issue130 我的第一篇，跪求指教

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第一篇习作 字数只有400 感觉写的像四六级作文 但是不知道是哪里的问题 请高手指教 万分感谢

130. How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can bring about a better society.

The quotation is misleading us to believe that we can bring about a better society by socializing children in a right way. But it is wrong from the very beginning. Though, we should admit that socialization of children can benefit individuals.

The term “socialization” means making individuals adapt to society. It is true that socialized people do share a better chance of succeeding in career. When we look around, we can find that most of the successful people in our daily life are those who can adapt to the society. For instance, most of the successful business men are sophisticated; they understand how to deal with all kinds of problems in their society, and they are living a good life. This illustrates that if success is the only thing we want, we should get as socialized as we can.

However, success in career for individuals does not guarantee a better society. In fact, it is those who cannot be socialized comfortably will think critically about our society and try to improve it. Martin Luther King, Jr. is a representation of them. By pointing out that the US government had not fulfilled its promise to bring equality between black and white, he successfully leaded the African-American civil rights movement in the US. Later after his death, the society finally let the black share the same rights with the white. We cannot even image it if all black men forced themselves to adapt to the society, which was obviously uneven.

Further, over-socialization can be a destructive force to social progress. It is because, rather than fighting against unjust rules and laws, over socialized people usually choose to bear them, which will lead to an unchangeable situation. For example, during the World War II, many Jewish families undertook cruel principles from the Nazi government, hoping it would change someday. In the end, however, when they realized that Nazis would kill them all, it is too late to escape from the holocaust. Assume that the Jews took a positive attitude to their government, rather than bearing it, more Jews could escape.

To sum up, socialization can help individuals improve their living standard. But it cannot bring us a better society. In fact, over-socialization can prevent social progress.