issue130，请大侠们看看吧

ceciliarenUID: 138976

issue130

“how childeren are socialized today。。。”

Children, often described as the hope and future of a nation, will shoulder the important responsibility of the construction of our country and the thriving of the nation. In this sense, their growing is related to the destiny of a country. Moreover, as the trend of globalization is becoming obvious, the ability to adapt to the society and socialized with the other members is crucial to the development of a our nation. Nevertheless, although we have realized this problem, it seems that we did not do enough about it to prepare our children for our better society.

The socialization, defined as cooperate , compromise with other members of society and better adapt to the rapidly changing of the society, is so important to every country especially in this global world. IN future, the spirit of cooperate is becoming increasingly significant because that many global problems require the collaborate endeavor of many nations in the world. Consider, for instance, the global environmental problem, the depleting of the ozone which will warm our earth into a dangerous level, the disarming of mass destruction weapons, the global epidemic disease, all of these can't be solved only depends on one country's endeavor. So for the future leaders, possessing the ability of socialization means a great benefit not only to one nation but to the world as a whole.

Even in a society, the capacity of tolerance and respects will make the community a more solidate one, which will greatly contributes to the thriving of the country. When the children are growing into working adults, what they are facing is how to better adapt to the new environment- that is, how to better get along with others, which will make them at the utmost productivity. Learning to accept the different views and appreciate the virtue of the coworkers, supervisors and subordinates is crucial to a better cooperation of a community and the coo of a nation. Moreover, in a technical-driven ever-changing society, how to keep pace to the development and quickly absorb the new knowledge is very important too. ALL of these, it seemed that is our educationalist’s responsibility to cultivate our children to be a qualified members of society.   

What we should instill in children is not only rote knowledge and technical skills but rather a set of value and standards which will guide them how to better socialized. today, what we are often emphasize is learning skills for the job with the ignorance of more important thing. A set of values will provide children a guidance to determine which goal is worthwhile and whether the means to reach the goal is ethically and morally acceptable -that is, make us better put our rote knowledge into use in the working world.

Finally, every child has his or her own outlook of the value and the world. Even though not mature, it will lead to the diversification of the world, which is an important quality of a better society. However, there lies some possibility that our intentional socialization education will efface such kind of difference in children’s thought, because we tell every children what they can and cannot do, what society is a good society, you everyone should follow this way and construct that kind of society. Were this to happen, it would be a tragedy to society and to humanity. So each child need a individual course of socialization education which is specially designed for him or her, while it is neither feasible nor possible to force every couple of parents and every teacher to take the pain to do this. So it is another difficulty of the children-socialization problem.

In conclusion, even little ignorance, underestimate the growing of our children will make us feel guilty since we will never that they are the future of our society. Especially what we must focusing on is cultivate the socialize ability which is more crucial to the development of a nation.

grillUID: 138097

Children, often described(viewed,considered) as the hope and future of a nation, will shoulder the important responsibility of the construction of our country and the thriving of the nation. In this sense, their growing is related (crucial)to the destiny of a country. Moreover, as the trend of globalization is becoming obvious, the ability to adapt to the society and socialized(去掉ed,最好用collaborate) with the other members is crucial to the development of a our nation. Nevertheless, although we have realized this problem, it seems that we did not do enough about it to prepare our children for our better society.

The socialization, defined as cooperate , compromise with other members of society and better adapt to the rapidly changing of the society, is so important to every country especially in this global world. IN (In)future, the spirit of cooperate is becoming increasingly significant because that many global problems require the collaborate endeavor of many nations in the world. Consider, for instance, the global environmental problem, the depleting of the ozone which will warm our earth into a dangerous level, the disarming of mass destruction weapons, the global epidemic disease, all of these can't be solved only depends on one country's endeavor. So for the future leaders, possessing the ability of socialization means a great benefit not only to one nation but to the world as a whole. (你的这些例子很好，但是跟你的论点联系不紧密，global problems需要国家之间的合作，但是你要跟孩子的socialization联系上）

Even in a society, the capacity of tolerance and respects will make the community a more solidate one, which will greatly contributes to the thriving of the country. When the children are growing into working adults, what they are facing is how to better adapt to the new environment- that is, how to better get along with others, which will make them at the utmost productivity. Learning to accept the different views and appreciate the virtue of the coworkers, supervisors and subordinates is crucial to a better cooperation of a community and the coo of a nation. Moreover, in a technical-driven ever-changing society, how to keep pace to the development and quickly absorb the new knowledge is very important too. ALL of these, it seemed that is our educationalist’s responsibility to cultivate our children to be a qualified members of society.

What we should instill in children is not only rote knowledge and technical skills but rather a set of value and standards which will guide them how to better socialized. today, what we are often emphasize is learning skills for the job with the ignorance of more important thing. A set of values will provide children a guidance to determine which goal is worthwhile and whether the means to reach the goal is ethically and morally acceptable -that is, make us better put our rote knowledge into use in the working world.

Finally, every child has his or her own outlook of the value and the world. Even though not mature, it will lead to the diversification of the world, which is an important quality of a better society. However, there lies some possibility that our intentional socialization education will efface such kind of difference in children’s thought, because we tell every children what they can and cannot do, what society is a good society, you everyone should follow this way and construct that kind of society. Were this to happen, it would be a tragedy to society and to humanity. So each child need a individual course of socialization education which is specially designed for him or her, while it is neither feasible nor possible to force every couple of parents and every teacher to take the pain to do this. So it is another difficulty of the children-socialization problem.

In conclusion, even little ignorance, underestimate the growing of our children will make us feel guilty since we will never that （they are the future of our society）这句话太中国化，完全可以换个说法。例如：a country's prospers is largely detremined by the quality and values of children deleloped in their early ages"  in the future . Especially what we must focusing on is cultivate the socialize ability which is more crucial to the development of a nation.


我只是看了一点而已，不好意思，没有时间，我也快考了。好话不用说，挑缺点吧。你有时候写着就有点偏题了，题目一定要扣准，而且我感觉你的socialization理解太狭隘。。。

imongUID: 140258

Children, often described as the hope and future of a nation, will shoulder the important responsibility（important responsibility感觉不好） of the construction of our country and the thriving of the nation（不搭配，shoulder the thriving）. In this sense, their growing is related to the destiny of a country.（前后反过来。growing用得不好） Moreover, as the trend of globalization is becoming（直接becomes） obvious, the ability to adapt to the society and socialized with（？） the other members is（前边用了一个过程，后边却是一般态，语感上不平行） crucial to the development of a our nation. Nevertheless（好像不太对啊？你要表达的是尽管的意思？而且后边还有although，有点啰嗦）, although we have realized this problem, it seems that we did not（语态） do enough about it to prepare our children for our better society. 很显眼的毛病是不注意到词语的搭配，有些时候中文的搭配是不能够照搬的。而且两次出现语态上的indiscrete usage，反而限制了你真正要表达的东西。

The socialization, defined as cooperate , compromise with other members of society and better adapt to the rapidly changing of the society（三个项目又是不平行，建议最好不要在adapt前边加better，而且应该用to或者变成动名词）, is so（so感觉不好！） important to every country especially in this global world. IN future, the spirit（sense） of cooperate（名词是cooperation） is becoming increasingly significant because that（没有that） many global problems require the collaborate endeavor of many nations in the world. Consider, for instance, the global environmental problem, the depleting（depletion？而且，是这么表达么？我不太清楚） of the ozone which will warm our earth into（warm into? I'm not sure） a dangerous level, the disarming of mass destruction weapons, the global epidemic disease, all of these can't be solved only depends（时态错误） on one country's endeavor. So for the future leaders, possessing the ability of socialization means a great benefit not only to one nation but to the world as a whole. 我觉得并没有说太清楚。你要说socialization，可是这一段只说了cooperation如何重要（姑且不说是否深入），很多人都犯这个错误，最关键的socialization和cooperation的关系几乎只字不提。语言上，小错误太多了。

我想就这段而言，错误的典型性已经够了。如果快要考试，既然都能够写这么多了（应该是45min内吧），集中精力把小错误解决，是一个不错的选择。下边的内容，如果你还想继续修改，可以自己动手实施。

加油，祝你考到满意的成绩。

ceciliarenUID: 138976

谢谢grill，imong

白色翅膀UID: 139024

大虾都说了，我无话可说
这些毛病，应该是平时养成的习惯吧，考试检查出来就可以了吧
（SO太感情化，一般用SO THAT，SO AS TO ）我也写了一篇在坛子里