【Daily Writing作文特训小组】小呆的作文贴，求监督求指导~

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
The government should support scientific research that does not have any practical use.



Humankind is like an innocent child in the universe. In fact, he does not really know what is wrong and what is right. What he regards as dogma now may become nonsense the next moment. In addition, there is no certain answer to the question that which use is practical. As a result, what we take as useless now may play an important role in our future life. Based on this, on no account should our government refuse(s ) (去掉s因为前面有should） to support scientific research that only seemingly (因为你前面就是在说这个practical与否不是绝对的，所以如果不加seemingly的话感觉又像是在自己驳倒自己了) do not have any practical use.+ （还有一个问题就是以前一个网上的老师帮我改作文时说论述性的句子最好主语用one、he什么的，用we、our、you好像不太好，有点中国式英语；而且最好一段话、一篇文章的主语人称保持一致，不要变来变去；所以我觉得从as a result开始是不是把we换成one, our变成his好一点？但是我也不确定，你觉得哪个读着感觉好就用哪个吧^_^）



There is no doubt that we, human beings, know very little about the universe. Moreover, we （even） do not even know much about ourselves. The most simple question to demonstrate my point is that “Where does the first being come from?” Nobody can answer it absolutely. Similarly (这样在句首连接一下两个类比句会比较醒目，要不然万一考官判卷时一看全是道理论证没有例子，一没仔细读乍一看没看懂其中的联系什么的就完蛋了；但也有可能是我理解力太差一上来读第一遍时没过脑子就没看懂==) it is conceivable that we can not （考试一般连着写cannot）simply judge the difference between practical use and its opposite, too. Thus if the government does not support scientific research (that does not have any practical use) that seems impractical (句子有点累赘，你读读试试， 我觉得该简单时还是要简单，长短句结合) , it may miss an actually functional research and lose opportunities in the future.




What’s more, there is no （unless） useless吧 thing in the world. Even nonsense can give rise to a new idea. Even an apple can bring home to Newton the law of gravity. Even an unsuccessful glue can contribute to the birth of Post-it. So if a government can tell what is （of no practical use） impractical（这样比较简洁）, then its future will be dim. If a government （can not）cannot tell what is （of no practical use）impractical, then (it) the question whether or not the government should support scientific research that has no practical use（你忘了加啦） (does) will(主将从现) not exist anymore(表强调).




But we should also take into account that the ability and resource of a country at a certain moment is certain. So the limited energy must be used to do the most important jobs and the most important jobs (have a name called) mean the things of practical use. As the government is behind the veil of ignorance （没看懂== 在无知/忽视的面纱下？）, it can only pay the most attention (on) to the most important jobs. So although the government should support all kinds of research, it has enough reasons to pay less on scientific research that seems to (does not) (即使是让步段也要加上seem，否则和你自己前面的观点矛盾) have no （any） practical use.



In a nutshell, it pays to support scientific research that seemingly does not have any practical use. If the government is not strong enough, it can choose to pay less.:

我觉得咱们俩的风格迥然不同，你特别理性，擅长道理论证，而且每一段都论证的头头是道很有条理，不会自己把自己给绕乱了，好厉害你是理科生吧^_^ 我就不行，我总也写不出纯理论性的陈述句，我总习惯于举例子，缺少道理论证，这方面还得向你多请教啊！由于结构思路无可挑剔所以就在语言上多提了些建议。


你写这篇作文时是怎么构思、写每一段的展开论述时是怎么思考、又用这么简练的字数把整个意思表达出来的呢？我觉得我就缺乏这方面的思路和思维需要向你学习，谢谢！

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改完啦 回家晚了 晚上才给你不好意思^_^ 13# 应小呆

lemonsweet3UID：2848875

hi！
那天你给我批的作文我又改了改，你有时间时可以看看 提提建议 谢谢：）
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1280367-2-1.html

lemonsweet3UID：2848875

小呆！我又来啦~~~~


With the development of communication technology, it is more and more convenient to work at home. As a result, many people choose to work at home using computers or telephones. Although it may contribute to their life qualities, it keeps people out of the crowd, which may do harm to their lives as well. What's more, some kinds of work need face to face cooperation to improve the productivity. I think the drawback outweigh the advantage.



Firstly, without face to face communication for a long time, people may feel lonely. Many kinds of mental diseases start with feeling lonely. What's more, if those who stay home to work give birth to children, their children may grow up in a lonely environment too. （为什么？没明白。你翻译成中文试一试自己读一读，我觉得好像没有什么直接逻辑关系啊； 可能你觉得有关系但是只是我没想到而已，那建议你写作文时多写一句举个小例子给考官解释一下 否则他很可能会被confuse，会觉得你说话不严谨）According to a recent survey, those children who grow up in a lonely environment may take the risk of violating laws 3 times more than normal children. What's more, they can not learn how to communicate with other people, as they do not have the chance to imitate their parents. （这句也有点不严谨，如果你有自己的理由的话最好把你的想法理由写清楚，否则考官可没时间帮你琢磨分析，很可能就pia了== 我自己觉得吧，1.家长在家用电话工作和别人打电话、用电脑视频对话，不也可以让孩子模仿来怎么沟通吗？ 2、家长在办公室工作的话，孩子与家长接触的时间更少了，家长和别人在办公室沟通时孩子根本看不见，又怎么会有have the chance to imitate their parents呢？ 3、即使家长在家工作，难道家长就不会带孩子出去玩、散步，以接触外面世界、和人沟通吗？）




Secondly, some kinds of work need face to face cooperation to be more productive. For example, accountants should work together to analyze a large international company. A single accountant can not handle so much information.（会计在家和同事们视频打电话不也行吗？但是关键是那样也没有面对面方便。对吧。所以建议你把what's more 换成“如果会计在家用电脑电话和同事们一起交流沟通一起工作，虽然可以但是很不方便，然而 接你下面写的那句话） What's more, face to face communication can encourage people to share their ideas more easily and to make the company more creative. It is very important for companies such as advertisement companies. What's more你连着用了好几次what's more,换一换吧 外国人好像不这么连着用==, working in the office can make people more concentrate on their jobs. It is because if you stay blank, other people, like the supervisor will find it, then you will be punished for absent-minded. So working in the office can make people more concentrate on their jobs. If they do not, they will be found and get punished. If one does his work at home, nobody will supervise him. He may spend a lot of time on unproductive things such as talking to his family, playing with his pets or just sleeping day and night.这个理由特别好很说得通，和前面几个理由比起来就显得没有可以反驳的地方，希望你考试时也尽量写一些这样的没有漏洞的理由^_^




Although, working in the office is much better, working at home also has many advantages. For example, those new mums will have more time to take care of their babies without decreasing income resources of the whole family. Writers and painters may have more chance to go out and accumulate more materials for their works.（不过作家画家是不是本来也没有固定办公室啊我觉得==） Moreover, this will do good to the environment of the city, because less cars are on the road hurrying to work.我觉得你这段的理由都写的特别好..我的作文写的就是同意在家工作更好，但是我觉得我的例子都没你在让步段说的这几个好== 学习了~~




So in a nutshell, working in the office is better not only for employees themselves but also for the productivity of the whole company. In some certain circumstances, working at home has some advantages, too.

这个题目我也写了，欢迎你来提建议：） 我觉得好多都是我自己觉得挺好的，别人一读就能发现大问题 哈哈
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1280367-2-1.html

lemonsweet3UID：2848875

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1280367-2-1.html

lemonsweet3UID：2848875

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.


If there is no woodpecker to take worms out of a tree, the tree will die. People's life has something like a tree. （特别好！我看到gter里好多人都特别擅长运用谚语啊典故啊什么的，觉得你们脑子里都好有料啊..这个是你限时作文30分钟里就想到的吗？）If he cannot accept criticize, he won't be successful. My opinion can be strengthened by the following discussion.


For one thing, nobody likes people who ignore his advice. Support from others is very important in cooperation of team. If one is disliked by his colleagues, he will get little support from them. As I have said above, he will lose the ability to be successful in a team. For instance, when I was 10 years old, I was distributed to a 10-person team to explore the weeds around our school and each write a report to the Biology teacher. One girl of our team was so aggressive that she would jeer anyone who criticizes her way of collect weeds. So we decided to leave her alone. On last day, we all completed our reports with abundant data and examples shared from each other.  But the poor girl had only a short report with 12 sentences on it. I don't have to say that（是不是直接Undoubtedly更地道..?） she was criticized by the teacher in the end. So if one cannot accept criticize from others, he will not get support from them.(再加一句and he won’t succeed比较点题)


For another, everyone will make mistakes. If you correct it in time, that will be fine. Whereas you leave them along, the accumulation will be serious. How to find your mistakes? For most of us, we need criticize from others, as we can not find the hole on the back of our pants.（特别好的举例!!） So criticize can help us do better job. It is especially true in a cooperation of team, as a black sheep in a team will destroy all of the work, no matter whether the black sheep is unintentional or not. For instance, last week one of my teammates called Lin Tong was ill, so she had to finish her part of our teamwork at hospital. As we cannot connected her easily, nobody can help her to find her mistakes. （我觉得这个例子有点跑题 因为题目说的是those who do not accept others’ criticism 然而这个女生不是成心不接受别人的批评，而是因为病了没人和她沟通和她联系）In the deadline, she asked her sister to send us her part of report and we just merge it with ours without revise. Yesterday, I saw our score on the internet. It is so low, beyond my worst wishes. I went to ask our professor, Dr Zheng, for reasons. When I came back, I was feel so bad about the fact that we didn't revise her part.



Some people may think that not all critics should be accept in a cooperation of team, as others may not know about what you are doing and may give wrong advice. They use a good company broken by a bad team leader as an example. But I have to say that, in a cooperatio of team, we can firstly accept critics and then judge it depend on ourselves, or ask more experienced parnters.（让步段特别好）



So in a nutshell, in a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn't be successful.


最后一个问题：小呆啊！你的这些裤子后面的洞自己看不见、啄木鸟的小例子是都是30分钟限时作文时随便一想就正好想到的吗？还是积累的呢..?how？我觉得我在运用典故、画龙点睛的小例子上就特别不行，需要向你学习！！

lemonsweet3UID：2848875

我前两天出去了 总也上不了网 没参加作文小组..
你如果有时间的话也看看我的吧 谢谢啦 没时间的话就算了it's ok!
你也723考吧？一起加油咯~~

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1280367-3-1.html