issue65上考场前的最后一篇issue，大家一定帮忙看看。

00foxUID: 112731

今天是考前最后一天上网了，希望大家能给我的文章提一点宝贵的意见，好让我最后总结一下。

红字是规定时间外补的.

65 "People have been so encouraged by society to focus on apparent differences that they fail to see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups."

I strongly agree with the statement that in the current days, the advocate of differences have been put on such a light and we often ignore the meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals and groups. However, those similarities are just what these differences derive form, and without those intrinsic similarities, the society cannot be organized as a whole and never mention organized in a harmonious and prosperous manner.

As a social being, we should detect that as the society come into being, there is some intrinsic bond that ties the individuals with diverse personality together and form a society as we defined. And of all these intrinsic bond, I'll first mention the most important one-LOVE. Just as sung in the song "talk about love" by Cilon Dion: "form the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown-up man, there is a thread that run right through us and make us understood...….let's talk about
Love……" Yes, it is the love between colleagues that we form friendship; the love of child, love of parents, love of your lover that we form the ties of family; and it is the love of nation and motherland we build a country. this intrinsic feeling of love have been formed in the old days once forever. And it is this similarity that contribute to a harmonious society. We could believe that only with the annihilation of the human being as a species will this similarity also disappear.

secondly, I'll mention an other intrinsic similarities between all the people-The lure of wonder, the curiosity of knowing what is unknown and what is next. It is this intrinsic similarity stimulates all the people from vast background endeavor forever and eventually overcome every obstacles that lies ahead in the history of human being's long evolution, and it is this common intrinsic that urge and push us forward again and again and finally achieve such prosperous world as it is today. Without such a common intrinsic stimulator, we could imagine that we are still live in the vast forest and behave just as any other apes or monkeys do.

From the words above, we have seen that it is the common intrinsic feeling of love and curiosity that helps and enable the human being to step forward and live in a society. And all those differences we advocate today are actually existing on the basis of these similarities: we advocate new ideas, we welcome new inventions, we make breakthrough out of conventions; they are all the byproduct of the intrinsic similarity which is called curiosity. And while we advocate individualism and encourage people to hold their unique values about life, we never teach our people to cast their love aside to make his/her personal goal. For without the love of life and the love of others, no one could achieve anything worthwhile in our society.

In sum, there are some intrinsic similarities among people and they are the very basis of the survival and prosperity of our society, we could advocate differences but never contradict those intrinsic similarities.

imongUID: 140258

I strongly agree with the statement that in the current days, the advocate （不是名词）of differences have been put on such a light （？）and we often ignore the meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals and groups. However, those similarities are just what these differences derive form, and without those intrinsic similarities, the society cannot be organized as a whole and never（and never改成 ,not to mention，注意逗号） mention organized in a harmonious and prosperous manner.

As a social being, we should detect that as the society come into being, there is some intrinsic bond that ties the individuals with diverse personality together and form a society as we defined. And of all these intrinsic bond, I'll first mention the most important one-LOVE. Just as sung in the song "talk about love" by Cilon（Celion） Dion: "form the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown-up man, there is a thread that run right through us and make us understood...….let's talk about Love……" Yes, it is the love between colleagues that we form friendship; the love of child, love of parents, love of your lover that we form the ties of family; and it is the love of nation and motherland we build a country. this intrinsic feeling of love have been formed in the old days once forever. And it is this similarity that contribute to a harmonious society. We could believe that only with the annihilation of the human being as a species will this similarity also disappear. （最后一句话有点煞风景）

secondly, I'll mention an other intrinsic similarities between all the people-The lure of wonder, the curiosity of knowing what is unknown and what is next. It is this intrinsic similarity （少一个that）stimulates all the people from vast background endeavor forever and eventually overcome every obstacles that lies ahead in the history of human being's long evolution, and it is this common intrinsic that urge and push us forward again and again and finally achieve such prosperous world as it is today. Without such a common intrinsic stimulator, we could imagine that we are still live in the vast forest and behave just as any other apes or monkeys do.

From the words above, we have seen that it is the common intrinsic feeling of love and curiosity that helps and enable the human being to step forward and live in a society. And all those differences we advocate today are actually existing on the basis of these similarities: we advocate new ideas, we welcome new inventions, we make breakthrough out of conventions; they are all the byproduct of the intrinsic similarity which is called curiosity. And while we advocate individualism and encourage people to hold their unique values about life, we never teach our people to cast their love aside to make his/her personal goal. For without the love of life and the love of others, no one could achieve anything worthwhile in our society. 这一段内容上还显得单薄
In sum, there are some intrinsic similarities among people and they are the very basis of the survival and prosperity of our society, we could advocate differences but never contradict those intrinsic similarities.

明天好好考！

QQsugarUID: 136441

Anyway, keep up your courage and be yourself!
Good luck to you, fox:-)

happyman2000UID: 136936

你是不是赌这道题?我先看看！

GcanadaUID: 118286

明天考试了?
我后天,先祝你考好,
你的文章我吃完饭好好的看看!
今天写晕,现在要去换脑一下!

00foxUID: 112731

我不是明天考，是后天：8.28
但是我明天一早就要坐车从重庆到成都，估计下午才能到达。到那里后还要去找住处，看考场，可能没什么时间看书了。 所以今天算是最后一天。

xbdebbUID: 142129

猛男　＋Ｕ　

GcanadaUID: 118286

感觉这个题目挺难的,
你的观点是赞成的,
可是你在行文过程中,你好象在强调similarity,
但是文章的题目是说,太过于强调不同而没有看到相似,你好象没有论述这点?
我感觉我没有看出来,
你还是好好休息,准备考试吧,
祝考好,我们是同一天的:)

GcanadaUID: 118286

哦,看错了,对不起!
你来了大转折,
不过你在第一段这么做很冒险啊,
例子还可以!

angle123UID: 105697

总体感觉你第一段润色比较多，我的意见是第一段另可简单点，也要保证最后一段

feier521UID: 109747

好多人都是28号考哦，fox、 Gcanada，加油！！

00foxUID: 112731

恩，大家的意见都看了，可是现在好像也没有什么大改动的必要了。总之考场上不一定就是这个题。

还有Gcanada，我们一起加油呀！

GcanadaUID: 118286

恩,加油!

feier521UID: 109747

65 "People have been so encouraged by society to focus on apparent differences that they fail to see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups."

I strongly agree with the statement that in the current days, the advocate(不如用advocation) of differences have(has) been put on such a light（？has been highlighted） and we often ignore the meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals and groups. However, those similarities are just what these differences derive form（from）, and without those intrinsic similarities, the society cannot be organized as a whole and never mention organized in a harmonious and prosperous manner(直接点：can not be organized in a harmonious and prosperous manner.).

As a social being(social beings), we should detect that as the society come(s) into being, there is some intrinsic bond that ties the individuals with diverse personality(复数) together and form a society as we defined. And of all these intrinsic bond（s）, I'll first mention the most important one-LOVE. Just as sung（sang） in the song "talk about love" by Cilon Dion: "（主语在那里？）form the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown-up man, there is a thread that run right through us and make us understood...….let's talk about Love……" Yes, it is the love between colleagues that （we删掉） form friendship; the love of child, love of parents, love of your lover that （we） form the ties of family; and it is the love of nation and motherland （we） build a country（注意强调句式，去掉it is…that，句子成分不变）. this intrinsic feeling of love have（had） been formed in the old days once forever. And it is this similarity that contribute(s) to a harmonious society. We could believe that only with the annihilation of the human being (as a species别扭，删掉) will this similarity also disappear.

Secondly, I'll mention an other intrinsic similarities（another intrinsic similarity） between all the people-The lure（动词，enticement如何？） of wonder（好像不大合适）, the curiosity of knowing what is unknown and what is next. It is this intrinsic similarity （that不能省）stimulates all the people from vast background(s) endeavor forever and eventually overcome every obstacle(s删掉) that lies ahead in the history of human being's long evolution, and it is this common intrinsic (adj.) that urge(s) and push(s) us forward again and again and finally achieve(s) such prosperous world as it is today. Without such a common intrinsic stimulator, we could imagine that we (are删掉) still live in the vast forest and behave just as any other apes or monkeys do.

From the words above, we have seen that it is the common intrinsic feeling of love and curiosity that helps and enable(s) the human being to step forward and live in a society. And all those differences we advocate today are actually existing(还是用一般现在时好点) on the basis of these similarities: we advocate new ideas, we welcome new inventions, we make breakthrough out of conventions; they are all the byproduct(s) of the intrinsic similarity which is called curiosity. And while we advocate individualism and encourage people to hold their unique values about life, we never teach our people to cast their love aside to make his/her(their) personal goal. For（because） without the love of life and the love of others, no one could achieve anything worthwhile in our society.

In sum, there are some intrinsic similarities among people and they are the very basis of the survival and prosperity of our society, we could advocate differences but never contradict those intrinsic similarities.

狐狸，注意你的单复数和第三人称单数！还有强调句的使用！
祝你考个好成绩！！！！

happyman2000UID: 136936

65 "People have been so encouraged by society to focus on apparent differences that they fail to see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups."

I strongly agree with the statement that in the current days, the advocate of differences have（has）been put on such a light and(用that是不是可以把这两句连起来？) we often ignore the meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals and groups. However, those similarities are just what these differences derive form, and without those intrinsic similarities, the society cannot be organized as a whole and never mention（not to mention）organized in a harmonious and prosperous manner. 转折However感觉不大对劲，however后面的东西好像不是对前面的否定呀！

As a social being, we should detect that as the society come into being, there is some intrinsic bond that ties the individuals with diverse personality together and form a society as we defined. And of all these intrinsic bond, I'll first mention the most important one-LOVE. Just as sung in the song "talk about love" by Cilon Dion: "form the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown-up man, there is a thread that run right through us and make us understood...….let's talk about
Love……" Yes, it is the love between colleagues that we form friendship; the love of child, love of parents, love of your lover that we form the ties of family; and it is the love of nation and motherland we build a country. this intrinsic feeling of love have been formed in the old days once forever. And it is this similarity that contribute（s）to a harmonious society. We could believe that only with the annihilation of the human being as a species will this similarity also disappear.
观点很深刻，建议是开头时把那个bond解释一下，不要到了最后才说bond就是similarity

secondly, I'll mention an other intrinsic similarities between all the people-The lure of wonder, the curiosity of knowing what is unknown and what is next. It is this intrinsic similarity stimulates all the people from vast background endeavor forever and eventually overcome every obstacles that lies ahead in the history of human being's long evolution, and it is this common intrinsic that urge and push us forward again and again and finally achieve such prosperous world as it is today. Without such a common intrinsic stimulator, we could imagine that we are still live in the vast forest and behave just as any other apes or monkeys do. 讲了另外一个共同点。

From the words above, we have seen that it is the common intrinsic feeling of love and curiosity that helps and enable（s）the human being to step forward and live in a society. And all those differences we advocate today are actually existing on the basis of these similarities: we advocate new ideas, we welcome new inventions, we make breakthrough out of conventions; they are all the byproduct of the intrinsic similarity which is called curiosity. And while we advocate individualism and encourage people to hold their unique values about life, we never teach our people to cast their love aside to make his/her personal goal. For without the love of life and the love of others, no one could achieve anything worthwhile in our society. 观点是有点牵强。

In sum, there are some intrinsic similarities among people and they are the very basis of the survival and prosperity of our society, we could advocate differences but never contradict those intrinsic similarities.


语言很不错了，读起来很舒服，肯定是高分作文的水准。
主要问题是内容上的，总感觉你的理由有些牵强。这个题目主要是要你分析强调共同点或不同点的利弊，而你只是指出了人类的两个共同点。至于共同点如何重要，你没有深入展开论述。
马上要考试了，就不要再想别的了，祝马到成功！