发上个人习作，求批改，欢迎具体建议！

mcfayeUID: 2950189

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In this era of information explosion, nothing is more stable than ever, and innovations are happening in every second. In front of us are plenty of chances to make a difference. However, some people feel worried about this scenario. They prefer stability than variation and fear to see any sign of unsettling of in their lives, arguing that modern society deprive them of the time to think about the real meaning of life while they are busy handling all these new things.

Admittedly these comments reflect the confusion this rapidly changing world brings to us, but I still support the positive side. It should be emphasized that it is not the fault of changes but our own indetermination that confuses us. To these who are well aware of what they want in their lives, more changes means more choices to realize their dreams. For an instance, a computer might just be a playing tool to kill time for a college fellow who has no idea of the rest of his or her life. But for Bill Gates it was his opportunity to change the world. In addition, even for those who are unsure about where to go, changes make more possibilities because they would experience way more exciting and rich lives and finally find their destinations as long as they are brave enough to accept changes. Jet Li would never imagine how successful he would be now if he rejected the audition after years of Martial training. Several months ago I was a postgraduate with much lower English expressive capability, and now I am here working on this article with comprehensive writing skills, attributing to the decision I made to take this examination because I would like to make a change.

In conclusion, we have to admit that nowadays god always prefers to those who can take challenges and adapt to all kinds of circumstances, and change is merely a bad thing. If you know exactly how you would live your life, change will serve as an assistant for you. Or if you are still confusing about the future, embrace the changes in front of you and you will not regret in the end.

bqianaUID: 193168

4.5-5

mcfayeUID: 2950189

bqiana 发表于 2012-6-28 09:46
4.5-5

求楼主指点，我是不是又写跑题了？感觉思路逻辑老是组织不起来，是不是范文还是看得不够深？另外，语言表达方面有什么建议吗？

bqianaUID: 193168

托福文章风格