来自济南新东方的满分作文解析

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以下是来自济南新东方可俊老师的博客中，IBT满分作文解析，觉得很不错，与大家分享。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4d70a7220100fapp.html

托福IBT写作不同于传统国内高考英语和四六级英语的写作考试部分，切忌按照传统作文思维方式备考！！！

    托福IBT写作考试中的独立写作是相对比较容易得满分的部分，应该成为中国考生的加分题型，按照ETS的评分标准，独立写作的要求可以浓缩成三个词：细节，结构，语言。

    所谓细节，即写作论据能多具体就多具体，通常可以细分为两个方面：抽象的内容具体化，抽象的表达具体化。这一点中国考生做的最差，也最重要。

    所谓结构，并非传统思维中的“起承转合”或“总分总”。结构，即说话的顺序，ETS的问法不同，回答的方式即不同。IBT考试中，ETS对于题目的问法的方式相对固定，一般只有which one 和 agree or disagree两种方式，即对应至少两种回答结构。而中国考生往往习惯性的只有一种回答结构。另外，ETS还告诉我们结构要注意统一性，渐进性和连贯性。

    所谓语言，即词汇的地道表达，词汇的多样化和句式的多样化。当然，和传统国内英语考试不同的是，IBT的独立写作部分对于语言的要求并不是很大。哪怕通篇都用简单词汇和基本句型，只要能够通过详细的例子有条理的论证题目，依然会得高分。

    在正式写作中，一般考生都会使用三段论的结构方式。三段论并非只是三个自然段，而是三个部分，即开头，论证和结尾部分。下面我来强调一下三部分中的注意事项并拿自己写的一篇作文进行解析。

A开头部分:
题目背景：要求（1）通过现象（2）引出话题
主题句：要求（1）暗示文章将来结构（亦可不放在首段，放在末段）
说明：题目背景是鸡肋，即重要又不重要。说不重要，因为题目背景并不是在论证题目，所以ETS并不以题目背景作为评分依据；说重要，因为如果考生在作文开始的第一段就用去近10分钟的时间却只写了50个单词，可以想象后面的论证部分只有20分时间，而字数却要近300字，文章很难得高分。所以，大家需要自己强化练习在3-5mins之内，题目背景写到60字左右。

B论证部分
第一句：要求（1）关键词和题目相同（2）概括此段大意（3）简单准确
第二句：解释第一句
第三句：解释第二句   论据展开方式：（1）why（2）what（3）how
第四句：解释第三句
… …

说明：论证比结论重要。ETS不会因为考试的结论而给出高分，而是看论证的是否详细有道理。任何一个论证段落的段首句都必须符合以上3个要求。如果文章想做到具体，我们希望能够层层展开，层层解释。从第二句之后的所有论证都是论据，论据的展开方式通常有三种，“why”即，为什么有上面的句子内容；“what”即，上面句子内容表现在哪些方面；“how”即，如何做才能满足上面句子内容。

C结尾部分：主题句：要求（1）清晰明确（2）概括文章结构。

范文：
122. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

In the past decades, most people just should be spontaneously satisfied with food, clothes, medical treatment and other the basic daily necessities rather than other recreational luxuries, since the undeveloped science and technology.（1） Today, as the gradually raised living standards, people have progressively been aware that they are no longer just satisfied with daily necessities. Therefore, there is a heated debate that whether people are never satisfied with what they have along as the further development of our society.
解析：
(1) 看完第一句，大家思考：按照作者的思路，第二句会写什么？

It’s undeniable that many people are not satisfied with what they have.（2） This phenomenon is often reflected in job and living satisfaction surveys, where often 70 or 80 percent of respondents would seldom be satisfied with their actual job and life situation. （3）The poor aspire more money, welfare and salary for the little better life, and the bourgeois seek fame, position and fortune for the luxurious and admirable surroundings, even if they have to be at the sacrifice of  their health, family and even other key treasure.（4） In some cases, the characteristic of human being that people is seldom to be satisfied with what we have can lure us into a world of deadly sin, at others time this can be viewed as a positive trait. （5）If human beings were always satisfied with what they have, we would still be living in the stone ages. （6）For never satisfied with the faint light of the candle, people invented the electric lamp that is beneficial for our more night activities obviously; for never satisfied with the slow speed of the cart, people originate the modern vehicle that makes much more commodities available to local market conveniently; for never satisfied with the traditional medical technology, people improve the modern medical facility that contributes to the longevity of human extensively.（7）
解析：
(2) 论证第一段段首句符合3个要求：1、关键词和题目相同；2、概括此段大意3、简单准确。
(3) 第二句解释第一句，论据方式为what。第一句告诉我们，的确有些人不会满足，第二句告诉我们他们不会满足于什么，现在的工作和生活状况。
(4) 第三句解释第二句，论据方式为why，告诉我们为什么人们不会满足于工作和生活现状，因为穷人追求更好一点的生活，而中产阶级追求令人羡慕的环境。
(5) 承上启下句，上面指出这种人的性格是不好的，下面该说好的一面了。
(6) 解释上一句，论据方式why，告诉我们为什么这种性格有的时候还是好的，因为使人民不再生活在石器时代。
(7) 解释上一句，论据方式what，举例说明哪些不满足使人民生活的更好。

However, not all the people are never satisfied with what they have.（8） Commonly, when people enjoy truly what they want to get, they are sincerely satisfied with it, such as job, health, love.（9） For example, for a conscientious teacher, he or she would rather be happy for the students’ remarkable achievement than the favorable teaching-conditions; for a recovered patient, it is not worthwhile to complete any work at the sacrifice of his or her health; for the plighted lovers, petty, comely, elegant and all of the beautiful words can not still enough to describe each other in his or her mind ever and forever.（10） Therefore, just as we can scarcely say that nothing is absolute in this world, nor can we argue that nobody would be satisfied with what they have.
解析：
(8) 论证第二段段首句符合3个要求：1、关键词和题目相同；2、概括此段大意3、简单准确。
(9) 解释第一句，论据方式how，告诉我们人们如何才能满足。
(10) 解释第二句，论据方式what，通过认真负责的老师对工作的满足，大病初愈的病人对健康的满足，海誓山盟的恋人对爱情的满足告诉我们人们是会满足的。

Judging from above evidence offered, I can hardly agree that people are never satisfied with what they have and they always want something more or something different. To some extent, it lends an impetus to the social l development that people are seldom satisfied with what they have. However, for an individual, it is meaningful  and imperative to become more comfortable and satisfied with the current position to make our lives more happier.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

好谢谢你啦 辛苦!

jjs1986UID: 2478040

好东西，下了看看

xueqiuUID: 2565725

这个范文看了下，真的是满分作文吗？