issue102 For better or worse, education is a process that i

zydUID: 100643

这篇issue是我花了3个小时的成果，字数300左右，明显不够，请个大虾指点，批评。谢谢


“For better or worse, education is a process that involves revising the ideas, beliefs, and values people held in the past.”

Every country has its own education system to let the knowledge handed down form one generation to another just like the argument: “for better or worse education is a process that involves revising the ideas beliefs and values people held in the past”
Form education, we can absorb various knowledge accumulated by people for thousands of years, form the appearance of human being when ours ancestors became human beings. They studied form struggling against the nature, and form their culture and knowledge .The only way to handed down them is education it is education that making the world progress swiftly by teaching people all kinds of knowledge , that mating the society stable and prosperous by coping with persistent social problem. Without education we can not read, write, the society will stop progressing and even degenerate without knowledge. Every government establishes its education system soundly, as they all realize the importance of education.
Thus, in the education process people will learn the ideas, beliefs and values people held in the past, some of which is a reflection of the contemporaneous custom, tradition, convention and surroundings of the nation and formed in their minds. The standard is different in diverse nation and different between dissimilar person. Like creature’s variety, the standard is diverse and variable, which will change in different times. Different standards will certainly cause different results, so it will present that two persons having the same education have great diverse points of view.
In sun, education is an important process for human beings, but dose not mean accept totally without deliberating. Out of education society will lack the energy to thrive, while without deliberating it may lose its right course.

paisleyUID: 64183

“For better or worse, education is a process that involves revising the ideas, beliefs, and values people held in the past.”

Every country has its own education system to let the knowledge handed down form one generation to another just like the argument: “for better or worse education is a process that involves revising the ideas beliefs and values people held in the past”

Form (错别字,from吧?)education, we can absorb various knowledge accumulated by people for thousands of years, form(这个呢?如果没错的话则语法上有错，不通顺了) the appearance of human being when ours(应该是our) ancestors became human beings(这句话不是很明确,our ancestor已经有”人”的含义,最好能明确说从猿猴进化为人类). They studied form(they studied form? 完全不明白) struggling against the nature, and form(时态应该一致,应该是formed) their culture and knowledge .The only way to handed(to后面应该跟动词原形) down them(正确的语序是hand them down) is education(这里应该有句号) it is education that making(应该是makes) the world progress swiftly by teaching people all kinds of knowledge , that mating(应该是mates,而且mate一词用在这里不太恰当,是make吧?) the society stable and prosperous by coping with persistent(persistent一般指人) social problem(应该有s,做复数). Without education we can not read,(逗号应该改为or) write,(这里应该是句号)the society will stop progressing and even degenerate without knowledge. Every government establishes its education system soundly, as they all realize the importance of education.

Thus, in the education process people will learn the ideas, beliefs and values people held in the past, some of which is(前面是some,这里怎么是is?) a reflection of the contemporaneous custom, tradition, convention and surroundings of the nation and formed in their minds(结构混乱.还是拆成两句话比较好). The standard(应用复数) is different in diverse(diverse有点强调个性,多姿多彩,用different更合适) nation(应该用复数) and different between dissimilar person(应该用复数). Like creature’s variety, the standard is diverse and variable, which will change in different times. Different standards will certainly cause different results, so it will present(这是什么意思呢?不如说，it is quite  possible ) that two persons having the same education have(have用的太多了，不如hold吧?) great diverse(这个词用的也太多了，换个如何) points of view.

In sun(应该是sum), education is an important process for human beings, but dose not mean accept totally without deliberating(后半句有严重的语法错误). Out of(应该说without) education (应该加个a) society will lack the energy to thrive, while without deliberating it may lose its right course.


我觉得你的思路还不是很清楚。感觉对这个话题觉得无话可说。你是不是有这个困扰呢？第二段其实你讨论的完全是教育的重要性，第三段倒是和题目有些关系，可是逻辑性很差，有点东一棒子西一棒子，想到那里写到那里。

其实题目只要说的是，教育牵涉到观念、价值、信仰等的转变。那你很可以讨论而者的互相作用。到底是谁促进了谁，谁牵绊了谁。同时还可以对教育进行细分类，探讨不同的教育（比如，正式教育/非正式教育）对这些因素的作用。

你的例子还远远不够。在思维有阻碍的时候，具体例子是个好方法。

另外，你的语言还要加强，有一些比较明显的错误，写的太过随意了。

建议你多看看英语文章，最好是外国人写的那些。还有GRE作文范文也可以好好揣摩一下，看他们是怎么组织结构和语言的。

zydUID: 100643

谢谢。中间有些单词例如，sun--sum，Form (错别字,from吧?)是大字的错误，我先写在纸上的，叫我弟打上去的。文章写的不好，自己都不想再看，打完后，就直接贴上来了。不过，指出的问题值得我好好改正，谢谢。
过几天，在写一篇，希望嫩有所提高。