北师地下水 托福作文

北师地下水UID: 2366011

还有一个月就要考试啦， 第一篇文章出炉，希望大家使劲拍砖啦
Topic：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: younger school children (aged five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science and history.
Nowdays people increasingly place much emphasis on the education of their offsprings, especially when children begin to attend schools. So how to cultivate their children become a arguable question. some assume that children should only study math, language, science and history because all these subjects can serve to benefit children when they grow up, while others argue that, in addition to math, language, science and history, children should choose subjects of art and music. I strongly agree with the latter one because of the following reasons.
The first and foremost reason why I support children should study all of these subjects is that these subject can give children a happy, wonderful childhood time. it is undenying that it is necessary for us to stimulate childrens' interest of learning, especially at this stage of one's life. Art and music with no doubt can foster childrens' interest, and can give children a comfortable study environment. Imagine this situation that children can only study math, language, science and history. personal experience tell us that this situation would make us, feel study boring, let alone children, which might cause children to be tired about the subject, even be absent
in class. Moreover, one person's education should be comprehensive. That is, children should study various subjects, including arts and science, which are conducive to cultivate children to be a well-around person.
Another reason why I approve children should study all of these subjects is based on the developent of children in the future. Besides the subjects of math, language, science and history, art and music can give children another approach to foster their hobbies. Generally speaking, childhood is the time that can easily form childhoods' hobbies. It is probable that some children show their preference to art and music when these subjects introduced. Most importantly, some children might show their talent to art or music. Therefore, introducing art and music can not only cultivate childrens' hobbies and shape children's personalities but also teacher might find talents of the aspect of art or music.
The last point I'd like to point out is that art and music are beneficial for children to improve the ability of imagination from a early time. People generally know that math, science, and language play a significant role in childrens' future career, but they don't realize the importance of art or music in cultivating children's imagination. Unlike math or science, which has fixed formula or theory, art or music can give children much more space for childrens' thoughts, children can paint their picture freely or sing their song openly, according to their imagination, without considering the right or wrong. on the other hand, the ability of imagination can serve children to study other subjects like science, which can contribute children to be a creative person.
In conclusion, art and music play an important role in childrens' development, including fostering childrens' interest of studying, cultivating their hobbis and improving the ability of imagination. Therefore, I, without ahesitation, approve that school children should be required to study art and music, besides math, science, language and histroy.

lengningjiUID: 2774905

Nowdays(nowadays) people increasingly place much emphasis on the education of their offsprings, especially when children begin to attend schools. So how to cultivate their children become (我觉得这个用法有点儿奇怪) a arguable question. some assume that children should only study math, language, science and history because all these subjects can serve to benefit children when they grow up, while others argue that, in addition to math, language, science and history, children should choose subjects of art and music. I strongly agree with the latter one because of the following reasons.% i% Q) z- Z. z0 n: y( r


The first and foremost reason why I support children should study all of these subjects is that these subject can give children a happy, wonderful childhood time. it is undenying(no denying) that it is necessary for us to stimulate childrens'(children’s) interest of learning, especially at this stage(???) of one's life. Art and music with no doubt can foster childrens' interest (it is chinglish), and can give children a comfortable study environment. Imagine this situation that children can only study math, language, science and history. personal experience tell us that this situation would make us, feel study boring (chinglish), let alone children, which might cause(isn’t make better?) children to be tired about(of) the subject, even be absent 3in(absent from) class. Moreover, one person's education should be comprehensive. That is, children should study various subjects, including arts and science, which are conducive to cultivate children to be a well-around person.


Another reason why I approve children should study all of these subjects is based on the developent of children in the future. Besides the subjects of math, language, science and history, art and music can give children another approach to foster their hobbies(chinglish). Generally speaking, childhood is the time that can easily form childhoods' hobbies. It is probable that some children show their preference to art and music when these subjects introduced. Most importantly, some children might show their(have, chinglish) talent to art or music. Therefore, introducing art and music can not only cultivate childrens' hobbies(chinglish) and shape children's personalities but also teacher might find talents of the aspect(???) of art or music." r; S, }" m. e, z, U


The last point I'd like to point out is that art and music are beneficial for children to improve the ability of imagination from a early time. People generally know that math, science, and language play a significant role in childrens' future career, but they don't realize the importance of art or music in cultivating children's imagination. Unlike math or science, which has fixed formula or theory, art or music can give children much more space for childrens' thoughts, children can paint their picture freely or sing their song openly, according to their imagination, without considering the right or wrong. on the other hand, the ability of imagination can serve children to study other subjects like science, which can contribute children to be a creative person.


In conclusion, art and music play an important role in childrens' development, including fostering childrens' interest of studying, cultivating their hobbis and improving the ability of imagination. Therefore, I, without ahesitation(???), approve that school children should be required to study art and music, besides math, science, language and histroy. (chinglish)


主的文章很长，说明您能有话说，这个很难得；观点很多，说明您思维很好。

因为您说这是您的第一篇，个人给您几个建议：

1.篇幅太长。如果这篇文章您是在30分钟内用台式机键盘完成，或您对您的打字速度非常自信的话，您可以忽略这一条。但如果您不符合上面的条件，请您相信您在考试的时候绝对打不了这么长。

2.Chinglish太多，我给你标出来一些，但应该不是全部，一些句子您可以再斟酌一下。

3.观点太多，却没有例证。这种作文有3个观点就足够了，且每一个观点都要有一个例子去支持它，外国人不喜欢中国式的说教。

4.“孩子”这个词，单数是child，复述是children，没有childrens这个用法，我在文章里给您标出来了。

个人意见，仅供参考。

by lengningji

xynusUID: 2599615

beishi ~~~di xia shui???~额～～～不同学校同专业。。加油加油

北师地下水UID: 2366011

0902独立作文


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: parents should give money to their children for their high marks at school.



Nowadays people increasingly place significant emphasis on the children's study. In order to encourage their children get a high grades in study, parents, in contemporary time, give various rewards to their children. some people suggest that parents should give money to their children for their high scores at school. however, I strongly disagree with this opinion, the reason I would discussed as belows.

The first reason I disapprove this statement is that this rewarding method would have negative effect on children's study. It is no denying that parents should encourage their children to study hard and get higher grades at school, however, if parents had regarded money as the rewardings for their children's high marks, children would misregard the meaningful of study and finally lose the objective of study. Many examples are available around us. I remembered my brother's study experience when he was in elementary school. In the beginning, my father always gave money to my brother when he received high marks since he had attended elementary school. After about three years, my father didn't present money to my brother because there was not enough money to support my family. My brother didn't want to go to school, and even absent from school. It seemed that he have no motivation to study in class, and consequently his marks became much lower than before. Obviously, my brother regarded getting money as the solely impulse as his studying, and he didn't know the reason why he studied and for what he studied.

Another reason I disagree with the opinion is that this rewarding method would mislead children's world value in their development. Children, whom are at the stage of development,easily set the first experience as the right action, which might be as a reference to their later life. Money as the rewarding things to children for their high marks is not suitable. Firstly, children would develop this thoughts that it is so much easy to get money. It is possible that they would not want to earn money by themselves but ask for money from the parents when they grow up as adults. My classmate, Endrin, is a case in point, he was born in a rich family and always have had enough money since he was in elementary school. However, he have not found a job and still got money from his family, although he is twenty-five years now. Furthermore, these adults, whom were once those children, would value money as the most
important things in their life, they would have no personal value, world value, and not know the reason why they live in such a world. In this situation, it is possible for them to commit crime for money. Scientific research from China Daily indicates that almost 75 percent crime cases relating to rob money are from adults, whom generally have no dreams but only money.

In conclusion, it is necessary for children to get rewardings for their excellent behavior at shool, such as getting a high marks. However, money is inappropriate to present to children for their high marks, because of its adverse effects, including misleading children's objectives of study, world value, and personal value. Therefore, parents should consider the disadvantage of money as the rewardings to their children for their high marks.

北师地下水UID: 2366011

嗯，多谢宝贵意见哈，继续努力。。。。。。