issue2

12ssUID: 149253

Today, competition exits between countries, in all fields of science, and among almost all kinds of people, so we can claim without exaggeration that competition exists everywhere. Some people think that competition is beneficial for society, while some other people assert that competition can cause stress, apathy, degeneration of moral and some other problems. I believe that it is the very competition which impels society advancing.

In the first place, competition can cause stress which can generate impetus, impetus will stimulate people’s latent ability and inspiration, thus competition can help people to solve problems. For society, problem can be quickly solved when there are many people work on it and compete with each other, while it may be lay aside or be solved inefficiently without competition. An convincing example is the Chinese history, China is strong and ahead of other country when it was opened to the whole world , but when it separate itself form the outside world, it lose impetus and can even catch up with the west world for no competition. This miserable memory is told in history lessons in every China school and will be remembered for ever. It is the competition which changed Chinese history.

In the second place, competition is a basic element of the democratic society. Only competition can prevent partiality and ensure equity of society, for it depend on the ability and extent of diligence of competitors. When many people who apply for one post , it is impartial that the one who will win it the competition should get the post. Seeing the countries of he world, the democratic countries encourage competition for it can ensure society equity and be beneficial for the development of society. But in autocratic countries where competition is inhibited, privilege and monopoly consequently come out and the society development is impaired by the impartiality.

Admittedly, every coin has two sides, while we talk about the benefits of competition, we must realize that it can bring about several problem that can not be ignored. For example, competition of course bring stress as high stress is bad for people’s physiology and mentality; some people will lose basic moral and use immoral measurement in competition in order to win, and improper competition sometimes encumber society progress such as in sale fields. These points must be took attention and solved in order to ensure that the disadvantage of competition can be minimized to the least extent.

To sum up, competition has its advantages and disadvantages, but the former is the main aspect. We should fervidly take part in competition and try our best to win in properly way.

杀青UID: 140733

Today, competition exits between countries, in all fields of science, and among almost all kinds of people, so we can claim without exaggeration that competition exists everywhere. Some people think that competition is beneficial for society, while some other people assert that competition can cause stress, apathy, degeneration of moral and some other problems. I believe that it is the very competition which impels society advancing.

In the first place, competition can cause stress which can generate impetus, impetus （这是定于从句吧）will stimulate people’s latent ability and inspiration, thus competition can help people to solve problems. For society, problem can be quickly solved when there are many people work on it and compete with each other, while it may be lay aside or be solved inefficiently without competition. An convincing example is the Chinese history, China is strong and ahead of other country when it was opened to the whole world , but when it separate itself form(from) the outside world, it lose impetus and can even catch up with the west world for no competition.(不通啊，后面忘了not啊)This miserable memory is told in history lessons in every China school and will be remembered for ever. It is the competition which changed Chinese history.

In the second place, competition is a basic element of the democratic society. Only competition can prevent partiality and ensure equity of society, for it depend on the ability and extent of diligence of competitors. （竞争跟公平没有关系吧，中国现在竞争这么激烈，可是特权，腐败还是存在啊）When many people who apply for one post , it is impartial that the one who will win it the competition should get the post. （句子不通啊）Seeing the countries of he（the）world, the democratic countries encourage competition for it can ensure society equity and be beneficial for the development of society. But in autocratic countries where competition is inhibited, privilege and monopoly consequently come out and the society development is impaired by the impartiality.（这个理由很牵强，任何一个社会都是鼓励竞争，没有地方是限制的啊）

Admittedly, every coin has two sides（不要用这句话，这句话已经烂了，外国人都知道中国人喜欢用，而且据说外国根本没有这个所谓的俗语）, while we talk about the benefits of competition, we must realize that it can bring about several problem that can not be ignored. For example, competition of course bring stress as high stress is bad for people’s physiology and mentality（没看明白）; some people will lose basic moral（这是形容词，morality） and use immoral measurement in competition in order to win, and improper competition sometimes encumber society progress such as in sale fields. These points must be took（taken，最好用paid） attention and solved in order to ensure that the disadvantage of competition can be minimized to the least extent.（ensure the disadvantage of competition to be minimized to the least extent）

To sum up, competition has its advantages and disadvantages, but the former is the main aspect. We should fervidly take part in competition and try our best to win in properly way.
字数太少了，一般最好写到500字以上.
楼主最好看看固定的帖子，发贴的格式错了，小心被骂哦^_^

基本框架都有了，但是有理由太牵强。
语言比较平淡，长句子的运用不是太好。
偶不是牛人，一起努力，说得不好，请之处哦^_^

12ssUID: 149253

When many people who apply for one post , it is impartial that the one who will win it the competition should get the post. in 写成了it

These points must be took（taken，最好用paid） attention and solved in order to ensure that the disadvantage of competition can be minimized to the least extent.（ensure the disadvantage of competition to be minimized to the least extent）  最后用从句不好吗？还是语法不对？

老兄的意见很中肯，例子用得的确不好， 观点的展开比较困难，革命尚未成功啊，多谢多谢拉，呵呵