issue202 写的有些变态。希望大家给些建议。3X

shaohaoMTUID: 137980

Issue 202
Unlike great thinkers and great artists ,the most effective political leaders must often yield to the public opinion and abandon the principles for the sake of comprise.
With the respect of history, today’s democratic sructure of politic roots deeply in ancient Greek philosophers’ advocation for the respect of public and individual beings, their admiration of the egalitarian, and the eagerness for justice as well as the electoral system specially devised to surpvise those in power. The Renaissance taking place in Europe and the democratic Revolution booted up by Neapoleon in France both have produced great thinkers who demand the restiction of the politicians’ power and authority, labeling the end of an era in which politicians could lay their hands on almost every objects of demand. Driven by this trend, the contemporary politicians obstensibly deprived of certain freedom enjoyed by most artists and scientists could no longer behave in the way they would like to. These people, taking the responsibility of the democratic government, are restained from several aspects. These restriction mainly comes from the public’s desire and different groups’ attitudes.

Although being neglected sometimes, the artists and the scientists still adhere to their own resposibilities ,appear undisturbed and display astonishing indifference to the public. Such right is deserved as to artists and scientists, since their insightful thoughts and complicated feeling about life far go beyond what normal people may achieve. Frustrated and deterred by these maestoes, publics turn to the other extreme—ingnoring these great thinkers and even cursing them as heretics that destroy the current harmony. Again, scientists and artists enjoy the freedom to obliterate the infuence laid on them by the mundane world since their interests are just focused on the exploration of the purity of the truth and reviporating the perfect memory of the past or wonderful visions about future,rather than caring for the public’s benefits. During such process, they just jump out of the world and objectively describe it, any scorns or restrictions are treated as part of the object they are proceeing, and this is just the hits of their successs. Sometimes, certain behavior that even force the community members away from communicating with these elites are taken as pride in that artists and scientists could enmploy their free time to continue their interest.

On the other hand, never would the politician own such comparatively broad freedom. As for a politician,the key to success in politics is to gain and maintain political power. Such power comes from certain identification of the public morality with the politician’s private one and the balance of different groups’ benefits and demands. Consequently, the politician’s attitudes, behavior and even the life style are tightly restricted for fear that any diversion from public’s taste may conduce  to losing authority which is a real tragedy for a politician. To be an effective political leader excludes the opportunity that a politician may taste the freedom of the same merits as that enjoyed by artists and scientists, the freedom characterd by consciously seperating oneself from commentary and neglecting the demands made by majority. The successful leadership could be achieved by submerging oneself into the public and being sufficiently preparaed for sacrificing some freedom for the majority’s benefits.

It is always funny to imagine what will happen to a special politician who could share a scientist or an artist’s freedom. When this politician is bored at the legitimate meeting that is being broadcast by media agencies, he escape to have a chess with his child. Subsequently, critics begin to accumulate the disatisfaction of the public to attack this leader’s lacking responsobility of the public affairs. Morever, he may again utilize the freedom to isolate himself from the public pressure by flying out to have a summer holiday. Then, only one thing can be assured, our special politician is deprived of the right to initiate his power which is a symbol of the end of his political life.

The development of technology and recognition of our society require both politicains and insightful thinkers. However, the democratic system of our contemporary world fix two distinct sets of freedom that could enjoyed by them.While we agree that artists and scientists enjoy the comparatively broad one, we can not expect the political leaders to have opportunity to taste it.

不知怎的，写文章越来越专注理论论证，缺乏事实根据。我看到ETS的SAMPLE例子的深度与广度很好。希望大家给些建议，如何恰当的写出有力的例子。
提纲上说什么：有利于社会发展之类的话。我觉得太空泛了。能不能有所改进啊？
3Q

paisleyUID: 64183

写得很不错呀！虽然是纯粹的说理，但是逻辑很好，文笔也不错，读来并不觉得空洞或枯燥。所以我也不觉得非要例子不可。当然，如果有比较合适的例子，放一两个，肯定也是好的。

唯一的缺陷（我的个人感觉）：题目更强调politician，需要着重论述的对象是政治家，提出艺术家只是为了做个对比，但是你在这二者上花的力气差不多，平分秋色，似乎有点不符合命题人的原意。

当然，我的理解也不一定对，欢迎大家讨论！

xbdebbUID: 142129

Issue 202
Unlike great thinkers and great artists ,the most effective political leaders must often yield to the public opinion and abandon the principles for the sake of comprise.
With the respect of history, today’s democratic structure() of politic roots deeply in ancient Greek philosophers’ advocation for the respect of public and individual beings, their admiration of the egalitarian, and the eagerness for justice as well as the electoral system specially devised to surpvise() those in power. The Renaissance taking place in Europe and the democratic Revolution booted up by Neapoleon in France both have produced great thinkers who demand the restriction() of the politicians’ power and authority, labeling the end of an era in which politicians could lay their hands on almost every objects of demand. Driven by this trend, the contemporary politicians obstensibly deprived of certain freedom enjoyed by most artists and scientists could no longer behave in the way they would like to. These people, taking the responsibility of the democratic government, are restained from several aspects. These restriction mainly comes from the public’s desire and different groups’ attitudes.

Although being neglected sometimes, the artists and the scientists still adhere to their own responsibilities() ,appear undisturbed and display astonishing indifference to the public. Such right is deserved as to artists and scientists, since their insightful thoughts and complicated feeling about life far go beyond what normal people may achieve. Frustrated and deterred by these maestoes(), publics turn to the other extreme—ingnoring() these great thinkers and even cursing them as heretics that destroy the current harmony. Again, scientists and artists enjoy the freedom to obliterate the infuence laid on them by the mundane world since their interests are just focused on the exploration of the purity of the truth and reviporating() the perfect memory of the past or wonderful visions about future,rather than caring for the public’s benefits. During such process, they just jump out of the world and objectively describe it, any scorns or restrictions are treated as part of the object they are proceeding(), and this is just the hits of their successs(). Sometimes, certain behavior that even force the community members away from communicating with these elites are taken as pride in that artists and scientists could enmploy() their free time to continue their interest.

On the other hand, never would the politician own such comparatively broad freedom. As for a politician,the key to success in politics is to gain and maintain political power. Such power comes from certain identification of the public morality with the politician’s private one and the balance of different groups’ benefits and demands. Consequently, the politician’s attitudes, behavior and even the life style are tightly restricted for fear that any diversion from public’s taste may conduce to losing authority which is a real tragedy for a politician. To be an effective political leader excludes the opportunity that a politician may taste the freedom of the same merits as that enjoyed by artists and scientists, the freedom characterd by consciously seperating oneself from commentary and neglecting the demands made by majority. The successful leadership could be achieved by submerging oneself into the public and being sufficiently preparaed for sacrificing some freedom for the majority’s benefits.

It is always funny to imagine what will happen to a special politician who could share a scientist or an artist’s freedom. When this politician is bored at the legitimate meeting that is being broadcast by media agencies, he escape to have a chess with his child. Subsequently, critics begin to accumulate the disatisfaction of the public to attack this leader’s lacking responsobility of the public affairs. Morever, he may again utilize the freedom to isolate himself from the public pressure by flying out to have a summer holiday. Then, only one thing can be assured, our special politician is deprived of the right to initiate his power which is a symbol of the end of his political life.

The development of technology and recognition of our society require both politicains and insightful thinkers. However, the democratic system of our contemporary world fix two distinct sets of freedom that could enjoyed by them.While we agree that artists and scientists enjoy the comparatively broad one, we can not expect the political leaders to have opportunity to taste it.


太多的拼写错误　放到word里侃侃把

imongUID: 140258

一楼写得很好，绝不会少于5分，应该可以6了

纠正一个错误 ostensible不是obstensible，开头没有那个b

我也没想出太好的例子来
重点在great thinker/artist, most effective leader（限定词）, public opinion, compromise & abandon principle
great thinker/artist可以做maverick而leader不行，由于对民众的责任导致必须承受的束缚，public opinion和support密切相关，没有support是无法做到effective的。
这几天看报纸，有一个例子。一般国家对待大毒枭的态度是严惩不赦，而10年前哥伦比亚曾经出台政策欢迎毒枭投降，并且保证他们的安全，给他们建造了疗养院一般的豪华监狱。这也算是一种compromise，但是给民众带来了幸福，暴力和血腥，暗杀，都相应的减少了，也受到了民众的支持和欢迎。应该是这种compromise的出台就是因为以前的两方面互相打击太多了，结果民众倒霉，自然会形成舆论压力。

并不是太好想啊，但愿考试不要遇见吧

happyman2000UID: 136936

Unlike great thinkers and great artists ,the most effective political leaders must often yield to the public opinion and abandon the principles for the sake of comprise.
前几位都给以高度评价，我也来拜读拜读！

With the respect of history, today’s democratic sructure of politic roots deeply in ancient Greek philosophers’ advocation for the respect of public and individual beings, their admiration of（for）the egalitarian, and the eagerness for justice as well as the electoral system specially devised to surpvise (supervise) those in power. The Renaissance taking place in Europe and the democratic Revolution booted(boosted) up by Neapoleon(Napoleon) in France both have produced great thinkers (孟德斯就、卢梭等思想家产生于法国大革命之前)who demand the restiction of the politicians’ power and authority, labeling the end of an era in which politicians could lay their hands on almost every objects of demand. （个人觉得这个论述有点草率。我对政治思想了解不多，也不肯定。）Driven by this trend, the contemporary politicians obstensibly deprived of certain freedom enjoyed by most artists and scientists could no longer behave in the way they would like to. These people, taking the responsibility of the democratic government, are restained from several aspects. These restriction mainly comes from the public’s desire and different groups’ attitudes. 这段主要谈政治思想的演变，现代社会强调对政治权力进行制约。很好，给人有深度的感觉!
不过，也许提一下美国的Washington, Thomas Jefferson等人的影响会更好些。还有，虽然我不大懂政治学，但我还是建议你对于理论化较强的东西，最好要把握准确点，万一遇到一个搞政治学的家伙给你条骨头怎么办？

Although being neglected sometimes, the artists and the scientists still adhere to their own resposibilities ,appear undisturbed and display astonishing indifference to the public. Such right is deserved as to artists and scientists, since their insightful thoughts and complicated feeling about life far go beyond what normal people may achieve. Frustrated and deterred by these maestoes, publics turn to the other extreme—ingnoring these great thinkers and even cursing them as heretics that destroy the current harmony. Again, scientists and artists enjoy the freedom to obliterate the infuence laid on them by the mundane world since their interests are just focused on the exploration of the purity of the truth and reviporating the perfect memory of the past or wonderful visions about future,rather than caring for the public’s benefits. During such process, they just jump out of the world and objectively describe it, any scorns or restrictions are treated as part of the object they are proceeing, and this is just the hits of their successs. Sometimes, certain behavior that even force the community members away from communicating with these elites are taken as pride in that artists and scientists could enmploy their free time to continue their interest.  
Paisley说得没错，这段的确有些扯远了。基本上可以删掉。  

On the other hand, never would the politician own such comparatively broad freedom. As for a politician,the key to success in politics is to gain and maintain political power. Such power comes from certain identification of the public morality with the politician’s private one and the balance of different groups’ benefits and demands. Consequently, the politician’s attitudes, behavior and even the life style are tightly restricted for fear that any diversion from public’s taste may conduce to losing authority which is a real tragedy for a politician. To be an effective political leader excludes the opportunity that a politician may taste the freedom of the same merits as that enjoyed by artists and scientists, the freedom characterd by consciously seperating oneself from commentary and neglecting the demands made by majority. The successful leadership could be achieved by submerging oneself into the public and being sufficiently preparaed for sacrificing some freedom for the majority’s benefits. 这段很好，说理清楚。

It is always funny to imagine what will happen to a special politician who could share a scientist or an artist’s freedom. When this politician is bored at the legitimate meeting that is being broadcast by media agencies, he escape to have a chess with his child. Subsequently, critics begin to accumulate the disatisfaction of the public to attack this leader’s lacking responsobility of the public affairs. Morever, he may again utilize the freedom to isolate himself from the public pressure by flying out to have a summer holiday. Then, only one thing can be assured, our special politician is deprived of the right to initiate his power which is a symbol of the end of his political life. 这段是上断的的反证吧！反证法很流行，但我觉得多数情况下是毫无必要的。如果你的正面论述过于抽象，或者正面论述无法展开时，反正法很有效。但是如果你的正面论述已经很充分很到位的话，再加一个反面论述，只能有一个解释：凑字数！


The development of technology and recognition of our society require both politicains and insightful thinkers. However, the democratic system of our contemporary world fix two distinct sets of freedom that could enjoyed by them.While we agree that artists and scientists enjoy the comparatively broad one, we can not expect the political leaders to have opportunity to taste it.

总体上讲是一片好文章，有思想有深度，文笔也好。
拼写错误的确太多，要注意！
这篇文章的最大问题是结构，我觉得有两段是多余的。第一段和后面几段的逻辑关系也不大清楚。
我觉得政治家为什么需要妥协，有三大理由：1，正如你所说的，选举问题，不妥协无法上台。2，权力制约，西方国家普遍建立了三权分立制度，还有舆论监督等是政治家不得不妥协。3，政治权力的特殊性。政治行为是集体行为，任何政治家的行为都涉及到大众参与的问题。没有别人的理解与支持，任何政治决策必将失败。独立特行在政治领域完全行不通，这是政治家与科学家、艺术家的重要区别之一。即使在独裁社会也是如此，皇帝也要妥协。

可能我的意见比较尖锐! 不一定正确。共勉！

gangstaUID: 141790

我的观点和楼上几位差不多。
总的来说是篇好文章。

titicacaUID: 142684

好羡慕啊，真想知道楼主的词汇是怎么掌握的，可以用的这么好
有些新概念的风格了

你的形容词用的好好，有人建议多背一些形容词，可是光背不会用啊

angle123UID: 105697

知识太渊博了，不过我觉得的第二段是不是太多了，分析语法，artists 不过是一个从句，几句话代过就可以了， 还有啊，平协错误太多了
其他我觉得挺好了，佩服之至