ibt 作文习作贴， 欢迎来拍

newyork2010UID: 2548406

修改好了，因无法粘贴附件，发到你QQ邮箱了呵呵

starbigstarUID: 2855966

小修改~

csleeUID: 2693790

个人意见，仅供参考！！！！！！！！！

bearseuUID: 2873933

21号的，不好意思，有点迟了

makeithappenUID: 2585223

Improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of a country.

Education is a very essential factor of evaluating a development of a country, thus improving the schools is a very crucial to raise the country up. Some think government should put this on the first place, outweighing other aspects, whereas some people do not think so. In my opinions, I agree this to the extent that improving schools is one of the most important factors determining the success of a country, but ignoring other important factors is not wise.
    Students are the striking force of the society in the future, providing them high-quality education is very vital. Since improvements can bring more facilitates and high-level teachers, students have more chances to do experiments, and more opportunities to obtain advanced knowledge. These improvements not only enable students to excel at science in a deep extent, but also prepare a new generation of pioneer for future construction of the society.
    It is necessary to improve schools for the young generation, but overdue focusing on this would make the society lose its orientation. Since most of the resources are distributed into the educational system, other fields such as agriculture, economics may not have enough support. As agriculture ensures people all over the nation have sufficient food, and economics enable the commodity trade, including the teaching equipments, lacking contribution from these realms would render a vulnerable country. In addition, a certain extent of martial force is indispensable. Once the country is colonized by other nations, all are controlled by other nations, including education. In that case, merely improving schools would have no value.写后果不错
    In addition, improvement of education guarantees the quality of the next generation, and giving them a suitable environment is equally crucial. From the start of the industry revolution, the environment issue becomes more and more severe due to the unregulated human activity such as deforestation and unscrupulous release of industrial waste. Till today, a relatively large area has been polluted. If this circumstance continues, our next generation may hardly find an unpolluted area. Therefore, investment on the environment protection is fairly important.
    All in all, I admit that improving the schools is a very far-sighted idea, but what have the same importance as the education such as agriculture, economics and environment should also be taken into consideration.

你的词汇很丰富……感觉论证也蛮好的~~

makeithappenUID: 2585223

The speaker talks about the online encyclopedia of which enable people to modify and add the contents, and the reading passage casts serious doubts on the validity of this form of encyclopedia, claiming that the traditional encyclopedia is more reliable. Yet the lecturer did not agree with the reading.
    In the first place, the reading passage states that there must be a lot of errors in the online encyclopedia. Howbeit,我建议还是换一个常用的吧 这个有点夸张的感觉 the speaker argues that both the online encyclopedia and the tradition one have inevitable errors, and for the online encyclopedia, the errors were just a little price for the benefits it brings to people. People can easily correct the errors of using online encyclopedia, while the correction of the traditional one might take decades. For that matter, the online encyclopedia has much less flaws than the tradition one, which directly attacked the first doubt from the reading passage.
    In the second place, when it comes to the hacker, the speaker cites two current solutions. First, to make the crucial files and information read-only files, preventing the modification by the hacker; second, to set editors to monitor each change, keeping the encyclopedia being maliciously revised. Either of them, would be strong means keep the online encyclopedia from the hackers. This shows another opposite opinion to the reading passage.
    In the third place, the reading passage cites the large amount of information added in the online encyclopedia might distract people to find the gist. However, since the tradition encyclopedia has limited spaces, it cannot reflect people's various interest in the books, whereas the online encyclopedias are free of this. The diversification of people’s interests leads the online encyclopedia more attractive. This shows a contradictory way to what the reading passage expects.

词汇量很丰富，句子有变化。但是我个人读了的感觉是也许有的词汇过于追求多。而有点不太准，有点偏。