issue58 生活节奏加快的影响，欢迎大家排砖！

happyman2000UID: 136936

Issue 58 "The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves."
现代生活节奏的加快带来的问题远比他解决的问题多。

Admittedly it is true that the increasingly rapid pace of life today has lead to an unutterable disarrangement in psychology and physiology of modern people and thus to some extent reduced the quality of human life, but one should not go too far to unduly exaggerate its negative effects. As a matter of fact, what the rapid life tempo benefits modern people is far much greater than its potential harms.

First of all, the increasingly rapid pace of life contributes to the significant enhancement of modern society in efficiency, which is of vital importance to promote the progress of the society and the living quality of modern people. For any society, nothing is more critical than to create enough material products to satisfy all kinds of needs of people, only based on which other aspects of the society such as the arts, science, education and so on can make a stride forwards. Especially in this era when there is an intensive competition between different countries or organizations, any society that fails to do so is certain to undergo a serious social unrest or even upheaval. To grasp this point, one shouldn’t go too far to see the collapse of the former Soviet Union, who conducted an incredibly low proficiency in producing enough products that its people needed. However, the natural and social resources is limited and therefore the only way to satisfy the social needs best is to enhance the efficiency in all respects of the modern society—including industries, services, education, science and so on—as possible as the society can. In the process of enhancing proficiency, the intensity of laboring will inevitably increase, and the tempo of life will irresistibly rise. This tendency is unchangeable because it is the indispensable requirement and necessary result of the development of human civilization. One could not expect to obtain all the benefits of the human advancement while sacrificing a little.

Moreover, with the sustained development of the modern society, people who conduct a rapid tempo of life are greatly compensated in the otherwise forms. In the first place, undoubtedly people will enjoy much more material luxuries and convenience, many of which are unimaginable for even a few nobles in the past. In addition, the development of health services provides the modern busy people with highly modernized medical means, which can better ensure people’s health and vitality. All these material enjoyment is so desirable for any people that no body in reality would rather sacrifice it to obtain a so-called comfortable life style with slow pace though many of them complain about their busy life all the day. What is more, in the recent years there is a new tendency that people are more accessible to leisure time as a result of the advancement of science and technology as well as the enhancement of efficiency. Most people in the world only need to work for five days every week, compared with six days before. In some countries, people even work for 4 days one week and there are regular vacations every year waiting for them. All these mentioned above can serve a good compensation for the increasingly rapid tempo of life in modern people and greatly reduce the potential harms of this busy life style.

To sum up, compared with the great benefits in the form of efficiency, the potential harms of ever-increasingly rapid life today is far much less serious as many people imagined, which is especially true when various compensations are provided for people at present.   (586 words)

imongUID: 140258

又换一个脑袋？

第一段lead to an unutterable disarrangement in psychology and physiology of modern people and thus to some extent reduced the quality of human life加一个some会让程度和语气更加明显

第二段主体和rapid tempo有点脱节，感觉先扯远再扯回来似的。当然问题不是很严重，中间的顺序上适当调整，然后不时地refer to一下就好了。

第三段
people who conduct a rapid tempo of life are greatly compensated in the otherwise forms为什么要compensate（也就是他们损失了什么）最好说一下

many of which are unimaginable for even a few nobles正好反了，应该是unimaginable for the masses and perhaps available for only few nobles

现在我能做的改动已经很少了……呵呵……

ken0405UID: 124994

Issue 58 "The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves."
现代生活节奏的加快带来的问题远比他解决的问题多。
看你文章，舒服啊！
Admittedly it is true that the increasingly rapid pace of life today has lead to an unutterable disarrangement in psychology and physiology of modern people and thus to some extent reduced the quality of human life, but one should not go too far to unduly exaggerate its negative effects. As a matter of fact（这个词有转折的味道，不合适吧？）, what the rapid life tempo benefits modern people is far much greater than its potential harms.

First of all, the increasingly rapid pace of life contributes to the significant enhancement of modern society in efficiency, which is of vital importance to promote the progress of the society and the living quality of modern people. For any society, nothing is more critical than to create enough material products to satisfy all kinds of needs of people, only based on which（这个词有歧异） other aspects of the society such as the arts, science, education and so on can make a stride forwards. Especially in this era when there is an intensive competition between different countries or organizations, any society that fails to do so （什么意思？是指效率还是arts？）is certain to undergo a serious social unrest or even upheaval. To grasp this point, one shouldn’t go too far to （用GO NO FAR TO吧）see the collapse of the former Soviet Union, who conducted an incredibly low proficiency in producing enough products that its people needed. However, the natural and social resources is limited and therefore the only way to satisfy the social needs best is to enhance the efficiency in all respects of the modern society—including industries, services, education, science and so on—as possible as the society can. In the process of enhancing proficiency, the intensity of laboring will inevitably increase, and the tempo of life will irresistibly rise. This tendency is unchangeable because it is the indispensable requirement and necessary result of the development of human civilization. One could not expect to obtain all the benefits of the human advancement while sacrificing a little. （这个是不是分开好点，admittedly有害处）这段的观点很捞哟，有点吧。可不可以清楚一点呢？？快节奏到底带来了什么，生活质量的提高（具体？），物质的丰富（具体？），精神文明的基础？

Moreover, with the sustained development of the modern society, people who conduct a rapid tempo of life are greatly compensated in the otherwise forms. In the first place, undoubtedly people will enjoy much more material luxuries and convenience,（具体？） many of which are unimaginable for even a few nobles in the past. In addition, the development of health services provides the modern busy people with highly modernized medical means, which can better ensure people’s health and vitality.（这是个好观点，可是具体快节奏的生活为什么会导致这样的结果呢？你没说） All these material enjoyment is so desirable for any people that no body in reality would rather sacrifice it to obtain a so-called comfortable life style with slow pace though many of them complain about their busy life all the day. What is more, in the recent years there is a new tendency（这个很模糊的概念） that people are more accessible to leisure time as a result of the advancement of science and technology as well as the enhancement of efficiency. Most people in the world only need to work for five days every week, compared with six days before. In some countries, people even work for 4 days one week and there are regular vacations every year waiting for them. All these mentioned above can serve a good compensation for the increasingly rapid tempo of life in modern people and greatly reduce the potential harms of this busy life style.（这后面几句倒挺好的）
但是你的文章有点空空的（感觉），没有具体话（只是空空的说一句，结果会怎么样）
我一直以为与其眉毛胡子全部覆盖，还不如深入一点说他个彻彻底底。

To sum up, compared with the great benefits in the form of efficiency, the potential harms of ever-increasingly rapid life today is far much less serious as many people imagined, which is especially true when various compensations are provided for people at present. (586 words)

happyman2000UID: 136936

多谢二位细致的评改! 感激不尽！

happyman2000UID: 136936

第二段的确有点扯远和跑题的感觉 ！

GcanadaUID: 118286

Admittedly it is true that the increasingly rapid pace of life today has lead to an unutterable disarrangement in psychology and physiology of modern people and thus to some extent reduced the quality of human life, but one should not go too far to unduly exaggerate its negative effects. As a matter of fact, what the rapid life tempo benefits modern people is far much greater than its potential harms.
这段说的很不错,
下面就是应该来说说,快给我们带来什么,而且是好的方面:

1,说说交通方面的,飞机,地铁,快餐,这些都提供给人们更快更舒适的生活,飞机解决我们路途遥远所带给我们疲惫的问题,地铁可以加快节奏,使得花在回家上班的时间减少,更有时间来relax或做别的事情,同样快餐也是.
2 正是由这些快节奏使的工作效率提高,效率的提高是很重要,有了高效率才能解决低效率的问题,举例,一个国家生产粮食都有问题,导致社会动乱(同以前社会底效率做个对比),再如工作,一家公司如果效率低,它所能站在市场上的能力是几乎不可能的,所以快节奏给它高效率来解决这个问题!
3,也正如快的生活节奏有高的效率,使的工作提前完成,换来的是人们生活的更加舒适,有假日,工作日一再的减少等等
总结

不知道写的怎么样,只是发发自己的一点愚见,欢迎指正!谢谢!

happyman2000UID: 136936

好！把我想说而没说出来的东西说出来了！