issue 138-拍文修改小组 6.28

jessie_1017UID: 2704525

TOPIC: ISSUE138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS: 541
TIME: 00:50:00
DATE: 2010-6-27 下午 04:10:59

Is mistake the only way lead to discovery and progress? Sometimes, when it comes to the topic about failure and success, people hold it right ,just as a Chinese old sayings goes failure is the mother of success. Whereas, my points of contention with the speaker involve analysis of how do these discoveries and progress achieved through mistakes.

First of all, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that mistake is a main factor which cannot be avoided in the way of pursuing success. Some may argue that many successful events and celebrities obtain success through drawing lessons from ancestors or other triumphant events instead of encountering failure, the reason seems ostensibly correct but in fact, it ignores different people or enterprise in different conditions face different situation, even if they do totally similar as the successful ones, the results may diverse a lot, and it is none of possibility that they make no mistakes till success. Thus, I hold the view that mistakes is the only way to gain harvest.

However, admitting the failure is necessary and important is not equal to all kinds of failure can be acceptable. As far as I concerned, failure should be analysis in two aspects. On one level, even failed, he/she can struggle and never stop stepping forward, end with success while the other is once lost, give up it forever and end with failure.

In a positive perspective, success which is result of times of failure and times of attempts should be admired and encouraged as true triumph, it is not only a moral spirit but excellent personal characteristics. Take Lincoln as an example, he lost job in 1832 then stood for election of state senator and end up with failure, after this plaster in political career, he set up a new company which has been closed down less than one year, however, he still had a dream in political career and went back to participation of
select congressman, at last, he did it with trying at least three times, it is his courage to face failure that plum them to try one after another new summit in his life.

In another opposite side, some failure that based on personal phobia and abnegation is a mistake itself, say nothing of success. A man walked and fell off by some ponding, in order not to fall down the second time, he decided to move in crawling, in this way, he may prevent from suffering pain, at the same time, he can never stand up again. It is not exaggerate to say that persisting in one’s goal even when encounter failure is the most difficult part. The one who can stick to the last may be the successful one. Therefore, mistakes are made by everybody, but only a few of people achieved their final goals.

To sum up, the speaker's claim that only trough mistakes can we make discovery or progress is quite right but realized it with some special condition, it does not take into account the different situation. So, not all of mistakes have such a favorable potential, especially without the efforts and persistent minds behind it; nor should we ascribe all of discoveries and progresses to mistakes, while regardless of the hidden other reasons.

yaniiUID: 2807225

TOPIC: ISSUE138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS: 541
TIME: 00:50:00
DATE: 2010-6-27 下午 04:10:59

Is mistake the only way lead（leading) to discovery and progress? Sometimes, when it comes to the topic about failure and success, people hold it right ,just as a Chinese old sayings goes failure is the mother of success. Whereas, my points of contention with the speaker involves analysis of how do（are） these discoveries and progress achieved through mistakes.

First of all, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that mistake is a main factor which cannot be avoided in the way of pursuing success. Some may argue that many successful events and celebrities obtaining success through drawing lessons from ancestors or other triumphant events instead of encountering failure, the reason seems ostensibly correct but in fact, it ignores different people or enterprise in different conditions face different situations, even if they do（are） totally similar as（to） the successful ones, the results may diverse a lot, and it is none of possibility that they make no mistakes till success. （？）Thus, I hold the view that mistakes is the only way to gain harvest.（后半部分论证没太有力, ）

However, admitting the failure is necessary and important is not equal to （doesn’t mean）all kinds of failure can be acceptable. As far as I concerned, failure should be analysis in two aspects. On one level, even failed, he/she can struggle and never stop stepping forward, end with success 。while the other is once lost, give up it forever and end with failure.

In a positive perspective, success which is result of（resulting from）times of failure and times of attempts should be admired and encouraged as true triumph, （because）it is not only a moral spirit but excellent personal characteristics. Take Lincoln as an example, he lost job in 1832 then stood for election of state senator and ended up with failure, after this plaster in political career, he set up a new company which has been closed down less than one year, however, he still had a dream in political career and went back to participation of select congressman, at last, he did it with trying at least three times, it is his courage to face failure that plum them（？） to try one after another new summit in his life.

In another opposite side（ on the other side 或者 on the opposite ）, some failure that based on personal phobia and abnegation is a mistake itself, say nothing of success(?). (是failure造成了什么吧，如果是来源地话就偏了)A man walked and fell off by some ponding, in order not to fall down the second time, he decided to move in crawling, in this way, he may prevent from suffering pain, at the same time, he can never stand up again. It is not exaggerate to say that persisting in one’s goal even when encounter failure is the most difficult part. The one who can stick to the last may be the successful one. Therefore, mistakes are made by everybody, but only a few of people achieved their final goals.

To sum up, the speaker's claim that only trough mistakes can we make discovery or progress is quite right but realized it with some special condition, it does not take into account the different situation. So, not all of mistakes have such a favorable potential, especially without the efforts and persistent minds behind it; nor should we ascribe all of discoveries and progresses to mistakes, while regardless of the hidden other reasons.

貌似前两段把主题句放最后了，如果放在段首，思路可能会更清晰些
有些地方的论证需要强化一下，增强说服力
很佩服你在这么短的时间里完成了这篇文章，加油！


1# jessie_1017