第一篇independent writing，求拍！谢谢！

雯声文语UID: 2808760

有些人认为他们可以靠自己或家人的帮助解决important problems，因此人们不需要政府的帮助


I agree in so far that many people can achieve their goal by their own efforts and by their family members' aid. However, when it comes to whether the help from the government is in need or not, the answer should be positive that the government's support is necessary for people to solve many important problems. In order to clarify the relationship between the personal efforts and the government's assistance towards one's achieving goals, a systematic and comprehensive analysis is in need.
To begin with, it is true that there are various kinds of important issues that can be solved by personal efforts and the help from family members. For instance, when a person is in lack of money, he can go to apply a position for himself in order to balance the need. Besides, he may also ask his relatives as well as friends for help, which can enable him to solve his financial crisis. Another apt illustration of this point is that when a person is go searching for a career, he can try his best to do many volunteer jobs in relative fields in advance, which can improve his competence and make it easier for the employer to hire him. Consequently, it is obvious that people can solve many important problems by themselves.
However, there also exist many situations when personal efforts cannot be sufficient to achieve the certain goal. Then it is time to ask for help from more powerful and prestigious community -the government-to solve the problem. An example can substantiate the significant role of the government in helping normal people. When two persons are in serious conflict with each other, and both claim that they are the victim, it is the government that is qualified to settle down the dispute. In addition, when residents are suffering from robbery, the governors can be able to take action and sentence the robber to jail according to the law and regulations.
Apart from that, when a disabled resident suffers from poverty, it is likely that he won't be able to do any job to earn money. And it is also improper for his relatives and friends to offer him money time and time again. Then the government should give him money to support his life. Consequently, it is obvious that government's help is very necessary to solve people's important problems.
To sum up, even though personal effort can be vital to solve many significant problems, sometimes it is also inevitable to resort to the government's support. And we should always try our best to pursue our life goals to make ourselves more qualified to solve many problems of importance.
请问下大家这种issue式的写法有助还是有害？十分感谢大家！