14年秋季提纲互改小组-Argument31 提纲及全文

chrishong119UID: 3412641

本帖来自"14年秋季GRE提纲+全文互改小组"，欢迎关注！你还可以查看更多小组、创建小组

31) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

chrishong119UID: 3412641

一、分析题目中的Argument，按照上面的范例，列出claim、data并解释连接claim和data的warrant。
(一)Claim: Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do      
(二)Data或evidence:
(1)Parson has a higher budgetary priority to public education than that of Blue.
(2)as a proportion overall tax revenues, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has—even though both cities have about the same number of residents.

（三）Warrant:
1. a higher budget for public school: 也许是因为：Parson经济水平高，教师工资高，基础服务价格高；Parson的学校是最近才建的，还需更多建筑及基础设施建设。
2. a higher budget from city government in Parson：社会捐助在Blue更多；
     both cities have about the same number of residents: 学生数量不一定多，也许Blue的学生少，且比起Parson，Blue的学生去私立学校的更多。
3. as a proportion overall tax revenues, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has：也许，Blue的总税收更多些，这样子，Blue投入公共学校的钱不一定比Parson少


二、根据题目的要求列出提纲以及描述要讨论的主要内容:
思路：投入钱多也许是因为消费水平高；投入钱多并不表示学校的总经费多：有别的社会捐助，且学生数量可能不一样;投入占税收总额百分比是两倍，但也许是因为其总的税收就比较少。
提纲：
TS
If the recommendation is to be accepted, more evidences needed to prove that economical level in Parson City is below twice higher than in Blue City and no more school constructions are needed in Parson, and social donations to public schools are not much higher in Blue City. The author also need to prove that the number of students in public schools in Parson is not higher than in Blue, and the de facto budget for public schools, especially the per capital budget for students, in Parson City is really higher than in Blue City.
ts1
First of all, does the fact of Parson City spend much money than Blue City on public schools significantly indicates that education in public schools are more cared about in Parson City than Blue City? Absolutely not. 因为可能Parson的经济水平高，教师工资高，基础服务贵；Parson的学校是新建的，还需建筑工程及基础设施建设。

ts2
Besides, the fact that Parson City government spend more money in public schools accomplishes nothing toward bolstering that the whole schools budgets in Parson City are much higher than that in Blue City, not mention that the per capital budget for students is higher in Parson City than in Blue City.Blue的社会捐款可能更多，而且，居民一样多并不代表学生一样多，也许Blue的学生更少，且Blue的学生去私立学校的比起Parson的要更多些。

ts3
Finally, the fact that Parson City has spent almost twice, according to their proportions of their own overall tax revenues, as much per year as Blue City in public schools does not indicate that Parson City has a higher budget in public school than Blue City does. 也许Parson的总税收并不高于Blue，也许Blue的总税收是Parson的两倍，或是更多

chrishong119UID: 3412641

    The author recommends that Parson City residents place a high value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents according to the fact that Parson city has a higher budget for public schools compared with that of Blue City. Well, I find this argument is problematic in several fields.
    First of all, does the fact of Parson City spend much money than Blue City on public schools significantly indicates that education in public schools are more cared about in Parson City than Blue City? Absolutely not. I need clear and strong evidences to prove that the economical level in Parson City is not higher than that of Blue City, the wages of teachers, which are the critical souls of education in schools, are not higher in Parson City, and when are compared with Blue City, the materails for the class and other school amenities in Parson city won`t cost more. Besides, I also need evidences to prove that schools in Parson are not recently built so that they won`t need much more money to proceed basic constructions and service amenities etc.  If clear evidences show that the economical level in Parson City is much higher than in Blue City, may be is above twice higher, and clear evidences prove that most schools in Parson are built recently thus are in need of more constructions, then, the author`s conclusion would be strongly weakened. Thus, I can not accept with that recommendation before those issues are addressed.
    Besides, the fact that Parson City government spend more money in public schools accomplishes nothing toward bolstering that the whole schools budgets in Parson City are much higher than that in Blue City, not mention that the per capital budget for students is higher in Parson City than in Blue City. I need clear evidences to prove that social donations to public schools are not much higher in Blue City, other kinds of money flowing included, such as trans-stational cooperation projects etc. If, much more donations come from people in various social corners in Blue City, and those donations are much higher than that of Parson City, which may receive very little social donations, then, the author can not reach such a conclusion. I also need strong evidences to prove that the number of students who attending public schools in Parson, even though both cities have about the same number of residents, are not higher than that in Blue City. If the whole number of students in Parson is much higher than that in Blue, and more students attend private schools in Blue than in Parson, then public school students in Parson would dramatically outnumber that in Blue, leaves less per capital budget for students in Parson City. Thus, would further undermine the author`s conclusion. As far as more clear evidences are yet provided to clarify those issues, the recommendation would remain dubious at best.
    Finally, the fact that Parson City has spent almost twice, according to their proportions of their own overall tax revenues, as much per year as Blue City in public schools does not indicate that Parson City has a higher budget in public school than Blue City does. I need evidences to prove that the overall tax revenues in both cities are just the same, or at least to prove that the overall tax revenues in Blue City is not higher or is not above twice higher than that of in Parson City. How about if the overall tax revenue in Blue City is above twice higher than Parson City`s. Thus, this fact would certainly undermine the author`s recommendation. So, the author needs to provide strong evidences to address this issue to persuade me accept that conclusion.
    In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful evidences that render it unconvincing as it stands. To better bolster it, the author must provide strong and clear evidences--may be through a reliable local survey or study--to prove that economical level in Parson City is below twice higher than in Blue City and no more school constructions are needed in Parson, and social donations to public schools are not much higher in Blue City. The author also need to prove that the number of students in public schools in Parson is not higher than in Blue, and the de facto budget for public schools, especially the per capital budget for students, in Parson City is really higher than in Blue City.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

chrishong119 发表于 2014-11-10 21:27
一、分析题目中的Argument，按照上面的范例，列出claim、data并解释连接claim和data的warrant。
(一)Clai ...

31) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public sch一、分析题目中的Argument，按照上面的范例，列出claim、data并解释连接claim和data的warrant。
(一)Claim: Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do      
(二)Data或evidence:
(1)Parson has a higher budgetary priority to public education than that of Blue.
(2)as a proportion overall tax revenues, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has—even though both cities have about the same number of residents.

（三）Warrant:
1. a higher budget for public school: 也许是因为：Parson经济水平高，教师工资高，基础服务价格高；Parson的学校是最近才建的，还需更多建筑及基础设施建设。
2. a higher budget from city government in Parson：社会捐助在Blue更多；
     both cities have about the same number of residents: 学生数量不一定多，也许Blue的学生少，且比起Parson，Blue的学生去私立学校的更多。
3. as a proportion overall tax revenues, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has：也许，Blue的总税收更多些，这样子，Blue投入公共学校的钱不一定比Parson少


二、根据题目的要求列出提纲以及描述要讨论的主要内容:
思路：投入钱多也许是因为消费水平高；投入钱多并不表示学校的总经费多：有别的社会捐助，且学生数量可能不一样;投入占税收总额百分比是两倍，但也许是因为其总的税收就比较少。
提纲：
TS
If the recommendation is to be accepted, more evidences needed to prove that economical level in Parson City is below twice higher than in Blue City and no more school constructions are needed in Parson, and social donations to public schools are not much higher in Blue City. The author also need to prove that the number of students in public schools in Parson is not higher than in Blue, and the de facto budget for public schools, especially the per capital budget for students, in Parson City is really higher than in Blue City.

不太建议在第一段讲太多具体的问题
第一段一般只需要概述一下argument的结论和证据 然后指出需要哪几方面的证据就行了
而且这道题根本就没有recommendation 不明白你开头第一句在说什么



ts1
First of all, does the fact of Parson City spend much money than Blue City on public schools significantly indicates that education in public schools are more cared about in Parson City than Blue City? Absolutely not. 因为可能Parson的经济水平高，教师工资高，基础服务贵；Parson的学校是新建的，还需建筑工程及基础设施建设。

你对argument这种题型的理解还是有问题
不是要你攻击 而是要你指出需要什么证据才能评估argument是否成立


ts2
Besides, the fact that Parson City government spend more money in public schools accomplishes nothing toward bolstering that the whole schools budgets in Parson City are much higher than that in Blue City, not mention that the per capital budget for students is higher in Parson City than in Blue City.Blue的社会捐款可能更多，而且，居民一样多并不代表学生一样多，也许Blue的学生更少，且Blue的学生去私立学校的比起Parson的 要更多些。

题目已经说得很清楚主要来源于政府 你再说捐款 我觉得不合适



ts3
Finally, the fact that Parson City has spent almost twice, according to their proportions of their own overall tax revenues, as much per year as Blue City in public schools does not indicate that Parson City has a higher budget in public school than Blue City does. 也许Parson的总税收并不高于Blue，也许Blue的总税收是Parson的两倍，或是更多ols—comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.


题目说了是absolute term也是两倍
both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools

我建议你根据我的意见修改大纲后再写全文 否则会比较浪费时间
这次回复有点晚 以后会更及时一些  

我在这里写了一个分析和提纲 你可以参考一下

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=7#pid1778981667

chrishong119UID: 3412641

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-13 01:57
31) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our reg ...

谢谢王老师的点评，我得多练提纲多思考了，谢谢王老师

ee_stoneUID: 3573213

31) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

开头段：
In the letter, by comparing the money spent on public schools, the editor claimed that residents in Parson City value good education more than those in Blue City. However, to better evaluate the soundness of the argument, we need to investigate some other evidence, such as the number of public schools and students, percentage of public schools' budget which comes from the government and the general living cost in both cities.

ts1
Firstly, rather than comparing the whole educational budget, we need the number of students and public schools in both cities to evaluate the government expense on each student or school, which better represents how much residents value the education in public schools.
首先，为了避免对比整体的教育开支，我们需要两个城市的学生和公立学校的数目，来评估政府对于每个学生或学校的开支，这个指标更能体现每个城市的居民如何评价公立教育的重要性。虽然两个城市的人口数量大致相当，但是年龄结构的差异很有可能导致适龄入学人口很大的不同。

ts2
Although majority expense of public schools is from government in both cities, we still need to investigate the exact percentage of government support and other sources of financial support, so that we can get the actual expense spent on public education.
尽管两个城市的公立教育开支主要都来自于政府，但我们仍然需要研究政府资助所占的确切比重以及公立学校其他的经济来源，从而了解公立教育的实际开销。实际上公立学校除了财政支持之外，学费收入，商业赞助以及校友捐赠都是学校财政不可或缺的部分。

ts3
The last major evidence which need to be investigated is the living cost in both cities. The salary of teachers, maintenance expense of school buildings and other expense can be proportional to the living cost in the city.
最后一个需要调查研究的是两个城市的生活成本。教师的工资，学校建筑的维护以及其他成本都应该和这个城市的生活成本成正比。人均教育开支在得克萨斯和纽约差距就非常大，但是由于得克萨斯的生活成本低廉，在相对较低的教育开支下，德州的教育质量也保持了较高的水平。而我们不能因为人均教育开支相对较低，就说德州居民不重视教育。