我的作文贴

cacovilUID: 3028414

多谢修改，一起加油哦

林水监UID: 2895077

辛苦帮我修改的童鞋~~一起加油

CoryanUID: 2993557

不好意思，我的课太多了，改的晚了= =！

perceptive558UID: 3009288

改好了，写的挺好的

林水监UID: 2895077

哈哈，真是倍受鼓舞~~加油加油

林水监UID: 2895077

回来继续写作文，自己考了4.9号的，开心的是小马押中题了，不开心的是我没有把握住啊， 作文综合写的很烂，是2~3分，独立写的还好4~5，写作总分22.我要好好感谢写作小组，没有大家的帮助，我的独立不会提高这么快，同时我也意识到，只练习独立是远远不够的，综合不是只有背背模板那么简单，所以我要再杀回来~~现在在准备gmat的考试，不够toefl的老本不能丢，下次一定要100+~~~~大家加油哦

林水监UID: 2895077

我回来啦，继续写作，和大家一起交流，yes！！

林水监UID: 2895077

9-20 独立作文贴。写的一般般，大家多多指教吧。同时道个歉，今天出去买票，作文上传晚了

林水监UID: 2895077

10-3 独立

林水监UID: 2895077

10-4 独立

1070810820UID: 2639450

10月3日 20091031NA Itis often not a good thing to move to a new  city or a new country because of the lose of oldfriends?

Friends are the most valuable wealth for people, and with the company of friends, we will never feel alone lonely. So some people do not want to move out of their cities,
their they are afraid of losing their old friend . However I think it is too negative to consider that moving out of old city means the loss of old friends. 这里可以简略提点接下来要写的三个观点
first of all, moving to a new city or a new country is not equal to losing contact with your old friend. On the other hand, if they are your close friends , wherever you go, they will think of you and keep in touch with you in all possible ways. The distances should not be the （blame of） excuse for the lose of old friends. According to my own experience, my closest friend , my desk mate of primary school, and I are separated by distance by for almost 10 years. Since after we graduated from primary school, we all move to new cities. However, we always share happiness and experiences through emails , short massages or phones. We still love each other and i think nothing could tear us away apart.
Besides, we can consider this statement in a an optimist way that we can make new friends in the new cities or even in new countries. As (days goes bay) time going by, the new friends you made will transform into old friends , which may be as close as the friends in the old cities. In this case sense, your friends are double doubled and you can be happier ever. And it is very possible that you can introduce your old friends to your new friends. Then the differece between the two cities will disappear. Whatever Both the old or the new cities will be your hometown.
Last but not the least, we will not move to a new city or a new country without any reasons. In most cases, we move for development of carrier , good working conditions , further studies or the necessary of families. So we can benefit a lot from the imitation and at the same time we can affect our old friends to move with us for a better future. As you can see , nowadays more and more students go abroad for further study. While many of them are affected by their relatives or their friends, who broaden vision ,enhance abilities and gain more experiences and knowledge in western countries.这句有点不通，两个从句，没有主句 In this way, it is a good thing to move to a new city even a new country.
In conclusion, it is a good thing to move to a new city or a new country, for old friends will not lose because of distance and new friends will appear. As At the same time ,we can share the new benefit that the new city bring to us with our old friends.


权限不够无法上传word，就直接贴上来了
一些语法错误需要注意
语言表达时需要多积累一些词汇，词组就能表达得更地道更清楚
写得不错，继续加油~

阿叶UID: 3145578

作文~

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

10-4, 等级低上传不了附件。。。
Nowadays, the quality of graduate (graduates 可数名词不能单独使用，除非前面有a, the之类的词) is a hot topic whatever in China and Western countries. Apparently, more and more employers, politicians and parents of students are worry about students. A common problem is what students have leant in school can not (cannot) be put into practice when they step into the society. However, whether offering more preparation before they start working can be the solution to the problem?(这不应该是疑问句吧。直接用is…the solution to the problem?就好了) I don't think so.

Firstly, we have to make it clear what is the real reason for the problem.  According to recent report (reports), more teachers and college (colleges) and universities are concerning too much more on how much achievements of their students have get (got), how many champion their football teams have win(won) , and how many students have(found) find their jobs before they graduate. However, they pay more attention to the results: whether they are better than other teachers , colleges and universities and as a result. (这一句看不出是对面前的转折，不该用however)In other word, they neglect what their students have learnt from them. And this is the main factor that cause the quality of graduates declined in recent year (years). So just adding more courses or offering more preparation can not (cannot) help students begin to work.

Admittedly, opponents will stand up and point out that no (not) every college and university operates in that way. Yet they also neglect another factor of the problem---different major has （majors have） different characteristics and different job has (jobs have)different situations. Some courses such as Accounting and Human Resources really need more practices before they step into the society, because the real working conditions are more complex (跟什么比较？) and students lack the basic experience. But different job will offer different working conditions , colleges and universities are unable to offer all the conditions for students to prepare. What's even worse, if students cannot recognize each condition clear (clearly), the preparations are misleading. Moreover, many majors contain cases teaching and imitating so that students don't need additional courses at all.

In conclusion, without carefully analysis, it is unreasonable to get the conclusion that College or University should offer more preparation before students start working. So I cannot agree with this statement.

yuanruicongUID: 2912839

你的10.4的作业 我等下就发过去~~不好意思 有点晚啦

yuanruicongUID: 2912839

麻烦修改下我的昂~ 你的我用绿色背景标出的是觉得有些不恰当