10.6 父母教育 晚交了，希望大家多提意见！

taotaodekuaile8UID: 2843043

  The desire of people is endless,they want accomplish different things in the same time.Meanwhile,the question about whether people could handle those things well while they are too busy doing variety of things is a question has concerned many people.It is held by many people that even if it sounds difficult,however, there are a lot of people could done it very well.Meanwhile,there are a equally good argument that it will distract people's attention
if there are too many things to do.Sometimes,human beings would feel too tired to make their desire come true.Were it left me to decide whether we should pay the same attention on different things in the same time,I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
   In the first place,in order to achieve success in doing things,individuals should pay full attention on what they want,especially in studying.Concentration plays an predominant role in studying.While you are reading an article which is pretty important to you GPA, you still want to listen music in the meantime,your tension will be distracted.Only be absorbed in one thing,can we achieve our goals.Take my experience for instance,I dreamed to be an painter when I was in my childhood,but my major in college is Chinese,to get the scholarship,I have to work hard and read a wide variety of books as many as I can.And there are not available time for me to practise painting.On the one hand,I don't want to give up my dream,on the other hand,getting the
scholarship is the only way to support my education.Ultimately,I choose the latter to be my recent task.Because I think,if I am too busy doing many different things,I can do few things well.
   In the second place,from my point of view,no one could deny that the energy is the prerequisite for everyone to accomplish their goals.If one is full of energy,the efficiency of the work could be increase,the quality could be advanced as well.My friend John is a persistent student,but his always got low grades,the reason is he join several organizations in college,in that case,he can not use his time well on studying,after a hard day's work,he has no time and energy to accomplish the homework.He even falls asleep on classes sometimes.
   Taking above mentioned into consideration,an unshakable conclude can be safety drawn that concentration is the prerequisite when we want to do something successfully and influently.As far as I'm concerned,if we spend too much time on a lot of things,we could just do few things well,but if we just contribute
on one thing,we have more chance to make it in a high level.

JohnnyyUID: 2923505

The desire of people is endless, they want accomplish different things in（at） the same time. Meanwhile, the question about whether people could handle those things well while they are too busy doing variety of things is a question has concerned many people. It is held(hold) by many people that even if it sounds difficult, however, there are a lot of people could done(do,可以就用一般时吧) it very well. Meanwhile, there are（is） an equally good argument that it will distract people's attention
if there are too many things to do. Sometimes, human beings would feel too tired to make their desire（goals或者换同义词） come true. Were it left me to decide whether we should pay the same attention on different things in the same time, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.有点模糊
   In the first place, in order to achieve success in doing things, individuals should pay full attention on what they want, especially in studying. Concentration plays an（a） predominant role in studying. While you are reading an article which is pretty important to you GPA, you still want to listen to music in the meantime; your tension（spirit） will be distracted. Only be absorbed in one thing这句似乎有问题, can we achieve our goals. Take my experience for instance, I dreamed to be a painter when I was in my childhood（用when I was a child是不是简洁点）, but my major in college is Chinese, to get the scholarship, I have to work hard and read a wide variety of books as many as I can. And there are not available time for me to practice  （practice） painting. On the one hand, I don't want to give up my dream; on the other hand, getting the
scholarship is the only way to support my education. Ultimately, I choose the latter to be my recent task. Because I think, if I am too busy doing many different things, I can do few things well.
   In the second place, from my point of view, no one could deny that the energy is the prerequisite for everyone to accomplish their goals. If one is full of energy, the efficiency of the work could be increase; the quality could be advanced as well. My friend John is a persistent（不合适） student, but his（he） always got low grades, the reason is that he joined several organizations in college, in that case, he can not（cannot） use his time well on studying, after a hard day's work, he has no time and energy to accomplish the homework. He even falls asleep on classes sometimes.8 U: v+ r& c" {8 m9 n# a. @% b0 L
   Taking above mentioned into consideration, an unshakable conclude（conclusion） can be safety drawn（obtained） that concentration is the prerequisite when we want to do something successfully and influently（似乎写错了吧）. As far as I'm concerned, if we spend too much time on a lot of things, we could just do few things well, but if we just contribute
on one thing, we have more chance to make it in a high level.

比较流畅表意也比较清楚，但句型如果在多变些就好了，最好能注意同义词的替换

JohnnyyUID: 2923505

不好意思有点看不清，因为直接粘贴上的~