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发表于 2010-3-31 21:12:37 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 crazylu 于 2010-4-1 12:37 编辑

3.31

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发表于 2010-3-31 21:59:37 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 crazylu 于 2010-4-2 08:32 编辑

3.31 (07.11.11)
Advertisements make products seem better than they are.

改到word里发给我word就行了,thx

广告美化.doc

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广告美化.doc

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发表于 2010-4-2 13:52:36 |只看该作者
3.31作文修改

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发表于 2010-4-2 15:28:57 |只看该作者
3.30 修改 by speedzshaw

3.30 by crazylu.rar

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Free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying.

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发表于 2010-4-2 18:34:52 |只看该作者
Advertisements make products seem better than they are.


With the development of our country, great changes have been brought to human's(people更合适点) daily and single life. 30 years ago, when people had a chance to see an advertisement, they would stay for a minute to look at this advertisement carefully for the reason that it was hard for them to see an advertisement. Different from them, nowadays, advertisements are full of(改成can be seenevery side of our life. Some may argue that the products in the advertisements are the same as them in the real life. However, contrast to their thoughts is I claim products in the advertisements seem better than they are. There are a couple of reasons to name it.
(我觉得在第一段就提出分论点比较好 这样逻辑段落会更清晰 得高分的可能性也更大)

First and foremost, the purpose of the advertisements is promoting people to buy the products. For this season, maybe the makers of the advertisements only show us some advantages of these products but neglect itstheir disadvantages. For example, there is a trend in China that every woman wants to get thin(改成become slim). Due to meeting the needs, plenty factories produce a kind of food which will(改成help lose weight. In the advertisements of this kind of food, we can always see that there are many fatfat这个词有点重 overweight比较好) women changed to thin(slim) women with the help of this food. They didn't need to do any sports and(改成or
have a rigid diet, without any efforts, the food can bring them an amazing change.
The food can bring them an amazing change without any efforts
As a result, multitude women trust these advertisements and buy these foods.
(一会儿是a kind of food 一会儿是these foods 有点混乱)Although many of them successfully reduce their heightweight after eating these foods, some bigger problems come to them. Some of them have serious illness, and some of them find it is hard for them to control their temper. It is obvious that we cannot see these side effects which are very harmful to people from the advisements. Hence, the products in the advertisements seem better than they are since they only have advantages.

The other reason I want to point out is most of people have the perspective that the products used by some famous people in the advertisements are much better than others.
In my view, I fundamentally disagree with this assertion. Firstly, we do not know whether these famous people use these products in their real lives. There is no doubt that they use these products in the advertisements since they can earn money most of times. Secondly, even if these famous people actually use them in their lives, we cannot conclude that the qualities of these products are better than others'. Most of time, these famous men are so busy that they do not care about the details of their lives. All in all, the products used by the famous people in the advertisements can give most people an unreasonable impress that they are better than others.

(这段的逻辑有点问题 似乎是在说明星做广告背后的真假 我觉得应该重点强调下明星代言是的广告中的产品似乎更有用/更好看 而现实中不是这样的)

In a brief, people cannot have an overall recognize to the products (that are) showed in the advertisements lead to the deceptive of the advertisements, as a result, products in the advertisements seem better than they are.


PS 我不知道怎么发附件额
请教一下 然后我再给你发一次word文档上来~

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发表于 2010-11-24 11:07:47 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 crazylu 于 2010-11-25 08:45 编辑

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