7.7 欢迎拍文修改小组 argument14

raysun77UID: 2688235

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."


In this memo, the arguer claims that Green Thumb Gardening Center should greatly expand the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardeners to increase their profits. At the first glance, the opinion seems somewhat convincing, but further reflection tells me I cannot agree with it completely.

The arguer provides a national survey as the evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetable. It seems reasonable, however, the arguer fails to make the relationship between the dissatisfaction with the quality of the fresh vegetable and the interesting in growing vegetable. As our common sense, there are many ways to improve the quality of the vegetable except by growing vegetable by their own. And, even the survey somehow proves that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables to avoid some problems that might caused by the low quality of vegetables, the arguer does not provide the evidence that the condition in such a suburban town is as the same as the describe in the national survey. It is entirely possible that customs are very satisfied the quality of the vegetable in the supermarket. If this assumption is the truth, as the arguer’s claim, the customers in this small town are not interested in growing vegetables by their own.

To support the assumption that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, the arguer provide another evidence that the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. In arguer’s opinion, this condition is the result of the increasing interested which growing vegetable by customer’s own. However, the arguer ignores some other factors that might undermine the assumption. First, the arguer does not provide the compare ion of the number of gardening magazine Great Gardens between the past and the present. It is possible that this kind of magazine is too wonderful that always be sold in the row. Second, even the number of sold magazine has increased in resent months, there is still no evidence to show that this condition is caused by the eager of growing vegetable. it is possible that the things that attract the attention of customers is not vegetable but flowers or garden skills. The arguer assume this assumption by such evidence in very unconvincing.

As it stands, this argument is not well reasoned. To better evaluate this argument, the arguer would have to provide information concerning whether consumers will and can grow vegetables in their own gardens. Besides, we need concrete evidence to show that more gardeners will buy vegetable seeds supplied in Green Thumb Gardening Center.

fchenyanUID: 2804020

7.7 欢迎拍文修改小组 argu 14
TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."


In this memo, the arguer claims that Green Thumb Gardening Center should greatly expand the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardeners to increase their profits. At the first glance, the opinion seems somewhat convincing, but further reflection tells me I cannot agree with it completely.

The arguer provides a national survey as the evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetable. It seems reasonable, however, the arguer fails to make(make,之后是不是还有什么，make ……clear) the relationship between the dissatisfaction with the quality of the fresh vegetable and the interesting in growing vegetable. As our common sense, there are many ways to improve the quality of the vegetable except by growing vegetable by their own. And, even the survey somehow proves that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables to avoid some problems that might caused by the low quality of vegetables, the arguer does not provide the evidence that the condition in such a suburban town is as the same as the describe in the national survey. It is entirely possible that customs are very satisfied the quality of the vegetable in the supermarket. If this assumption is the truth, as the arguer’s claim, the customers in this small town are not interested in growing vegetables by their own.

To support the assumption that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, the arguer provide another（other） evidence(evidences) that the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. In arguer’s opinion, this condition is the result of the increasing interested which growing vegetable by customer’s own. However, the arguer ignores some other factors that might undermine the assumption. First, the arguer does not provide the compare ion of the number of gardening magazine Great Gardens between the past and the present. It is possible that this kind of magazine is too wonderful that always be sold in the row. Second, even the number of sold magazine has increased in resent （recent）months, there is still no evidence to show that this condition is caused by the eager of growing vegetable. it is possible that the things that attract the attention of customers is not vegetable but flowers or garden skills. The arguer assume this assumption by such evidence in very unconvincing.

As it stands, this argument is not well reasoned. To better evaluate this argument, the arguer would have to provide information concerning whether consumers will and can grow vegetables in their own gardens. Besides, we need concrete evidence to show that more gardeners will buy vegetable seeds supplied in Green Thumb Gardening Center.(argu很好，思路清晰，分析透彻，赞！不过还是要注意句子结构方面的问题，我会持续关注你的进步的哦)

yaniiUID: 2807225

argument写的很不错，清晰、到位，能比较充分的表达出自己的观点
只是貌似和比经典的“八股”少了一个论证角度，再试着找找
继续加油哦！

raysun77UID: 2688235

2# fchenyan
:loveliness: 加油加油，再多看些资料，充实一下我的“血肉”去，嘻嘻

raysun77UID: 2688235

3# yanii
哦，对，应该在后面再加一个 in addition，罗列一下小错误， 谢谢你指出来哦~~:handshake