自己的PS初稿，求批，谢谢了。

986630036UID：3433799

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-20 21:35
我敢说要申请PHD的话PS的任何一句话跟学术方面无关就失败了

真的么？弱弱的问一句~

timohuuUID：3213764

貌似楼主的PS是申请的PHD么？

HardyNiborUID：3461489

986630036 发表于 2013-12-20 22:55
真的么？弱弱的问一句~

我也不是啥老手，这两天才看到的，一看就信了。你想多有道理吧。人家愿意看你写多少字那是有数的，你舍得浪费么

986630036UID：3433799

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-20 23:03
我也不是啥老手，这两天才看到的，一看就信了。你想多有道理吧。人家愿意看你写多少字那是有数的，你舍得 ...

好吧，我现在也信了~

yueqingfaUID：3439883

myyvictor 发表于 2013-12-20 20:43
楼主加油~

真的假的？我是一楼的楼主，其他楼各有楼主吧，难道我的这个mistake这么stupid？

yueqingfaUID：3439883

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-20 21:35
我敢说要申请PHD的话PS的任何一句话跟学术方面无关就失败了

谢谢提醒，但我看到很多好的PS其实个人经历（非学术）也写了很多。难道这是理工科申请和其他专业申请的区别？

yueqingfaUID：3439883

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-20 21:35
我敢说要申请PHD的话PS的任何一句话跟学术方面无关就失败了

我主要想写上自己的一次创业经历（学生时期的小打小闹），虽然失败了，但自己没有一蹶不振。楼主感觉又必须要吗？

HardyNiborUID：3461489

yueqingfa 发表于 2013-12-21 16:16
我主要想写上自己的一次创业经历（学生时期的小打小闹），虽然失败了，但自己没有一蹶不振。楼主感觉又必 ...

非智力因素比如坚韧的性格当然也算亮点。看你怎么控制篇幅和吸引读者了。

yueqingfaUID：3439883

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-21 16:43
非智力因素比如坚韧的性格当然也算亮点。看你怎么控制篇幅和吸引读者了。

恩恩，谢谢。

myyvictorUID：3444553

yueqingfa 发表于 2013-12-21 16:12
真的假的？我是一楼的楼主，其他楼各有楼主吧，难道我的这个mistake这么stupid？

参见百度百科：http://baike.baidu.com/link?url= ... JCW4axUti6S4lMIutt1
你是整栋楼的楼主。。。。:lol不影响理解的啦~~~~~

yueqingfaUID：3439883

myyvictor 发表于 2013-12-21 17:26
参见百度百科：http://baike.baidu.com/link?url=tMURPQMGA4v47lOkJjmY-FyUpLnihocglmij9wBniWRZgJCW4a ...

学习了，谢谢楼主

myyvictorUID：3444553

yueqingfa 发表于 2013-12-21 18:45
学习了，谢谢楼主

:L。。。。。又”谢谢楼主“。。。
楼主好好改PS啦，加油~

yueqingfaUID：3439883

nanapie 发表于 2013-12-20 17:06
个人意见，你自己看着来昂~ 我也不是牛人，也不了解你，我就简单说说我的意见吧。而且你要知道，一稿一般都 ...

亲，我把PS大修了一下。你再看看呗，麻烦了。不要看这么仔细了，看看全文结构合不合理。谢谢了

                                                      Personal Statement
In October 2012, I participated in Professor Qikun Zhang’s project: the separation of n-butyl alcohol-water system of less than azeotropic composition. There were two optional chemical processes we could choose: the traditional two- rectifying columns process and the combined process of membrane and single rectification column process. Considering the first one consumes too much energy and is not environmentally friendly, so we adopted the second one. However, we were not completely satisfied with the second option because the membrane equipment is too expensive and the process cannot be easily industrialized. At that time, I realized many excellent chemical processes are only theoretical possibilities because of little disadvantages and even some existing chemical processes still have enormous room for improvement and optimizing. I am then determined to pursue a PhD degree in Chemical Engineering with an emphasis in research and development of chemical engineering processes or fine chemical engineering.

In the project, I made the calculation of material and heat balance, simulated the combined process of membrane separation and rectification column with Aspen and drew process flow diagram with AutoCAD. Among all the achievements, what I feel most proud of is that I came up with innovative ideas of using the heat exchanger and separator to replace of the membrane in Aspen because as we know, there is no membrane model in the model library in Aspen. As a result, we simulated the whole process successfully.

In addition to participation in the project, I also focused on cultivating academic excellence on other aspects during my undergraduate study. Despite fierce competition in university, I was always the top 10% student during the past three years in my major. I have acquired many experimental skills from inorganic, organic, analytical, physical and comprehensive experiments. I also have a good command of chemical engineering equipments and distributed control system by attending the courses of Chemical Engineering Experiment and Simulation Experiment. Through Course Design of Chemical Engineering Principles and of Chemical Engineering Equipment, I can design rectifying columns and reactors independently.

I also have interests in entrepreneurship. I believe that the combination of technology and commerce is first productivity in this day and age. When I was a sophomore, as the sponsor of a three-group team, I came up with the innovative ideas of establishing the Mobile Newspaper of our university as a new business model. It went well at first, but because of some marketing problems, it went bankrupt. Despite the failure, I learned that establishing a business was not just a creative idea or technology innovation.

My ultimate goal is to develop new chemical processes or improve some extant chemical processes which can be applied to industrial departments. As for my career plan, I wish to be a productive and original professor who has close connections with industries. To achieve these goals, I need systematic training at a more advanced level badly. The reason why I choose XXX University is that it provides the top-ranking education for graduate students. I believe that with the graduate education at your university, I will not only be able to fulfill my dream, but to contribute substantially to the university as well. Your favorable evaluation of my application will be highly appreciated.

yueqingfaUID：3439883

mmsstt 发表于 2013-12-20 20:00
如果PS跟SOP只需要一个，那肯定是优先选择SOP的

LZ的这个文章上面有人分析过了，总体来说，你更多的应该 ...

楼主你也帮我看看吧，我把PS大修了一下，看看这次有进步没
                                                       Personal Statement
In October 2012, I participated in Professor Qikun Zhang’s project: the separation of n-butyl alcohol-water system of less than azeotropic composition. There were two optional chemical processes we could choose: the traditional two- rectifying columns process and the combined process of membrane and single rectification column process. Considering the first one consumes too much energy and is not environmentally friendly, so we adopted the second one. However, we were not completely satisfied with the second option because the membrane equipment is too expensive and the process cannot be easily industrialized. At that time, I realized many excellent chemical processes are only theoretical possibilities because of little disadvantages and even some existing chemical processes still have enormous room for improvement and optimizing. I am then determined to pursue a PhD degree in Chemical Engineering with an emphasis in research and development of chemical engineering processes or fine chemical engineering.

In the project, I made the calculation of material and heat balance, simulated the combined process of membrane separation and rectification column with Aspen and drew process flow diagram with AutoCAD. Among all the achievements, what I feel most proud of is that I came up with innovative ideas of using the heat exchanger and separator to replace of the membrane in Aspen because as we know, there is no membrane model in the model library in Aspen. As a result, we simulated the whole process successfully.

In addition to participation in the project, I also focused on cultivating academic excellence on other aspects during my undergraduate study. Despite fierce competition in university, I was always the top 10% student during the past three years in my major. I have acquired many experimental skills from inorganic, organic, analytical, physical and comprehensive experiments. I also have a good command of chemical engineering equipments and distributed control system by attending the courses of Chemical Engineering Experiment and Simulation Experiment. Through Course Design of Chemical Engineering Principles and of Chemical Engineering Equipment, I can design rectifying columns and reactors independently.

I also have interests in entrepreneurship. I believe that the combination of technology and commerce is first productivity in this day and age. When I was a sophomore, as the sponsor of a three-group team, I came up with the innovative ideas of establishing the Mobile Newspaper of our university as a new business model. It went well at first, but because of some marketing problems, it went bankrupt. Despite the failure, I learned that establishing a business was not just a creative idea or technology innovation.

My ultimate goal is to develop new chemical processes or improve some extant chemical processes which can be applied to industrial departments. As for my career plan, I wish to be a productive and original professor who has close connections with industries. To achieve these goals, I need systematic training at a more advanced level badly. The reason why I choose XXX University is that it provides the top-ranking education for graduate students. I believe that with the graduate education at your university, I will not only be able to fulfill my dream, but to contribute substantially to the university as well. Your favorable evaluation of my application will be highly appreciated.

yueqingfaUID：3439883

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-20 21:35
我敢说要申请PHD的话PS的任何一句话跟学术方面无关就失败了

大神，看看我的PS修改之后的咋样，谢谢了
                                          Personal Statement
In October 2012, I participated in Professor Qikun Zhang’s project: the separation of n-butyl alcohol-water system of less than azeotropic composition. There were two optional chemical processes we could choose: the traditional two- rectifying columns process and the combined process of membrane and single rectification column process. Considering the first one consumes too much energy and is not environmentally friendly, so we adopted the second one. However, we were not completely satisfied with the second option because the membrane equipment is too expensive and the process cannot be easily industrialized. At that time, I realized many excellent chemical processes are only theoretical possibilities because of little disadvantages and even some existing chemical processes still have enormous room for improvement and optimizing. I am then determined to pursue a PhD degree in Chemical Engineering with an emphasis in research and development of chemical engineering processes or fine chemical engineering.

In the project, I made the calculation of material and heat balance, simulated the combined process of membrane separation and rectification column with Aspen and drew process flow diagram with AutoCAD. Among all the achievements, what I feel most proud of is that I came up with innovative ideas of using the heat exchanger and separator to replace of the membrane in Aspen because as we know, there is no membrane model in the model library in Aspen. As a result, we simulated the whole process successfully.

In addition to participation in the project, I also focused on cultivating academic excellence on other aspects during my undergraduate study. Despite fierce competition in university, I was always the top 10% student during the past three years in my major. I have acquired many experimental skills from inorganic, organic, analytical, physical and comprehensive experiments. I also have a good command of chemical engineering equipments and distributed control system by attending the courses of Chemical Engineering Experiment and Simulation Experiment. Through Course Design of Chemical Engineering Principles and of Chemical Engineering Equipment, I can design rectifying columns and reactors independently.

I also have interests in entrepreneurship. I believe that the combination of technology and commerce is first productivity in this day and age. When I was a sophomore, as the sponsor of a three-group team, I came up with the innovative ideas of establishing the Mobile Newspaper of our university as a new business model. It went well at first, but because of some marketing problems, it went bankrupt. Despite the failure, I learned that establishing a business was not just a creative idea or technology innovation.

My ultimate goal is to develop new chemical processes or improve some extant chemical processes which can be applied to industrial departments. As for my career plan, I wish to be a productive and original professor who has close connections with industries. To achieve these goals, I need systematic training at a more advanced level badly. The reason why I choose XXX University is that it provides the top-ranking education for graduate students. I believe that with the graduate education at your university, I will not only be able to fulfill my dream, but to contribute substantially to the university as well. Your favorable evaluation of my application will be highly appreciated.