【独立写作】Jo作业贴

sarah666UID：3477707

sorry for being late

昼伏夜出_姜卓UID：3480413

sarah666 发表于 2013-11-20 22:17
sorry for being late

Second，children not only learn knowledge form their parents but also learn how to deal with problems in their life.(This sub top sentence does not connect with topic closely.You want to emphasize that children tend to use the money to do other bad things and highlight the negative effects, but this is the effects of dealing with money unproperly, which seems to irrlevant with the topic. What’s more, this sentence seems to confirm the positive  effects of rewarded money.)They may think it is a good way to use money to solve their problem and let people do things they want— just like their parents use money to let them study well.In fact,it could not always work in social life and this action could even lead to crime in their further life.My seven-year- old nephew who did not finish his homework in school tried to give five yuan to his classmate in order to make him not record his name and not tell the teacher.It horrible for a seven-year-old child to corrupt to earn good performance.What if he become a politic someday?What if  he use the people‘s money to corrupt  for himself?What if he become a doctor?What if he use the medicine that patients not need to earn money?The answers may be some situations we do not expected.

感谢批改~~

感觉对于这段的看法和楼主不同，这段的tp是children learn from their parents to use money to solve problems 这种方式不对~~也就是本段的第二句话并不是为了强调children滥用金钱。。。。而是直接反驳利用金钱让别人做事这种方式，不太明白为什么是偏题啊？

Byron_GreyUID：3450256

楼主的思路真心广啊! 我怎么想半天怎么就想不出来啥料能写呢?  30分钟写近500字太厉害了!  小的语法错误有点密集, 写的时候注意点就好. 特别是最后一句哦!评分的人都想给你分数了,你又给他看到typo和 grammar fault 这就很不谨慎了
另外 楼主 你改我的作文 是不是发错了。。。？？

昼伏夜出_姜卓UID：3480413

Byron_Grey 发表于 2013-11-21 09:21
楼主的思路真心广啊! 我怎么想半天怎么就想不出来啥料能写呢?  30分钟写近500字太厉害了!  小的语法错误有点 ...

太感谢了，真心给自己的语法跪了~~~~不论口语还是阅读都是这种啊！！求解决思路，有没有什么书推荐？？

Byron_GreyUID：3450256

昼伏夜出_姜卓 发表于 2013-11-21 10:32
太感谢了，真心给自己的语法跪了~~~~不论口语还是阅读都是这种啊！！求解决思路，有没有什么书推荐？？

额，我也没看过语法书，可能高中成天考语法啥的，就形成习惯了。。。每次写完先看看自己是否能找出语法错误吧，以及每次让别人改过之后，看看都是什么样的错，积累下来，以后注意就好了。
另外，你去听了你口语，你之前考过20分是吧口语？  我都不知道怎么救我的口语了。。。

昼伏夜出_姜卓UID：3480413

Byron_Grey 发表于 2013-11-21 12:00
额，我也没看过语法书，可能高中成天考语法啥的，就形成习惯了。。。每次写完先看看自己是否能找出语法错 ...

是啊~~我考了两次，18 ，20~~我就毁在这两门上了

墨哈UID：3453330

我的作业，我看过阅读听力文本后写的，加上你的作业，收获不少

sijidaoUID：3475425

改好了~~不好意思发晚了！