issue206

blooming_leeUID: 135884

People are too quick to take action; instead they should stop to think of the possible consequences of what they might do.
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As the acceleration of the pace of live in the present-day world, people apt to 'think quickly' and 'react quickly' consequently. Thus it seams urgent to raise the message that people are too quick to take action and they should stop to think of the possible consequences of what they might do. While in fact, there is no need to emphasis on this, both because mostly people will not take action before careful consideration and because in some occasions reacting quickly is the only way to profit, or even to survive.

In people's daily life, generally speaking, there always be enough time for the second thought, and it is possible and usual for every one to take time before taking an action. We get the lesson that 'think twice before leap' in our childhood, both in the school and family lives. To think about days when we were children, there was a hot cake, looking so delicious, lay on the table and no one was around!  Hey, baby think twice before taking it. Maybe mom is going to gift some other kids or there is a VIP coming to dinner tonight. Likewise, pupils who eager to get a high score in the exam room are not hash to write down on the question that he or she is not very sure, as they know that carefully think will increase the possibility of the choice of right answer. And there is another kind of examples teach the same lesson, which is more sensible for adults. Every time we take about the Watergate affair, it is embossed again in our mind that we should think what Nixon ended up with before playing with tricky games. These numerous examples are actually happening around us every day. Tuning on the TV, picking up the newspaper, or chatting with people at work, the reporters and newsmen on the screen and even your colleagues in the office are telling the stories of the persons who take wrong actions get the consequences in a misery way. You are wise enough as you are taking them in, and tell yourself that think another more time before what I am going to do. Thus it is not necessary to proclaim on the second thoughts as people have known this and have taken it for grant.

Besides the situation mentioned above, in which people are allowed to take time before action, there are going to be more and more cases, especially in the fast-pace natured world, that need prompt reactions for profits or even survival. Take Jordan, in the playground, for instance. Can you imagine that he was thinking whether to turn right or to withdraw with the ball in hand? The CNN will be crazy, the ESPN will be crazy, and you, sitting at the TV will be crazy too. And the more subtle 'quick reaction required' cases happen continuous in Wall street every day; the broker quickly pick up the phone on the down-going trends of the NASDAQ and sell the junks to save money, and vice versa. The more quick he or she acts, the little he or she is to lose and the more to profit. Those who lack the ability to take right actions quickly enough do not fit the competitive market. Admitted, this is a risky game and some times people lost profit on quick actions; quick actions and reactions are essential and indispensable in the game. The game is marked with the unique nature, and who want to survive in it should have the aptitude of acting and reacting before carefully thinking, just like how Jordan plays on the ground.

But quick action does not come so easy as people may conceive. It is wrong to say that quick action is based on the innate talent of a certain smart person, such as Jordan in play or the profitable broker in Wall Street. The key is 'training'. Who knows how many hours Jordan practiced each day? Who knows many times the broker practices virtually, maybe in digital games stimulating real trade marketing, before the first investment? Quick action is neither the castle in the air, nor harmful all the time; instead it is needed in some field of the fast-paced world.

In sum, generally speaking, people do not apt to act too quickly, which is formed as a habit when we grow up. What’s more, there are some cases in which it is needed to take action quickly before thinking about the consequences. However, in those cases the procedure of thinking the consequences is not omitted anyway; it is just put prior to the spot of the action.
(769)

blooming_leeUID: 135884

自己批改自己的作文。。。。。。
好象不够力度。看不出什么问题。
anyway，小改也是改。
但还是希望有高手能指点一二。
如果同为菜鸟，
告诉我你觉得哪里读来别扭也是很有价值的啊。


Along with the ever-accelerating pace of live in the present-day world, people become more apt to 'think quickly' and 'react quickly' consequently. Thus it seems urgent to raise the message that people are too quick to take action and they should stop to think of the possible consequences of what they might do. While in fact, there is no need to emphasize on this, both because mostly people will not take action before careful consideration and because in some occasions reacting quickly is the only way to profit, or even to survive.

In people's daily life, generally speaking, there always be enough time for the second thought, and it is possible and usual for every one to take time before taking an action. We get the lesson of 'think twice before you do' or 'look before you leap' in our childhood, both in schools and family lives. Thinking about days when we were children! Wow, there was a hot cake, looking so delicious, lay on the table and no one was around! Hey, baby think twice before taking it. Maybe mom is going to gift some other kids or there is a VIP coming to dinner tonight. Likewise, pupils who eager to get a high score in the exam room are not dashing off the answer sheet when he or she is not very sure of the answer, as they know that carefully think will increase the possibility to get the right answer. And there is another kind of instances teaching the same lesson, which is of more significance for adults. Such as every time we take about the Watergate affair, it is embossed again in our mind that we should think what Nixon ended up with before playing with tricky games. These numerous examples are actually happening around us every day. Tuning on the TV, picking up the newspaper, or chatting with people at work, the reporters and newsmen on the screen and even your colleagues in the office are telling the stories of the persons who take wrong actions, and at last get the consequences in a miserable way. You are wise enough as you are taking them in, telling yourself that it is better to think another more time before what I am going to do. Thus it is not necessary to proclaim on the second thoughts as people have known this and have taken it as daily routine.

Except for the situation mentioned above, in which people are allowed to take time before action, there are going to be more and more cases, especially in the fast-pace natured world, that need prompt reactions for profits or even survival. Take Jordan, in the playground, for instance. Can you imagine that he was thinking whether to turn right or to withdraw hoding the ball in hand? The CNN will be crazy, the ESPN will be crazy, and you, sitting at the TV will be crazy too. And another example, which is more subtle, of 'quick reaction required' cases is happening continuously in Wall street every day; the stockbroker quickly picks up the phone on the down-going trends of the NASDAQ and sells the junks to save money; and vice versa. The more quick he or she acts, the little he or she is to lose and the more to profit. Those who lack the ability to take accurate actions quickly enough do not fit the competitive market. Admitted this is a risky game and some times people lost on quick actions, quick actions and reactions are essential and indispensable in the game. The game is marked with the unique nature, and who want to survive in it should have the aptitude of acting and reacting before carefully thinking, just like how Jordan plays on the ground.

But quick action does not come so easy as people may conceive. It is wrong to say that quick action is based on the innate talent of certain smart persons, such as Jordan in play or the profitable broker in Wall Street. Instead, the key is 'training'. Who knows how many hours Jordan practiced every day? Who knows many times the broker practices, maybe in virtual digital stock market games simulating the real market, before the first investment? Quick action is neither the castle in the air, nor harmful all the time; oppositely, it is needed in some field of the fast-paced world and can be of great value.

In sum, generally speaking, people do not apt to act too quickly, which is formed as a habit while we are growing up. What’s more, there are some cases in which it is needed to take action quickly before thinking about the consequences. However, in those cases the procedure of thinking the consequences is not omitted eventually; it is just put prior to the spot of the action.

blooming_leeUID: 135884

才3分。
（受打击了）

blooming_leeUID: 135884

我需要一些意见和建议。
还有4周偶就要考了，
如果只有3分的水平，
那个。。。。。。。。。。。。。

feier521UID: 109747

我帮blooming_lee MM 看看！
Along with the ever-accelerating pace of live（life） in the present-day world, people become more apt to 'think quickly' and 'react quickly' consequently. Thus it seems urgent to raise the message that people are too quick to take action and they should stop to think of the possible consequences of what they might do. （最好不要全部照搬原题）While in fact, there is no need to emphasize on （emphasize及物，去掉on）this, both because mostly（mostly放在这里有点别扭，好像是修饰people的） people will not take action before careful consideration and because in some occasions reacting quickly is the only way to profit, or even to survive. （）

In people's daily life, generally speaking, there always be（is） enough time for the second thought, and it is possible and usual for every one to take time before taking an action. We get the lesson of 'think twice before you do' or 'look before you leap' in our childhood, both in schools and family lives（前面不是有childhood了马?多余，不如去掉）. Thinking about days when we were children! Wow, there was a(不可数 a piece of ) hot cake, looking so delicious; lay(ing) on the table, and no one was around! Hey, baby think（s） twice before taking it. Maybe mom is going to gift some other kids or there is a VIP coming to dinner tonight.时态要一致,呵呵，要是我的话，肯定不管什么VIP，先干掉再说. 头一次见到这样的写法，新颖。不知道ETS 评分的怎么看？ Likewise, pupils who （are）eager to get a high score in the exam room are not dashing off the answer sheet when he or she（要前后一致 they） is not very sure of the answer, as they know that carefully think（careful thinking） will increase the possibility to get the right answer（罗索点，correct chances）. And there is another kind of instances teaching the same lesson（不如把分词短语去掉，还是有点罗索）, which is of more significance for adults. Such as every time we take(talk) about the Watergate affair, it is embossed again in our mind that we should think what Nixon ended up with before playing with tricky games. These numerous examples are actually happening around us every day. Tuning on the TV, picking up the newspaper, or chatting with people at work, the reporters and newsmen on the screen and even your colleagues in the office are telling the stories of the persons who take wrong actions, and at last get the consequences in a miserable way. You are wise enough as you are taking them in, telling yourself that it is better to think another more time before what I am going to do. Thus it is not necessary to proclaim（是不是及物的？） on the second thought（s） as people have known this and have taken it as daily routine.

Except for the situation mentioned above, in which people are allowed to（好像不被动的吧，上面的例子不是说人们主动去think吗？还有in which 前面可以用逗号隔开吗？我不是很肯定） take time before action, there are going to be more and more cases, especially in the fast-pace natured（？natural） world, that need prompt reactions for profits or even survival. Take Jordan, in the playground, for instance. Can you imagine that he was thinking whether to turn right or to withdraw holding the ball in hand?（乔丹的快速反映是为了profits 还是 survival？maybe survival） The CNN will be crazy, the ESPN will be crazy, and you, sitting at the TV will be crazy too（crazy？？我也crazy了，呵呵，好像例子与主旨无关）. And another example, which is more subtle, of 'quick reaction required' cases is happening continuously in Wall street every day; the stockbroker quickly picks up the phone on the down-going trends of the NASDAQ and sells the junks to save money; and vice versa. The more quick（quicker） he or she acts, the little（less） he or she is to lose and the more to profit（呵呵，赔的也是最惨）. Those who lack the ability to take accurate actions quickly enough do not fit（for） the competitive market. Admitted this is a risky game and some times people lost on （lose）quick actions, quick actions and reactions are essential and indispensable in the game.（有点罗索，不如改成risky as they are, quick actions and reactions are still essential and indispensable in this game.） The game is marked with the unique nature, and who（those） want to survive in it should have the aptitude of acting and reacting before carefully thinking, just like how Jordan plays on the ground.

But quick action does not come so easy as people may conceive. It is wrong to say that quick action is based on the innate talent of certain smart persons, such as Jordan in play or the profitable broker in Wall Street. Instead, the key is 'training'. Who knows how many hours Jordan practiced every day? Who knows many times the broker practices, maybe in virtual digital stock market (games) simulating the real market, before the first investment? Quick action is neither the castle in the air, nor harmful all the time（neither or 有问题，接并列成分）; oppositely, it is needed in some field（fields） of(in) the fast-paced world and(that) can be of great value.

In sum, generally speaking, people do not apt to act too（去掉too） quickly(和你第一段第一句话矛盾), which（指代什么？？） is formed as a habit while we（前面people后面we） are growing up. What’s more, there are some cases in which it is needed to (which need to) take action quickly before thinking about the consequences. However, in those cases the procedure of thinking the consequences is not omitted eventually; it is just put prior to the spot（position） of the action. (感觉最后几句好多的cases， 还是不要加上引申的观点为好)
前面说的观点说：不需要强调：三思而后行。因为人们会自动思考，也因为是人们获利和生存的需要。（也就是说人们行动之前已经考虑了结果）
结尾却说：人们先采取行动后考虑结果，我决的和topic 矛盾！
结尾要好好改改！

这么长？你开始计时了吗？
改了好久，有点头晕了，说的不知对否？呵呵

oopsoops1979UID: 112102

I think this essay is not as good as the issue you wrote in the article named  枯竭的springy,这里是偶刚刚写的，同题 in terms of language. Also the syntax genre was changed slightly in my personal view. I like the the former essay comapred this one.
Several words could be revised as:
enough---sufficient
possible---plausible, reasonable,
get the lesson---learn the lesson
do not use words like: get, make, because.... which are colloquial English.

blooming_leeUID: 135884

先谢谢feier和oopsoops。

这一篇没有记时，写写停停，花了一个多小时。
语言和结构好象真的挺松散的，可能和状态有关吧。

另外，关于前后一致的问题，
我原先是这样设计的：
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观点：不需要强调三思而后行。
1，基本上大家都是想好了再做的，这是习惯。
2，有些情况下，快速的反应是必需的。
3，然而上述情况下，快速反应其实也不是不加思索的，只是思考的过程提前了。
总结：不同意题目观点
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一则，我想我可能没有表达清楚。
二则，我想知道，如果表达方面没有问题，提纲本身是不是有前后不一的问题？

blooming_leeUID: 135884

需要指点，so....
up一下。

feier521UID: 109747

What’s more, there are some cases in which it is needed to take action quickly before thinking about the consequences. However, in those cases the procedure of thinking the consequences is not omitted eventually; it is just put prior to the spot of the action.

有些情况下，需要快速反映发生于思考结果之前的（有论证吗？你是不是想要让步一下啊？），然而，在上述情况下，思考的过程没有被忽略，只是思考的过程提前于行动之前了。
怎么看，都好像有点矛盾，不知道我理解的对不对？

blooming_leeUID: 135884

我再好好琢磨一下。