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[活动] Arant作文本 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-8-13 22:17:39 |只看该作者
请帮我改下,谢谢
花朵用真诚的等待,换来叫醒世界的盛开

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发表于 2010-8-14 12:55:07 |只看该作者
楼主改好了,呵呵~
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发表于 2010-8-14 16:07:15 |只看该作者

8.14

每次写到都发现自己好像跑题了是怎么回事...
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发表于 2010-8-15 12:20:31 |只看该作者
8.14改好啦~~~
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发表于 2010-8-15 21:28:52 |只看该作者
评完了~
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发表于 2010-8-15 21:30:32 |只看该作者
别忘了帮我们回改~~

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发表于 2010-8-16 17:08:04 |只看该作者

8.17

....写了两遍....
越发的对自己直接写的能力表示怀疑了
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发表于 2010-8-18 19:00:08 |只看该作者
改好啦,请查收
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发表于 2010-8-18 21:40:28 |只看该作者
Admittedly,
both televisions and telephones are great invention in thethe 去掉) history. However, I personally believe that telephones have changed our life much more than televisions have done.
First of all, telephones have completely changed the life of individuals. The invention of thethe 去掉) telephone allowed communication between people over great distances, which had to take days, months and even years by mail in the past. In 1970s' China, few families owned a telephone. My father told me that a friend of my grandfather once felt sick and wanted to go to the hospital, but he had to walk to hosptial painfully, because he has no other ways to inform the hospital his illness. if he had a telephone, he could have called an ambulance. From such an example we can conclude that the invention of telephones paved a path for new era of communication in some ways.
Secondly, telephones have changed society as it leads to a faster exchange of information and communication. With a faster exchange of information and communication, economy of the society can grow quickly. faster and more accurate information brings faster and more correct reactions, which helps companies stand out in the fierce competition. At the same time, the economy grows.
Thirdly, telephone revolutionized and modernized the world and made great strides in technology. Talking to someone on another part of the world was thought to be an impossibility before, but telephones made that possible. It was(was 去掉) greatly changes the view on the world. On the other hand, telephones also paved the way to more useful inventions which makes exchange of ideas, information and learning accessible to more people around the world. With the help of telephones, great scientists can exchange their ideas, thoughts and discoveries. Then, it resulted in more inventions and greater discoveries.
To conclude, I can not agree more about the invention of telephones having changed our world in depth. To individuals, to the society and to the process of mankind, telephones can be a significant invention.

TV只字不提是不是不太好呢?你可以说TELEPHONE 很好,但还是要提一下TV 然后比较得出TELEPHONE更好.个人意见.加油!

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发表于 2010-8-19 16:13:59 |只看该作者
超时超时又超时!!!
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发表于 2010-8-20 16:20:56 |只看该作者
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽

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发表于 2010-8-21 10:08:20 |只看该作者
....还是超时...而且还写错了无数的单词...= =...唉....
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发表于 2010-8-22 09:57:14 |只看该作者
27# Arant
结构清晰,注意细节
人生短暂,相逢有缘,只要happy,没准再见

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发表于 2010-8-22 10:38:25 |只看该作者
我发不了附件,word发到你qq信箱里了,请注意查收
人生短暂,相逢有缘,只要happy,没准再见

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发表于 2010-8-22 12:03:22 |只看该作者
小丸子改8.21作文
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