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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-5 23:36:16 |显示全部楼层

issue-recommendation题型开头段造句练习

有版友提出语言表达的问题如何解决。这确实是很头疼的问题。一个基本的原则就是要多看好的句子、多模仿;与此同时要纠正自己随意写句子的习惯,只有见过的句型、用法才写,没见过的、自己生造的坚决不写。我会尝试设计一些造句练习,希望大家踊跃回帖参与,这样我才有动力继续。同时欢迎提出各种建议。

回帖时请将完整的练习、例句帖出来。



Issue 82

Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


I agree that this recommendation would be beneficial for students specialising in certain disciplines such as foreign languages, international trade and comparative politics.  Yet, students in other fields such as national language and literature, history and archeology would find the requirement unnecessary.  Moreover, students with limited financial resources or abilities to adapt to the new environment may not benefit from the recommendation.  


I agree that this recommendation would be beneficial for students specialising in certain disciplines such as foreign languages, international trade and comparative politics.
句子的功能:针对题目的建议提出立场,指出这个建议对某个群体的学生是有益的。
同意转换:this recommendation would be beneficial for 如果改成benefit怎么写 如果改成students做主语又怎么写
语法结构:
students specialising动名词后置对前面的名词进行限定
disciplines作为一个概括性的名词后面跟such as及并列结构引出具体的例子

注意下面的两个句子也是表面立场,但是针对不同的学生群体,这个建议就可能不好

Yet, students in other fields such as national language and literature, history and archeology would find the requirement unnecessary. Moreover, students with limited financial resources or abilities to adapt to the new environment may not benefit from the recommendation.
这个句子里是如何表达不好的?这里为了避免词汇重复用了什么词?还可能用什么词?

练习
129) College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

尝试用上面的句型写出这道题的第一段
基本思路为
对于家境富裕的学生,这个建议没有好处,他们可以根据自己的兴趣来选专业
对于特别有才华的学生,这个建议也不好,因为他们应该根据自己的才华来选专业,将来总会有工作
对于经济压力较大的学生,这个建议很合适,因为对他们来说找到工作最重要

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-7 17:47:12 |显示全部楼层
ikow 发表于 2014-11-4 19:33
据说e-rater会根据字数限定分数,如果不超过500字,最多就是4分了
最后人评定的分数和e-rater误差在0.5分 ...

84楼更新了 请提意见

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-7 17:53:32 |显示全部楼层
ikow 发表于 2014-11-6 23:49
Issue 82

Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester ...

I agree that this recommendation would be beneficial for students in a poor economic conditions owing to the importance to find a job as soon as possible. Yet rich students would find the requirement unnecessary because they can rely on their interests to select profeesion. Moreover, students of great talent  may not benefit from the recommendation in that they should choose major by their gifts and will always find a right job.

修改
I agree that this recommendation would be beneficial for students under a poor economic conditions owing to the importance to finding a job as soon as possible. Yet rich students would find the requirement unnecessary because they have the financial freedom to choose fields that interest them. Moreover, students of great talent may not benefit from the recommendation in that they should choose major based on their gifts and will always find a right job.

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ikow + 1 感谢老师批改~~

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-11 15:42:17 |显示全部楼层

issue 5 funding for big city culture示范及中间段过渡技巧

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-26 18:55 编辑

The first sentence of each middle paragraph should fulfil two functions, to briefly remind the reader of the main idea from the previous paragraph and to summarise the main point for this paragraph. Writing the sentences this way can ensure the smooth transition across the paragraphs and help the readers to follow the argument effortlessly. Again we can look at the essay by Russell as an example.  



I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy.第一个分论点与主旨句呼应  I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. 第二个分论点与主旨句呼应。注意这里的equal与上一个目标呼应 I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

这里的equal passion实际上就是和上段的love相呼应 形成某种衔接



Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. 注意这里的承上启下与前两段实现衔接 But always pity brought me back to earth. 第三个分论点与主旨句呼应Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

而这一段的首句就是对前面两段内容的总结和提醒


再来看一个我写的例子




Issue 5:

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.

Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

Due to the development of modern technology, many people are concerned about how to preserve their nations’ cultural traditions and promote their national identities for the new generations who have been exposed to globalised culture with little local flavour.  Since government resources are limited, it is argued that major cities should be the top priority for financial support because the cultural traditions are generated and preserved here.  While I agree that major cities are important for preserving and generating cultural tradition, other areas are equally important in many countries.  Since cultural programs in major cities can receive support from different financial sources such as advertising, donation of city residents and big corporations, government money should be invested to programs in small towns and rural regions where resources from private sectors are not available.

There is no doubt that major cities are important sites for preserving, generating and celebrating cultural traditions.  Take the well-known Statue of Liberty in New York City as an example.  This giant copper statue was a gift of France to the US and has become a popular icon for freedom and democracy inspiring people all over the world.  In late 19th century and early 20th century, Statue of Liberty had welcomed nearly 14 million immigrants who entered the United States through New York. For these immigrants and their descendants, the Statue of Liberty was a symbol of hope and freedom.  For the rest of the United States, the Statue of Liberty celebrates diversity and tolerance, the core values that define the cultural tradition of a young republic.

Despite the importance of major cities for cultural traditions, government funding should not be heavily invested here because there are other funding sources available.  The national park service that manages the Statue of Liberty in New York, for example, receive financial support in the form of admission ticket fares from thousands of tourists who come to visit everyday from all over the world.  Major corporations and private citizens also donated large amount of money to the private foundation built for the Statue of Liberty.  In addition, the cultural heritage site also attracts thousands of volunteers every year to donate their time to the daily operation of national park services for the Statue of Liberty.  Therefore, as this example adequately illustrates, cultural traditions in major cities are not the top priorities for government funding given all the alternative sources for funding and support.

On the other hand, other preservation programs for cultural traditions in small towns or rural areas should be supported by taxpayers’ money.  For example, the use of abacus in mathematical calculation, which has been listed as world intangible cultural heritage by UNESCO, is almost unheard of nowadays in major Chinese cities.  With the advent of computers, calculation tasks are performed by sophisticated financial management software in the stores and offices in modern cities.  Even schoolchildren are granted access to pocket calculators to do their math homework.  To preserve the art of using abacus, one has to visit the small towns and villages in China where people without access to computers still use abacus for calculation.  Since abacus has little value for advertising, it is unlikely that any program for promoting abacus would attract sponsorship from large corporations.  Therefore, the government should step in and provide necessary support to build programs that preserve the use of abacus as a traditional way of mathematical calculation.

In conclusion, as the two examples aptly demonstrate, government funding should be used to support culture preservation programs in small towns and rural areas and the cultural traditions in major cities will thrive with the funding and support from non-governmental sectors.

练习
请指出以下两句话如何做到承上启下的。


Despite the importance of major cities for cultural traditions, government funding should not be heavily invested here because there are other funding sources available.

On the other hand, other preservation programs for cultural traditions in small towns or rural areas should be supported by taxpayers’ money.





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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-13 01:54:19 |显示全部楼层

Argument 31分析及提纲

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-3-29 14:25 编辑

31) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


这道题大概怎么写
首先结论是 Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do

注意结论里讲的是residents 而前面花钱是政府 政府和居民是不同的

事实: the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects.

事实:The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. 这个可以看做一个整体 后一句基本上是为前一句提供例证

上面这句话里有两点要注意
-P比B政府花的钱多一倍 这里已经排除了税收总量的差别
- 注意是居民人数相同 而不是在校学生的人数相同

所以这道题可以从三方面来讨论

首先是P比B政府花多一倍钱的原因是什么 以及是不是一直都这样 需要了解过去3-5年的记录以及未来几年的计划等等 也许今年比较特殊 有一些长期的投资 或者说非经常性的开支  总之仅仅看一年是不够的

其次要了解老百姓对政府这样花钱是否满意以及有没有足够的影响力 比如说制订预算的官员是不是民选的 他们的决定是否受欢迎 因为最终结论是关于居民对教育的态度 因此要看居民的态度和政府的行动之间的关系  
这里还可以顺便了解一下当地人对公共学校的其他形式支持  比如捐款、义工等等

最后要了解两地学生数量的对比 以及平均每个学生的投入

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毉易-牧羊人 + 1 感谢分享,学习

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-13 18:50:50 |显示全部楼层

issue 38 示范 define ourselves through social groups


Issue 38

It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


For all human beings, identity is a complex and perplexing issue. Some argues that, to answer the question “Who am I?”, we have to identify with different social groups.  While I agree that we need to participate in different social communities in order to construct our identities, interacting with our parents, partners and children in private relationships is also an essential aspect of our identities.  

One important identity marker is our nationality or citizenship.  Although our nationality was determined at the time we were born, we have to participate in a number of specific social activities in order to express our identities as a citizen of a particular nation.  One obvious thing is to speak the national language shared by all the people from that nation.  Through speaking the language fluently and write in that language competently we immediately identify ourselves with all the other fellow citizens of the nation.  In addition, we also support the Constitution of our nation and participate in the democratic processes such as electing the president and the Congressmen.  Such political acts we engaged in with other fellow citizens also define us as a member of the nation.  

At institutional level, we also define ourselves through getting involved in activities as part of different communities.  As university students, for example, we have to take courses at university level and complete assignments given by university professors.  The educational experiences at college level help us develop skills that only university students would have the opportunities to learn, e.g. conducting original researches based on library materials and field works.  Furthermore, we also specialise in specific disciplines, e.g. economics or electrical engineering.  The methodologies and theories unique to a particular discipline also enable us to look at the world from a particular perspective and our training in our major fields defines who we are as a researcher.  

Nevertheless, our identities are more complex than our memberships of different social groups.  We also define ourselves through intimate and private relationships with our family members.  When interacting with our parents, our partners and our children, we do not always follow any rules prescribed by any social groups and we do not need to perform in a way to meet the expectations of the larger community.  In the private domains of family, we have more space to express ourselves liberally without worrying about being stigmatised by any social groups.  The good time we spent with our families, the good food we shared and the emotional joy and pain we brought to one another all define who we are as private individuals.  It is fortunate that despite the different roles we have to play in society, we can still enjoy and celebrate our true selves with our family members who are willing to accept who we are regardless of any social rules.  

Overall speaking, it is reasonable to claim that we define ourselves primarily through participating in different communities or social groups while playing different roles following the prescribed rules.  Nevertheless, we still have the opportunities to define ourselves through building satisfying relationships with our family members for whom we may enjoy the freedom to be whoever we want to be.
已有 2 人评分声望 收起 理由
vinci_goh + 2 感谢分享 非常好
Narcissus-art + 1 这篇范文很棒!把身份认同这个抽象的概念用.

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-14 12:05:46 |显示全部楼层

argument的1+3模型及提纲写法 以argument15为例


argument的1+3模型及提纲写法

和issue一样,写argument全文前,请先写提纲给我点评、修改稿经我认可。
具体写提纲的步骤如下:

1. 抄题包括argument和写作指引
2. 列出argument的结论和主要证据
3. 写完整的第一段(英语) 这段应包括两句话 第一概述原文的结论和主要论据 第二概述中间各段要写的几个方面  
4. 写出中间段的主题句(英语)用汉语解释主要讨论的点

提纲示范 (请严格遵循)


1 抄题
15) The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.


2 列出argument的结论和主要证据

claim或结论:Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers.



证据01 In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change.

证据02

Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead.Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.

3 写第一段
In the memo, the manager argues that replacing bitter with margarin would have little impact on the customers citing the evidence about the percentage of customers who complained. There are, in fact, different ways to interpret the facts with regard to complaints about the food in general and the replacement presented in the argument that may lead to alternative conclusions.

4. 写出中间段的主题句(英语)用汉语解释主要讨论的点

中间第一段
The manager believes that 98% of the customers are satisfied with the change given that only 2% of customers complained. Yet, there are different ways to explain the relatively small number of complaints.  
接下来用汉语解释如何展开本段 (略)

中间第二段
As far as the customers’ ability to distinguish butter from margarine is concerned, we can also explore other rival explanations.
接下来用汉语解释如何展开本段 (略)

中间第三段
We also look into explanation alternative to the usage of the term “butter”.

接下来用汉语解释如何展开本段 (略)

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-16 11:58:01 |显示全部楼层
qinjichun 发表于 2014-11-16 05:50
老师这个题不是让你说你更同意哪个观点吗? 而您说的却是这两种观点会分别被哪两类人认同,这样算不算呢是 ...

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我的观点就是针对不同的人情况不同,其中一部分和前一种观点接近,另一部分和后一种观点接近
题目并没有要求必须同意哪一种观点 而是要求讨论自己的立场和哪一个更接近
因此提出一个复杂的观点 针对不同人群支持不同的观点是合适的 不存在离题的问题

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-16 12:00:17 |显示全部楼层
qinjichun 发表于 2014-11-16 05:54
还有老师我在corpus查了一下好像没有resolved puzzle这个说法,当然肯定能理解什么意思是不是换个词好点? ...

1                 PLAYING        169                 58464        0.29        4.85       
2                 SOLVE        145                 13180        1.10        6.78       
3                 PLAY        122                 124879        0.10        3.29       
4                 SOLVED        80                 5141        1.56        7.28       
5                 FIT        60                 33874        0.18        4.14       
6                 JOINING        58                 23956        0.24        4.60       
7                 SOLVING        57                 5871        0.97        6.60       
8                 PUTTING        51                 34120        0.15        3.90       
9                 JOINS        19                 11229        0.17        4.08       
10                 E-MAIL        19                 23665        0.08        3.00       
11                 PRESENTS        18                 12383        0.15        3.86       
12                 PIECING        17                 338        5.03        8.97       
13                 ASSEMBLING        13                 1482        0.88        6.45       
14                 POSES        9                 4052        0.22        4.47       
15                 FITTING        9                 4420        0.20        4.35       
16                 RESOLVE        9                 9647        0.09        3.22       
17                 ASSEMBLE        8                 2847        0.28        4.81       
18                 FITS        8                 6550        0.12        3.61       
19                 ASSEMBLED        7                 5552        0.13        3.65       
20                 REWORKING        6                 366        1.64        7.35       
21                 COMPLETING        6                 4412        0.14        3.76       
22                 POSED        6                 6352        0.09        3.24       
23                 SOLVES        5                 611        0.82        6.35       
24                 UNRAVEL        5                 1258        0.40        5.31       
25                 CONSTRUCTING        5                 2376        0.21        4.39       
26                 FITTED        5                 3500        0.14        3.83       
27                 FINISHING        5                 5899        0.08        3.08       
28                 PIECED        3                 489        0.61        5.94       
29                 CONFRONTS        3                 1061        0.28        4.82       
30                 PONDERED        3                 1090        0.28        4.78       
31                 PUZZLING        3                 1579        0.19        4.25       
32                 INTRIGUED        3                 2623        0.11        3.51       
33                 EDITING        3                 3140        0.10        3.25       
34                 UNPUZZLING        2                 1        200.00        14.29       
35                 POLYFOAM        2                 5        40.00        11.96       
36                 VINDICATE        2                 242        0.83        6.37       
37                 DECIPHERING        2                 342        0.58        5.87       
38                 GNAWED        2                 428        0.47        5.54       
39                 COAXING        2                 567        0.35        5.14       
40                 GRACED        2                 846        0.24        4.56       
41                 ELUDED        2                 880        0.23        4.50       
42                 DEFIES        2                 911        0.22        4.45       
43                 TACKLED        2                 1068        0.19        4.22       
44                 COMPLETES        2                 1104        0.18        4.18       
45                 WRESTLE        2                 1271        0.16        3.97       
46                 EMBODY        2                 1359        0.15        3.88       
47                 TACKLING        2                 1365        0.15        3.87       
48                 WITNESSING        2                 1666        0.12        3.58       
49                 PUZZLES        2                 1750        0.11        3.51       
50                 DWELL        2                 1835        0.11        3.44       
51                 DISTRACT        2                 1844        0.11        3.44       
52                 CONFUSE        2                 1876        0.11        3.41       
53                 SCRAMBLING        2                 2304        0.09        3.12       
54                 CLICKED        2                 2337        0.09        3.10       
55                 DEPICTING        2                 2426        0.08        3.04       
56                 FICTION-COMES        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
57                 HEAHHCARE        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
58                 CAPTTIRED        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
59                 COM-PLETES        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
60                 CONFESSES-COMPLAINS        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
61                 CONSONANTED        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
62                 KITBASH        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
63                 LIVE-TO-TELL        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
64                 PAPERQUAKE        1                 1        100.00        13.29       
65                 KLAX        1                 3        33.33        11.70       
66                 READAPTED        1                 4        25.00        11.29       
67                 JOSHES        1                 8        12.50        10.29       
68                 DEMAGNETIZE        1                 10        10.00        9.96       
69                 UNKNOTS        1                 11        9.09        9.83       
70                 ALPHABETIZING        1                 19        5.26        9.04       
71                 STICKLES        1                 21        4.76        8.89       
72                 PARTICULARIZE        1                 28        3.57        8.48       
73                 TANTALIZES        1                 29        3.45        8.43       
74                 TYPESET        1                 33        3.03        8.24       
75                 PROSCRIBING        1                 41        2.44        7.93       
76                 RESUBMITTED        1                 41        2.44        7.93       
77                 ETCHES        1                 43        2.33        7.86       
78                 LEATHERED        1                 43        2.33        7.86       
79                 REEMERGES        1                 49        2.04        7.67       
80                 RONNING        1                 50        2.00        7.64       
81                 CO-EDITED        1                 60        1.67        7.38       
82                 ENFRANCHISED        1                 69        1.45        7.18       
83                 SUSS        1                 71        1.41        7.14       
84                 KRISTALLNACHT        1                 73        1.37        7.10       
85                 BLEATED        1                 84        1.19        6.89       
86                 SCAMMING        1                 84        1.19        6.89       
87                 TANTALIZE        1                 91        1.10        6.78       
88                 TANTALIZED        1                 97        1.03        6.69       
89                 REASSEMBLING        1                 120        0.83        6.38       
90                 COHERE        1                 121        0.83        6.37       
91                 WEISKOPF        1                 122        0.82        6.35       
92                 DAWDLE        1                 138        0.72        6.18       
93                 ASTONISH        1                 139        0.72        6.17       
94                 INTERLOCK        1                 141        0.71        6.15       
95                 GARFINKEL        1                 152        0.66        6.04       
96                 DECORATES        1                 155        0.65        6.01       
97                 TOTEMS        1                 157        0.64        5.99       
98                 UNRAVELS        1                 166        0.60        5.91       
99                 PROFFER        1                 169        0.59        5.88       
100                 RHYMED

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-16 12:06:29 |显示全部楼层
maoerdwn 发表于 2014-11-16 09:11
老师,想问问你对作文字数的看法是什么?issue和argument分别大约多少字比较合适?看了您这篇argument,写 ...

虽然e-rater在评分的时候会考虑文章的长度,但这不是决定性的因素。很多同学为了刻意把文章写长,会导致句子不通顺、结构不合理等问题,因此,我不建议大家追求写太长的文章。一般写5段,中间各段控制在6句话以内。
直接回答你的问题,我写的时候不会刻意考虑字数,写清楚就行。 对于大部分只需要4分的同学,400字足够了。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-16 12:25:21 |显示全部楼层

GRE作文不仅仅是一次考试

相信大部分同学来这个版面的目的都是为了准备GRE考试,只要作文考到一定的分数就万事大吉了。在我看来,真正能考好GRE作文的同学都不会仅仅把它当做一次考试,而会将提高英语写作和批判性思维的能力作为自己去美国求学的过程中一个重要的任务和目标。而GRE作文考试中的各种题目则为我们提供了很好的练习机会。
我知道这样的人少之又少,但我很希望未来在寄托的日子里,能遇到一些真正有心提高英语写作的同学,能指导他们将会是我工作中最大的快乐来源。事实上,我除了研究GRE写作,也关注留学文书写作和英语论文写作。和坊间的牟利机构不同,我辅导留学文书写作时不收费的,也正因为如此,我的精力有限,不会有时间辅导很多同学。但是我希望通过一段时间对这些问题的科研,我能发展出一套可行的辅导模式,让更多由英语写作经验且热心教育的朋友加入写作辅导的行列。我相信写作能力的提升不仅是一种技能的培养,也是整个人的成长过程的一部分。能见证部分同学的成长也是我的荣幸。

已有 3 人评分声望 收起 理由
mazent0sh + 1 由衷发现老师有一种与当代中国社会浮躁急进.
毉易-牧羊人 + 1 敬佩!
diehard + 6 深刻认识到了AW的重要性,会好好努力!

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-17 22:28:44 |显示全部楼层

Argument 6 deer population drop 提纲示范

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-6-4 21:06 编辑

6) Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

According to the argument, the decline in deer populations was caused by the climate changes that prevented the deer from migrating across the frozen sea for food. We need further evidence about the actual changes in deer population, the local climate and the conditions of the ice as well as the environment of deer in order to decide if this argument is reasonable.

ts 1 We need more information about the actual changes in deer population to assess how reliable the hunters’ reports are.  这段重点讨论鹿群数量究竟有没有减少

ts 2 More evidence about the local climate and the conditions of frozen sea is necessary to know if the deer can still follow the age-old migration patterns for food.
其实文章只说鹿群数量减少和全球变暖同时发生 并没有直接说当地已经没有冰路可走

ts 3 Another issue for further investigation is whether there are other environmental factors that might lead to reduction in deer populations. 这段可重点谈可能导致鹿群数量下降的其他因素

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-18 18:38:34 |显示全部楼层

issue 2 study major cities 根据主旨句写主题句练习

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-8-17 11:37 编辑

2) To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


thesis

The most important characteritics of a society include its political system, economic structure and the public school system. To understand each of the aspects of the society, it is important to study its major cities as well as smaller towns and the rural areas because the political, economic and educational institutions differ greatly among major cities, small towns and rural areas.

请根据以上主旨句写出三个主题句(英语)并用汉语解释如何展开。


全文:涂成白色,请练习后参考


The most important characteritics of a society include its political system, economic structure and the public school system. To understand each of the aspects of the society, it is important to study its major cities as well as smaller towns and the rural areas because the political, economic and educational institutions differ greatly among major cities, small towns and rural areas.

The political system of a society is often shaped by the economic and cultural dynamics of the local communities as well as the nation as a whole.  To the extent that the politics is influenced by the national institutions such as the Constitution, it is sufficient to study how people in the major cities are involved in political activities. To understand the presidential election of the US, for example, one can follow the presidential candidates as they tour the major cities during their campaigns and investigate how the city residents make their decisions regarding the different candidates and how they think about the major issues covered in the debate among the candidates.  Nevertheless, an important dimension of the modern society is the diversity of political activities one can observe in the local communities. Voters in a small village in a Southern United State may think very differently about a particular issue compared to voters in New York. Therefore, to fully understand the politics of the society, one has to study the rural areas and small towns as well.  

In addition to political system, economic development is another aspect one should not overlook in order to understand the society.  Usually the major cities provide the physical space for economic activities that are important the society. For example, international stock markets are located in major cities such as New York, London and Hong Kong.  To understand the economics of a society, one needs to study how the financial industries operate in such major cities. On the other hand, small villages and counties also play vital roles in the national economy with their contribution to difference economic sectors such as agriculture and tourism.  Therefore, studying the major cities alone is not sufficient to fully understand the economy of the entire society.  

Finally, to fully understand the most important characteristics of a society, one should also study how the public school systems work.  In many societies, the public school systems differ greatly among rural areas, suburbs and big cities as the public schools often respond to the different needs of the local communities. In the rural areas, given the schoolchildren’s extensive experiences with the agriculture, the public schools will include more courses related to agriculture in the curriculum. In the suburbs, with most schoolchildren from the middle class, the public schools may teach more courses that are ideologically oriented towards the middle classes. In the major cities, with schoolchildren more likely coming from lower socioeconomic classes, the public school teachers may emphasize a different set of values and skills in their classrooms.  Therefore, to fully understand how the public school work in the society, one has to study the major cities as well as rural and suburban areas.  

In conclusion, to understand the political, economic and educational development of a society, it is important to study the major cities as well as the countryside and the suburban areas where people from different socioeconomic classes are engaged in different political, economic and educational activities.





另外还写了一篇
To understand the modern society and investigate its most prominent features, we should definitely focus our attention on its major cities because the major cities usually develop models and patterns that would be copied or imitated by other cities, counties and rural areas through institutions such as patent, chain stores and organisational learning.  I would illustrate my position through three major aspects of a society: the use of technologies, the retail industry and higher education.  

There is no doubt that, to understand a society, we need to look into how technologies are used among the people. To do that, we only need to do research in major cities.  For example, if we want to investigate how people use electronic devices to make payments, we should observe people in the major cities and interview them about their preferences and perceptions of the technology.  Since the e-payment system usually involves patented technologies that can be transferred to other areas, the patterns of customer behaviours observed in major cities will be found in smaller cities, counties and even rural areas sooner or later. In the area of technology usage, people living in major cities can serve as suitable subjects for case studies.

Another important characteristic of modern society is the development of retail industry, i.e. how consumer products are marketed and sold.  Again, we only need to study the major cities to understand how retail industry works.  One of the major institutions in retail industry is chain store through which major brand name corporations sell their products in similar ways around the world.  To know how Louis Vuitton promotes its products, there is no need to travel to different places all over the world. Just visiting the main shops in a few major cities, we will have a basic idea of the marketing strategies of the company. To save costs in operation, companies like LV would reuse their ideas for promoting products in other areas.  

Finally, we can also understand the higher education in a given society through studying the major universities usually located in the major cities. Since universities are usually following a set of standards and guidelines in designing their curriculums and delivering their courses, the practices of major universities in major cities can be studied as representative cases to generate research insights that are usually applicable to similar universities in other areas.  Through student exchange programs and visiting professorship, universities also learn from one another at institutional level and become more alike in how they operate.  As a result, it is sufficient to study universities in major cities to understand the main features of higher education.   

In conclusion, I strongly agree that major cities can serve as representative cases for studying the important characteristics of our society because in other cities and areas people often learn the best practices that have been developed in major cities.





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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-18 22:12:34 |显示全部楼层

(转帖)【argu写作指导】evidence类

原帖地址:
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1481123-1-1.html



之前在别人的帖子里发表过一些对新G写作指导的个人看法,但很多人还是没有意识到这个问题。所以我打算以此贴强调,就以evidence为例。

不说别的,先上范文:

    It might seem logical, at first glance, to agree with the argument in Dr. Karp’s article
    that children in Tertia actually are raised by their biological parents (and perhaps even,
    by implication, that an observation-centered approach to anthropological study is
    not as valid as an interview-centered one). However, in order to fully evaluate this
    argument, we need to have a significant amount of additional evidence. The argument
    could end up being much weaker than it seems, or it might actually be quite valid. In
    order to make that determination, we need to know more then analyze what we learn.

    The first piece of evidence that we would need in order to evaluate Dr. Karp’s claims
    is information about whether or not Tertia and the surrounding island group have
    changed significantly in the past 20 years. Dr. Field conducted his observational study
    20 years ago, and it is possible that Tertia has changed significantly since then. For
    example, if we had evidence that in teh intervening years Westerners had settled on
    the island and they introduced a more typical Western-style family structure, it would
    certainly weaken Dr. Karp’s argument. In that case, the original study could have been
    accurate, and Dr. Karp’s study could be correct, as well, though his conclusion that Dr.
    Field’s method is ineffective would be seriously weakened.

    Another piece of evidence that might help us evaluate this claim involves the exact
    locations where Dr. Karp’s interviews took place. According to this article, Dr. Karp and
    his graduate students conducted interviews of “children living in the group of islands
    that includes Tertia.” If we were to learn that they never interviewed a single Tertian
    child, it would significantly weaken the conclusion. It could turn out to be the case, for
    example, that children on Tertia are raised communally, whereas children on other
    islands nearby are raised by their biological parents.

    In order to fully evaluate this article, we would also need to learn more about the
    interview questions that Dr. Karp’s team used. What exactly did they ask? We don’t
    know, nor do we know what the children’s responses actually were. What did they say
    about their biological parents? The mere fact that they speak more frequently about
    their biological parents than they do about other adults does not meant hat they are
    raised by their biological parents. It would significantly undermine Dr. Karp’s argument
    if it turned out that the children said things like how much they missed their parents or
    how their parents had left them in a communal environment. Without knowing WHAT
    the children said, it is hard to accept Dr. Karp’s conclusion.

    It is slightly more difficult to discuss the evidence we might need in order to
    evaluate the more interesting claims in Dr. Karp’s article, namely his extension of the
    results of his study to a conclusion that interview-centered methods are inherently
    more valid than observational-centered approaches. In order to fully evaluate this
    claim, in fact, we would need to look at many more examples of interview-based and
    observation-based anthropological studies and we would also need to look into
    different study designs. Perhaps Dr. Field did not conduct an effective observational
    study, but other observational approaches could be effective. In order to make such
    grandiose claims, Dr. Karp really needs a lot of additional evidence (ideally a meta -
    analysis of hundreds of anthropological studies).

    Clearly, then, we need to have additional evidence in order to get a more complete
    understanding of the strengths and weaknesses of Dr. Karp’s article. We need to know
    about Tertia and the surrounding islands, whether or not they have changed over the
    past 20 years. We also need to know about study design (Dr. Karp’s and Dr. Field’s).
    And we really need a lot more information if we want to extend the results of a study
    about one island culture to all anthropological fieldwork.



相信看过OG的人,应该都知道这篇Dr. Karp的6分范文。也许你没时间看了, 那么至少,请你看一下我用红色字体标出的部分,体会一下,什么叫evidence统领全文。

同志们!该从老G北美范文的梦里醒过来了!这玩意儿根本不是一回事啊!

evidence的写作指导赫然写着:

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

首先,要说明需要哪些具体的证据。所谓具体,可以说是越具体越好。比如你可以说:
(1)我需要一份对居民的调查
(2)我需要知道交通事故的地点,起因
(3)作者应该告诉我们,前5年的销售额如何
有时候,举evidence是需要创造力的,不是随便挑一挑逻辑错误就可以。

其次,最重要的部分,是说明这些证据会如何加强或削弱原论断,比如:

假如前5年的销售额都比现在高,那么论者的假设恐怕是站不住脚的。相反,如果不是这样,那么论者的说法就被有效支持了。

注意,所谓加强和削弱,不是简单地说if XXX, then weaken; otherwise, strengthen,而是非常具体地把其中的逻辑关系说出来,到底怎么加强和削弱了。

P.S. 说真的,我不知道为什么那么多培训机构都对写作指导持有那么轻蔑的态度。ETS恶心人的能力从来是只增不减的,那么多道重复的题目,你以为是ETS吃干饭了吗?迄今为止,都没有一本参考书对argu的四种写作指导好好研究过。我希望这个帖子能引起各位的足够重视,也希望有人能能针对不同的写作指导,制定新G的写作提纲。
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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-20 15:20:11 |显示全部楼层
chrishong119 发表于 2014-11-19 22:31
老师,我写的issue33的提纲
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1786253

33已经点评 请你抽空编辑一下帖子
7 我晚点再看

这个请你有空回答一下 站内信给我 O(∩_∩)O谢谢
寄托GRE考生背景调查

以前是否考过GRE作文,分数如何?托福作文?

下次考试日期? 考前还可以写多少道题的提纲和全文?  

期待的分数?

谈谈对1+3模型的看法。

觉得自己的issue和argument最大的问题分别是什么?

对于我的指导有何期待或要求?

对于我在版面针对其他同学的批改、指导有何意见?

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RE: GRE作文6分教学博客 [修改]
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