进军美利坚 how_hq作文发帖

习惯留念UID: 2690749

Which place would you to travel, the own country or the foreign country? With different personal systems, people would maintain different opinions. Some (people) would believe that traveling (to)own country can bring more benefit. Nonetheless, some others would cast doubt down(omit down) to this view. As far as I am concerned, the merits of enjoying the exotic country would outweigh the ones(这里的ONES指代前面的MERITS OF ENJOYING BLALALA，是特指，在这里逻辑不通) of own place.

To begin with, enjoying the foreign country could bring people a completely new life style which is definitely good for the relaxation and development of personal characteristic. According to a approval analysis from CSSI (Chinese Society and Science Institution), the reverse environment could stir up people curious sense and entirely releasing mood which could totally eliminate the pressure from people daily life and stimulate the passion to explore the new world. Obviously, the unusual life of the exotic life could act as an improvable enzyme(酶？不太明白这比喻). For example, when people who have been living in a noisy and dirty city for a long, long time, they would be surprising and satisfied by Sweden's pure condition, serene environment and gorgeous sense, throwing away all the pressure and exploring into this（the） comfortable world.
What's more, from the exotic country can people experience different kinds of culture which could also improve the living level of people, since this mysterious culture could fill the blank of the single feeling of the world. For instance, when people immerse all into the society of the United State, observe the unlimited behavior of local people and inspect the Statue of Liberty, they can certainly realize how significant the culture of freedom are in the whole American. After that the conception of the liberty would root in people life which is hardy savored in the own country.
(这段的例子很不错。赞)

Admittedly, it is impossible to ignore the benefit from traveling own country. Clearly, making the journey would cost less money and time so people can spend the same strength（这个词应该不太妥当）to tour more resorts. Also, it is more convenient for the people to make their trip. （这里应该加个连词更好，FOR EXAMPLE？）People could fully exploited（现在时） their weekend for wondering around their country
In conclusion, although traveling to own country holds many advantages, but the merits of the foreign country are far more than them, since the extreme lure of the mysterious life style and the new culture.
整篇文章结构没有问题。两个理由首句提炼上还应该增加点辨识度。感觉说的理由有点重复。但是后面的例子表明的道理又是不重复的。所以。最好前面提炼出更精确的观点。注意个别小词和语法问题。其他的都挺好的。

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

3.13
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.

What should the children get from the sports, the fun or the competition? This issue sparks a widespread debate in the society. Some people believe that the children should only enjoy the fun in sports. However, some others cast doubt down on this opinion. As far as I am concerned, children not only enjoy the fun from the sports but also treat them as a meaningful competition since from this competition could the children can experience the cooperation and the struggling spirit.

Admittedly, sports are the best ways for children to relax themselves and enjoy the fun. Like the football game, if thinking it as a toy game, children could just indulgently kick this funny ball back and forth and don't care what the rule restrains and how they lose the score. There is no more than the sport can possess this unbridled entitlement.

Nevertheless, from the sports could child not only savor the entertainment but also can get more if regarding them as a competition. These contesting sports can bring about the cooperation for the children. When seriously considering the sports as a fighting, children should plan their strategy and organize the team which need all the teammates cooperate to construct a powerful defendant. From this moment, children could really realize how the cooperation play the significant role in a game. Kobe Bryant, a most brilliant basketball player, is the typical example. he once said that the most treasure he obtained from the basket competition is not how many scores he got and how much honor he received but the experience of the cooperation with his companions. from this famous player story can we profoundly realize the critical state of the cooperation. Only treating the sport as a competition could the children procure this crucial quality.

What is more, taking the sports as a contest could let the children cultivate the spirit of how to overcome the difficulty and how struggle for win. When children realize the sport is not a game but a war, they would make their best to deal with the failing situation they meet and catch up with their competitor which can truly stimulate the fighting spirit. Take my experience for example. When I am a child, I always treated the basketball game as a really war from which I learned about how to rightly meet my bad condition, how to in time adjust my sense and how to struggle for the win. These experiences from the sport give me more inspiration for my further study and work which can not be acquired just from the fun sports.

In conclusion, in order to make the sport meaningful, Children should not only the the sport just from entertainment but also for a real competition because this competition can teach you the cooperation and the spirit of win.

holyiriniUID: 2741598

亲的作文我改好咯~以下仅是我个人观点啦~有什么问题再讨论哈~

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones have had more positive effects on human kind than televisions.

Which is more effective on the human being, the telephone or the television? Some people believe that the telephone impact the society more than the television, however, some others cast doubt on this opinion. As far as I am concerned, considerable though advantages that the telephone enjoys are, the merits of the television far outweigh the ones of the telephone, which can be profoundly demonstrated as follow.

To begin with, the television can bring about the relaxation for the human being. when people finish their all day work, they must be suffer from the the whole day hard work and pressure from the manager. In this case, the television is the most effective tool to releases their tire heart, cleans away their troublesome and carry them into a comfort new world since from the television people can completely enjoy what they want would which is the best way to procure the relaxation. Take my experience for example, after drilling into the preparation of the Tofel examination all day long, I have run out of my energy and felt extremely tire. Nevertheless, it is the television that let me entirely eliminate the tiredness and completely recover the strength because I can totally appreciate my favorite program "the friends". Therefore, from watching the favorite television can people acquire more relaxation.

What is more, from the television people could clearly know about their surrounding and their society. It is well-know that the television is fraught with all kind of news and information which cover from the living tips to the country matter. Undoubtedly, if the eye is the people window, then the television is the window of the world. Television is so significant to act as the messager which in time conveys the newest new for people that more and more company and institution take more serious consideration with it. The Chinese Government is the typical example. In order to let the civilian to know more about how the government serve themselves, today the government often open their schedule, claim their country policy and indicate their principle of the social development to the television which acquire a large amount of praise from the people. Therefore, the television plays the crucial role in convey the information for the people.

Admittedly, it is impossible to neglect the effect of the telephone. It is due to the emergence of telephone, the communication of the society become more and more convenient. the manager of IBM corporation need not spend a lot of time and money to travel from the United State and the China back and forth for the business because there is a functional telephone which can help him to hold the commercial meeting wherever he is in and whatever time he stay.

In conclusion, although the telephone bring the convenience for people, the television indeed impact more effectively than the telephone since from the television people can get more relaxation and information.

holyiriniUID: 2741598

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones have had more positive effects on human kind than televisions./ @/ c: g& X& {  N4 G+ m( r) k' e# ~- {* s0 I" w* k
Which is more effective on the human being, the telephone or the television? Some people believe that the telephone impact（influence就好了。Impact感觉有会毁坏的影响。） the society more than the television, however, some others cast doubt on this opinion（？the contrary opinion?）. As far as I am concerned, considerable though(主语？谓语？这句没看懂。) advantages that the telephone enjoys are, the merits of the television far outweigh the ones of the telephone, which can be profoundly demonstrated as followed.

: s$ I+ H5 j$ TTo begin with, the television can bring about the relaxation for the human being. When people finish their all day work, they must be suffering from（这次用的优点严重。可以用endure。） the whole day hard work and pressure from the manager. In this case, the television is the most effective tool to release（s删。这些笔误我以后就直接改了哈。） their tire（tired or weary）
hearts, cleans(clean 是to后面的动词吧，跟release一样。) away（up） their troublesome and carry them into a comfort（comfortable）
new(可删) world（environment，前面就不要a了）
【since from the television people can completely enjoy what they want would which is the best way to procure the relaxation】（状语从句可省吧。）（这句话MS过分长了，看的我累死了。有长句，但也不要太长，长了难免会错。对吧？再研究下吧：P）. Take my experience for example, after drilling into（不知道这样用可不可以。用involve肯定没错。） the preparation of the Toefl examination all day long, I have run out of my energy and felt（时态问题，单复数问题要注意啊。） extremely tired. Nevertheless, it is the television that let me entirely eliminate the tiredness and completely recover the strength (recover from the depressed condition? that will be better?!你这个表达优点chinglish的嫌疑啊。) because I can totally appreciate my favorite program "the friends". Therefore, from watching the favorite television can(倒装的话，句子前面是不是该加个ONLY。不过这样又会不会太绝对了？不要倒装吧。) people acquire（可用obtain。感觉词语搭配上还要注意一下。有的不太顺。） more relaxation.% E$ o: e& [) o) H

2 V& x* t, W. u- Q5 }" ~What is more, from the television people could clearly know about their surrounding and their society. It is well-know that the television is fraught（这个词没用过。可以用用看inundated） with all kinds of news and information which cover from（删）
the living tips to the country matter（这里应该可以用current affairs了吧。）. Undoubtedly, if the eye is the people window（这句表达不对。是想说“眼睛是心灵的窗户吧？”。我觉得应该是“eyesight opens a window to our heart.”自己翻的，参考一下，不一定对啊。囧。）, then（删） the television is the window（世界的窗户的意思？不能直翻的，英文的意思貌似就不太对。可以说eyewitness） of the world. Television is so significant to act as the messager which in time conveys the newest news（可以用up-to-date or up-to-the-minute代替重复的newest） for people that more and more company and institution take more serious consideration with it（可以用pay attention to or attach importance to..）. The Chinese Government is the（a –关于the 的用法也要注意了。） typical example. In order to let the civilian（citizens?!） to know more about how the government serve themselves, today the government often open their schedule, claim their country policy and indicate their principle of the social development to the television which acquire a large amount of praise from the people（这句反正挺长的也挺Chinglish的，希望改改，改成make their accounts clear to the public 这种既简单意思又不会错的句子。）. Therefore, the television plays the crucial role in conveying the information for the people.8 b; U8 [- p# G1 m2 v
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Admittedly, it is impossible to neglect the effect of the telephone. It is due to the emergence of telephone, the communication of the society become more and more convenient. The manager of IBM corporation need not spend a lot of time and money to travel from the United State and the China back and forth for the business because there is a functional telephone which can help him to hold the commercial meeting wherever he is in and whatever time he stay." x" w/ X  [: N* j) ]( E/ A
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In conclusion, although the telephone bring the convenience for people, the television indeed impact more effectively than the telephone since from the television people can get more relaxation and information【不好意思啊，原来这下面两段改好的。结果保存的时候出了点问题就没有了。我凭记忆划几个出来。】

PS：童鞋的思路逻辑都是不错的，就是有一点，我刚从书上看到的，就是“一边倒”的文章，结尾就最好不用这种有让步的写法，最好是强调自己的观点。而且我觉得写让步段的时间还不如再举个理由和例子来证明电视的好处，要考虑一下三十分钟时间的限制。
在语言的组织和表达上还需加强啊。多写几篇应该就没问题了。^_^

另外我想说一下我那篇文章的观点：
总：电话的好处比电视多。
第一，电话是用于基本的交流需求的，电视是用于娱乐的。例子就是后面的，我们通常用电话增加与朋友同事亲人的感情什么的。
第二，电话在发展中功能越来越多，可以包含电视的功能。而（注意这里是对比和转折哦~）电视只是在增加人们的视觉享受上下功夫。所以从长远上讲，电视的功用比电话要小的多。例子就是3G phones和一些电视里增加屏幕尺寸像素什么的。
这样子，可以吗？：P
关于观点和例子方面可以再讨论下。

zhisnoopyUID: 2703722

Which is more effective on the human being, the telephone or the television? Some people believe that the telephone impact the society more than the television, however, some others cast doubt on this opinion. As far as I am concerned, considerable though advantages that the telephone enjoys are, the merits of the television far outweigh the ones of the telephone, which can be profoundly demonstrated as follow.
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To begin with, the television can bring about the relaxation for the human being. when people finish their all day work, they must be suffer from the the whole day hard work(working) and pressure from the manager. In this case, the television is the most effective tool to releases(release这个是跟在to后面的哦) their tire heart, cleans(clean) away their troublesome and carry them into a comfort new world since from the television people can completely enjoy what they want would （？）which is the best way to procure the relaxation. Take my experience for example, after drilling into the preparation of the Tofel（TOEFL，这个笔误了……） examination all day long, I have run out of my energy and felt extremely tire（tired）. Nevertheless, it is the television that let me entirely eliminate the tiredness and completely recover the strength because I can totally appreciate my favorite program "the friends". Therefore, from watching the favorite television can people acquire more relaxation.

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What is more, from the television people could clearly know about their surrounding and their society. It is well-know that the television is fraught with all kind of news and information which cover from（from去掉吧） the living tips to the country matter. Undoubtedly, if the eye is the people‘s window,（这句貌似表达有问题，但是也不知道怎么改了……） then the television is the window of the world. Television is so significant to act as the messager（好像搭配有点问题） which in time conveys the newest new for people that more and more company and institution take more serious considerations with it. The Chinese Government is the typical example. In order to let the civilian to know more about how the government serve themselves, today the government often open their schedule, claim their（our） country policy and indicate their principle of the social development to the television which acquire a large amount of praises（是可数的吧？） from the people. Therefore, the television plays the crucial role in convey the information for the people.

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Admittedly, it is impossible to neglect the effects of the telephone. It is due to the emergence of telephone, the communication of the society become more and more convenient. the manager of IBM corporation need not spend a lot of time and money to travel from the United State and（to） the China back and forth for the business because there is a functional telephone which can help him to hold the commercial meeting wherever he is in（in去掉呢） and whatever time he stay（这句也有问题吧）.( e% o( J' G  P9 T! R2 E
4 |) h4 K+ H) d% f1 A& v" z

In conclusion, although the telephone bring the conveniences for（to） people, the television indeed impact more effectively than the telephone since from the television people can get more relaxation and information.

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

3.17y
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.


Which life style is good for people life, living a city for a long life or moving to different places? Some people believe that stating in one place can bring more benefits. However, some others cast doubt on this opinion. As far as I am concerned, I agree that the style of moving is far more beneficial than keeping in one place alone.

To begin with, changing the living environment can provide people more opportunities for the personal development. It is well know that the new condition always contains new jobs, new friends and new living relationship which store all kinds of the changes for the people to adapt their characteristic and increase their experience. Actually, a different place seems like a different book, people could always acquire the valuable knowledge. Maybe the movie, "Sleepless in Seattle", can just reveal this living law. Sam, the leading actor in this film, was falling into a terrible depression since his boring job and the death of his wife not long before. If he staid into this situation for his life, he probably suffered his extremely upset to the end. Fortunately, he toke his friends opinion and carried his son to the new place, Seattle. In Seattle he not only obtains a better job but also meet his new wife. Therefore, the new living condition always can bring people the surprising and valuable thing.

What is more, living in a different environment, people can learn more about a new and different place which not only expends people horizon but also increases the life experience. Obviously, different place always holds different culture and custom which is the treasure for the people life. For instance, when you immigrates into the United State, the directly merit you can get is the improvement of the English skill. Also, from the traditional festival, Thanksgiving Day, you can indeed feel the how the family is so significant to the American life. From the Statue of the Liberty, you could realize how people in United State respect the freedom. All these new experiences can not deeply feel in your own city of the other country.

Admittedly, it is impossible to ignore the benefits of living in one city for all the life. Undoubtedly, it is quite stable to settle in a place all the time and people could not face the pressure from the change of the job, loss the relationship with their friends, and undertake the risk of the uncertain environment.

In conclusion, although staying in a place indeed offer so many virtues, the advantages of changing living place far outweigh the ones of staying at a one place since people can get the new development and the valuable experience.

pochun111UID: 2608867

Which life style is good for people life去掉 或people's life, living a city for a long life or moving to different places? Some people believe that stating   stayingin one place can bring more benefits. However, some others cast doubt on this opinion. As far as I am concerned, I agree that the style of moving is far more beneficial than keeping in one place alone.
To begin with, changing the living environment can provide people more opportunities for the personal development. It is well knownthat the new condition always contains new jobs, new friends and new living relationship , 这样指代前面一整句话which store all kinds of the changes for the people to adapt their characteristic and increase their experience 这两个their 指代的是同一样事物还是两样事物 感觉有歧义. Actually, a different place seems like a different book, people could always acquire the valuable knowledge. Maybe the movie, "Sleepless in Seattle", can just reveal this living law. Sam, the leading actor in this film, was falling into a terrible depression since his boring job and the death of his wife not  感觉不对 是不是isn't 代表一个省略that的从句 long before. If he staid into this situation for his life, he 加个wouldprobably suffered his extremely upset to the end. Fortunately, he toke  takes his friend’s opinion  suggestion and carried his son to the new place, Seattle. In Seattle he not only obtains a better job but also meets his new wife. Therefore, the new living condition always can bring people the surprising and valuable thing.
What is more, living in a different environment, people can learn more about a new and different place， which not only expends people horizon but also increases the life experience. Obviously, different place always holds different culture and custom which is the treasure for the people life. For instance, when you immigrates into the United State, the directly merit you can get is the improvement of the English skill. Also, from the traditional festival, Thanksgiving Day, you can indeed feel the去掉 how the family is so significant to the American life. From the Statue of the Liberty, you could realize how people in United State respect the freedom. All these new experiences can not deeply feel in your own city of the other country 移到前面 experience 后

Admittedly, it is impossible to ignore the benefits of living in one city for all the life. Undoubtedly, it is quite stable to settle in a place all the time and people could not face the pressure from  of the change of the job, loss the relationship with their friends, and undertake the risk of the uncertain environment.
In conclusion, although staying in a place indeed offer so many virtues, the advantages of changing living place isfar outweight the ones of staying at a去掉 one place since people can get the new development and the valuable experience.
例子很不错 很有说服 但个别语句不太好 都标记了 整体来讲很不错 加油啊 还有 不好意思 改晚了

summeralwaysUID: 2704210

Which life style is good for people (people's)life, living a city for a long life or moving to different places? Some people believe that stating in [/color](staying at)one place can bring more benefits. However, some others cast doubt on this opinion. As far as I am concerned, I agree that the style of moving is far more beneficial than keeping in one place alone. 9 O# \. S1 L7 l
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To begin with, changing the living environment can provide people more opportunities for the personal development. It is well know that the new condition always contains(用prodive you怎么样？感觉这个contain不太合适) new jobs, new friends and new living relationship （加个,)which store all kinds of the changes for the people to adapt their characteristic（是个adj,换成character如何？） and increase their experience（是经历的话，加S）. Actually, a different place seems like a different book, people could always acquire the valuable knowledge（加个from it，不知道这样加对不对，但没有的话我总感觉缺点什么，好像这两句话的关联性不大）  . Maybe the movie, "Sleepless in Seattle", can just reveal this living law. Sam, the leading actor in this film, was falling into a terrible depression since （改成because of /due to ,since后面应该是个句子)his boring job and the death of his wife not long before. If he (was) staid into this situation for his life, he probably suffered his extremely upset to the end. Fortunately, he toke(took) his friends opinion and carried(took比较合适，如果和前面重复的话，前面用accept his friends' advice) his son to the new place, Seattle. In Seattle he not only obtains(过去时） a better job but also meet（过去） his new wife. Therefore, the new living condition always can bring people the surprising and valuable thing.
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! J* p' u' l4 l/ o) M, Z# w: BWhat is more, （By）living in a different environment, people can learn more about a new and different place which not only expends people horizon but also increases the life experience（s,理由和前面一样）. Obviously, different place always holds different culture and custom which is the treasure for the people life. For instance, when you immigrates（去掉s) into the United State, the directly (去掉ly)merit you can get is the improvement of the English skill. Also, from the traditional festival, Thanksgiving Day, you can indeed feel the(去掉） how the （去掉）family is so significant to the American（'s) life. From the Statue of the Liberty, you could realize how people in United State respect the freedom. All these new experiences can not deeply feel in your own city of the other country.
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Admittedly, it is impossible to ignore the benefits of living in one city for all the(去掉the） life. Undoubtedly, it is quite stable to settle in a place all the time and people could not face the pressure from the change of the job, loss the relationship with their friends, and undertake the risk of the uncertain environment./ Z. S  h1 ?$ D/ \: s# p- p2 i

; @: X/ S; F; \" ^# f/ s% W( [; EIn conclusion, although staying in a place indeed offer so many virtues, the advantages of changing living place far outweigh（t) the ones of staying at a one place since people can get the new development and the valuable experience
要注意名词单复数，还有第三人称单数的形式，时态也是哦。不好意思，改晚了。。

summeralwaysUID: 2704210

sorry ,怎么成了满篇的红色了。。:O

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

3.21 （08.03.01NA）
To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past.

Is it necessary to understand the past to solve problems present and future? With different personal system, people would hold different opinions. Some people would believe that it would waste a lot of time to review the history. Nevertheless, some other cast doubt down to this idea. As far as I am concerned, knowing more about our past would help resolve our problems which would be profoundly demonstrated as following.

To begin with, viewing the past events can let people learn more experience. It is well known that there have a large number events we have underwent in which always exists the some right decision to solve our puzzle and the failure things we have meets, These successful or failed events are the treasure for our development since we could absorb the past success and be admonished from the wrong direction. Maybe reviewing the "Schindler's List", which really depict the past of the World War One, is a typical example. When understanding this terrible history, we can profoundly realize how horrible the behavior of Hitler who insisted on the racism and slaughtered hundreds of thousands of Jew. From this sad history could we admonish and clean away the racism in our mind. Therefore, learning from the past is beneficial for us to learn the experience to avoid the detours and overcome our problem.

What's more, the past things also play a significant role for us to explore the principle of thing's development. Undoubtedly, the development of everything always follows some specific law, so from the phenomenon of the past history could we easily analyze the truth hiding in these event and grape the right direction of the future things, which could provide us the real judgment, adjust the comprehension of the problem and let us make the right decision. For example, Edison had finally devised the light after he made thousands of the try. It is just through thousands of the analysis and summaries of the failure in the past that Edison could solve the problems in the experiment and find the correct methods to invent the light.

Finally, if people ignore the past, they would become more and more blind and even fall into the arrogance. History has filled with these miserable examples. The termination of the Qing Dynasty could vividly reveal this fault. It is since the neglect of former dynasty lesson, the Qing Dynasty also ran into the horrible autocracy. To cover the culpability of oppressing the people, the king of Qing also burned almost all the history books and murdered plenty of the historians. The ignorance of the history let him become arrogant and also let him go to end not long.

In conclusion, it is necessary for people to understand the past to solve the problem since the history of the past could provide people the experience and the principle of thing's development and prevent from the arrogance.

yuyan890619UID: 2602299

To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past.6 u- I4 j3 z5 ^% S+ F5 j( d
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Is it necessary to understand the past to solve problems present and future? With different personal system, people would hold different opinions. Some people would believe that it would waste a lot of time to review the history. Nevertheless, some other cast doubt down to this idea. As far as I am concerned, knowing more about our past would help resolve our problems which would be profoundly demonstrated as （the)following(followings)（开头有点模板化）.# [) J' _7 l  K0 C7 ?/ }  m$ w

To begin with, viewing the past events can let people learn more experience（experiences）. It is well known that there have a large number events we have underwent in which always exists the some right decision to solve our puzzle and the failure things we have meets, These successful or failed events are the treasure for our development since we could absorb the past success and be admonished from the wrong direction. Maybe reviewing the "Schindler's List", which really depict the past of the World War One, is a typical example. When understanding this terrible history, we can profoundly realize how horrible the behavior of Hitler who insisted on the racism and slaughtered hundreds of thousands of Jew. From this sad history could we admonish and clean away the racism in our mind. Therefore, learning from the past is beneficial for us to learn the experience to avoid the detours and overcome our problem（论证的很好啊）.7 C5 \4 D5 Q# `. l4 O
What's more, the past things also play a significant role for us to explore the principle of thing's development. Undoubtedly, the development of everything always follows some specific law, so from the phenomenon of the past history could we easily analyze the truth hiding in these event and grape the right direction of the future things, which could provide us the real judgment, adjust the comprehension of the problem and let us make the right decision. For example, Edison had finally devised （这个词不合适）the light（是灯泡， bulb） after he made thousands of the try. It is just through thousands of the analysis and summaries of the failure in the past that Edison could solve the problems in the experiment and find the correct methods to invent the light.3 L0 c/ e7 G1 h
/ i6 D5 U1 i# X2 {+ Y. D& B; I% N; g
Finally, if people ignore the past, they would become more and more blind and even fall into the arrogance. History has filled with these miserable examples. The termination of the Qing Dynasty could vividly reveal this fault. It is since the neglect of former dynasty lesson, the Qing Dynasty also ran into the horrible autocracy. To cover the culpability of oppressing the people, the king of Qing also burned almost all the history books and murdered plenty of the historians. The ignorance of the history let him become arrogant and also let him go to end（Chinglish，用die就可以啦） not long.

In conclusion, it is necessary for people to understand the past to solve the problem since the history of the past could provide people the experience and the principle of thing's development and prevent from the arrogance.

文章写得蛮好的，思路满清晰的，例子也很好~赞呐
不过童鞋要注意一下用词，还有个人觉得文章短句还比较多，有些有关联的短句可以合成一个稍长的句子
加油~

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

3.22 （08.10.27NA）
Government should pay more attention to health care issues than on environment issues.

Which should be paid more attention for the government? the health care issue or the environment issue? With different personal systems, people would keep different opinions. Some people believe that the health care problem is more critical than the environment's. However, some other would cast doubt down this idea. As far as I am concerned, the environment problem should be taken more into consideration.

To begin with, the environment is the basic factor for all the other things. As is well known that the environment provide people all kinds of development resource, such as the living condition, the power resource and so on. So without the environment supporting, people just like keep in the infinite ocean without the boat. The damage of the environment would terribly restrain the healthy develop of the whole society. Maybe Hawaii is the typical example. Since people abuse the resource of the environment, blindly throw up the harmful thing into the air, and doesn't care the health of the environment. The global warming is destroying the whole human being condition, especially for the island place in which the ocean is increasingly covering. If Hawaii doesn't care the exaggeration of the environment problem, is it the necessary for Hawaii to develop other facilities? If this terrible air problem keeps going, maybe someday the whole Hawaii would be eaten by the ocean. Therefore, if want to develop other healthy program, people firstly should consider whether their environment is in the problem.

What is more, the environment could also improve the health care. It is no doubt that the good environment could offer people the quiet condition, the fresh air and the comfortable atmosphere which is not only good for the people physical health due to the benefit of the body but also for the psychological health because there is no noisy and crowded to disturb people.
This is why the houses near by the park are always more expensive than the terrible condition place, since people could enjoy the goodness which the nice living condition brings about. Thus, the good environment is significant factor for the health care.

Admittedly, it is impossible to ignore the problem of the health care. Today more and more people suffer from the physical health since there is little place for the people sports. Also, people suffer from the psychological problem more than before due to the great pressure from the competitive society. Consequently, when people pay more attention on the environment issue they should also care about the health problem.

In conclusion, the environment issue is more crucial than the health problem since the environment is the basic necessary and the good one could improve the health care. However, this doesn't mean that we just only devote all the fund and energy to the environmental improvement. We should take some consideration for the health care.

john_332UID: 2741978

3-21 作文修改  by  舜


3.21 （08.03.01NA）   
To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past.

Is it necessary to understand the past to solve problems present and future? With different personal system(好像没有看过这种表达哦), people would hold different opinions. (我觉得就直接用the answer varies accroding to different person )Some people would believe that it would waste a lot of time to review the history. Nevertheless, some other cast doubt down to this idea. As far as I am concerned, knowing more about our past would help resolve our problems which would be profoundly demonstrated as following.

To begin with, viewing the past events can let people learn more experience. It is well known that there have(are) a large number (of)events we have underwent in which always exists the some right decision(加s)to solve our puzzle and the failure things(things就不用了) we have meets, (这个句子太长了)These successful or failed events are the treasure for our development since we could absorb the past success and be admonished from the wrong direction. Maybe reviewing the "Schindler's List", which really depict the past of the World War One, is a typical example. When understanding this terrible history, we can profoundly(profoundly用在这里不合适，indepth realization on) realize how horrible the behavior of Hitler who insisted on the racism and slaughtered hundreds of thousands of Jew. From this sad history could we admonish and clean away the racism in our mind. Therefore, learning from the past is beneficial for us to learn the experience to avoid the detours and overcome our problem.

What's more, the past things also play a significant (这个高级词汇好久没用了 ) role for us to explore the principle of thing's development. Undoubtedly, the development of everything always follows some specific law, so from the phenomenon of the past history could we easily analyze the truth hiding in these event(加s) and grape(葡萄？) the right direction of the future things(怎么喜欢在后面加things ?), which could provide us the real judgment, adjust the comprehension of the problem and let us make the right decision. (感觉前面几句写得比较纠结，艰深难懂)For example, Edison had finally devised the light after he made thousands (接trails or experiments就行了)of the try. It is just through thousands of the analysis and summaries of the failure in the past that Edison could solve the problems in the experiment and find the correct methods to invent the light.(bulb ?)

Finally, if people ignore the past, they would become more and more blind and even fall into the arrogance. History has filled with these miserable examples. The termination of the Qing Dynasty could vividly reveal this fault. It is since the neglect of former dynasty lesson, the Qing Dynasty also ran into the horrible autocracy(词汇很丰富). To cover the culpability of oppressing the people, the king of Qing also burned almost all the history books and murdered plenty of the historians. The ignorance of the history let him become arrogant and also let him go to end not long.
好像没有和solve probem结合起来

In conclusion, it is necessary for people to understand the past to solve the problem since the history of the past could provide people the experience and the principle of thing's development and prevent from the arrogance.(prevent from the arrogance 可以不用加进来了，因为off the topic)

   文章的句式结构比较丰富，很多词汇，短语的用法比较先进，有很多值得学习的地方。
   思路也比较清晰，若是能在表达上再简练，精辟点就好了，很多地方句子太长，难理解，也显得不地道。