SilviaZho的作业帖

闪闪硕硕UID: 2825715

这次还是我们互改，

总体感觉，句式有些单一，小错误要注意，再细心些会好很多！

具体修改看附件吧

SilviaZhoUID: 2236948

10.15 people should live in the city or country all life insteadof moving to another place.

When I was a child, I like standing with my grandpa by thetrain track and looking forward to thebeyond, imaging that I am travelling to an unknown destination. Several years later, when I have left myhome 5 years and walked around nearly the whole country and half of the world,I begin to rethink the reason of moving. And if now another place is invitingme, I will say no without hesitation.

First of all, our networkis expanding in the process of adapting to a new environment, and it is definitelythe most important resource for us to achieve professional success. Many peoplebecome our friends and when we need to go further for our career, they are the first group of people that we can think of. Withthe close personal relationship and their social network, most start-upbusiness can be expanded at an astounding speed.

Secondly,familiarity to the environment increases the possibility to success. Besides socialnetwork, awareness on local custom and native’s behavior habits is alsounquestionable the key to win success, especially for people who want toexplore and expand local market in business competition. In this way, they notonly win at the start point, but also can develop sustainably.

Additionally andalso the essential reason for me, parents actually should be the most importantperson in our lives and we should accompany with them when they are gettingolder and eager for our company. They are the only person that can forgive allour mistakes and continue giving all their countless love. If we want to payback after decades of asking for, settling down in one place is the first thingwe should do for our parents. They cannot move with us all the time, and we cangive what they want only in this way.

In conclusion, staying in one place for all life instead of keepingmoving is the best choice for people. Not only for the purpose of gettingprofessional success, but also for another important part of life – family andlove, which is also the most beautiful thing when we live in the world.

peggy890UID: 2812709

10.15 people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.


When I was a child, I like standing with my grandpa by the train track and looking forward to the beyond, imaging that I am travelling to an unknown destination. Several years later, when I have left my home 5 years and walked around nearly the whole country and half of the world, I begin to rethink the reason of moving. And if now another place is inviting me, I will say no without hesitation.（开头意味深长，学习学习）

First of all, our network is expanding in the process of adapting to a new environment, and it is definitely the most important resource for us to achieve professional success. Many people become our friends and when we need to go further for our career, they are the first group of people that we can think of. With the close personal relationship and their social network, most start-up business can be expanded at an astounding speed.

Secondly, familiarity to the environment increases the possibility to success. Besides social network, awareness on local custom and native’s behavior habits is also unquestionable the key to win success, especially for people who want to explore and expand local market in business competition. In this way, they not only win at the start point, but also can develop sustainably. （再来一个更加细节点的个人例子，说理会更加完整）

Additionally and also the essential reason for me, parents actually should be the most important person in our lives and we should accompany with them when they are getting older and eager for our company. They are the only person that can forgive all our mistakes and continue giving all their countless love. If we want to pay back after decades of asking for, settling down in one place is the first thing we should do for our parents. They cannot move with us all the time, and we can give what they want only in this way.

In conclusion, staying in one place for all life instead of keeping moving is the best choice for people. Not only for the purpose of getting professional success, but also for another important part of life – family and love, which is also the most beautiful thing when we live in the world.
感觉楼主的三个理由都有理有据，感觉不错~赞一个
但是希望能够在论述的时候多变幻一种方式，注意一下多样性会更好，加油~

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

不好意思，刚刚看到分组改了。7.15日的我稍后看哈~

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

7.15
people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

When I was a child, I like standing with my grandpa by the train track and looking forward to the beyond, imaging that I am travelling to an unknown destination. Several years later, when I have left my home 5 years and walked around nearly the whole country and half of the world, I begin to rethink the reason of moving. And if now another place is inviting me, I will say no without hesitation.
开头的叙述很吸引人，也点名自己观点，好！

First of all, our network is expanding in the process of adapting to a new environment, and it is definitely the most important resource for us to achieve professional success.（这个地方说适应新环境可以扩大关系网，以致获得成功，和你的观点相悖啊，开头段是赞成living in one place all life的啊~还是想说家乡的朋友是会最无私地帮助我们的呢？如果是这样，建议论述的再清楚一些） Many people become our friends and when we need to go further for our career, they are the first group of people that we can think of. With the close personal relationship and their social network, most start-up business can be expanded at an astounding speed.

Secondly, familiarity to the environment increases the possibility to success. Besides social network, awareness on local custom and native’s behavior habits is also unquestionable the key to win success, especially for people who want to explore and expand local market in business competition. （这里的过渡我喜欢，但是后面似乎没有论据，加上例子会更好）In this way, they not only win at the start point, but also can develop sustainably. （与上一段结尾呼应，也升华了，赞~！）

Additionally and also the essential reason for me, parents actually should be the most important person in our lives and we should accompany with them when they are getting older and eager for our company. They are the only person that can forgive all our mistakes and continue giving all their countless love. If we want to pay back after decades of asking for, settling down in one place is the first thing we should do for our parents. They cannot move with us all the time, and we can give what they want only in this way. （only是不是太绝对了呢，换成best也许会好一点）

In conclusion, staying in one place for all life instead of keeping moving is the best choice for people. Not only for the purpose of getting professional success, but also for another important part of life – family and love, which is also the most beautiful thing when we live in the world.

二三段看似分开，实则结合的议论是亮点，只是二段再叙述清楚些，三段加上例子会更好。但是篇幅应该会加长了，考场上恐怕会不够时间~
再一次赞一下开头段~

梦的弃儿UID: 2840846

楼主没有7.27的作文哦
可是你已经占了位了。

SilviaZhoUID: 2236948

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits



Nowadays, it is common to see people eating on the way to office, nibbling snack while watching TV , and standing in the queue to buy rubbish food like MacDonald or KFC, and. Many people say that this is simply because of quick living speed, which forces people to choose quick way and instant food. In my opinion, however, commercial advertisement cannot escape from being accused of.



On the one hand, food companies usually emphasize on the fantastic taste of their food to abstract people’s attention. When we see the advertisement of MacDonald or KFC’s new products, we often eager to have a taste but forget that it contains high calorie and fat. Day by day, many people eat this kind of food instead of rice, vegetables or other food which can let our bodies keep fit with balanced nutrition. And finally an unhealthy eating habit is formed.



On the other hand, advertising makes people consider an unhealthy eating habit common and even fashionable. For instance, eating food on the way to office is not a good habit. It makes people eat quick, which might increase stomach’s burden. Some companies, however, take advantage of this which is common among people today. They announce that there is a new kind of food which is suitable for people eating by walk. They describe that as fashionable live style to abstract commuters especially the “white collar”. Thus, people are encouraged and nod to eat in this way at length.



In conclusion, advertising should be the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. They first use sweet words to hocus people and induce people to give in to their food, and then convinced people that an actually unhealthy eating habit is common and even fashionable. They are responsible for telling costumers the truth that what’s the ingredient   contains and posting nutrition table. Meanwhile, they should persuade people to eat by table and not too quick. If all the food advertising can include these, they might be able to say that they are not the cause of all.

SilviaZhoUID: 2236948

Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

When we are growing up, there are countless situation where we have to make choices such as choosing schools, selecting majors, finding jobs and so forth. Some parents -- to make sure that their children are always in the right track which they believe -- like to arrange everything for their children. From my aspect, however, I do not think this kind of doing is good. Here are two reasons.
First of all, children should be cultivated to make decisions for themselves because parents are impossible to accompany with them all the life.  It is common to see parents in China make decisions for the early decades years of their children. They decide the schools in which their children should study, arrange jobs for their children by their yearly accumulated social network, and even appoint a “matching” spouse to their children. Year by year, those children gradually lose the ability of making decisions or  addressing troubles which is important when they start to work. When they meet difficulties in work that their parents can do nothing, they fall in frustration, exposing all their weakness which finally stop their further development in professional career.
Secondly, no ones else can know and understand one person except him/herself. When people choose appropriate schools, majors, jobs or even the Ms./Mr. Right, personal interest, value and ability are the most important things should be taken into consideration. The top 10 law school may not suitable for children who are actually talents of painting. The good-return jobs like accountant may be not suitable for children who want to be scientists. And the most good-looking ones are not suitable for people who actually do not care that. Once parents force their children to accept the choice they made, their children’s future may be dim but not brilliant.
In conclusion, children should be encouraged and respected to make choices by themselves. In this way, their ability of addressing all kinds of issues can be improved so that they will not be afraid when their parents leave them alone to face difficulties. Meanwhile, “I think, therefore I am”. Children sure can have a brilliant future by years of having freely developed talents which discovered in the journey of finding themselves. They pay full concentration to the majors they choose, pay all enthusiasm to the jobs they like, and are happy all their life with the one they love. When things happen like this, every parent will be proud of their children and feels happy. This is the “right track”.

增肥UID: 2773671

修改的作文

增肥UID: 2773671

24# 增肥

萌仔UID: 2722956

23# SilviaZho


When we are growing up, there are countless situation where we have to make choices such as choosing schools, selecting majors, finding jobs and so forth. Some parents -- to make sure that their children are always in the right track which they believe -- like to arrange everything for their children. From my aspect, however, I do not think this kind of doing(methord) is good. Here are two reasons.
First of all, children should be cultivated to make decisions for themselves because parents are impossible to accompany with them all the life(lives).
It is common to see parents in China make decisions for the early decades years of their children. They decide the schools in which their children should study, arrange jobs for their children by their yearly accumulated social network(s), and even appoint a “matching” spouse to their children. Year by year, those children gradually lose the ability of making decisions or
addressing troubles which is important when they start to work. When they meet difficulties in work that their parents can do nothing, they fall in frustration, exposing all their weakness which finally stop their further development in professional career.(论述的太多了吧，需要一个例子)
Secondly, no ones else can know and understand one person except him/herself. When people choose appropriate schools, majors, jobs or even the Ms./Mr. Right, personal interest, value and ability are the most important things should be taken into consideration. The top 10 law school may not suitable for children who are actually talents of painting. The good-return jobs like accountant may be not suitable for children who want to be scientists. And the most good-looking ones are not suitable for people who actually do not care that. Once parents force their children to accept the choice they made, their children’s future may be dim but not brilliant.
In conclusion, children should be encouraged and respected to make choices by themselves. In this way, their ability of addressing all kinds of issues can be improved so that they will not be afraid when their parents leave them alone to face difficulties. Meanwhile, “I think, therefore I am”. Children sure can have a brilliant future by years of having freely developed talents which discovered in the journey of finding themselves. They pay full concentration to（on） the majors they choose, pay all enthusiasm to the jobs they like, and are happy all their life（lives） with the one they love. When things happen like this, every parent will be proud of their children and feels happy. This is the “right track”.






行文很流畅啊~呵呵，但是好多来论述，全是在讲道理，
加点例子少点论述比较合理