issue79 新手上路 第一篇请指教

papajohnsUID: 127722

79 "Major policy decisions should always be left to politicians and other government experts, who are more informed and thus have better judgment and perspective than do members of the general public."
主要的决策权应该全部交给政治家和其他的政府专家，他们更加见多识广并且比一般的老百姓具有更好的判断能力和洞察力。
Position:
政府应该集思广益，高度重视大众的意见，然后在此基础上由政治家和其他相关的专家作出适当的政策。而政府本身，仅只是人民选择来执行自己意志的方式.

1决策权完全交给大众是不切实际的，且有害的。A 由于社会分工所带来的利益冲突越来越复杂和尖锐。每个利益GROUP都希望政策有利于自己这一方，因此很难达到一致。B 再加上现在社会问题越来越复杂，如果不是专业人士，普通人甚至都不理解，又怎么能很好的决策呢/
2完全交给那些这政治家也有害。
3最好的方式是民众广泛积极的参与，然后政府在民众意见的基础上作出适当的决策。
In retrospect of our history, we find that decision-maker has been gradually shifted from one person, monarch of the feudal age, to a large cooperative group nowadays. This change is positive and increasingly close to democracy. Although absolute democracy has not yet been realized today, In my view, to leave the power of policy decision to the government and other experts is the best way at present we have to choose. But it doesn’t mean that we could disregard the opinions and interests of the public. After all, government must be accountable to the people it serves.


Absolute democracy means that every citizen should directly participate in policy decision, no matter how trivial or foremost. Nonetheless, there have two reasons why it could not be practical. First, due to the enormous diversity of individuals’ interests derived from the division of labor, it is impossible for every person to achieve agreement on the same affair. Perhaps it would trigger social conflicts. Had it not been solved effectively, it might make society unstable or even collapse/break down. Secondly, because of the increasing complexity of society over the last several decades, ordinary people have no special knowledge in dealing with many difficult problems. Imagine these people who totally do not understand intricate economic issue, how can they make a correct policy by way of their few knowledge?  Therefore, we have to delegate more and more authority to our elected and appointed representatives, in other words, some specialists in dealing with the complex relationship of modern society. And those representatives form our local and national government and stands for the interests of different groups of people. Such regime is reasonable and effective demonstrated by numerous experiences/experiments, notwithstanding it is not the manifestation of absolute democracy.  Also, society calls for experts who can do well in specific fields where politicians alone cannot handle. In one word, the power of policy decisions should be left to a cooperative group including politicians and experts.

Admittedly, super power will lead to serious corruption. Those people in power make use of power to get money or other material wealth. What’s more, when they are making policy, they concern more about themselves than others. If the public wealth is a big cookie, those people (government officials) who have the right to divide cookie surely want to get a larger piece and in fact they really did it in some countries. The apparent inability of our decision-making structures to address individual needs enhance the sense of public alienation from public decision-making. Political system appears increasingly unrepresentative to many as parliamentary authority is subordinated to executive control supported by a government party which often represents significantly less than a majority of the population. Hence, The public is demanding a correction towards greater participation. Otherwise society would devolve into dictatorship by few political elite.


Government should provide opportunities for every citizen to develop policy options that satisfy many key interests. Thomas Jefferson once said: "The people may safely be trusted to hear everything true and false, and to form a correct judgment. Were it fall to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. "Active participation from the public will not only ensure the government's policy decision making process more scientifically designed, but also is helpful to the implementation of the decision. The experts noted that it will also enable the government to better know the needs of the people and take relative concrete steps.

To sum up, it must be remembered that government serves for the public. During the process of making decision government should first gather and analyze information from citizens and then based on such information, politicians and other government experts make the final decision.

闲情UID: 111016

In retrospect of our history, we find that decision-maker has been gradually shifted from one person, monarch of the feudal age, to a large cooperative group nowadays. This change is positive and increasingly close to democracy. Although absolute democracy has not yet been realized today, （逗号后面不应用大写字母）In my view, to leave the power of policy decision to the government and other experts is the best way at present we have to choose. But it doesn’t mean that we could disregard the opinions and interests of the public. After all, government must be accountable to the people it serves.


Absolute democracy means that every citizen should directly participate in policy decision, no matter how trivial or foremost. Nonetheless, there have（应是there are） two reasons why it could not be practical. First, due to the enormous diversity of individuals’ interests derived from the division of labor, it is impossible for every person to achieve agreement on the same（用individual或single比较好） affair. Perhaps it would trigger social conflicts. Had it not been solved effectively, it might make society unstable or even collapse/break down. Secondly, because of the increasing complexity of society over the last several decades, ordinary people have no special knowledge in dealing with many difficult problems. Imagine these people who totally（避免用这样极端的词汇） do not understand intricate economic issue, how can they make a correct policy by way of their few（不可数，应是little） knowledge? Therefore, we have to delegate more and more authority to our elected and appointed representatives, in other words, some specialists in dealing with the complex relationship of modern society. And those representatives form our local and national government and stands for the interests of different groups of people. Such regime is reasonable and effective（这里最好加个逗号） demonstrated by numerous experiences/experiments, notwithstanding it is not the manifestation of absolute democracy. Also, society calls for experts who can do well in specific fields where politicians alone cannot handle. In one word, the power of policy decisions should be left to a cooperative group including politicians and experts.

Admittedly, super power will lead to serious corruption. Those people in power make use of power to get money or other material wealth. What’s more（建议用worse）, when they are making policy, they concern more about themselves than others. If the public wealth is a big cookie（这是小饼干，应用cake）, those people (government officials专家不一定是政府官员，可以是政府咨询专家，但这些人做的事情也差不多，失去知识分子的良心而只为谋得个人的福利，这样的人也包含在题目内，你可以写) who have the right to divide cookie （同上）surely want to get a larger piece and in fact they really did it in some countries. The apparent inability（ineffectiveness稍微好些） of our decision-making structures to address individual needs enhance the sense of public alienation from public decision-making. Political system appears increasingly unrepresentative to many as parliamentary authority is subordinated to executive control supported by a government party which often represents significantly less than a majority of the population. Hence, The public is demanding a correction towards greater participation. Otherwise society would devolve into dictatorship by few political elite.这段的论证比较乱。如果你说的是一种可能的情况，那么前后都应该用may。如果你是拿中国举例，就应该明确说明，否则经常出现we，或者是非常肯定的语气，不符合写议论文的客观。


Government should provide opportunities for every citizen to develop policy options that satisfy many key（这样的搭配很少见，用major比较好） interests. Thomas Jefferson once said: "The people may safely be trusted to hear everything true and false, and to form a correct judgment. Were it fall to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. "Active participation from the public will not only ensure the government's policy decision making process more scientifically designed, but also is helpful to the implementation of the decision. The experts noted that it will（与前面noted时态不吻合） also enable the government to better know the needs of the people and take relative concrete steps.

To sum up, it must be remembered that government serves for（for多余，否则变成“当作，充用”的意思） the public. During the process of making decision government should first gather and analyze information from citizens and then based on such information, politicians and other government experts make the final decision.

你的写法也如很多新手一样，两边各打100大板，然后得出一个中庸的结论。但是对老外来说，这等于没有自己的立场。你最好尽量避免这样的写法（相关的指导文章精华区有），在题目中选一个立场，然后来个小让步小转折，以达到客观。

建议你看看精华区的范文，分析他们是怎么说理的。还有这篇文章里讲的思路，非常值得学习。https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... =%BD%CC%C2%DF%BC%AD


你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照置顶的帖子。


希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！

genie05UID: 30358

希望先看顶楼公告，注意发贴格式，在ISSUE和数字之间不要空格。谢谢。

papajohnsUID: 127722

谢谢版主的修改，问题提得很中肯。
我就是在俩者之间摇摆。其实我的开头是选择了政府及专家们，
到了后面就开始觉得都有道理。
逻辑也开始混乱了。

ps:这是我的新提纲和思路：
position: agree
1政府的成员是各个group的代表，通常在决策时，他们discuss，debate，最后通过协商妥协的方式平衡个方面的利益。
2政府部门的成员是政治精英善于处理和调整各种社会关系和社会问题。and have better judgment and perspective.而且有think-tank咨询。这就保证了决策的质量问题。
3由政府部门决策比较高效。反之由人们大众决策耗时很长。通常社会问题很紧急需要迅速决策，及时处理否则会带来严重的后果。
4当然人们的积极参与是科学决策的基础。政府应该高度重视人们的意见。（小转折）
总结
不知这样的提岗行不行？
下次在重发一片按这个提岗写的文章。请xdjm指点。