issue103 crusade点评

mjkUID: 127590

我3月26就要考了，可是现在水平还很差，请各位高手指正

103. "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

只有在历史研究与我们的日常生活相关的前提下，历史研究才有价值。

Over the issue of the value of history, the speaker claims that the study of history is valuable only being relevant to our daily lives. I concede that it is necessary to study the daily lives of us, but the value of study is wrongly limited in the extent. In my view the study of history helps people to understand the past and decide how to live our lives, and in this way the study is valuable.

To begin with, history is the record of the past things and events, and one can learn much by study those to benefit the understanding of the present and future lives. The study of history is the base of understanding everything for human. To learn a thing is a process, people always firstly make a search for the similar one in the past, then compare them, and finally deduce the present thing. In this way, people can touch and understand the new things ceaselessly without any impassable problem. There are many examples in every area such as science and society, and here is one of them. The culture difference between the east and the west is a interesting subject and many west people do not understand some traditions and ideas of the east country. To solve the problem, them begin to learn the history of the east country such as China because the history records the process how the culture come into being. After the study of the thousands years of Chinese history they research the problem over again. They find that the problem has been solved by the study of culture history.

In addition, history can give people many inspiring spirits and teach people how to avoid many mistakes. There is an old sentence in China: history is a mirror. In this sentence, history is likened to a mirror. The people in the past and what they did are all in the mirror, and the reflections of them are significant for the people in modern times. There are many great human achievements can give people inspire. So the great spirits of human are contained in the history, and handed down from one generation to another by the history. Especially, the students can be benefited much by study the history to learn the great spirits and experiences to get the inspiration. Also, people can learn how to avoid the mistakes of the past. In 1930s, "the Depression" happened in many countries. To get rid of the dangerous corner, American put into practice the "New Deal" led by Roosevelt and succeeded at last. As a contrast, the Nazi regime appearing in German led to the world war. By study of history, the correct way to solve the economic crisis can be learned.

Admittedly, the study of history must be relevant to the daily lives of us. Many things in spite of great or little are came into being and created in the lives of human, and many spirits are also developed in the lives. So it is necessary to study the history of daily lives. However, if people limit the study of history in the extent of daily lives, in this case many valuable meanings and inspirations will lost. And no other than the meanings and inspirations are significant fot the human, so it will has little value to limit the extent of the study.

To sum up, people need to study history which is relevant to our daily lives, but it is wrong to limit the study in the extent. The study will be valuable when the history of past can help people understand the present things much better, when the human's spirits learned from the history are inspiring for people, and when the mistakes of past can helps people decide how to live.

mjkUID: 127590

我现在的问题
1，想到了分论点，可是如何论证还是要想很久
2，如何表达出来还很成问题
现在只有一个月时间了
我真得很着急
请各位赐教！！！

crusadeUID: 149710

Over the issue of the value of history, the speaker claims that the study of history is valuable only being relevant to our daily lives. I concede that it is necessary to [U]study the daily lives of us[/U] （是研究相关的历史，不是研究日常生活本身）, but the value of study is wrongly limited
[U]in the extent. [/U] （to some extent） In my view the study of history helps people to understand the past and decide how to [U]live our lives, [/U] （别扭） and in this way the study is valuable.
（虽然你提出了自己的观点，但是一点不带及原题中的relevant to our daily lives不太好吧）

To begin with, history is the record of the past things and events, and one can learn much by study （studying或者是from study of）those to benefit the understanding of the present and future lives. The study of history is the base （basis）of understanding everything for human.
[U]To learn a thing [/U] （learning？） is a process, people always firstly make a search for the similar one in the past, then compare them, and finally deduce the present thing. In this way, people can touch and understand the new things ceaselessly without any impassable problem. There are many examples in every area such as science and society, and here is one of them. The culture difference between the east and the west is a interesting subject （difference 没什么interesting，我觉得是comparison 吧）and many west （western）people do not understand some traditions and ideas of the east （eastern）country. To solve the problem, them begin to learn the history of the east country such as China because the history records the process how the culture come into being. After the study of the thousands years of Chinese history they research the problem over again. They find that the problem has been solved by the study of culture history. （这一段稍微有点泛了，你所论证的问题到底和daily lives有没有关呢？不要把它抛了，它是关键阿）

In addition, history can [U]give people many inspiring spirits [/U]  （inspire people）and teach people how to avoid many mistakes. There is an old [U]sentence [/U]  （proverb）in China: history is a mirror（后面最好跟一下，什么的镜子）. [U]In this sentence, history is likened to a mirror[/U] （罗嗦了，去掉）. The people in the past and what they did are all in the mirror（这句话是不是太中式阿，古人和他们所做的都在镜子里？）, and the reflections of them are significant for the people in modern times. There are many great human achievements （漏which）can give people [U]inspire[/U] （好像只能作动词吧）. So （这个so我没觉得逻辑上是这个关系）the great spirits of human are contained in the history, and （are）handed down from one generation to another by the history. Especially, the students [U]can be benefited much by [/U] （benefit from） study the history to learn the great spirits and experiences to get the inspiration. Also, people can learn how to avoid the mistakes of the past（过去的错误都过去了当然可以避免，是避免重犯类似的错误，不要老用中文思维）. In 1930s, "the Depression" happened in many countries. To get rid of the dangerous corner, American put into practice the "New Deal" led by Roosevelt and succeeded at last. [U]As a [/U] （In） contrast, the Nazi regime appearing in German led to the world war. By study of history, the correct way to solve the economic crisis can be learned.

Admittedly, the study of history must be relevant to the daily lives of us. （终于到主题了）Many things in spite of [U]great or little [/U] （这两个可以做名词来表示大小嘛？） [U]are[/U] （come into being不要be动词） came into being and created in the lives of human, and many spirits are also developed in the lives. So it is necessary to study the history of daily lives. However, if people limit the study of history in the extent of daily lives, in this case many valuable meanings and inspirations will lost. And [U]no other than [/U]  （？？）the meanings and inspirations are significant fot the human, so it will has little value to limit the extent of the study.

To sum up, people need to study history which is relevant to our daily lives, but it is wrong to limit the study in the extent. The study will be valuable when the history of past can help people understand the present things much better, when the human's spirits learned from the history are inspiring for people, and when the mistakes of past can helps people decide how to live.

总的来说还可以，不过低级错误还是不少，尤其你那个inspire的用法，用的这么多而且....汗啊
论证上要警惕。我知道你的论点是不仅和日常生活有关的，凡是对现代生活有好处的历史都有价值，但你一上来不能扔了那个和日常生活有关的历史研究。否则很有跑题之嫌。

mjkUID: 127590

万分感谢楼上的兄弟！！！ ：）

我想了一下你最后提出的问题，
我的本意是正文中前面两段讲反对意见，最后一段让步同意原题的部分观点。那我改成先第一段先让步同意，后面两段讲我的反对意见呢？？？？

mjkUID: 127590

因为我3月26就要考了，可是现在这个水平，还是在没有限时下，查金山词霸写的
所以我现在很着急，而且现在都不知道该怎么办了！！！？？？？
各位，提点建议，一个月的时间，我该怎么做啊？？？

crusadeUID: 149710

一个月时间很充足了
依然是不停的练，另外多看看前人好的文章，多帮人改改，自己也会有提高的
查金山次把要注意，不要一看中文意思对就用，还要看看它具体的用法，不要拉到篮子里都是菜
总而言之我觉得一个月可以使你的水平有很大提高，如果你抓紧的话，没必要太过担忧。

雪夭UID: 142334

我也写了这篇，但是觉得拿不出来
呵呵
我才10来天了，你放心好了，加油

mjkUID: 127590

谢谢兄弟们的鼓励!!!!!
小生感激泣另!!!

mjkUID: 127590

最初由 mjk 发布
[B]万分感谢楼上的兄弟！！！ ：）

我想了一下你最后提出的问题，
我的本意是正文中前面两段讲反对意见，最后一段让步同意原题的部分观点。那我改成先第一段先让步同意，?.

以下省略...... [/B]

我改成这样,是不是要好一点????
请指教!