issue15

jeffUID：117821

The stability of the society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.

Does the stability of the society depend primarily on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior? Or are there other factors also attributing to the stability of society? I agree insofar as that the stability of the society is responsible to the various efforts , which involve the response to extremes of human behavior as well as other factors such as education , situation of economy and the pressing society problems.

The statement brings immediately to the mind the issue of ever-growing serious of terrorism which impose a discord to the democratic world as a whole. How to respond to this kind of extreme of human behavior will have a influence to the stability of the democratic society as well as to the security of the society and the people. Especially after the case of september11, the states come to know the menace of terrorist to the stability of society and take urgent measures which involve the participation of all world  to counter terrorism for the ostensible purpose of maintaining the stability. Another appealing example is how to response to the crimination which is a extreme of human behavior and also the plague of all society acting as a threaten to the society stability. To resolve the problem ultimately depends on the advance of moral level of whole society which relates to the citizen quality of society.

The stability of society also has something to do with other factor, which is important as well for the survive and advance of a society, involving the education ,economy and so on. In my observation the turmoil of the society , such as all kinds of riots , revolutionary and civil war , are result of people’s  unsatisfaction to the society which result from unequal distribution of social wealth or the poor economical situation , which in turn lead to high unemployment rate . moreover, the poor economical situation naturally breeds various extremes of human behavior such as crimination ,as I mentioned above . the best approach to heal these social plague imperiling the stability of society is education. In today’s world which is motivated by the advance of science and technology , the education plays a significant role to facilitate the development of society as a whole in all aspects , especially in the fields of economy , that is , education is the primary motivation. What’s more important is the advances of science and technology empower we humans to fight with the pressing social problems including disease , hunger which endanger the survive of society and inevitable impose pandemonium in the society. one need look no further than the continent of china to see that how SARS impact the stability of society and to come out how significant role the biomedical technology play to combat with the unprecedented disease.

To sum up , the stability of society depends on various essences , involving how to deal with the crimination , how to develop the science and technology through the education, how to make efforts to resolve all kinds of social plague in the way of the science and technology.

paisleyUID：64183

The stability of the society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.

Does the stability of the society depend primarily on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior? Or are there other factors also attributing to the stability of society? I agree insofar as that the stability of the society is responsible to(这里用responsible不妥吧?一般指人的.另外介词应该用for) the various efforts（？？为什么是这个词呢?） , which involve(应加s) the response to extremes of human behavior as well as other factors such as education , situation of economy and the pressing society problems. 这一段你自己的立场摆得不够明确, 到底支持不支持原题目? 是,或不是? 要用清楚的来说. 不要用as well as这样含混的词句带过去.

The statement brings immediately to the mind the issue of ever-growing serious of terrorism which impose(少s) a discord to the democratic world as a whole. How to respond to this kind of extreme of human behavior will have a (应是an) influence to(应是on) the stability of the democratic society as well as to the security of the society and the people. Especially after the case of september11, the states come to know the menace of terrorist to the stability of society and take urgent measures which involve the participation of all world to counter terrorism for the ostensible purpose of maintaining the stability. Another appealing example is how to response to the crimination which is a extreme of human behavior and also the plague of all society acting as a threaten to the society stability. To resolve the problem ultimately depends on the advance of moral level of whole society which relates to the citizen quality of society. 我觉得你这段并没有回答题目。题目要求写的是一个社会是否稳定，取决于它如何应对极端情况。而你只是说，对，我们是应该好好地应对极端情况，不然就糟糕了。所以跑题了。没有针对他的问题来. 最后一句更加走远了。

The stability of society also has something to do with other factor(少s), which is important as well for the survive(应是survivial) and advance of a society, involving the education ,economy and so on. In my observation the turmoil of the society , such as all kinds of riots , revolutionary and civil war , are result of people’s unsatisfaction to the society which(这个which放在这里，好象是在指代society了。还是分开两句话说吧) result from unequal distribution of social wealth or the poor economical situation , which(这里又来一个which, 正句话读起来太累了) in turn lead to high unemployment rate . moreover, the poor economical(al应去掉) situation naturally breeds various extremes of human behavior such as crimination ,(这里应用句号) as I mentioned above . the best approach to heal these social plague imperiling the stability of society is education. In today’s world which is motivated by the advance of science and technology , the education plays a significant role to facilitate the development of society as a whole in all aspects , especially in the fields of economy , that is , education is the primary motivation. What’s more important is the advances of science and technology empower we humans to fight with the pressing social problems including disease , hunger which endanger the survive of society and inevitable impose pandemonium in the society. one need look no further than the continent of china to see that how SARS impact the stability of society and to come out how significant role the biomedical technology play to combat with the unprecedented disease.这段依然在跑题.你说一个社会稳定与否与其他因素有关,这是可以的。但是你应该围绕这个中心话题, 展开说，这些因素是如何影响社会稳定的. 如果缺失了，发作了，会如何如何。然后举例等等。你的后半段尤其跑题得厉害

To sum up , the stability of society depends on various essences(这个是精华要素的意思，还是用element或者factors比较好) , involving how to deal with the crimination , how to develop the science and technology through the education, how to make efforts to resolve all kinds of social plague in the way of the science and technology.
extreme of human behavior这个短语在文章中出现得过多，最好能换几个说法. 用语不重复是GRE作文比较讲究的.

你的语言还不错，表达意思很清楚。但是有一些不该犯的语法错误.

另外,你得好好注意一下紧扣中心的问题.你只是把跟题目擦点边的东西拿来大说特说，但是实际上没有按命题人的意思来写.

可能你以前没有来过我们的GRE作文论坛，强烈建议你看看精华区。相信你如果按照里面好文章的指引,自己多多练习的话，会有很大的进步

ken0405UID：124994

每一个不曾起舞的日子都是对生命的辜负
学习去了