issue121 请指正

gdhdannyUID: 125843

Issue121
"At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save an endangered species."

Darwinism inculcates in its advocators with the notion that the extinction of species results from the inexorable process of so called “natural selection” which means stronger species survive while weaker ones do not. I concede that this power of nature can attribute to the extinction of some certain species. Otherwise, in my point of view, the significance of human factors should also be taken into account concerning the topic.

Admittedly, some historical explanations, which are generally believed among Darwinians, do provide us a reasonable idea which interprets the extinction of some species. A case in point is the reason why dinosaurs died out after thriving on earth for quite a long period. They alleged there must be some dramatically alternation in the living conditions of the dinosaurs. It could be either a sharp decrease of the temperature or the abruptions of many volcanoes at the same time. All of these changes required the living units at that time to be adaptive enough to survive. As a result, the unfortunate species, along with the dinosaurs, which failed to get accustomed to the changing environment, disappeared. Judging from this aspect, some people conclude that it is the nature rather that human beings that affects the living conditions of species.

Tentatively, the “natural selection” is one of the reasons why dinosaurs died out, we should not eliminate human efforts to save the endangered species and try our very best to avoid the tragedy of their extinction.

Contrary to the “natural selection”, the efforts of human are considered to gain quick feedbacks from the coexistent species on earth. Even the Darwinians admit that the extinctions of those who failed in social evolution are so time-consuming processes that may last for centuries of thousands of years. People could hardly review and predict which one of the species and why they deracinate. Meanwhile, it’s easy to figure out the living conditions of a species including the total amount of the species and environment where they live. With the help of statistical analysis and examination on spot, we could make the decision of which one of all the species is endangered and take immediate actions to protect them.

Another argument for imposing on ourselves some responsibility to preserve endangered species is self-preservation. The bio-kingdom is an intricate matrix of interdependent relationships, in which each species depends on many others for its survival. Severing certain relationships, a predator could also be a prey, therefore the extinction of one might ultimately endanger our own as a species. Hence, the cost of money and jobs we paid in saving the endangered species is an obligatory action to avoid our extinction rather than a mercy on other species.

In sum, there’s no easy answer to such a complex issue as endangered species protection. It requires the comparison of economic interests and the consideration of moral alertness. Yet, I hold that the realistic value and self-preservation should take precedence over conventional predictions.

gdhdannyUID: 125843

欢迎指正

木耳UID: 123036

Issue 121
"At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save an endangered species."

Darwinism inculcates in its advocators with the notion that the extinction of species results from the inexorable process of so called “natural selection” which means stronger species survive while weaker ones do not. I concede that this power of nature can attribute to the extinction of some certain species. Otherwise, in my point of view, the significance of human factors should also be taken into account concerning the topic.

开头写得很好！

Admittedly, some historical explanations, which are generally believed among Darwinians, do provide us a reasonable idea which interprets the extinction of some species. A case in point is the reason why dinosaurs died out after thriving on earth for quite a long period. They（这个they有些指代不清，最好改成科学家什么的） alleged there must be some dramatically alternation in the living conditions of the dinosaurs. It could be either a sharp decrease of the temperature or the abruptions of many volcanoes at the same time. All of these changes required the living units at that time to be adaptive enough to survive. As a result, the unfortunate species, along with the dinosaurs, which failed to get accustomed to the changing environment, disappeared. Judging from this aspect, some people conclude that it is the nature rather that human beings that affects the living conditions of species.

Tentatively, the “natural selection” is one of the reasons why dinosaurs died out, we should not eliminate human efforts to save the endangered species and try our very best to avoid the tragedy of their extinction.

Contrary to the “natural selection”, the efforts of human are considered to gain quick feedbacks from the coexistent species on earth. Even the Darwinians admit that the extinctions of those who failed in social evolution（social 这个词是否需要？） are so time-consuming processes that may last for centuries of thousands of years. People could hardly review and predict which one of the species and why they deracinate（最好加一句in a short time）. Meanwhile, it’s easy to figure out the living conditions of a species including the total amount of the species and environment where they live. With the help of statistical analysis and examination on spot, we could make the decision of which one of all the species is endangered and take immediate actions to protect them.

看了你第一句的论点，我以为你这段主要是要将人类活动对自然界和生物物种的巨大影响；可你后面却没有在此多着笔墨，只是说了人类可以做到拯救濒危的动物。我觉得还是着重讲一下正因为人类对自然界的巨大影响（基本都是负面的），所以才有责任对濒危的油气是由于人类而濒危的物种进行保护。这个因果关系是比较重要的。

Another argument for imposing on ourselves some responsibility to preserve endangered species is self-preservation. The bio-kingdom is an intricate matrix of interdependent relationships, in which each species depends on many others for its survival. Severing certain relationships, a predator could also be a prey, therefore the extinction of one might ultimately endanger our own as a species. Hence, the cost of money and jobs we paid in saving the endangered species is an obligatory action to avoid our extinction rather than a mercy on other species.

In sum, there’s no easy answer to such a complex issue as endangered species protection.（这句我觉得写的不好。在文中你已经作了确切的回答，就不要再说这种类似于：这是个复杂的问题，不好回答之类的话。） It requires the comparison of economic interests and the consideration of moral alertness. Yet, I hold that the realistic value and self-preservation should take precedence over conventional predictions. （最后也不要以个人观点的口吻说话，看上去显得底气不足，好像说这只是我个人的观点，实际情况还有待考证。在写结尾的时候，就把自己前面论证的结论当成真理客观来讲，以一种严谨客观的语气在总结深入讨论总结一下会更好）


总的来说写的相当不错。言简意赅，逻辑清晰，论证也比较充分。

就是Contrary那一段写得不太好，还有结尾不理想。
在语言方面做到了流畅自然，但比起最好的文章，文采用词句诗等方面都显得淡薄了一些。

加油啊！你的基础很好，相信再写几篇，你的实力定会大增！也欢迎你参加到论坛的讨论和评改中来 :)

gdhdannyUID: 125843

多谢木耳
前段没在家中，今天回家才看到本帖，收获不小，也多谢鼓励。