《12.20冲刺》IBT写作小组作文贴 by cckkll1994

bananasliceUID: 2628141

改好了~写的不错呢~加油

ProsUID: 2945841

1204

晚写也晚改了。 抱歉。

PS：LZ是1220考？不在国内阿。

cck by pro.doc (22.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-12-6 14:44:19 上传

下载次数: 5

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

12.06
独立
     In contemporary era,it is extensively acknowledged that the issue of acquiring job is playing vitally critical role in in-coming future of young people. Yet,meanwhile, whether they should  take several distinct kinds of job before they take a career in a long term or not should be given preferential options has sparked much debate amount students as well as the youngs. Speaking for myself, I am side with the positive view.

       Concerning choosing a long term career, we might be able to settle ourselves down sooner, but a it also demonstrate that we would have to give up the possibilities of finding a better job. In this world of opportunities, chance is everywhere waiting for people to discover,to excavate. Will it be wise to abandon all those potential treasures while we still have our capital to take our chance? Moreover it is only when we settle down too soon will we lose the excitement to experience other ways to live.

       Thinking twice before we set our mind, on the other hand,will allow us to ask ourselves:whether this job fits me well,whether I am interested in the work,whether it will waste my expertise...So many factors should we consider before we decide,so much unknown awaits for us to experience. For instance,my elder brother Hong who graduated from university three years ago, received a job offer as a programmer nearly immediate after his graduation. No doubt he accepted it.However, he ,not quite satisfied with that occupation, quited the company and jumped to another.After five times like this,he finally decided to take a long-term career—in Xichang Satellites Control center.

       Admittedly, vary job from to time would definitely involve a certain amount of risks. Yet only under special circumstances when we take those acceptable risks would we able to seize the oppotunities and have a larger circle of friends and acquaintances.

      Of course, both side have advantages, but if all the factors compiled,the advantages of taking several jobs before taking a career in a long term carries more weight than those the other side. Aaccordingly, from what we have discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that it could be better for young people to experience more ways of life before the make their decision.

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

综合
12.06

      The professor raise serious counter argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent explanations towards the same phenomenons which may refer to the decline of sea otter.
      To begin with, while the author claims that the decreasing number of sea otter is probably caused by water pollution since the water sample in certain area has exhibited up-lifted levels of chemical wastes’ ability to affect sea otters' resistance to lethal infection, the lecturer points out the fact that actually no dead body has ever been found along the coas, which is in favor the predation theory for if they are taken as preys, there obviously won’t be any bodies.
      In the next stage, contrary to the reading writers’ idea that other sea mammals near Alaskan coast are also decline can be attribute to the environment pollution for the only alternative explanation regarding predation of orca is less possible because they prefer to have larger preys such as whales, the professor argues that this case is most unlikely, since most of the whales along Alaskan has been hunt down by human, the orca could simple change their diet.
      Lastly, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the uneven patter of otter decline may created by environmental factor such as currents.The lecturer explains that the uneven pattern may more likely depend on the areas that are accessible for orca.
     Therefore the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the professor and her her fully distinctive ideas on the topics in the reading passage.

luckybabynanfuUID: 2938629

Incontemporary era, it is extensively acknowledged that （the issue of）多余 acquiring job is playing vitally critical（重复，用一个就好） role in in-coming future
（重复，future不就是in-coming?）of young people.
(从句中主语“acquiring job”
谓语is playing a role …然后in the future of youngpeople. “工作在年轻人的未来扮演重要角色”
这句话有点奇怪。你再体会下……你要表达的意思是：it is important for the youthto get a job.或者jot is of great importance in one’s life.对么？
)


Yet,meanwhile,whether they should  take several distinct kinds of job before theytake a career in a long term or not should be given preferential options hassparked much debateamount students as well as the youngs（重复的废话）. Speaking for myself, I am side with（站在某一边，side with 不用系动词） the positive view.% [! C; ^. h2 `7 B- B* k

       Concerning choosing along term career, we might be able to settle ourselves down sooner, but a italso demonstrate that we would have to give up the possibilities of finding abetter job. In this world of opportunities, chance is everywhere waiting forpeople to discover,to excavate. Will it be wise to abandon all those potentialtreasures while we still have our capital to take our chance? Moreover it is only when wesettle down too soon will we lose the excitement to experience other ways tolive. ( Moreover, the fact usuallygoes in this way: we settle down so prematurely that we lose courage andpassion to experience alternative living style! `J)
      Thinking twice before we set our mind, on the other hand, willallow us to ask ourselves:whether this job fits me well,whether I am interestedin the work,whether it will waste my expertise...So many factors should weconsider before we decide,so much unknown awaits for us to experience. Forinstance,my elder brother Hong who graduated from university three years ago,received a job offer as a programmer nearly immediate after his graduation. Nodoubt he accepted it.However, he ,not quite satisfied with that occupation,quited the company and jumped to another.After five times like this,he finallydecided to take a long-term career—in Xichang Satellites Control center.

       Admittedly, vary job from to time? (Skippingfrom job to job) woulddefinitely involve certain amount of risks. Yet only under specialcircumstances when we take those acceptable risks would we able to seize theoppotunities and have a larger circle of friends and acquaintances.
(这是让步说换工作的不好吧，一般让步在第一段（反正正的结构），或者只在段内让步。因为看到前面都已经表达你的观点了，到中间又用一整段来表示对方观点的好处，会有点分量太重)
   Of course, both side(sides) have advantages, butif all the factors compiled,the advantages of taking several jobs before takinga career in a long term carries more weight than those the other side. （这一句同理，都已经最后一段了，没有必要说both sides have advantages 了，因为你不是写成折中风格的，而是强化自己的观点）
Aaccordingly,from what we have discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that itcould be better for young people to experience more ways of life before themake their decision.




总体感觉，为了要增加字数和效果，讲了不少很虚的废话。实质的内容比较少。表达自己的观点不够明确，即使有观点，也没有展开，支撑的内容比较少。


呵呵，我自己写也会有这些问题，但还是说的比较直接~ 不好意思了

luckybabynanfuUID: 2938629

不能上传附件，贴上来格式又全乱了。。。弄了几遍都没弄好，s:dizzy:orry。

ProsUID: 2945841

1206改好了。

cck by pro.doc (26.5 KB, 下载次数: 7)

2010-12-7 15:11:47 上传

下载次数: 7

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

12.07
独立，最近作文写的感觉不太好，就那以前的笔记总结了一下，这次写来看看
（不过写作速度确实比原来快了很多 38min 380词 6s/word其实也不是很快）

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.


     In contemporary era ,it has been extensively acknowledged that ,together job demands, the issue of salaries, has no doubt plays a important role in nowadays society .Yet, meanwhile, whether a job with a high salary but less vacation time or a job with more vacation time but a low salary should be given preferential options has sparked much controversy. Some individuals hold the opinion that jobs with high salaries have fundimentally benificial impacts while some others, believe otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side with the later view.

     Regarding the jobs with little vacation time, indeed ,it provides us more money, which is unquestionablly essential for our life. But it also demonstrates that we would have less leisure time. Would cashes be of any use when we simplly do not have time walking around in shopping malls ? Moreover, had we chosen this kind of jobs, to some degree, we would not have been able to spend much time with our families and friends, which would be very very bad, at least for me.（现在觉得那个very very bad 有点显眼，可以无视，换成detrimental把）

      Jobs with more vacation time, on the other hand, not only enable us to lead a relatively gentle pace of life but also help us stay a rather healthier condition, both physical and mental, and allow us to enjoy our life with others, since there is less pressure upon us. My older brother Hong, for example, after graduating from university, he received a job opportunity working in an famous company as white collar worker, of courese he accepted it. However, before long he found the job tiring and jumped to another job as a computer programmer. Though the new job does not pay as much as the old one, but my brother has made do very well, in the sense that the new job offers a lot vacation for him. This sort of example in which happiness as well as satisfication do exsist in lower-paying jobs is not rare.

     Of coures, the jobs with high salary do have some advantages, still, if all the factors we have and have not mentioned above compiled , lower-paying jobs with more vacations are too tempting not to be chosen for me.

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

12.07
intergrate


The professor raises serious counter argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent perspectives upon some of today’s phenomenons regarding whether the decreasing of literature indicates the decline the general culture.

Firstly, while the author claims that literature exclusively provides people intellectual stimulation, encourages our imaginations, expands knowledge about languages , the lecturer argues that there are always form of books such as science magazines, istory book and political critics which also are creative and offers intellectual stimulates as the literature does.

In the next stage, contrary to the author’s statement that in contemporary era, many people are being distracted by various books of poor quality, music video, internet as well as television, the speaker points out the fact that culture has evolved over time, and non-literal cultures like movies and music are even more concerning our life than literature.

Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture, and this directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that people and publishers now pay less attention on literatures in spite of how brilliant they are. The lecturer argues that modern literatures are mostly too hard to understand. Consequently, people show less enthusiasm to them.

Accordingly, the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker and the speaker has fully distinct ideas on the topics in the reading passage.

bananasliceUID: 2628141

The professor raise (raises) serious counter (这词加在里面是做什么？) argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent explanations towards the same phenomenon which may refer to the decline of sea otter.
      To begin with, while the author claims that the decreasing number of sea otter is probably caused by water pollution since the water sample in certain area has exhibited up-lifted levels of chemical wastes’ ability to affect sea otters' resistance to lethal infection, the lecturer points out the fact that actually no dead body has ever been found along the coas (coast), which is in favor the predation theory for if they are taken as preys, there obviously won’t be any bodies.
      In the next stage, contrary to the reading writers’ idea that other sea mammals near Alaskan coast are also decline can be attribute to the environment pollution for the only alternative explanation regarding predation of orca is less possible because they prefer to have larger preys such as whales, the professor argues that this case is most unlikely, since most of the whales along Alaskan has been hunt down by human, the orca could simple change their diet.这里能多说点听力的内容就好了
      Lastly, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the uneven patter of otter decline may created by environmental factor such as currents. The lecturer explains that the uneven pattern may more likely depend on the areas that are accessible for orca.6 o+ c" [  h7 v0 F) G& E
     Therefore the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the professor and her her fully distinctive ideas on the topics in the reading passage.

EEEE456258UID: 2454106

写得好 没什么要改的 学习

泰迪是只熊UID: 2879878

好了，有些晚了~

EEEE456258UID: 2454106

楼主
我不是偏心呀
实在是心有余而力不足
一般我只对形式 不对内容发表意见
下次只有着重看内容了

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

12.07 independent
In contemporary era, when the pace of our life becomes increasingly fast, will it still be necessary for us to behave as polite as the way before? Recently, a controversy has raised amount people, regarding the this question. While some individuals claims that it will be much efficient if we skip those so-called courtesy and pursuing our goal straight without any distractions, other people believe otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side with the later viewpoint.

   Concerning working without bothering behave polite and acquaintance to others, it, indeed, saves us time and brings convenience in some degree. But how much time could be saved; how much convenience will it brings? Is it really worthy enough for us to take the risk of losing the help from other people, which could has been very helpful, and facing our journey alone in a world full of strangers? I assume everyone has already had their answer.

   Courteous behaving, on the other hand, will not only enable us to impress others, but also help us to focus on the things that people have in common and tolerate the differences. In this way we can have more friends of a wide spectrum,which,in another word, are opportunities of greater chance. Moreover, politeness is always regarded as a vital part of our characteristics. it is only under special circumstances when we keep being polite to others, would we be able to keep from losing ourselves from what and who we are.

Admittedly, pursuing our goals directly has its advantages, however, if all the factors that we have and have not mentioned before complied , the advantages of courtesy weight more that those of the other one. Consequently, it won't be so hard for us to reach the conclusion that even in present day society, being polite is still  probably  a good thing for us.

这篇作文写了两遍，第一遍明显扯了....才写的第二遍
我还是觉得最后一段和结尾连在一起的那个小让步还是留着好点

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

TPO11
intergrate


The professor raises serious counter argument against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent evidence regarding whether the teen-girl in the portrait is Jane Austen.

To begin with, while the author claims that the the portrait was regarded as Jane Austen herself by her family and was used in her letters in 1882, the lecturer points out the fact that when the portrait was put on Jane’s letters as an illustration of the eddition, she has been gone for about forty years, which means barely has her family members seen herself bin face. Therefore, it is possible that their famliy made a minor mistake.

Secondly,contrary to the author has statement that the portrait is highly resambling to the sketch made by her sister Cassandra, especially the features of her face,the lecturer gives an alternative explaination for this case, he suggested that since the Austen family is rather large, it is probable that the girl in the portrait is a relative of Jane Austen.

Subsequently, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the style of portrait is very much like that of Ozias Humphrey,who was popular at the same time when Jane was a young girl.The speaker explains that in spite of the style, everything that left suggest that the portrait was later than the period that it was previously thought, such as the stamp,which shows it was sold by a man who came to London when Jane was already 23 years old.