issue185 2月高频题，第一次限时成功

coolwitsUID: 149150

185 "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
丑闻－无论是政治、学术还是其他领域－可能会是有用的。丑闻可以用演说家或者改革家无法使用的手段让我们注意到某些问题。

Do scandals focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Nowadays there arises the controversy about whether scandals are useful. I fundamentally agree to the arguer's assertion that scandals are every useful things to expose social problems; and they are quite useful for the improvement of our society.
     
First of all, scandals can reveal the problems that we thought having solved and whose existence we ignore. With the development of society, we human being have solved a lot of social problems that used to encumber our progress; however, because of entrenched wrong value system, some problems remain without being paid attention by us. In this case, these problems have more destructive power, because people do not keep defense of their social system. At this time, scandals, which burst out like a sudden bomb, can wake up the society that has given itself to the intoxication brought about by its satisfaction of solving many social problems. For example, since the American Civil War, people thought they have solved the problem of racial discrimination; and the black people receive as much human rights as white ones. However, a scandal, which raised the attention of the whole world, abruptly came out: two American policemen, whose responsibility was to defend American people, black or white, rudely beat a black young man for no proper reason; all this was shot by a video camera and broadcast later. The human rights of black people get people's attention again and government began to improve its legal system.  From the affair we can see the effective exposure of scandals.

Moreover, scandals can prepare people critical citizens rather than simple loyal ones. Scandals can be different: one type is the violation of justice; the other can only involve the individual's privacy. People can improve their critical thinks by discriminate the two and form their attitude towards them. After that, they can be a better judge of the government's operation, which is important for a health development of political field. For instance, Nixon, the president of American who was involved in the Watergate Controversy, violated the justice in American's elective system. Under the pressure of it people, Nixon resigned in the voice of protest. On the contrary, Clinton, another famous president in American's history, received only a few challenges from a few people after the exposure of his personal scandal with a young woman. The public asserted that this scandal was just his personal affair and it was immoral to pursue it endlessly. In the end, Clinton did not fail. In fact, the public equip themselves with critical thinking by analyzing various scandals.

In addition, scandals can exert effective threaten on those political officers who want to violate public goods. Once their dirty is dug out, their can no more survive in political field because people's pressure. After careful balance, it is highly possible that these people will give up their dirty plans.

In sum, scandals are so useful that they can find the mistakes we omitted in the past; they can equip us with critical thinking now; and they can forbid the potential problems in the future. No speaker or performer can perform such a good job to solve social problems.

imongUID: 140258

折腾一下午，下线之前说两句吧

自己用word2000里面, style=custom或者formal检查一下，基本上只有几条绿线，不过有些给出的response很有意思，可以自己看看。我就不copy了。

倒数第二个body的话我觉得不用说你自己也会考虑了。

are every useful things to expose social problems; ??

First of all, scandals can reveal the problems that we thought having solved and whose existence we ignore. 这里我觉得主要毛病在于ignore的语态是不是应该用have been doing这种，然后整个句子再考虑考虑。

Do scandals focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Nowadays there arises the controversy about whether scandals are useful.两句话意思相同都起到introduction作用，没必要写两遍。

文章还可以吧，虽然还有一些问题。其它问题自己再看看吧。可以再优化一下的。如果这篇文章能够有关于后半题干的分析会比较好，你的文章前面提出问题但是后面基本上没有理会。也许问题不大。

我这两天也再想想吧。我好像写过这篇文章的。

DriverEntryUID: 143979

185 "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
丑闻－无论是政治、学术还是其他领域－可能会是有用的。丑闻可以用演说家或者改革家无法使用的手段让我们注意到某些问题。

Do scandals focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? 提问后一般要自己回答一下吧？下面这句和前面的意思重复了。Nowadays there arises the controversy about whether scandals are useful. I fundamentally agree to the arguer's assertion that scandals are every useful things to expose social problems; and they are quite useful for the improvement of our society.

First of all, scandals can reveal the problems that we thought表示本以为好象要用过去完成时吧？ having solved and whose这个离先行词太远了。 existence we ignore这句话读起来有点怪。. With the development of society, we human being have solved a lot of social problems that used to encumber our progress;用逗号就可以了吧？ however, because of entrenched wrong value system, some problems remain without being paid attention用still ignored 不就可以了 by us. In this case, these problems have more destructive power, because people do not keep defense of their social system. At this time, scandals, which burst out like a sudden bomb, can wake up the society that has given itself to the intoxicationhas intoxicated itself brought about by its satisfaction of solving many social problems.感觉这前面几句比较重复，都是在说TS For example, since the American Civil War, people thought they havehad solved the problem of racial discrimination; and the black people receive as much human rights as white ones. However, a scandal, which raised the attention of the whole world, abruptly came out: two American policemen, whose responsibility was to defend American people, black or white, rudely beat a black young man for nowithout proper reason; all this was shot感觉用recorded更好些，不会有歧义 by a video camera and broadcast later. The human rights of black people get people's attention again and government began to improve its legal system. From the affair we can see the effective exposure of scandals.

Moreover, scandals can prepare people critical citizens rather than simple loyal ones. Scandals can be different: one type is the violation of justice; the other can only involve the individual's privacy. People can improve their critical thinksthoughts by discriminateing the two and form their attitude towards them. After that, they can be a better judge of the government's operation这里感觉用of结构比较好, which is important for a health加y，否则是名词 development of political field. For instance, Nixon, the president of American who was involved in the Watergate Controversy水门事件是这么说么？, violated the justice in American's elective system. Under the pressure of it少s，低级错误，一定要避免 people, Nixon resigned in the voice of protest. On the contrary, Clinton, another famous president in American's history, received only a few challenges from a few people after the exposure of his personalpersonal可以去掉，重复 scandal with a young woman. The public asserted that this scandal was just his personal affair and it was immoral to pursue it endlessly. In the end, Clinton did not fail. In fact, the public equip themselves with critical thinking by analyzing various scandals.

In addition, scandals can exert effectively threaten on those political officers who want to violate public goods. Once their dirty is dug out, theirthey can no more survive in political field because of people's pressure. After careful balance, it is highly possible that these people will give up their dirty plans.

In sum, scandals are so useful that they can find the mistakes we omitted in the past; they can equip us with critical thinking now; and they can forbid the potential problems in the future. No speaker or performer can perform such a good job to solve social problems.

语言上有些地方的表达需要推敲。整个论证还算比较完整。另外：第2个分论点：丑闻可以使人们学会批判性地思考，论证的不是很有力。
想问一下：SCANDAL包括那些不真实的谣言吗？如果包括的话做个让步好些。比如：如果处于恶意的谣言漫天飞的话，对社会也是不好的。

限时的是比较难一些，对句子的表达要非常熟练才行。继续努力！

雪夭UID: 142334

第一段你要是用反问的话，应该提问+作者观点（不是问题的重复哦）+个人观点
的确我觉得应该让步一下，抽问也有不少是媒体炒做的。
我昨天也发了185，限时的可惜没人改

我的，随便用来看看吧，呵呵
Whether scandals are useful in most fields? The speaker claims that scandals help reveal the hidden social problems which cannot be reflected by speakers or reformers. I concede that such uncovered issues really have effect on the problems of any field and help to improve internal defects, however, under some circumstances, for-profit scandals might distort the truth or remove public concentration from social problems.

At the politics and academic level, revealing scandals draws people to pay more attention to certain social troubles and motivates governments and scientists to improve their performance and responsibility. For example, In America, Watergate caused severe attention to power of leadership and such scandal provoked Congress to pass several pieces of legislation designed to curb executive power in the future. Without such case, the government might fail to realize the phenomena of abusing power at that time, let alone established appropriate laws. In addition, recently, academic scandals also cause the social attention, not only for the situations of plagiarism and fabrication, but also other problems- individualism and defect of human nature. Considering the hidden problems of academic filed, researchers and scholars are required to adjust their attitudes to the science and the value of life. On the contrary, any speaker and reformer have their own interests so that the authority might also fail to mention the essential problems and even protect special interest by hiding potential danger. Therefore, under those serious circumstances, scandals help the society understand the potential harm and improve the social environment.

At the business level, according to the news and data, scandal would be one of most important problems in companies for its terrible threat to the enterprise survival. For example, the collapse of famous company-Enron knocked the siren of financial system in every company. Because of declined profit and financial trouble, this big company cheated the society with fake items of accounts not only cause problems to Enron but also have terrible effect on the society. After that, most companies reform the regulation of accounting and establish limitation of individual power. Obviously, those problems cannot reflected by speaker or reformers, in contrast, a society need necessary scandals to compensate unperfected system and prevent repeating mistakes.

However, with the development of mass media, television, newspapers and Internet considered scandals as an effective way to gain profit because they fine easily to catch the human nature of curiosity by the appealing information and special persons’ daily life. After all, common people desire to understand the famous persons or other social fields, no matter job situation or private life. To better satisfy those demand and increase the profit, mass media tries their best to unearth private news or even fabricate scandals. As a result, the public is attracted by trivial information and even be lead to a distorted environment, consequently, social problems and real scandals might be overlooked for the confusion o overload information. Therefore, to better confront with various new, a person should learn to active acceptance valuable information and use them to solve social problem.

Understandably, in most cases, scandals cause the alarm on hidden social problems and help the society to supervise the operation of various systems. By establishing new regulation and laws, the whole performance and behavior in any field will be improved and ensured. Meanwhile, people should understand the credibility of scandals and severity of social problem rather than passive acceptance.

DriverEntryUID: 143979

Whether scandals are useful in most fields? The speaker claims that scandals help reveal the hidden social problems which cannot be reflected by speakers or reformers. I concede that such uncovered issues really have effect on the problems of any field and help to improve internal defects, however, under some circumstances, for-profit scandals might distort the truth or remove public concentration from social problems.

At the politics and academic level, revealing scandals draws不加s people to pay more attention to certain social troubles and motivates同上 governments and scientists to improve their performance and responsibility. For example, In America, Watergate caused severe attention to power of leadership and such scandal provoked Congress to pass several pieces of legislation designed to curb executive power in the future. Without such case, the government might fail to realize the phenomena of abusing power at that time, let alone established appropriate laws这半句没看明白. In addition, recently, academic scandals also causedraw the social attention, not only for the situations可以去掉 of plagiarism and fabrication, but also other problems- individualism and defect of human nature. Considering the hidden problems of academic filed, researchers and scholars are required to adjust their attitudes to the science and the value of life. On the contrary, any speaker and reformer have their own interests so that the authority might also fail to mention the essential problems and even protect special interest by hiding potential danger. Therefore, under those serious circumstances, scandals help the society understand the potential harm and improve the social environment.

At the business level, according to the news and data, scandal would be one of most important problems in companies for its terrible threat to the enterprise survival. For example, the collapse of famous company-Enron knocked the siren of financial system in every company. Because of declined profit and financial trouble, this big company cheated the society with fake items of accounts缺点什么，用定从好了 not only cause problems to Enron but also have terrible effect on the society. After that, most companies reform the regulation of accounting and establish limitation of individual power安然事件好象对政府的警示作用更大，其实公司老板本身是不在乎的，只要能赚钱就行，亏的是普通员工和国家. Obviously, those problems cannot reflected by speaker这个SPEAKER到底指什么人？还是比较模糊 or reformers, in contrast, a society need necessary scandals to compensate unperfected system and prevent repeating mistakes.

However, with the development of mass media, television, newspapers and Internet considered时态？ scandals as an effective way to gain profit because they fine这个FINE啥意思？ easily to catch the human natureNATURE可以去掉，罗嗦 of curiosity by the appealing information and special persons’ daily life. After all, common people desire to understand the famous persons or other social fields, no matter job situation or private life. To better satisfy those demand and increase the profit, mass media tries复数 their best to unearth private news or even fabricate scandals. As a result, the public is attracted by trivial information and even be lead to a distorted environment, 可以用句号了consequently, social problems and real scandals might be overlooked for the confusion o？？？ overload information. Therefore, to better confront with various new少s, a person should learn to active acceptance valuable information and use them to solve social problem.结尾和开头好象不是很统一

Understandably, in most cases, scandals cause the alarm on hidden social problems and help the society to supervise the operation of various systems. By establishing new regulation and laws, the whole performance and behavior in any field will be improved and ensured. Meanwhile, people should understand the credibility of scandals and severity of social problem rather than passive acceptance.


总的来说还不错，用词丰富，句市变换。论证也比较有力。
先祝你考试成功！

雪夭UID: 142334

let alone 是更不用说的意思
错把find打成fine了
我是想从商业角度来说，可是想到就是安然，就凑合着用了，有什么这方面的好点子不

DriverEntryUID: 143979

安然你这样解释也可以的。如果其他公司想守法经营的话可以把安然当反面教材。其他更好的例子我也想不出来。我看别人的文章还行，自己写就没思想了。：（

LET ALONG 那后面的ESTABLISH是否不该用过去式？

fishergirlUID: 152325

185 "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
丑闻－无论是政治、学术还是其他领域－可能会是有用的。丑闻可以用演说家或者改革家无法使用的手段让我们注意到某些问题。

Do scandals focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Nowadays there arises the controversy about whether scandals are useful. I fundamentally agree to the arguer's assertion that scandals are every useful things to expose social problems; and they are quite useful for the improvement of our society.

First of all, scandals can reveal the problems that we thought having solved and whose existence we ignore. With the development of society, we human being have solved a lot of social problems that used to encumber our progress; however, because of entrenched wrong value system, some problems remain without being paid attention by us. In this case, these problems have more destructive power, because people do not keep defense of their social system. At this time, scandals, which burst out like a sudden bomb, can wake up the society that has given itself to the intoxication brought about by its satisfaction of solving many social problems. For example, since the American Civil War, people thought they have solved the problem of racial discrimination; and the black people receive as much human rights as white ones. However, a scandal, which raised the attention of the whole world, abruptly came out: two American policemen, whose responsibility was to defend American people, black or white, rudely beat a black young man for no proper reason; all this was shot by a video camera and broadcast later. The human rights of black people get people's attention again and government began to improve its legal system. From the affair we can see the effective exposure of scandals.

Moreover, scandals can prepare people critical citizens rather than simple loyal ones. Scandals can be different: one type is the violation of justice; the other can only involve the individual's privacy. People can improve their critical thinks by discriminate the two and form their attitude towards them. After that, they can be a better judge of the government's operation单复数不一致, which is important for a health healthy development of political field. For instance, Nixon, the president of American who was involved in the Watergate Controversy, violated the justice in American's elective system. Under the pressure of it people, Nixon resigned in the voice of protest. On the contrary, Clinton, another famous president in American's history, received only a few challenges from a few people after the exposure of his personal scandal with a young woman. The public asserted that this scandal was just his personal affair and it was immoral to pursue it endlessly. In the end, Clinton did not fail. In fact, the public equip themselves with critical thinking by analyzing various scandals.

In addition, scandals can exert effective threaten on those political officers who want to violate public goods. Once their dirty is dug out, their they can no more survive in political field because because of people's pressure. After careful balance, it is highly possible that these people will give up their dirty plans.

In sum, scandals are so useful that they can find the mistakes we omitted in the past; they can equip us with critical thinking now; and they can forbid the potential problems in the future. No speaker or performer can perform such a good job to solve social problems.
我的水平实在有限，只能看出一些简单的错误。我想请教一下，大家都是怎么来修改别人的作文，又是如何从中学习的呢？
我看了孙远的提纲，和楼主的差不多。我想问，这篇文章是否可以做一定的让步呢？揭露丑闻是必要的，但是我们应该给人以改过的机会。比如尼克松，由于水门事件他的政治生命由此夭折。但假如民众愿意给他一个机会，他完全可以在以后的工作中弥补从前的错误。毕竟他是一位很优秀的政治家啊。

DriverEntryUID: 143979

推荐你看一下ETS的范文和评语，有空的话再看一下 elements of style。
你就知道怎么改了。呵呵
当然可以让步啊，看看雪夭的文章。

coolwitsUID: 149150

这个世界有能力的政治家多了去了,关键看谁有手段, 够狠够黑
尼克松要把那个记者给做了,不就什么事都没有了吗?
像<国家公敌>那样最后大团圆都是虚构出来的
更多的时候, 政治就是耍手段
所以我一辈子也不想碰政治, 太恶心

傻傻的初来者UID: 156248

政治的东西好麻烦哦，平时不太关注，这个时候有点发毛阿
再，我刚来不太懂，好像大家常提的都是克林顿，尼克松，这样子考试的时候会不会判雷同阿？

fishergirlUID: 152325

不好意思，elements of style 是一本书吗？我刚才用google查了一下，好像没有免费的下载。哪里可以找到呢？

DriverEntryUID: 143979

"好像大家常提的都是克林顿，尼克松，这样子考试的时候会不会判雷同阿"
只要用的句子不一样，光名字一样是没关系的。

DriverEntryUID: 143979

elements of style 在精华区里有，可以找找看。实在找不到的话，我这里有。

傻傻的初来者UID: 156248

最初由 DriverEntry 发布
[B]"好像大家常提的都是克林顿，尼克松，这样子考试的时候会不会判雷同阿"
只要用的句子不一样，光名字一样是没关系的。 [/B]

原来这个样子哦，收到，谢了