missmumuxi的作文

高小鱼UID: 2714619

见附件~

missmumuxiUID: 2710337

15# ruiquan2003 accounting for那个我用错鸟，是解说说明 ，占得意思

missmumuxiUID: 2710337

8.31 的作文 好难写吖  我需要美文

大M.UID: 2893336

改好了 水平有限 如果改的有问题 请见谅丫 我发给你邮箱吧 我不能用附件 sigh

bbliangUID: 2604466

18# missmumuxi

missmumuxiUID: 2710337

9.7 好难吖。。。。请赐教& o% t0 I% C; C& d) D
( a- W1 U& S( t" o

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

改好了
我也写得不好，共同努力吧

JeannenestaUID: 2456704

改好了，一起加油哦~~~

missmumuxiUID: 2710337

9.11作业

chxh2020UID: 2587109

9月11日交
2009.9.19 NA  Government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, such as swimming pool or play ground


Whether government should focus more on the development of art and music than on exercising physical body （添加or not ）, before answer（应该为answering） this question, we should analysis （应该为analyze） the significance of both. From my view, art museum and music performance makes a person more diverse and thoughtful; while recreational facilities relax the stressful body, ensure healthy life. Both of them should be balanced when the government makes city planning（可为plan）.
To begin with, without a health body, one cannot do anything. Doctors suggest us to go sports three times at least a week, which emphasis (应该为emphasize) the importance of recreational facilities（指明运动的重要性，而不是运动设备的重要性）. Moreover, go （宜为doing or making）sports does not only means to exercise but also a good access to relax oneself, apart from the nervous office life(主语颠倒). Without health, one was not able to be inspired by any art work or music; without health, one was not able to fulfill the revolutionary thought comes from art work（意思表达不错，但是注意时态）. Art museum and music performance exist only in name under such situation. Health body is the essential prerequisite of any spirits movement, which determine the importance of recreational facilities（改为 at the some time, the health body is coming from using these recreational facilities frequently 如何？）.
Secondly, everyone has talent and hobby, which may be on art or sports. Government should take care of public taste, but not special interest of minority. If the government pays more attention of people who enjoy art more than sports, the discontent of the rest who like sports will destroy the harmony of society. As all means are create equal, everyone gets a chance to enjoy hobby, making no distinction between art and sports. Meanwhile, supporting the development of diverse interests of people is obligation of government.（这段话写的有些生硬）
The last but not the least, the pop sports star originate from the swimming pool or play ground in the community. With the decrease of these grounds, there is no doubt a sharply thin-out of athlete in the nearly future. For instance, Chinese government cut down the number of play ground in the last ten years, which leads to unsatisfactory situation nowadays; conversely, the European countries enlarge the football play ground, as the result, they harvest victory(这个例子写得不错，赞一下).
In sum, as the art focus on the spirit part of human being, the sport ensure a healthy body, both of which should be on the same position while the government making decision. The art activate new thought, then the health body make it come true, no one can leave with each other.

楼主需要注意动词和名词的形式，文章观点比较明确，但是句子写得较为生硬，有些拗口。需要培养语感，加强基础练习。
我们均需要加强练习。共同努力吧！

cola_dwUID: 2803197

Whether government should focus more on the development of art and music than on exercising physical body(the improvement of national physical fitness),(but) before answering this question, we should(改为I would like to 可能好些) analysis(analyze) the significance of both. From my view, art museum and music performance makes a person more diverse and thoughtful; while recreational facilities relax the stressful body(感觉stressful指精神多,用over-tired好些),(and) ensure healthy life. Both of them should be balanced when the government makes city planning.

To begin with, without a health body, one cannot do anything. Doctors suggest us to go(改为going for) sports three times at least a week, which emphasis(fully illuminate) the importance of recreational facilities. Moreover, go(改为playing) sports does not only means to exercise but also a good access(way 或者是 approach貌似舒服点) to relax oneself, (so as to be)apart from the nervous office life. Without health, one was not(nobody was) able to be inspired by any art work or music; without health, one was not able to fulfill(explore好些吧) the revolutionary thought comes from(coming from 或 in) art works. Art museum and music performance exist only in name under such situation(leave little more than their superifical titles ). (In a nutshell)Health body is the essential prerequisite of any spirits(spiritual) movement(s), which determine the importance(上面用过importance这里就用significance,priority之类的) of recreational facilities.


Secondly, everyone has (individual) talent and hobby, which may be(用了好多which了，干脆这里去掉) on art or sports. Government should take care of public taste, but not(rather than) special interest(s) of minority. If the government pays more attention of(on) people who enjoy art more than sports(atttention的是人，不是sports,改为on those who prefer sports), the discontent of the rest who like sports(改为the discontent of the latters) will destroy the harmony of society(外国貌似不说和谐哈，咱们用welfare 或者是 well-being of society 你看怎样). As all mean are create equal（这句话没看懂）, everyone gets a chance（用freedom轻松些吧，又不是应聘找工作） to enjoy hobby, making no distinction（disincrimination） between art and sports. Meanwhile, supporting the development of diverse interests of people is (the)obligation of (an)government.

The last but not the least, the pop sports star originate(originate直接去掉吧) from the swimming pool or play ground(playground) in the community. With the decrease(decreasment) of these grounds(athletic sites), there is no doubt a sharply thin-out of athlete in the nearly(near) future. For instance, Chinese government hascutted down the number of playgrounds in the last ten years, which leads to(别用which了,as a result, unsatisfaction were coming along till now unsatisfactory situation  nowadays; conversely, the European countries enlarge the football play ground(enlarge的是面积还是数量呀？), as the result, they harvest victory(想了半天，觉得我更愿意用have got glory victories).


In sum, as the art focus on the spirit part of human being, the sport ensure a healthy body, both of which should be on the same position while the government making decision. The art activate new thought, then the health body make it come true, no one can leave with each other.