坚决二战搞定作文 不要大意的赐我双GOOD吧><

woshichensidaUID: 2623391

感觉就是例子说服力不强，观点到最后才给出，最后别人才知道你说的是什么

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

2.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.

Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that most people prefer to let other people make decisions for them. In my opinion, 【it is virtually that( many people )in order to avoid mistakes( to escape from )deciding by themselves, 头重脚轻了,小括号里的去掉怎么样】there are still many people take the responsibility to make decisions on them own opinion
In the first place, there is no denying that, along with the modern science and technology development(development of 赛先生的先生), there are many completely new things coming up to us everyday.学习了 At the same time, the number of problems which we have to solve also increases. In order to avoid making mistake, some people prefer to let others make decision for them, due to their lacking of relative experience.
Although many people let others replace themselves to make decisionS, there are also many people make up their own minds不合适， 改成take a decision relying on theri own怎么样. Let's take one of my best friends Allen, who is an international company CEO for example. It is well known that, almost all the companies spent这个搭配period不合适吧，toughly got through怎么样 a tough period during last two years, due to the whole world's economic depression(the global economic depression^^）, Allen's company had no way to avoid it. With the purpose of struggling to survive, this international company should take some effective measures to weather though this difficulty. However, two different opinions were brought forward, and the void between them was too big to bridge. Taking which measure became the extremely significant matter, which closely related to the company's feat. All the members put their eyes on Allen because the final resolution was decided by him. He combined with the current situation to consider which opinion's advantages outweigh than others. By the deeply comparing, he made ultimately a proper choice and helped the company to （help sb do）overcome the barrier.忽然发现，由于考场举例是用自己话编的，所以一着急极容易那些长难复杂句写错了 或者不符合语言规律。 建议举例用简洁明了的短句， 以更精准的用词和短语来弥补。 呵呵，其实这个例子我就看的挺晕的
From what I have mentioned above, although some people give the right of decision to others, there are also many people still trust themselves and made decision personally. What's more, as far as I am concerned, it is better for us to try to make decision by ourselves with asking other people's useful advice. This is not only the principle about self-responsibility, but also can help us to improve the personal ability.   (not only ...but also... 两边要平行结构。因为整句话谓语是is涅。楼主再嘟嘟，是不是不太顺)


哈哈，挺好的挺好的啦~ 没有我那片**喷血……  
不足
1 举例那块，上面写啦
2 正式文章中 's 尽量少出现啊  ，课上老师说的 。 尤其文中opinion更不能's   ，人才能's

这篇是挺不好写的 。语言慢慢已经挺好的了~ 继续加油。
ps  上午改错了 ，改成uranus 和 manggohaha的2片作文了  。吐血啊……  所以没有中午之前发上啦 。见谅啦~

刀小镜UID: 2618532

2.23 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.

Nowadays, many different things come up to us with the development of science and technology, which leads people have to deal with large amount of matters at a time. Some one holds the opinion that people only can do few things well due to this situation. Well, as for me, I disagree with this opinion as the following reasons.

In the first place, there is no denying that people are busy doing many different things in our modern society. Some people without the ability of arranging time properly will be puzzled by those different works and definitely cannot be competent to accomplish them well. On the contrast, people who can map out their time vey well and have the capacity to attend to do several things at once, they would do everything well no matter how much the tasks are. Let's take my friend Allen for example. Some days ago, he must take a driving course everyday due to the deadline, while he also should prepare for another extremely significant English exam. In order to practice driving without disturbing his English test preparation, Allen attempted to make a time table to arrange his time. Although he had to weather though a busy stage, finally, he not only got the driving license, but also achieved a high score in the English exam.

What’s more, according to a recent survey, people in growing numbers are beginning to complain the more pressure life with never endless work. However, the experts point out that, along with the development of modern society, it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it. Therefore, in order to process a favorable position in the job market or achieve much better opportunities, people have no way to escape the overload work but improving their ability to adapt the peace of society, such as time arrangement.

From what has been mentioned above, I am convinced that although there are many different works wait people to finish, it dose not mean people have no possibility to deal with them effectively and efficiently. Furthermore, with continually adapting themselves to the peace of our society, people will have enough capacity to cope this challenge.

mangohahaUID: 2758178

Nowadays, many different things come up to us with the development of science and technology, which leads people have to deal with large amount of matters at a time. Some one holds the opinion that people only can do few things well due to this situation. Well, as for me, I disagree with this opinion as the following reasons.
  H- k3 c1 J( E4 J) f
In the first place, there is no denying that people are busy doing many different things in our modern society. Some people without the ability of arranging time properly will be puzzled by those different works and definitely cannot be competent to accomplish them well. On the contrast, people who can map out their time vey well and have the capacity to attend to do several things at once, they would do everything well no matter how much the tasks are. Let's take my friend Allen for example. Some days ago, he must take a driving course everyday due to the deadline, while he also should prepare for another extremely significant English exam. In order to practice driving without disturbing his English test preparation, Allen attempted to make a time table to arrange his time. Although he had to weather though a busy stage, finally, he not only got the driving license, but also achieved a high score in the English exam.& m/ s/ \* d6 W

What’s more, according to a recent survey, people in growing numbers are beginning to complain the more pressure life with never endless work. However, the experts point out that, along with the development of modern society, it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it. Therefore, in order to process a favorable position in the job market or achieve much better opportunities, people have no way to escape the overload work but improving their ability to adapt the peace of society, such as time arrangement.

From what has been mentioned above, I am convinced that although there are many different works wait people to finish, it dose not mean people have no possibility to deal with them effectively and efficiently. Furthermore, with continually adapting themselves to the peace of our society, people will have enough capacity to cope this challenge.

四段的结构相对少见，不过姑娘的逻辑论证没有问题，整篇文章内容很紧凑，思路很清晰。
唯一的建议可能就是第二段加一点总结的话吧。。。第三段机上句话话，（前面说如此环境下同时承担大量工作是必须的能力，）后加上一点，能合理有效的处理好这些工作更是衡量一名好员工的标准。
个人愚见 语言方面不敢班门弄斧。。。 请见谅