issue175 请大家帮忙批批，快考试了。。

keldaUID: 156803

I175. "It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual."

The speaker asserts that innovation may gain some details from the effort of teamwork, while the true innovation come forth solely through the enterprise and unique perception of an individual. However, my view is that this assertion is too narrow and distorted the origin of innovation. In fact, it is hard to compare whether individual or a team is more significant for the innovation, both of them may play an important role based on different periods and fields.

In the past, most innovations come from the endeavor and creative idea of prominent scientists and scholars who impelled the emergence of inventions and discoveries by themselves. History is replete with abundant examples of reflecting this fact that individual is the main contributor to the whole society. One notable figure is Greek mathematician, engineer and physicist Archimedes who left plenty of valuable antiques to the offspring without anyone's help, such as the Archimedes Crew, the principle of buoyancy and so forth. Similarly, Watt, a British engineer and inventor, improved the steam engine independently that is the basis of modern, high-pressure steam engine through observing the boiling water. Therefore, there are many great inventions and theories that we are familiar with due to outstanding inventors and scientists.

Along with time elapsed, nowadays, more and more significant inventions and discoveries are outcomes of team cooperation, but not the achievement of individual nowadays. The first reason is that academic realms become more and more complicated and comprehensive with the progress of the science and civilization, so that nobody is able to grip entire knowledge in one professional field. For instance, economics evolves from a doctrine that simply investigated on the relationship between resource and human’s needs hundreds years ago to a broad and elaborate subject contained many branches such as resource economics, comparative economics, political economics and so forth. Therefore, scholars are most probably to choose one embranchments of a realm as their research scope nowadays. In most cases, they have to collaborate on making inventions, exploring unknown phenomenon and publishing new theories according to varies of professional knowledge and research direction. In addition, the boundary of each subject turns into ambiguous since interaction and communication among each subject become frequent and important via by the development of society. Usually, accomplishing a huge and complex program or experiment not only needs scholars from one realm, but also requires researchers from other relevant areas. When an artificial satellite is launched, experts from the realm of physical, computer and astronomers constitute an integrated team to ensure the success, anyone leave will cause the failure of the project. We must be especially careful not to understate the role of teamwork or else innovations cannot be sparked like candle lacking of fire to be kindled.

On the other hand, whether innovations rest on individual or on teamwork is flexible on case-by-case basis. With the respect to business world, I concede teamwork is the main source of the innovation that each member of the corporation have chance to propose opinions about improving the development of the company. For instance, stuffs in marketing department work together to create attractive advertisement to propagandize the new products. However, in the realm of art, painters, sculptors and musicians often produce a valuable artwork through their own inspiration but not cooperation with others. Therefore, innovation is not merely the result of intelligence and effort of individual, and it also needs the solidarity of group in some cases.

In conclusion, both individual and teamwork are indispensable factors for the victory of gaining innovations, whatever in the past or in contemporary society, and whatever in business world or in the art realm. People should ignore either of those two factors, instead should put them in a balance position.

keldaUID: 156803

谢谢大家的帮助！bow~~

paisleyUID: 64183

麻烦你改改这位同学的作文好吗？我也把你的作文的URL发给他了，你们可以互相改，互相帮助啊。比干等着强哦

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=173916

helenalexUID: 158065

The speaker asserts that innovation may gain some details from the effort of teamwork, while the true innovation come forth solely through the enterprise and unique perception of an individual. However, my view is that this assertion is too narrow and distorted the origin of innovation. In fact, it is hard to compare whether individual or a team is more significant for the innovation, both of them may play an important role based on different periods and fields.

In the past, most innovations come (came)from the endeavor and creative idea of prominent scientists and scholars who impelled the emergence of inventions and discoveries by themselves. History is replete with abundant examples (better no "of" here) reflecting this fact that individual is the main contributor to the whole society. One notable figure is Greek mathematician, engineer and physicist Archimedes who left plenty of valuable antiques to the offspring without anyone's help, such as the Archimedes Crew, the principle of buoyancy and so forth. Similarly, Watt, a British engineer and inventor, improved the steam engine independently that is the basis of modern, high-pressure steam engine through observing the boiling water. Therefore, there are many great inventions and theories that we are familiar with due to outstanding inventors and scientists.

Along with time elapsed,(is this a valid parlance?) nowadays, more and more significant inventions and discoveries are outcomes of team cooperation, but(better no but) not the achievement of individual nowadays. The first reason is that academic realms become more and more complicated and comprehensive with the progress of the science and civilization, so that nobody is able to grip entire knowledge in one professional field. For instance, economics evolves from a doctrine that simply investigated on the relationship between resource and human’s needs hundreds years ago to a broad and elaborate subject contained many branches such as resource economics, comparative economics, political economics and so forth. Therefore, scholars are most probably to choose one embranchments of a realm as their research scope nowadays. In most cases, they have to collaborate on making inventions, exploring unknown phenomenon and publishing new theories according to varies of professional knowledge and research direction. In addition, the boundary of each subject turns into ambiguous since interaction and communication among each subject become frequent and important via by the development of society. Usually, accomplishing a huge and complex program or experiment not only needs scholars from one realm, but also requires researchers from other relevant areas. When an artificial satellite is launched, experts from the realm of physical, computer and astronomers constitute an integrated team to ensure the success, anyone leave will cause the failure of the project. We must be especially careful not to understate the role of teamwork or else innovations cannot be sparked like candle lacking of fire to be kindled.
(I don't think the example of satellite is relevant here. Lauching a satellite is not a kind of innovation, isn't it?)
On the other hand, whether innovations rest on individual or on teamwork is flexible (I'm not sure whether flexible is approbriate here. better say:"...just depends"on case-by-case basis. With the respect to business world, I concede teamwork is(to be?) the main source of the innovation that each member of the corporation have chance to propose opinions about improving the development of the company. For instance, stuffs in marketing department work together to create attractive advertisement to propagandize the new products. However, in the realm of art, painters, sculptors and musicians often produce a valuable artwork through their own inspiration but not cooperation with others. Therefore, innovation is not merely the result of intelligence and effort of individual, and it also needs the solidarity of group in some cases.

In conclusion, both individual and teamwork are indispensable factors for the victory of gaining innovations, whatever in the past or in contemporary society, and whatever in business world or in the art realm. People should ignore either of those two factors, instead should put them in a balance position.

呵呵，说说总体感觉吧，首先，比我能说！例子很多（虽然不是个个中肯贴切）一段里面不必那么多例子的，窃以为，一个说得深一点儿，加上评论就差不多了。第二，语言还算娴熟，个别语法错误。总之一个字弓虽呀！pfpf

keldaUID: 156803

谢谢helenalex的指教。我也觉得卫星那个例子不是很好。你有没有什么好的建议？

paisleyUID: 64183

不错不错，看见你们两个互相，很好哟！可以结成对子呀：）

icyscorpioUID: 146659

The speaker asserts that innovation may gain some details from the effort of teamwork, while the true innovation come forth solely through the enterprise and unique perception of an individual. However, my view is that（这个挺别扭，可能是我水平不够，但觉得改成in my point of view,可能好一点） this assertion is too narrow and distorted（这个词好像用的不对，应该是个动词吧，那就不就座是过去时吧） the origin of innovation.（总觉得这样说像argument，还是不用这样明确的否定作者的观点吧） In fact, it is hard to compare whether individual or a team is more significant for the innovation, both of them may play an important role based on different periods and fields. （个人觉得这个观点还比较清楚和明确）

In the past, most innovations come from the endeavor and creative idea of prominent scientists and scholars who impelled the emergence of inventions and discoveries by themselves. History is replete with abundant examples of reflecting this fact that individual is the main contributor to the whole society. One notable figure is Greek mathematician, engineer and physicist Archimedes who left plenty of valuable antiques to the offspring without anyone's help, such as the Archimedes Crew, the principle of buoyancy and so forth. Similarly,（我觉得这个词用的好，我学习之，不过我很少在一段中写两个例子） Watt, a British engineer and inventor, improved the steam engine independently that is the basis of modern, high-pressure steam engine through observing the boiling water. Therefore, there are many great inventions and theories that we are familiar with due to outstanding inventors and scientists.

Along with time elapsed, nowadays, more and more significant inventions and discoveries are outcomes of team cooperation, but not the achievement of individual nowadays. The first reason is that academic realms become more and more complicated and comprehensive with the progress of the science and civilization, so that nobody is able to grip entire knowledge in one professional field. For instance, economics evolves from a doctrine that simply investigated on the relationship between resource and human’s needs hundreds years ago to a broad and elaborate subject contained many branches such as resource economics, comparative economics, political economics and so forth. Therefore,（这个词好像出现过，所以是不是考虑换一个，什么hence一类的） scholars are most probably to choose one embranchments of a realm as their research scope nowadays. In most cases, they have to collaborate on making inventions, exploring unknown phenomenon and publishing new theories according to varies of professional knowledge and research direction. In addition, the boundary of each subject turns into ambiguous since interaction and communication among each subject become frequent and important via by the development of society. Usually, accomplishing a huge and complex program or experiment not only needs scholars from one realm, but also requires researchers from other relevant areas. When an artificial satellite is launched, experts from the realm of physical, computer and astronomers constitute an integrated team to ensure the success, anyone leave will cause the failure of the project. （我认为这里加一个总结的标志词更明确一些）We must be especially careful not to understate the role of teamwork or else innovations cannot be sparked like candle lacking of fire to be kindled.

On the other hand, whether innovations rest on individual or on teamwork is flexible on case-by-case basis. With the respect to business world, I concede teamwork is the main source of the innovation that each member of the corporation have chance to propose opinions about improving the development of the company. For instance,（这个引导词好像没什么用，反正觉得没有更通顺一些） stuffs in marketing department work together to create attractive advertisement to propagandize the new products. However,（换个词吧，nevertheless） in the realm of art, painters, sculptors and musicians often produce a valuable artwork through their own inspiration（仿佛加个逗号好一些） but not cooperation with others. Therefore, innovation is not merely the result of intelligence and effort of individual, and it also needs the solidarity of group in some cases.（这个总结句我个人觉得写得不好，好像把这段的主题给弄的不清楚了，你的愿意不是说应该具体情况具体分析吗？怎么总结成偏向一边了？反正我觉得这样写有强调后面分句的效果。）

In conclusion, both individual（写成个人天赋或个人努力更好，因为后面是团队合作，个人不能和协作并列不是？） and teamwork are indispensable factors for the victory of gaining innovations, ｛whatever in the past or in contemporary society, and whatever in business world or in the art realm.｝（我觉得不要说，说了反倒显得只针对这些情况） People should ignore either of those two factors, instead should put them in a balance position.

我觉得有些地方用词不错，主要是用一些我不认识的，：），但是有些小地方用词有重复的现象。
三段的主题挺明确的，例子一般，我觉得这是通病。我也是，在短短时间内写完就已经很难了。
但是我仍然觉得写成这样平行观点的是不是不是太合适，很容易被人以为观点不清。但你这篇还好，写的不错。仔细想想，你先用两段写古代和现代不一样，又用一段写商业和艺术不一样，好像，反正我感觉不是那样的舒服。总之，建议还是偏向一边好，最后来个让步不也挺完整吗？
个人观点。希望以后多多合作。

keldaUID: 156803

谢谢icyscorpio,你的修改很好。确实例子是我现在的一大弱项，我现在也只能用一些自己知道得比较俗的例子往上套。快考试了，我也只能抽空看些好例子了。
还有你提到的先支持再让步很对，我这样些确实给人一种立场不是很明确的感觉。
希望以后可以多多交流。：）