[综合备考指导] 【1006G】【习惯性GRE】--【备考日记】--方法+经验+毅力 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-1-17 09:15:14 |只看该作者

哈，我贴了篇新ISSUE69，欢迎狂拍哈~~多谢
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1051843-1-1.html
rodgood 发表于 2010-1-16 23:03

已拍！

TOPIC: ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
"Scientific research should be kept away from politics," President Obama said when he signed to lift the ban of embryonic stem cell research last year. It represents a definite point of view to scientific research that(红色部分换为àindicating that)
government should place few restrictions on it(表述欠准确：Obama一句话能表明government should or not?，不要用点盖面).
But(该转折词前后不能形成“转折关系”：政府不应该限制scientific research，下句为scientific development定义。更恰当的方法是先表明scientific development的restrictions，然后以从句或其它句多带来scientific development的“定义”，即后面两句话需要重新组织) scientific development, which focuses on the results of research and gets evidence into practice, is different. If development from research tends to be a danger to human beings, government is supposed to take actions to restrict it or even stop it.(本段虽然告诉rater将从两方面论述，但缺乏一T，以概括两方面致统一的层面。另外，全篇it用法泛滥，望克服)

Without restriction from government scientific research will develop faster and more comprehensively(TS过于单薄，不能有力地统领Firstly, secondly, and thirdly). Firstly, as the saying goes that interest is the best teacher, if scientists are free to choose a subject they are interested in and skilled at, inspirations could easily sparked(这个“结论”轻率，与事实吻合程度不够);(分号的作用是什么？) thus more effectible work(这是一个自创的用法？) and progress could be achieved(作者的思路为：兴趣à灵感à成就。从作者的表述来看，它们是一个充分关系，而实际上它们则为必要关系，望措辞严谨，推理缜密). Inversely(对该词这种用法表示怀疑), restriction would make scientists discouraged with a result of block to research(WHY and HOW?论证不充分！其实现在很多research还是政府部门的监管之下进行，为什么还是取得比较注目的成就？是否说明监管并不害？). Secondly, working in a country with few restrictions on scientific research is a good choice for scientists(语言组织顺序不当，重点few restrictions不突出àworking is a good choice这就是该句的主谓宾，请看看与文章主题有什么关系). One of the reasons why America can keep attractive to so(delete) many intellectuals is that it can provide them with good conditions and, most importantly, a relatively relaxed environment(=few restriction?，什么是“relatively relaxed environment”) for research(这一层原因developed不够!没有看出与TS有什么关系). Thirdly, scientific research is the basis of scientific development, which is a balance of all subjects and could(看看这个情态动词的用法) be likened as a rocket that takes satellite into orbit. It involves research of physics, chemistry, materials science and so on without any of which the rocket cannot be launched into sky(确实没有看懂这个比喻，更没有看懂与TS的关系). Therefore, few limitations are necessary for scientific research.(三个层面的原因均不能有效支持TS-- scientific research will develop faster and more comprehensively，因为前两个原因纠结于scientists本身，没有归位于scientific research，最后一个原因偏得更厉害—好像在说各学科平衡发展)
On the other hand, scientific development is much different from research, and government should(尽量避免以should 回答题目的should) play a role as a supervisor guiding the direction of scientific development and, if necessary, banning the development that may be antihuman or against to ethics. Based on the same results of scientific research, varieties of(various) developments could be born, which may be(delete) beneficial to people or probably will be a thread(X) to human beings, world peace, or against ethics. Take the topic of embryonic stem cell for example. With the same results and experiences from basic research, scientists could give an answer to the disease that afflicted former President Reagan in his last days, while others could clone another Hitler to wage the World War Three(请看看什么是clone。一个对世界有害的Hitler只是基因决定的吗？Cloned Hitler具备“may be antihuman or against to ethics”?). So government needs to take advantage of its power of enforcement to place restriction on it.( much different from research没有论述论证，本段论证偏移重心，而且偏移的论证推理不严密！)
In sum, because scientific research and development are two things with different characteristics and functions(全文并没有有效论述这个different XX and XX ), government should place different policies on them(前半句与后半句的困果关系不明朗). That is to say, to scientific research(“对…来说”的用法难道也是自创？), a relaxed environment with few restrictions needs to be provided, while to scientific development, guidance and strict limitations is necessary.

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[综合备考指导] 【1006G】【习惯性GRE】--【备考日记】--方法+经验+毅力 [复制链接]

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