butterfly1987的作文帖~~

dongftUID: 2879105

10# butterfly1987

9.23
: p, @, R7 b" b# C) e, ^Why does the pursuit of knowledge loom so large in today's society? Surely because knowledge is playing an increasingly significant role in our life, especially this time of information. Nearly everyone in this world are pining for a better education in order to be knowledgeable. Some people nowadays contend that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries. However, I ,at an individual level, can hardly go with this opinion.There are numerous reasons that could support my position, I would like to list couple of them in the lines below.* J/ |& s( B4 h# L) [5 C# K

# f0 J6 B. ~5 a* k0 yFirst and foremost, there is no denying that the quality of education does not depend on the salaries of teachers but rather the quality of the education system of the whole school. For example, if the the facilities of the labs in a university or school are poorly equipped, even when the teachers are versatile, brilliant and they can instill their theory into students approprately, yet the students have no where to put their knowledge into practice which is an essential and irreplaceable part in master the knowledge. （这个句子比较精彩，但是感觉不大平衡，建议将其变成两句） Therefore, the well condition of facilities in university or school are vital in order to make sure the students are receiving a high quality of education.8 H3 K3 }; K9 K! k

9 q- Q. A" d/ |In addition, apparent and self-evident as it is, the quality of the teachers should never be ignored to make sure the superior quality of education. For the reason that teachers are the most important media in transmitting （这个词貌似比较创新， 建议直接用teach 或者impart） knowledge and they are the ones who are suppose （语态）to make the students have a better understanding of the specific area and lead students to become interested in it.. According to an investigation by the journal Educational Digest, the higher degree and the more achievement the teacher have gained, the more likely their students would stand out and make a great contribution in the same area. （居然有这样好的例子，精彩）Therefore, the quality of the teachers serves as an indispensable element to maintain the high quality of education.
# v/ j& P/ G. v& E; g" T" h5 M0 k+ R" x  l0 o
Admittedly, raising the salaries of teachers can contribute to the good quality of education as well, for the reason that with the stimuli of the money, teachers might like to devote more of themselves into this area.Therefore, this beneficial effect should be considered,however, as I discussed above, this solution fails to be the best approach to a higher quality of education.  q4 M  G1 g# }; ?

, T1 C3 M! K% jTo sum up, considering the influence of the facilities in a school and the quality of their teachers, the increasing of teachers' salaries can scarcely be the best way to improve education.

dongftUID: 2879105

貌似不清楚 再贴一下

9.23
Why does the pursuit of knowledge loom so large in today's society? Surely because knowledge is playing an increasingly significant role in our life, especially this time of information. Nearly everyone in this world are pining for a better education in order to be knowledgeable. Some people nowadays contend that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries. However, I ,at an individual level, can hardly go with this opinion.There are numerous reasons that could support my position, I would like to list couple of them in the lines below.

First and foremost, there is no denying that the quality of education does not depend on the salaries of teachers but rather the quality of the education system of the whole school. For example, if the the facilities of the labs in a university or school are poorly equipped, even when the teachers are versatile, brilliant and they can instill their theory into students approprately, yet the students have no where to put their knowledge into practice which is an essential and irreplaceable part in master the knowledge. （这个句子比较精彩，但是感觉不大平衡，建议将其变成两句） Therefore, the well condition of facilities in university or school are vital in order to make sure the students are receiving a high quality of education.8 H3 K3 }; K9 K! k

In addition, apparent and self-evident as it is, the quality of the teachers should never be ignored to make sure the superior quality of education. For the reason that teachers are the most important media in transmitting （这个词貌似比较创新， 建议直接用teach 或者impart） knowledge and they are the ones who are suppose （语态）to make the students have a better understanding of the specific area and lead students to become interested in it.. According to an investigation by the journal Educational Digest, the higher degree and the more achievement the teacher have gained, the more likely their students would stand out and make a great contribution in the same area. （居然有这样好的例子，精彩）Therefore, the quality of the teachers serves as an indispensable element to maintain the high quality of education.

butterfly1987UID: 2721250

With the development of human society, people nowadays are enjoying a higher level of living condition. However, at the same time, many people start to suffer from unhealthy eating habits as as well. Some people contribute this phenominon to the popularity of advertisement.Whereas, i , at an individual level, can hardly go with this opinion. There are plenty of other factors, such as the stress people are dealing with and the enjoyment of the superior feelings, which are playing even more important role resulting in the unhealthy eating habits.

First and foremost,there is no denying that the influence of stress and pressure that people are facing everyday on their eating habit should never be ignored, since it is common sense that when people are stressful, more often than not, they will feel no desire for food.My cousin David, for instance, who has just join an international company as a supervisor. Due to his responsibility, he is under great pressure in every single working day,so, when it comes to the time for lunch, most of the time, he would delay to have some food or just skip it and have a nap to relax himself instead. Therefore, the stress and pressure coming from have a major responsibility in causing people's unhealthy eating habit.

In addition,apparently,most of the time, the unhealthy food is full of fat or contains other ingredient that are detrimental to human body, but at the same time, it is ridiculously expensive.Accordingly, it is ironic but true that some people choose to have some unhealthy food in order to show their superority or show off their money.When having this kind of unhealthy food, they belive that other people can gain the impression that they are rich and are capable of living in luxious life style,which can give them a sense of success. Therefore, some people choose to have some unhealthy eating habit to make them look different and superior.

Admittedly, the effect of advertisement has its limited influence as well, for the reason that, many junck food looks delicious and attractive on the television, so people may find it hard to resist the temptation to buy some of them. However, considering significant influence of the other factors, as I discussed above, the effect of advertisement can be ignored easily.

To sum up, most of the time, even though advertisement has its place in causing people's unhealthy eating habit, given the important role of stress that are torching people every day and the feeling of superior, it is hard to conclude advertising is the major cause.

melodyfeelingsUID: 2855338

According to an investigation by the journal Education, primary schools which do not provide the art or music courses have a 86.37 percent higher rate of drop-out than those do,
请问一下LZ。。我很喜欢你的details 。。86.37是你随便乱写的么？这样在作文里可以的不？。。我也很想用 但一直不敢用。。。

fermaighUID: 2236755

With the development of human society, people nowadays are enjoying a higher level of living condition. However, at the same time, many people start to suffer from unhealthy eating habits as as well. Some people contribute this phenominon to the popularity of advertisement.Whereas, i , at an individual level, can hardly go with this opinion. There are plenty of other factors, such as the stress people are dealing with and the enjoyment of the superior feelings, which are playing even more important role resulting in the unhealthy eating habits.

First and foremost,there is no denying that the influence of stress and pressure that people are facing everyday on their eating habit should never be ignored（一个句子两谓语？）, since it is common sense that when people are stressful, more often than not, they will feel no desire for food.My cousin David, for instance, who has just join an international company as a supervisor. Due to his responsibility, he is under great pressure in every single working day,so, when it comes to the time for lunch, most of the time, he would delay to have some food or just skip it and have a nap to relax himself instead. Therefore, the stress and pressure coming from（？）have a major responsibility in causing people's unhealthy eating habit.

In addition,apparently,most of the time, the unhealthy food is full of fat or contains other ingredient(s) that are detrimental to human body, but at the same time, it is ridiculously expensive.Accordingly, it is ironic but true that some people choose to have some unhealthy food in order to show their superority or show off their money.When having this kind of unhealthy food, they belive that other people can gain the impression that they are rich and are capable of living in luxious life style,which can give them a sense of success（achievement). Therefore, some people choose to have some unhealthy eating habit(s) to make them look different and superior.

Admittedly, the effect of advertisement has its limited(good) influence as well, for the reason that, many junck food(s) looks(look) delicious and attractive on the television, so people may find it hard to resist the temptation to buy some of them. However, considering significant influence of the other factors, as I discussed above, the effect of advertisement can be ignored easily.（放第一段写最好）

To sum up, most of the time, even though advertisement has its place in causing people's unhealthy eating habit, given the important role of stress that are torching(good) people every day and the feeling of superior, it is hard to conclude advertising is the major cause.
行文流畅，有些句式很不错，但注意 英文表达和中文表达的区别。

butterfly1987UID: 2721250

08.08.08NA.doc (17.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2010-9-28 19:35:14 上传

下载次数: 3

9.28

hypnosis@1122UID: 2904175

With the development of human society,(这句太老套了，建议换换） people nowadays are enjoying a higher level of living condition. However, at the same time，many people start to suffer from unhealthy eating habits as as well. Some people contribute this phenominon to the popularity of advertisement.Whereas, i , at an individual level, can hardly go with this opinion. There are plenty of other factors, such as the stress people are dealing with and the enjoyment of the superior feelings, which are playing even more important role resulting in the unhealthy eating habits.

First and foremost,there is no denying that the influence of stress and pressure that people are facing everyday on their eating habit should never be ignored, since it is common sense that when people are stressful, more often than not, they will feel no desire for food.My cousin David, for instance, who has just join an international company as a supervisor. Due to his responsibility, he is under great pressure in every single working day,so, when it comes to the time for lunch, most of the time, he would delay to have some food or just skip it and have a nap to relax himself instead. Therefore, the stress and pressure coming from have a major responsibility  in causing people's unhealthy eating habit.9 S8 {6 I% o' a. r" _: o

In addition,apparently,most of the time（不要老用同一个短语under most circumstances), the unhealthy food is full of fat or contains other ingredient that are detrimental to human body, but at the same time（meanwhile）, it is ridiculously expensive.Accordingly, it is ironic but true that some people choose to have some unhealthy food in order to show their superority or show off their money.When having this kind of unhealthy food, they belive that other people can gain the impression that they are rich and are capable of living in luxious life style,which can give them a sense of success. Therefore, some people choose to have some unhealthy eating habit to make them look different and superior.1
这段似乎有点跑题

Admittedly, the effect of advertisement has its limited influence as well, for the reason that, many junck food looks delicious and attractive on the television, so people may find it hard to resist the temptation to buy some of them. However, considering significant influence of the other factors, as I discussed above, the effect of advertisement can be ignored easily.

To sum up, most of the time(又是这个！！）, even though advertisement has its place in causing people's unhealthy eating habit, given the important role of stress that are torching people every day and the feeling of superior, it is hard to conclude advertising is the major cause.


改的有点晚了，见谅

butterfly1987UID: 2721250

10.2
abbr_3cbb4c7ce4bd89d8387c3004229cf388.doc (18.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-10-2 13:53:01 上传

下载次数: 5

cathyxinUID: 2746039

诶？怎么觉得咱们写的不是一个话题类？还有怎么上传文档啊

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

第五希云捷修改
9.28 有点晚,抱歉
08.08.08NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should take basic science courses, regardless of their field of concentration.

52
Why does the desire for knowledge loom so large nowadays? Surely because, with the development of technology, information and knowledge are playing an increasingly important role in our daily life and our future career. Some people contend that basic science courses are not necessary considering the different requirement of students' field of concentration. However, I, at an individual level, suppose that regardless of students' major, all of them should take basic science courses which would benefit them in the ability of dealing with problems, becoming popular in social circle and mastering the knowledge of their specific area.

First and foremost, there is no denying that becoming knowledgeable in a variety of field can be blessed with a better ability of dealing with problems, for the reason that it is obvious that the pattern of considering things differs from one field to the other,If people are lucky enough to learn all the basic science courses,when they come across some problem, they can cope with it with a divergent thinking and accordingly come up with a solution more effective and efficiently in a short time. For example, someone come into a predicament that he has to organize plenty of people who are in chaos waiting to claim their problem. Firstly, he may classify these people according to the kind of their problems using the thinking pattern of classification that might be learnt in their math class.Then,analyse people's problem logically,which requiring the training of rational thinking that they can gain in their physic and science classes. Therefore, basic science course can certainly help people come up with a solution more easily by providing diverse way of thinking.(我感觉这段说理不太清楚)


In addition, the knowledge people+ gain from their basic science courses can help people become popular in their social circle as well(As well和 in addition重复了). It is common sense that people are willing to make friends with those who appear to be more intelligent and knowledgeable,Since if we have some trouble,this kind of people are more likely to be reliable and are capable of coming up with some useful suggestions.As a case in point, my cousin David, who has a broad interest in many areas among which includes a lot of basic science fields. He is very popular in his class, since he is considered smart thanks to the basic scientific knowledge.

Admittedly, the knowledge of people's specific area is of the most importance,since this kind of knowledge would be applied the most frequently in their future career. However, it is also true that, as the technology advances all over the world, the various fields of knowledge are not absolutely separated any more,but rather they are connected. If someone fails to master a lot of them, he is unlikely to succeed in the end.


To sum up, the knowledge of basic science course is essential to students, for the reason that it benefits a lot in helping students deal with difficulties easily, getting popular among friends and contributing to the achievement of their future career. Thus, it is advisable for school to offer these courses.

总体感觉如下:
1)        感觉说理不是很充分,尤其是第二段感觉数学物理的不是很有道理的
2)        倒数第二段有点像总结,感觉上没有怎么展开吧.

jcf2008UID: 2681015

2008.10.17NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from travelling in their own country than travelling in a foreign country.

With the development of technology and human society, people nowadays are pursuing the requirement of a higher hierarchy, such as their mental happiness. Accordingly, an increasing number of people choose to travel to gain that during their spare time. Some people consider travel within their own country is more beneficial. However, for my part, traveling in a foreign country benefit people more, comparing with traveling in their own you're(?). There are numerous reasons that could support my position. I would like to list couple of them in the following lines（这句有些多余，和前一句整合为一句话吧）.

First and foremost, there is no denying that traveling abroad could give us a broader horizon. Because when people travel to a different country, they can meet a variety of people, since it is apparent that, people all over the world have their distinct culture and worldviews, due to the influence of the various geological and social backgrounds. For example, people living next to the ocean, are mostly more open and willing to accept to new ideas and concepts. While people who live secluded from the outside world and are cut out from the other civilization, always tend to be more primitive and are inclined to be hospitable（与前文有关吗？）. Therefore, meeting different people and feeling various cultures, traveling abroad can be a boon for people who need to broad their horizon.

In addition, it is common sense that, people travel because they want to get rid of their routine life and have a thorough relaxation. A nice trip to a foreign country can easily satisfy people in this aspect. Unlike traveling in people's own country during which they would appreciate the views and share the values similar to those in their daily life, in a trip to a foreign country, no matter （？）the scenery or the cultural atmosphere are different from that in their local place. Emerging in the exotic atmosphere, people are more inclined to forget about the reality and also the predicament or difficulties they come across in the reality. I remember, my first year in the college, since I did not adapt the new atmosphere（换下说法,比如campus life） well, I became very upset and stressful every day. So I took a journey to Egypt, wondering in the desert, talking with people with strange yet charming accent, I soon get rid of the bad mood and accordingly had a great performance in the following semester. Therefore, traveling abroad benefit（换个词、短语） a lot in helping people get rid of the stress（relieve the pressure） they have to deal with in their daily life.

Admittedly, traveling in people's own country also has its own advantages, such as, it is cheaper and more convenient.（这种说法没咋见过最好分成2个句子吧） However, as the price of a plane ticket is getting lower and lower, more often than not（好句，但意思上好像不连贯）, people could travel to a different country in a short time with reasonable cost. Plus, give the desirable aspects I (have) disccussed above, it is hard to resist the temptation to traveling abroad.

To sum up, traveling abroad can benefit people in plenty of ways, thus in order to have a thorough relaxation and a broaden horizon, it would be more advisable to travel broad.

文章许多句式用词挺新颖的，例子恰当。我水平有限找不出啥大错误，但有部分短语出现频率较高，单复数和拼写的小错误，文章阐述时太过绝对。总之，大家继续努力吧~

cathyxinUID: 2746039

With the development of technology and human society, people nowadays are pursuing the requirement of a higher hierarchy, such as their mental happiness. Accordingly, an increasing number of people choose to travel to gain that during their spare time. Some people consider travel within their own country is more beneficial. However, for my part, traveling in a foreign country benefit people more, comparing with traveling in their own you're (这个是虾米东西？country?). There are numerous reasons that could support my position. I would like to list couple of them in the following lines.

First and foremost, there is no denying that traveling abroad could give us a broader horizon. Because when people travel to a different country, they can meet a variety of people, since it is apparent that, people all over the world have their distinct cultures and worldviews, due to the influence of the various geological and social background (这句有点罗嗦，，，后面的解释其实可以不要). For example, people living next to the ocean,are mostly more open and willing to accept(及物动词，不用加介词) new ideas and concepts. While people who live secluded from the outside world and are cut out from the other civilization（重复）, always tend to be more primitive and are inclined to be hospitable. Therefore, meeting different people and feeling various cultures, traveling abroad can be a boon for people who need to broad their horizon（这句也有点罗嗦，语意从重复，前面的meeting…cultures可删除）.

In addition, it is common sense that, people travel because they want to get rid of their routine life and have a thorough relaxation. A nice trip to a foreign country can easily satisfy people in this aspect. Unlike traveling in people's own country during（during 一般修饰一段时间，过程，in 更好） which they would appreciate the views and share the values similar to those in their daily life,
in a trip to a foreign country, no matter how the scenery or the cultural atmosphere are different from that in their local place (貌似不是一个完整的句子额。。。). Emerging（emerge用在这里不适合吧，blend in之类的意思可能更好） in the exotic atmosphere, people are more inclined to forget about
the reality and also the predicament or difficulties（一个意思。。。） they come across in the reality. I remember, my first year in the college, since I did not adapt the new atmosphere well, I became very upset and stressful every day. So I took a journey to Egypt, wondering in the desert, talking with people with strange yet charming accent, I soon get rid of the bad mood and accordingly had a great performance in the following semester. Therefore, traveling abroad benefits a lot in helping people get rid of the stress they have to deal with in their daily life.

Admittedly, traveling in people's own country also has its own advantages, such as, it is cheaper and more convenient. However, as the price of a plane ticket is getting lower and lower, more often than not, people could travel to a different country in a short time with reasonable cost. Plus, given the desirable aspects I disccussed above, it is hard to resist the temptation to traveling abroad.

To sum up, traveling abroad can benefit people in plenty of ways, thus in order to have a thorough relaxation and a broaden horizon, it would be more advisable to travel broad.

改的有点晚哈，不好意思
。文章思路比较清晰，理由比较充分，结构也比较完整，但是重复的意思太多啦，语法也有些错误，继续加油哦~ 嘿嘿