Post June-writing-june

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

14# kaolaliang 谢谢修改，我也不知道怎么回事paste那么混乱:dizzy:其实我也觉得用词方面有些钻牛角了，，努力改正，多谢提醒~~

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

15# ilnlh 谢谢修改，其实我也发现这篇自己立论进入死角了，，逻辑混乱思维片面用词生涩~~OMG...

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

6.26: The best way to learn about a foreign country is by reading newspaper or magazines.

There are many ways to understand a foreign country. We can learn about the country by spending couples of days traveling there and communicating with native people, or through reading magazines and newspaper. Nevertheless, personally I prefer to learn about a foreign country by staying there for a period of time, rather than merely reading magazines and newspaper either from the country or introducing it.
First of all, reading second-hand information from magazines and newspaper tends to present people with partial and even distorted conception about the country. Articles in magazines and newspaper, no matter prons and cons, can be influenced greatly by the position of  the critics' view. Even photographs also implicit some prejudices. In tourist magazines, the marvelous shots are always artificial and magnify the beauty of the scenary.
In addition, by reading magazines and newspapers, people themselves are subject to make mistakes about the foreign country, since there is no way for reflection as well as to examine their views. In contrary, if we have the chance to visit and stay in the foreign country, through communicating with local residents, we can certainly re-examine our point of view of the country and update our perception and infomation concurrently. That will be a much better and efficient way to understand the country.
Of course, there stand some advantages to learn about a foreign country through reading relative magazines and newspaper; comparing with visiting a foreign country at present, it costs less time and expenses. Under some circumstances, we cannot afford to pay for the vacation. Thus, reading magazines and newspapers turns out to be a second best option.
In a nutshell, learning about a country through reading magazines and newspaper is not an ideal approach. If time and expenses are allowed, I still recommend to travel and stay in the country for several days.

potpourriUID：2834146

The best way to learn about a foreign country is by reading newspaper or magazines.
There are many ways to understand a foreign country. We can learn about the country by spending couples of days traveling there and communicating with native people, or through reading magazines and newspaper. Nevertheless, personally I prefer to learn about a foreign country by staying there for a period of time, rather than merely reading magazines and newspaper either from the country or introducing it.
First of all, reading second-hand information from magazines and newspaper tends to present people with partial and even distorted conception about the country. Articles in magazines and newspaper, no matter prons and cons, can be influenced greatly by the position of  the critics' view. （去掉view）Even photographs also implicit some prejudices. In tourist magazines, the marvelous shots are always artificial and magnify the beauty of the scenary.
In addition, by reading magazines and newspapers, people themselves are subject to make mistakes about the foreign country, since there is no way for(to) reflection as well as to examine their views. In contrary, if we have the chance to visit and stay in the foreign country, through communicating with local residents, we can certainly re-examine our point of view of the country and update our perception and infomation concurrently. That will be a much better and efficient way to understand the country.
Of course, there stand some advantages to learn about a foreign country through reading relative magazines and newspaper; comparing with visiting a foreign country at present, it costs less time and expenses. Under some circumstances, we cannot afford to pay for the vacation(afford to go on vacation). Thus, reading magazines and newspapers turns out to be a second best option.
In a nutshell, learning about a country through reading magazines and newspaper is not an ideal approach. If time and expenses are allowed, I still recommend to travel and stay in the country for several days.

好文，学习！

懒人一枚UID：2838780

好文，很多值得学习的地方！

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

6.29
Successful people take new things and takerisks rather than the thing that they’ve done well.

Some people believe that successful peopleare those making innovations and progresses, while others props that only doingwhat they've done well can people succeed in the end. As far as I'm concerned,successful people not only dare to take challenges and innovations, but alsocope with what they've done well.

First of all, successful people are readilyto confront different challenges and risks that may occur in their lives andcareers. They clearly understand the doctrine that reservation equals toself-suicides, while taking new trials and experiments help to maintain acompetitive and energetic life. This is evident particularly for people whoventure in the Internet industry. Without creative ideas and fast updatedproducts, these entrepreneurs can hardly develop even exist in the toughlycompetitive realm. The winners of the game are those who have flexible tactic,strong creative designing ability and the guts to break away the fence and leadthe trend.

Also, successful people know theiradvantages at and have rationality to stick with what they've done well. Theyknow no one is perfect in every aspect and their success comes fromintelligence, diligence as well as self-coucsiousness. A person who is achampion in running, say Bolt, will not officially challenge the world bestpiano player, unless he is insane. Bolt is a chess champion, not only becauseof his talent in running, but also for his insistence in practicing on thefields. If Bolt never ceased to try new things, piano, chess, or writing, it ishard to imagine that he would break the world record of running for more thanonce.

To sum up, the success and achievementattribute to both innovation and persistence. Successful people never retreatto what they have achieved, and make breakthroughs in what they've done well.

potpourriUID：2834146

Some people believe that successful peopleare those making innovations and progresses, while others props that only doingwhat they've done well can people succeed in the end. As far as I'm concerned,successful people not only dare to take challenges and innovations, but alsocope with what they've done well. " u2 _: _% F& s  k. ]0 |

First of all, successful people are readily to confront different challenges and risks that may occur in their lives andcareers. They clearly understand the doctrine that reservation equals toself-suicides, while taking new trials and experiments helps to maintain acompetitive and energetic life. This is evident particularly for(this is particularly evident in..) people whoventure in the Internet industry. Without creative ideas and fast updatedproducts, these entrepreneurs can hardly develop even exist in the toughly competitive realm(好). The winners of the game are those who have flexible tactic,strong creative designing ability and the guts to break away the fence and leadthe trend. $ h" @# ]) G- |' w

Also, successful people know theiradvantages at（is clear about what their advantages are） and have rationality to stick with what they've done well. Theyknow no one is perfect in every aspect and their success comes fromintelligence, diligence as well as self-coucsiousness. A person who is achampion in running, say Bolt, will not officially challenge the world bestpiano player, unless he is insane(这句多余，建议删掉). Bolt is a chess champion, not only becauseof his talent in running, but also for his insistence in practicing on thefields. If Bolt never ceased to try new things, piano, chess, or writing, it ishard to imagine that he would break the world record of running for more thanonce
这段的例子讲述的不是很清晰。B是象棋冠军，不仅因为运动天赋，还有勤奋努力？
最后一句也没太理解。
To sum up, the success and achievement attribute to(可以这么用？好像成功不能做主语吧) both innovation and persistence. Successful people never retreat to what they have achieved, and make breakthroughs in what they've done well.
最后一句的总结，好像没有概括两个方面。

彩色见附件

KeeeeenWUID：2592937

彩色见附件。。修改模式


6.29
Successful people take new things and takerisks rather than the thing that they’ve done well.

Some people believe that successful peopleare those making innovations and progresses, while others props that only doingwhat they've done well can people succeed in the end. As far as I'm concerned,successful people not only dare to take challenges and innovations, but alsocope with what they've done well.
感觉你的首段很清晰，观点明确。


First of all, successful people are readilyto confront different challenges and risks that may occur in their lives andcareers. They clearly understand the doctrine that reservation equals toself-suicides, while taking new trials and experiments help to maintain acompetitive and energetic life. This is evident particularly for people whoventure in the Internet industry. Without creative ideas and fast updatedproducts, these entrepreneurs can hardly develop even exist in the toughlycompetitive realm. The winners of the game are those who have flexible tactic,strong creative designing ability and the guts to break away the fence and leadthe trend.



Also, successful people know theiradvantages at and have rationality to stick with what they've done well. Theyknow no one is perfect in every aspect and their success comes fromintelligence, diligence as well as self-consciousness. A person who is achampion in running, say Bolt(最好用全名，世界上还是有其他叫Bolt的), will not officiallychallenge the world best piano player, unless he is insane. Bolt is a chess(running?)champion, not only because of his talent in running, but also for his insistencein practicing on the fields. IfBlot consistently attempts（这个地方好像逻辑有点问题，这样改是不是好点) to learn new things,piano, chess, or writing, it is hard to imagine that he would break the worldrecord of running for more than once. 如果他总是东学学西学学，这让我们很难想象他可以打破跑步记录。


To sum up, the success and achievementattribute to both innovation and persistence. Successful people never retreatto what they have achieved, and make breakthroughs in what they've done well.
优秀的文章，第一个例子观点清晰，第二个例子可能写得有点急。向你学习呀～你的观点对我很有启发：成功者既要知道自己的长处，也要敢于冒险！这样好写多了

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

7.1

694055322UID：2792795

It is undeniable that obeying others' decisions is much easier than making decisions for oneself. In my point of view, however, in most cases, the majority of people still prefer to make decision by themselves.
Every person in
society exists as a unique individual with a sense of self awareness. They have their own habitudes, preferences, and interests, which are distinctive marks to show their personality and uniqueness. Thus, except for themselves, no one else in the world would make the decisions that reflect their features(特点，特征) and inclinations. Even children prefer to make their own decisions. Despite the attentive care from their parents, children still get furious at their parents' domination and infinite intervention. Their rebellion and rudeness can be seen as an expression or outlet for their ineligibility in determining their own options.
In addition, the awareness of right, which has been acclaimed by numerous philosophers in history, has already been embodied in most people living in the modern era. Rights of liberty, property and life, remarked by Lock as three fundamentally unalienable rights for human kinds, inherently indicate that most people nowadays would no longer easily hand out themselves to be decided by others. Particularly, employers, who were described by Karl Marx in the 19th century as subject to the exploitation as silent slaves, have made a huge progress in improving their rights in self decisions. Today, by holding some sorts of stocks, most of them have a say in the companies. Furthermore, with the back up of constitution and government laws, their legal rights and freedom are further protected.
Nevertheless, some people might prefer to follow the decisions made by others, regarding it as a smart and convenient way to avoid probable risks. On the whole, most people would still like to make decisions by themselves.
评语:作者一定是个报读诗书之人，文笔不错，可是你写的句子太长，和我以前高中时候的风格很像，但是老师有批评说貌似我在炫耀玩弄考官。。。。另外，除了开头给人脉络清晰之外，其他感觉有点小凌乱。。。整体是很不错的，运用了很多高级词汇。。。。向你学习哈，请多赐教