issue1 我的第一篇issue作文（详细评改by triumphbaby）

nk_abaUID: 153841

Form which side do we learn more , people who have the same views with us or those who are in the contradict standpoint? The arguer chooses the former for he thinks that disagreement would lead to dismay and inhibit learning. In my opinion, the dissimilar view is usually as important as the similar one.

For one hand, unanimous views will certainly bring people much benefit. It is true that most of us prefer to see some opinions sustaining their owns’, because agreement can not only stir up persons' enthusiasm in studying, but also promote communication and cooperation, which can help individual achieve his goal he may not complete by himself. For instance, in the field of science, especially in the time of knowledge exploding（想表达只是大爆炸的时代，无奈不会：）请指教） , many researchers believe that they can succeed much easier via the cooperation with the people in the same camp. However, overfull agreement may also block human advancement. Through the Chinese history, we can see that the vanishing of Qing Dynasty is just resulted from the governors' eyeless self-confidence and introverted deeds. To individual, agreement also likely makes a person so proud that he will be easily confined in a narrow gap which could induce his final loss.

So, people need different and even adverse ideas too. Different opinions can cause persons to detect their drawbacks at the present time as well as stimulating them to find more reasonable solution. We can find out a lot of examples which can illustrate the contributions of disagreement to human progress. For example, the development of science is just derived from the challenge from those pagans, among whom Galileo, the person who has invented the telescope and discovered the law of falling bodies, could be as a typical representation, to the authority. Undeniably, disagreement has some flaws, namely, it sometimes brings people stress which could impede development and even destroys affection among people and leads to ultimate abruption.

In conclusion, both agreement and disagreement are important to human, even though they sometimes bring us more or less obstructions in the way we go ahead. As long as people can treat them correctly, they will necessarily help us succeed.

原文强调相反意见，我基本说是的说不同意见，会不会有些跑题啊？好担心

poohUID: 146994

不跑，同意不同意都可以的

第2段后半部分应该归到下段，每段要说明一个main idea，不同的idea分段写。
语言基本可以，别着急，慢慢就写得多了，大家都有这么个过程。

记得下次贴题目上来啊，方便大家给你看。

triumphbabyUID: 156432

Form(From) which side do (can) we learn more, people who have the same views with us or those who are in the contradict standpoint? The arguer chooses the former for he thinks that disagreement would lead to dismay and inhibit learning. In my opinion, the dissimilar view is usually as important as the similar one.(第一段基本可以，没什么大毛病，第一个单词是不是typo？但是要注意全片文章的一致性，第一短views用的是复数形式，通篇都最好保持一致，其他的keyword类似。Note：偶以为第一段不要太长，如果不能很出彩，至少保证没有语法错误，切记，切记。)
在动笔之前，一定在心中有个蓝图了，分几短，以哪段为主，各短的长度，每段举几个例子，大体心中有数。不要太吝惜花在思考上的时间，一个清晰的思路和有条例的逻辑是拿高分的前提。对于这篇文章暂且分为四段（可能有点少？）第二段阐述agreement的好处，结尾处引出只注重agreement的不足。用来启下，这样的过渡句也可放在三段首，总之，过渡非常重要，你已经有意识地运用过渡句了，但是在句式上应该加强，总结出一些自己独特的过渡句，以不变应万变。ETS 的作文题可能换，但无论换到哪去，过渡是一定需要的不是吗？ok，第三段在过渡之后阐述disagreement的好处，四段总结。这是最common的结构，你用的也是这种。好了，先看看第二段有哪些不足。
For one hand（偶想这个词都被大家用滥了，换点新鲜的吧，秘密武器，呵呵）, unanimous views will certainly bring people much benefit. It is true that most of us prefer to see some opinions sustaining their (our) owns’, because agreement can not only stir up persons' enthusiasm in studying, but also promote communication and cooperation, which can help individual achieve his goal he may not complete by himself (which may not be completed by himself). For instance, in the field of science, especially in the time of knowledge exploding（想表达只是大爆炸的时代，无奈不会：）请指教） , many researchers believe that they can succeed much easier via the cooperation with the people in the same camp. However, overfull agreement may also block human advancement. Through the Chinese history, we can see that the vanishing of Qing Dynasty is just resulted from the governors' eyeless self-confidence and introverted deeds. To individual, agreement also likely makes a person so proud that he will be easily confined in a narrow gap which could induce his final loss.（看完这段的感觉是有些空洞，你总说字数凑不够，那么最好的凑字数的方法是什么呢？就是举例子，举例子还可以让文章更具说服力，例子举的生动，贴切，绝对是拿高分的关键。你看你这段，从however之后，都是说agreement的不好了，只用了一个泛泛的句子概括了它的好处，你有信心找出那么多论据来说disagreement的好处吗？所以为何不再说点agreement的好处，这样文章也不会太单薄。我的思路是第一个分论点agreement可以让a group of people gather together，他们有共同的idea，which can promote their interests on sth. Just as the old saying, interest is the best teacher, therefore, this  kind of agreement is definitely turn to a force or power to drive people make progress.阐明观点后就要举例子了，具体的比较好，不要那些什么知识爆炸阿之类的老套的话。想不到具体的例子就往自己身上想，往身边的人想，往熟悉的地方想。比如说，音乐，那些组乐队（band）的人难道不是有着共同的对音乐的追求？你可以举老美们都熟悉的组合，他们一定感兴趣，当然也可以说自己。我记得你跟我说初中的时候也想组乐队了吧，ok，就借题发挥，说自己和几个志同道合的哥们，如何互相学习，共同进步。反正ets也无法考证你的历史，呵呵。还有咱们南开的织音乐队阿，忘了吗？ok，我唠叨这么多就是抛砖引玉，希望能开扩开阔你的思路）分论点二，正像你说的，agreement能增强cooperation。现在的知识领域，越来越多的交叉学科（有个单词，我只会认不会写），各学科之间的合作也要求彼此间达成共识，有共同的目标。比如在统计系，有好多不是学数学出身的，像生物，计算机等等，他们就是把这些知识和统计结合起来，更好的解决实际问题，演化出生物统计，等交叉学科。你还可以想写别的更好的例子。
然后，把however之后的话，放在3段首，承上启下。
So, people need different and even adverse ideas too. Different opinions can cause persons to detect their drawbacks at the present time as well as stimulating them to find more reasonable solution. We can find out a lot of examples which can illustrate the contributions of disagreement to human progress. For example, the development of science is just derived from the challenge from those pagans, among whom Galileo, the person who has invented the telescope and discovered the law of falling bodies, could be as a typical representation, to the authority. Undeniably, disagreement has some flaws, namely, it sometimes brings people stress which could impede development and even destroys affection among people and leads to ultimate abruption.（这段这样写：尽管agreement多么多么好，如果一个人或一个社会只存在于agreement之间，无疑，其发展也会受到阻碍。然后可以接秦朝的历史，balabala。因此，我们也需要disagree。Why？之后应该接分论点了，第一，有了分歧才会引发争论，更深的思考，和对事物的探索。设想如果没人置疑“地心说”，大家都一味的agree，那么恐怕今天我们还是对外太空一无所知，更谈不上人类登陆火星的计划了，顺便可以捧捧他们的“MARS PLAN”，老美自己可得意了。如果没有Galileo，如果没有balabala，显而意见，正是这些持有不同意见的人促进了人类文明的发展，社会的进步。最好构成一个排比，多有气势的说。第二，disagreement可以开拓人们的视野。Every coin has two sides. 而我们常常只看到其中的一面，和那些与自己意见相左的人交流，可以帮助我们看到the other side of the coin。因为一个人的精力和时间有限，如果可以从别人那里直接吸取自己没有的东西，不失为一个捷径。这也正式为什么辩论在全世界都很流行的原因。在中国，几乎每个学校都有自己的辩论队，会开展各种辩论赛。这的确开阔了大家的视野。

In conclusion, both agreement and disagreement are important to human, even though they sometimes bring us more or less obstructions in the way we go ahead. As long as people can treat them correctly, they will necessarily help us succeed.最后，得出结论，都重要。这可以加个比喻，如果说agreement是our favourite food，但是我们不能只吃它，那样会营养不良，而disagreement恰恰就是那些可以提供给我们other nutrition 的source。结尾可以说，还要应该注意一个度的问题，适当的agreement和disagreement是有益的，过分的agreement就变成了盲从，而恶意，别有用心的disagreement又会阻止人们的前进。（如果时间允许，字数允许，举一些反面例子，可以让你的文章看齐来更客观）。 所以，最后，我们应该在agreement和disagreement之间找一个balance，让自己，让整个社会像更健康的方向更快的发展。

Summary：1.例子是最大的问题。他们的优先级是1贴切，2具体，3生动。实在没的说就往自己身上贴。
2. 用一些反问，排比，和比喻进去，文章一定会加分。
3.issue写作不像toefl，虽然有些形似，可以认为是TWE的扩展，要求论证更深刻，结构更复杂，内容更丰富，思想更全面。因此，写作的时候，就把自己想像成一个评论家，不能再像高中生那些看问题一就是一，二就是二了。真的要力求深刻些，写到这，又想起练高考作文的时候了，整天想着怎样让自己的议论更深刻。
4.注意结尾，TWE可以来个一两句话的尾巴，但这里最好不要。尾巴可以用来引申，同时也凑点字数；还来堵前面论证时的漏洞，极端情况；还可以提出自己的建议，挖掘更深的东东，看起来很有思想哦。
好了，先写到着，其他的方面以后该作文的时候再说。一定要仔细看我的评论阿，记之，行之。好累~`~，呼呼
加油！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

imongUID: 140258

楼上的辛苦！

最近我正在看TWE，觉得AWA似乎更倾向于persuade别人你的论点是客观事实，而TWE则更加个人化一些，reasons and example方面更加放松。不知道是不是这个样子。

triumphbabyUID: 156432

可以说AWA和TWE确实有这样的区别。my personal view is, TWE更看重写作技能，所以不是还有很多描述性的考试题目吗？语言比较重要吧。能AWA 却的确是改革后的逻辑考试，应该比较看重逻辑性，但是问题出在要把逻辑表达清楚，还要有过硬的语言功底，所以比较两篇文章，一片语言比较优美，行文流畅，论证没什么特别；另一片则逻辑清晰，论证严谨，语言只说得过去，如果我是issue的判官，我会给后者高分。
当然，再次申明，偶没研究过issue的判据，和ets的标准，纯粹个人观点。偶刚才seminar的时候想到的，呵呵

paisleyUID: 64183

楼主请来看一看你被改过的文章。