issue69 要考了，恳请大家狠批！ 今日第二个活靶子

混事魔王UID: 157546

69"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

in the early age, any fruits of scientific research may delight human beings because consequently productivity would very like be enhanced. However, in this modern age, with the increasing power of technology, along with encouraging scientific development, human beings have began to impose regulations on scientific research for a concern that they may be improperly used . Personally, I concede this is the most proper way for us. My view goes as the following:

primarily, it is improper for government to impose too much regulation on scientific research, for excessive regulation may decelerate our pace toward seeking truth. As we can image, truth might be just lie behind restrictions, tuth after placing  restrictions human beings may miss the discovery of truth because it is situated in an unreachable field. In the seventeenth, the Spanish government confined any theory cannot contradict with theory bolstered by theology, and such restriction have severely impeded the coming of some meaningful discoveries, the most eminent one being the heliocentric theory. what’s more, restrictions may also constrain the mind of scientists because they are less possible to judge thoroughly as a result of the missing parts taken out by restrictions. How far can our scientists go under so many fearsome restrictions?

As a result of that, the progress of our society will be possibly bogged in the lair. History has proved again and again that innovation in technology will significantly foster the development of our society. we have seen the stimulation of electronic revolution toward the improvement of our social productivity. Similarly, provided there is no discovery of Keynesianism in economics, there will be no effective economic system as it we are using today. It is extremely hard to evaluate exactly the expensive cost of restrictions imposed on scientific research.


However, in some crucial fields, it is extremely important for us to place a certain number of restrictions on scientific research. as we know, technology is a two edge weapon, which can be used indifferently for good and evil, as it is actually doing. At this point to say, government should place certain restrictions on scientific researches that are potentially harmful, especially toward those may severely damage our living existence. What our world would be if there is no restriction on the researching of use of nuclear power? And isn’t it indispensable to prevent any research detrimental to the ecosystem? Because technology has its negative aspects, government ought to predict potential disaster and place necessary restriction in order to protect our society and environment.


To sum up, government nowadays should generally hold an encouraging altitude toward varies scientific researches and developments, while to some vital and potentially harmful ones, our government should impose some restrictions. in this way, our society will develop rapidly and stably


谢谢大家！

xqmelissaUID: 140370

楼主请看这里：规范一下发贴格式喽！

https://bbs.gter.net/announcement.php?s=&forumid=23

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=172548

Thank you very much.

希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！

小破球，算了，姐姐我给你改标题了

以后注意啊！
否则删你的帖子没商量
:D  :D  :D

今天晕了，明天给你改

genie05UID: 30358

69"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

in[In] the early age, any [不要轻易使用这种绝对的次，严谨！！] fruits of scientific research may delight human beings because consequently[不可连用] productivity would very like[likely is enough] be enhanced[这个句子看着怎么都不爽，考虑修改] . However, in this modern age[nowadays, in modern agers], with the increasing power of technology, along with[不要along with 用as well as 或者and 就好] encouraging scientific development, human beings have began to impose regulations on scientific research for a concern that they may be improperly used . Personally, I concede this [“this” stands for what?] is the most proper way for us. My view goes as the following:[就单从开头来看，不是太能把握你对于题目的理解，或者说不能看出你的论点，你要论证什么？论证确实是有限制吗？如果这样论证的话是否不太合适？这两篇文章偶都没有怎么看，就看了一下开头，你可以去读一下，他们的开头表现的是什么
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=173410
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=168246
并不是说你要去照他们的开头，那个是典型的东方的开头方式，但是相对而言你可以看看你的首段没有表达出你想说的而且你必须要说的东西-----你的观点！]

primarily[Primarily,怎么都不大写？], it is improper for government to impose too much regulation [regulation是可数的] on scientific research, for excessive regulation may decelerate our pace toward seeking[不要这个SEEKING如果你要用TOWARDS的话，不然就是DECELERATE OUR PACE SEEKING TRUTH] truth. As we[all] can image, truth might be just lie behind restrictions, tuth[先用word检查再贴，谢谢] after placing restrictions human beings may miss the discovery of truth because it is situated in an unreachable field[不能理解你这个句子，而且两个句子的连接注意准确，不要过于随意，尤其在写长句子的时候]. In the seventeenth, the Spanish government confined any theory cannot contradict with theory bolstered by theology, and such restriction have [has?] severely impeded the coming of some meaningful discoveries, the most eminent one [of which注意两个句子的连接，不是中文，不是放在一起可以理解就可以了]  being the heliocentric theory. what’s[注意大小写！！] more, restrictions may also constrain the mind of scientists because they are less possible to judge thoroughly as a result of the missing parts taken out by restrictions. How far can our scientists go under so many fearsome restrictions?

As a result of that[建议用从句写出你的that 的指代的内容], the progress of our society will be possibly bogged in the lair. History has proved again and again that innovation in technology will significantly foster the development of our society. we[大写！！] have seen the stimulation of electronic revolution toward the improvement of our social productivity. Similarly, provided there is no discovery of Keynesianism in economics, there will be no effective economic system as it we are using today. It is extremely hard to evaluate exactly the expensive cost of restrictions imposed on scientific research.[请教一下前段和本段的划分依据是什么？]


However, in some crucial fields, it is extremely[一篇文章用了3个EXTREMELY?换一下吧] important for us to place a certain number of restrictions on scientific research. as[大写！！！FT，偶已经无语了] we know, technology is a two edge weapon [double-edged sword], which can be used indifferently for good and evil, as it is actually doing[后半个句子完全是废话]. At this point to say, government should place certain restrictions on scientific researches that are potentially harmful, especially toward those may severely damage our living existence[说话要有根据，例子拿出来！！]. What our world would be if there is no restriction on the researching of use of nuclear power? And isn’t it indispensable to prevent any research detrimental to the ecosystem? Because technology has its negative aspects, government ought to predict potential disaster and place necessary restriction in order to protect our society and environment.[同样的意思，反复再说就没有意思了，注意意思的发展，逻辑关系的发展推进]

To sum up, government nowadays should generally hold an encouraging altitude toward varies scientific researches and developments, while to some vital and potentially harmful ones, our government should impose some restrictions. in [大写！！]this way, our society will develop rapidly and stably.

[写出你的中文提纲，反思你的写作思路！
今天看得头痛了，不好意思，没改多少]

混事魔王UID: 157546

69"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

The speaker asserts government should try to avoid placing restrictions on scientific research and development. While on opposition with the speaker, I concede a certain number of restrictions should be imposed upon scientific researches by government in order to guide them in a proper way. My reasons go as the following:

Primarily, some necessary restrictions contribute to prevent scientific researches from being blindly taken out. As we all know, nowadays most scientific researches are carried out by enterprises for interest concerns. Due to this a grave problem arises here: there might be excessive researches aiming at the same destination in a nation or even in the world, like in the end of last century the number of projects to research new types of computer is much more than that is needed. Undoubtedly this is sort of waste in resources, including materials, manpower and fund. Provided some effective regulations of the number allowed are enacted in that field, such a waste can be avoided and then other researches in a status of insufficient of resources will be benefited because of more resources available. For example, our educational effect will be possibly improved if we cast part of the fund used in those unnecessary computer researches. At this point to say, government should enact restrictions in scientific researches to reduce unreasonably fervent investment and guard the society run properly.

In addition, restrictions on scientific research can keep us from severe disasters. Technology is a two-edged weapon, therefore we have to control its use in evil. Nowadays the power of nuclear weapons is so tremendous that the earth can be immediately destroyed by nuclear bombs. Hardly can we conceive what the circumstance would be if there is no restriction on its military use. Another eminent problem is the deterioration of our ecosystem. With the use of advanced equipments, we human beings fell down forests in an unbelievably fast speed, ending at numerous impeding climate problems, and some species of animals have been extinct because of the effective hunting derived from the help of technology. In this era when human technology has become highly mighty, government has to meditate carefully about how to make restriction to deviate from the curse of endless spending money in researching how to kill our fellows and destroy our ecosystem.

Admittedly, too many restrictions on scientific research will hamper the progress of our society. After all, what lies behind research is innovation, which is very likely to surge our society forward. Provided that our government has constrained any research aiming at reaching the outer space, there will be no satellite transmission and the advanced computer technology. In this way, the efficiency of the society and the standard of our life will be largely impaired.

To sum up, government ought to place a reasonable number of restrictions on scientific research, because they can ensure our society run in a proper course without suffering from severe disasters. However on the other hand, for redundant restrictions may hamper the development of our society, restrictions should be controlled within a reasonable range.

谢谢大家的批改！
又写了一篇
恳请大家狠批

混事魔王UID: 157546

顶
麻烦大家~~

mrzhangUID: 107572

写的不错

nmlyUID: 109487

69"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

The speaker asserts government should try to avoid placing restrictions on scientific research and development. While on opposition with the speaker, I concede a certain number of restrictions should be imposed upon scientific researches by government in order to guide them in a proper way. My reasons go as the following:

Primarily, some necessary restrictions contribute to prevent scientific researches from being blindly taken out. As we all know, nowadays most scientific researches are carried out by enterprises for interest concerns. Due to this a grave problem arises here: there might be excessive researches aiming at the same destination in a nation or even in the world, like in the end of last century the number of projects to research new types of computer is much more than that is needed. Undoubtedly this is a sort of waste in resources, including materials, manpower and funds. Provided some effective regulations of the number allowed are enacted in that field, such a waste can be avoided and then other researches in a status of insufficient of resources will be benefited because of more resources available. For example, our educational effect will be possibly improved if we cast parts of the fund used in those unnecessary computer researches这句unnecessary不太好吧,redundant如何?. At this point to say, government should enact restrictions in scientific researches to reduce unreasonably fervent investment and [B]guard the society run properly[/B]这个和前面说的关系不大吧.
例子感觉不太恰当，用在新型计算机的研究上的钱怎么会给教育呢，除非有个前提就是这些用在计算机研究的钱就是政府投资

In addition, restrictions on scientific research can [B]keep us from[/B]separate us from[color] severe disasters. Technology is a two-edged weapon, therefore we have to control its use in evil从这句开始跑题了. Nowadays the power of nuclear weapons is so tremendous that [B]the earth can be immediately destroyed by nuclear bombs[/B]我觉得改成主动语态好点,读起来也和主句比较对称. Hardly can we conceive what the circumstance would be if there is no restriction on its military use. Another eminent problem is the deterioration of our ecosystem. With the use of advanced equipments, we human beings [B]fell down forests[/B]disafforested in an unbelievably fast speed, [B]ending at numerous impeding climate problems, and some species of animals have been extinct[/B]and前后结构不对称,前面是名词,后面是从句 because of the effective hunting derived from the help of technology. In this era when [B]human technology has become highly mighty[/B]technology变的mighty?不合适吧,建议human with technology has....., government has to meditate carefully about how to make restriction to deviate from the curse of endless spending money in researching how to kill our fellows and destroy our ecosystem.就算这段你要说"技术使用的限制能避免严重灾难,最后一句这么说"政府不得不考虑如何如何",你觉得能回应你的TS吗?

这段论述的跑题了,你的论点是科学研究的限制，到下面变成了科学技术的使用，两个概念
这个，比如举克隆技术的例子可能会好一些


Admittedly, too many restrictions on scientific research will hamper the progress of our society. After all, what lies behind research is innovation, which is very likely to surge our society forward. Provided that our government has constrained any research aiming at reaching the outer space, there will be no satellite transmission and the advanced computer technology. In this way, the efficiency of the society and the [B]standard[/B]用quality吧 of our life will be largely impaired.

To sum up, government ought to place a reasonable number of restrictions on scientific research, because they can ensure our society run in a proper course without suffering from severe disasters. However on the other hand, for redundant restrictions may hamper the development of our society, restrictions should be controlled within a reasonable range.


哎,至少比偶的mousenglish强.....加油

xqmelissaUID: 140370

mousenglish

哈哈,死耗子的耗子语

魔王那个是球语,ballenglish
:D  :D  :D