ISSUE33 我的第二篇，似乎有些退步：（

ValentinerUID: 121676

ISSUE33 Creating an appealing image has become more important in contemporary society than is the reality or truth behind that image.

In contemporary society, with the development in media, communications, and publicity, image has come into vogue, while people send or exchange information. The dilemma between an attractive image and the reality behind it, however, has brought into focus. The speaker comes up with the view that more significance has been attached to image than the reality nowadays, while I argue that important as the image is, the truth behind it also plays a key role in publicity, otherwise the image without essential content will decay easily.

Image, admittedly, plays an indispensable role in the contemporary culture, where appealing image can be considered as a vital factor to one's success. With the progress of television and Internet, almost all the manufacturers and politicians tend to set up a attractive images in front of public in order to occupy the market or win over the electorate. Take election for president for illustration. All the candidates have to make every effort to create a perfect figure in front of the citizens for image is the only way the electorate get to know them. According to a poll done by several socialists of Luton University in Britain, nearly 67 percent presidents in British history, who had succeeded in defeating their rivals, regardless of their later performance, had set up a perfect figure in the minds of electorate before they got final satisfied results. Therefore, image has from time to time led to success, in that people's attention cannot always see the truth behind it and have to rely merely on what they can see directly.

On the other hand, image lacking reality to support it, or even distorting the truth, will not only break up easily, but also harm the ones who create it. As we all known, contemporary society is a huge market, where what all the enterprises and celebrities engage in is image-making. It is believed that good image can undoubtedly promote the profits of a company, and as far as individuals are concerned, good image will enhance their reputation in the society. Overemphasis on image, however, may obscure the essential content in it, to make it worse, some people create a false image at the expense of their credit by the means of exaggeration, distortion, or deceit. The bankruptcy of LanTian Company in China is a good lesson, which was one of the most potential enterprises according to a survey by Chinese economists. Its deceit to its stockholders by creating a false data and index has inevitably led it to the way of collapse.

Fortunately, image and reality, however, are not mutually exclusive, thus it is totally possible to reconcile the two perfectly, so that we can enjoy more profits. Once a perfect image has established, efforts should be taken in order to meet the perfection, and thus formed a favorable circle. A great deal of investigation on advertisements in many famous enterprises in the world is a case in point. The perfect images on the advertisement does not only tell the consumers the good quality of their products, but also motivate the employees to work hard in order to maintain the perfection.

Weighing the pros and cons, we can come into the conclusion that appealing image has more advantages than disadvantage. Once what the image shows has substantial content to support it, it will surely help to enhance the reputation and make more profits. Otherwise if the image has nothing but show-off, its significance and duration will decay easily.

全文共用一个小时零十分钟，共579个字。虽然用的时间比第一篇少了，但是质量似乎并没有提高。只有一个月的时间了，急啊我~~~~~

gdhdannyUID: 125843

ISSUE33 Creating an appealing image has become more important in contemporary society than is the reality or truth behind that image.

In contemporary society, with the development in media, communications, and publicity(development in publicity?), image has come into vogue, while(这个词做什么用？) people send or exchange information. The dilemma between an attractive image and the reality behind it, however, has brought into focus. The speaker comes up with the view that more significance has been attached to image than the reality nowadays, while I argue that important as the image is, the truth behind it also plays a key role in publicity, otherwise the image without essential content will decay easily.
首段结构很清楚，background information介绍自然同时让人一目了然作者立场，赞赏地说

Image, admittedly, plays（感觉用现在完成进行时好些） an indispensable role in the contemporary culture, where appealing image can be considered as a vital factor to one's success. With the progress of television and Internet, almost all the manufacturers and politicians tend to set up a(all the manufacturers and politicians所以这里应该是复数) attractive images in front of public（the public） in order to occupy the market or win over the electorate. Take election for president（两个for读起来不太爽，不如换成presidential election） for illustration. All the candidates have to make every effort to create a perfect figure(前面all the candidates这里应该用复数吧) in front of the citizens for image is the only way the electorate get to know them. According to a poll done（organized） by several socialists of Luton University in Britain, nearly 67 percent presidents in British history, who had succeeded in defeating(succeed in 和defeating留用一个就可以了) their rivals, regardless of their later performance, had set up a perfect figure（还是单复数问题“67 percent presidents”） in the minds of electorate before they got final satisfied results. Therefore, image has from time to time led to success, in that people's attention cannot always see the truth behind it and have to rely merely on what they can see directly.
条理清晰，举例得当

On the other hand（这个转折最好和on the one hand一起用吧，这里用个nevertheless, however这类的就行了）, image lacking reality to support it, or even distorting the truth, will not only break up easily, but also harm the ones who create it. As we all known, contemporary society is a huge market, where what all the enterprises and celebrities engage in is image-making. It is believed that good image（没有冠词，单数？复数？） can undoubtedly promote the profits of a company, and as far as individuals are concerned, good image will enhance their reputation in the society. Overemphasis on image, however, may obscure the essential content in it, to make it worse, some people create a false image at the expense of their credit（credits） by the means of(by means of) exaggeration, distortion, or deceit. The bankruptcy of LanTian Company in China is a good lesson, which（先行词和指代对象中间怎么能有谓语？） was one of the most potential enterprises according to a survey by Chinese economists. Its deceit to its stockholders by creating a false data and index has inevitably led it to the way of collapse. （最好加上依据总结的话，一方面归纳本段内容，一方面是论证更深入）
本段很流畅，不过遇上一个论点段比起来，由于结尾缺少一句深化的总结，结构上显得有点单薄

Fortunately, image and reality, however, are not mutually exclusive, thus it is totally possible to reconcile the two perfectly, so that we can enjoy more profits. Once a perfect image has established, efforts should be taken in order to meet the perfection, and thus formed a favorable circle（好像只画了半个园吧，perfection的反作用也要说清楚啊）. A great deal of investigation on advertisements in many famous enterprises in the world is a case in point. The perfect images on the advertisement（ads） does(删掉does) not only tell the consumers the good quality of their(这个their指代不清楚，不如干脆用the) products, but also motivate the employees to work hard in order to maintain the perfection.(还是上一段的问题，没有总结)

Weighing the pros and cons, we can come into the conclusion that appealing image has more advantages than disadvantage. Once what the image shows has substantial content to support it, it will surely help to enhance the reputation and make more profits. Otherwise if the image has nothing but show-off, its significance and duration will decay easily.
结尾段明显不如前文，可能是累了吧，感觉很机械，无论是语言上还是结构上

总体来讲是一篇很好的文章。可以看出你的英语基础很好，整篇文章读起来很流畅，不过一些基本的单复数问题还要注意。

论述体系比较完整，例子也很精当。如果能对每段内容提出总结，效果会更好

ValentinerUID: 121676

In contemporary society, with the development in media and communications, image has come into vogue, when people send or exchange information. The dilemma between an attractive image and the reality behind it, however, has brought into focus. The speaker comes up with the view that more significance has been attached to image than the reality nowadays, while I argue that important as the image is, the truth behind it also plays a key role in publicity, otherwise the image without essential content will decay easily.

Image, admittedly, has played an indispensable role in the contemporary culture, where appealing image can be considered as a vital factor to one's success. With the progress of television and Internet, almost all the manufacturers and politicians tend to set up attractive images in front of the public in order to occupy the market or win over the electorate. Take presidential election   for illustration. All the candidates have to make every effort to create perfect figures in front of the citizens, for image is the only way the electorate get to know them. According to a poll  organized   by several socialists of Luton University in Britain, nearly 67 percent presidents in British history, who had defeated their rivals, regardless of their later performance, had set up perfect figure s in the minds of electorate before they got final satisfied results. Therefore, image has from time to time led to success, in that people's attention cannot always see the truth behind it and have to rely merely on what they can see directly.

However, image lacking reality to support it, or even distorting the truth, will not only break up easily, but also harm the ones who create it. As we all known, contemporary society is a huge market, where what all the enterprises and celebrities engage in is image-making. It is believed that good images can undoubtedly promote the profits of a company, and as far as individuals are concerned, good image will enhance their reputation in the society. Overemphasis on image, however, may obscure the essential content in it, to make it worse, some people create a false image at the expense of their credits by means of exaggeration, distortion, or deceit. The bankruptcy of LanTian Company in China is a good lesson, one of the most potential enterprises according to a survey by Chinese economists. Its deceit to its stockholders by creating a false data and index has inevitably led it to the way of collapse. Consequently, what makes images maintain a long duration is the reality behind it. As far as enterprises are concerned, the “reality” means the credit in the market and the quality of the production; as for individuals, the images is merely like ornaments, and what makes a person really attractive is his or her excellent personality such as honesty, courage, diligence, etc., despite of his or her appearances.  

Fortunately, image and reality, however, are not mutually exclusive, thus it is totally possible to reconcile the two perfectly, so that we can enjoy more profits. A great deal of investigation on advertisements in many famous international enterprises is a case in point. The perfect images on the advertisements not only tell the consumers the good quality of the products, but also motivate the employees to work hard in order to maintain the perfection. Once a perfect image has established, efforts should be taken in order to meet the perfection, meanwhile, and as long as endeavored, the pay-off will soon be received; thus formed a favorable circle.

Weighing the pros and cons, we can come into the conclusion that the significance of images, which has played a key, sometimes perhaps crucial, role in the contemporary, should be taken into account in the publicity. Once what the image shows has substantial content to support it, it will surely help to enhance the reputation and make more profits. Otherwise if the image has nothing but show-off, its significance and duration will decay easily.

ValentinerUID: 121676

最后三段在你的建议下，做了较大的改动，虽然觉得结尾还是不太好，但总觉得文章写到最后就像没话讲了似的，不知道你有何建议呢？

gdhdannyUID: 125843

改得很好地说！！：）

我觉得结尾用Weighing the pros and cons不太合适，完全可以总结一下就收笔，这个“权衡”的感觉模版痕迹太浓了

看看这个
https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... 18&pagenumber=1

ValentinerUID: 121676

非常感谢gdhdanny！
我把那个链接里的那篇帖子DOWN下来了，一会儿下线了，慢慢研究！
再次感谢！！