issue50 教育类题目，这题出现过25啊，大家帮忙看看，狂骂吧，谢过先。

icyscorpioUID: 146659

50. "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
为了改善大学的教学质量，所有的教员都应该被要求花一定时间到学术领域以外去参加和他们所教科目相关的工作。

Is it essential for all faulty at the college and university level to spend time working outside the academic world?  The speaker claims so, and he/she assert that the faculty should work in professions related to the courses which they teach, so as to enhance the quality of instruction.  Since these kind of hot issue would of course arouse long-time and intensely discussion, each person, who have diversified education, background, research and interest direction perhaps have absolutely different point of view.  I concede that to some extent it is unnecessary and improper to oblige every faculty in college and university to work in the society.  But, I firmly have the harmonious perspective with the speaker.  In other words, it is obviously indispensable for the faulty to have some connection with the real society outside the academic world.  Moreover, taking work in professions relevant to the courses they teach is an effective shortcut.

When encountered with this issue, what must be mentioned is what the ultimate aim for the college and university is.  This problem refers to several portions, such as social, education, science and so on.  However, the pith of it would not evade form the intention to increase the product ability for the sake of attaining the human great advancement and progress.  So, the higher education, mostly the college and university level education should pay enough attention on the relationship between the reality and the theory.  To accomplish this objective, the faulty in the college and university have to connect with the relevant work in the society.  He/She might find something valuable for the work in the college and university, particular which is the newest evolvement in his/her research field.  With these work outside the academic world, the faculty undoubtedly could give the students more effective and efficient instruction.  I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this point.  An authority in my department, maybe one of the top 10 respectful professionals in the composites research in China, always join himself to the industry and market.  Since his interested direction is always the most front area, meanwhile, with his experience, we all learn something really useful in his class.

Furthermore, spending some time working outside academic in professions relevant to the courses the faulty teach in the college and university give them more opportunity to expand ken and cooperate with other professionals in the same or relevant fields.  As we known, modern society suffered form the explosion of information, the new emerged information economy give the traditional convention serious challenge.  With the more particular divided societal work, the junction in some knowledge becomes gradually vital.  Hence, if fail to neglect the practice immediately, any theory in the textbook would shift to out of date.

Admittedly, too much and frequent connection with the society would distract the energy which should be focus on the academic research initially.  It is impossible for a person to have the same high passion on the academic research and teach work in college and university after busy work in the society, whether the work is pertinent to his/her teaching courses or not.  And not every department should force their faculty to attend the work outside the academic, such as some professionals do pure theory research, what is the significance for them to join some work in the society?  It is of course that the college and the university provide them the most suitable environment, for the reason that these researches share a common ground that they all have little association with the practice.

Generally, all part of engineering has the compact connection between theory and performance.  So, for faulty in college and university, it is not only imperative to familiar with the course they teach, but also compulsory to keep ways and means for application in hand.  Despite some pure theory research may require this less, yet working outside the academic world is always crucial under the prerequisite that it would not affect the normal work in the college and university.

xiawei_2004UID: 157109

Is it essential for all faulty at the college and university level to spend time working outside the academic world? The speaker claims so, and he/she assert that the faculty should work in professions related to the courses which they teach, so as to enhance the quality of instruction. Since these kind of hot issue(s) would of course arouse long-time and intensely discussion, each person, who have (has) diversified education, background, research and interest direction perhaps have (has) absolutely different point of view. I concede that to some extent it is unnecessary and improper to oblige every faculty in college and university to work in the society. But, I firmly have the harmonious perspective with the speaker. In other words, it is obviously indispensable for the faulty to have some connection(s) with the real society outside the academic world. Moreover, taking work in professions relevant to the courses they teach is an effective shortcut.

When encountered with this issue, what must be mentioned is what the ultimate aim for the college and university is(用encountered，主语是谁？). This problem refers to several portions, such as social, education, science and so on. However, the pith of it would not evade form(好像没有这种用法吧，form应该去掉) the intention to increase the product ability for the sake of attaining the human great advancement and progress. So, the higher education, mostly the college and university level education(有些中式英语的味道) should pay enough attention on the relationship between the reality and the theory. To accomplish this objective, the faulty in the college and university have to connect with the relevant work in the society. He/She might find something valuable for the work in the college and university, particular which is the newest evolvement in his/her research field. With these work outside the academic world, the faculty undoubtedly could give the students more effective and efficient instruction. I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this point. An authority in my department, maybe one of the top 10 respectful professionals in the composites research in China, always join(s) himself to the industry and market. Since his interested direction is always the most front area(the most front area这种说法不好，不如直接改称advanced), meanwhile, with his experience, we all learn something really useful in his class.

Furthermore, spending some time working outside academic in professions relevant to the courses the faulty teach in the college and university give them more opportunity to expand ken and cooperate with other professionals in the same or relevant fields. As we known, modern society suffered(suffers) form(from) the explosion of information，the new emerged(emerging) information economy give(s) the traditional convention serious challenge(不如该成seriously challenges traditional convention). With the more particular divided societal work, the junction in some knowledge becomes gradually(gradually becomes) vital. Hence, if fail to neglect the practice immediately, any theory in the textbook would shift to out of date.

Admittedly, too much and frequent connection with the society would distract the energy which should be focus on the academic research initially(initiallty修饰research？). It is impossible for a person to have the same high passion on the academic research and teach work in college and university after busy work in the society, whether the work is pertinent to his/her teaching courses or not. And not every department should force their faculty to attend the work outside the academic, such as some professionals do pure theory research, what is the significance for them to join some work in the society? It is of course that the college and the university provide them the most suitable environment, for the reason that these researches share a common ground that they all have little association with the practice.

Generally, all part of engineering has the compact connection between theory and performance. So, for faulty in college and university, it is not only imperative to familiar with the course they teach, but also compulsory to keep ways and means for application in hand. Despite some pure theory research may require this less, yet working outside the academic world is always crucial under the prerequisite that it would not affect the normal work in the college and university.改得不好，见笑了

icyscorpioUID: 146659

看来我的时态错误不少啊，都是TMD因为写的太快的原因，不好意思。：（
谢谢谢谢你，不知这北京的朋友什么时候考啊？

keldaUID: 156803

50. "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
为了改善大学的教学质量，所有的教员都应该被要求花一定时间到学术领域以外去参加和他们所教科目相关的工作。

Is it essential for all faulty at the college and university level to spend time working outside the academic world? The speaker claims so, and he/she assert (asserts) that the faculty should work in professions related to the courses which they teach, so as to enhance the quality of instruction. Since these（these后面加复数，用this） kind of hot issue would of course arouse long-time and intensely discussion, each person, who have(has) diversified education, background, research and interest direction perhaps have(has) absolutely different point of view（views）. (这句没有必要放在第一段)I concede that to some extent it is unnecessary and improper to oblige every faculty in college and university to work in the society. But, I firmly have the harmonious perspective with the speaker. In other words, it is obviously indispensable for the faulty to have some connection with the real society outside the academic world. Moreover, taking work in professions relevant to the courses they teach is an effective shortcut. （你的第一段写的有点长，只要用两三句亮出你的观点就可以了，应该把更多的精力放在后面的分析中）

When encountered with this issue, what must be mentioned is what the ultimate aim for the college and university is. This problem refers to several portions, such as social, education, science and so on. However, the pith of it would not evade form the intention to increase the product ability for the sake of attaining the human great advancement and progress. （感觉最好用肯定句明确教育的目的）So, the higher education, mostly the college and university level education should pay enough attention on the relationship between the reality and the theory. To accomplish this objective, the faulty in the college and university have to connect with the relevant work in the society. He/She might find something valuable for the work in the college and university, particular which is the newest evolvement in his/her research field. With these work（information） outside the academic world, the faculty undoubtedly could give the students more effective and efficient instruction(instructions). I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this point. An authority in my department, maybe one of the top 10 respectful professionals in the composites research in China, always join (joins) himself to the industry and market. Since his interested direction is always the most front area （always concerns the most front areas）, meanwhile, with his experience, we all learn something really useful in his class.（段首有点罗嗦，应该一开始写明分论点。）

Furthermore, spending some time working outside academic in professions relevant to the courses the faulty teach in the college and university give them more opportunity（opportunities） to expand ken and cooperate with other professionals in the same or relevant fields. （如果与相同领域的专家进行交流，那么这就不算是学术领域之外的活动了吧？）As we known, modern society suffered form the explosion of information, the new emerged information economy give the traditional convention serious challenge. With the more particular divided societal work, the junction in some knowledge becomes gradually vital. Hence, if fail to neglect the practice immediately, any theory in the textbook would shift to out of date. (如果加一些例证论述就可以更好的支持你的分论点)

Admittedly, too much and frequent connection with the society would distract the energy which should be focus on the academic research initially. It is impossible for a person to have the same high passion on the academic research and teach work in college and university after busy work in the society, whether the work is pertinent to his/her teaching courses or not. And not every department should force their faculty to attend the work outside the academic, such as some professionals do pure theory research, what is the significance for them to join some work in the society? It is of course that the college and the university provide them the most suitable environment, for the reason that these researches share a common ground that they all have little association with the practice.

Generally, all part of engineering has the compact connection between theory and performance. So, for faulty（all faculty） in college and university, it is not only imperative (for them) to familiar with the course they teach, but also compulsory (for them) to keep ways and means for application in hand. Despite some pure theory research (researches) may require this (this means what? 指代不清) less, yet（好像这个分句和前一句没有什么转折的关系吧？）working outside the academic world is always crucial under the prerequisite that it would not affect the normal work in the college and university.
优点：结构清楚，论证充分
缺点：开头段过长，理由段应该在段首就亮出分论点，不应该做太多的铺垫。语言方面的问题主要是单复数用的不好。
个人意见，仅作参考。呵呵。：）

icyscorpioUID: 146659

谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢了，我吃饭去先，回来看你的，好不容易找到的，这里帖子太多了。
我现在写ISSUE总是超时，我4.10考，单词现在还很不行呢，其他也没开始看，除了看了些杨　朋的难句，急啊。
不知道现在写作文怎么那么多的废话。烦。。。。

icyscorpioUID: 146659

还有没强人了，再给指点一下吧，别总是这样没人理的状态啊。
再谢一次，好几次吧。

我一定会成功^_^UID: 138474

ft!偶第一次改作文,花了近两个小时呀!可是这个破电脑,把偶的心血全毁了!!!估计全香港再也没有人用这么破的电脑了,除了偶们这些可怜的visitors.真想砸了它!sigh.......等俺气消了再重新改!

SRVUID: 157299

Is it essential for all faulty at the college and university level to spend time working outside the academic world? The speaker claims so, and he/she assert单复数the faculty should work in professions related to the courses which they teach, so as to enhance the quality of instruction. 《《Since these kind of hot issue would of course arouse long-time and intensely副词？ discussion, each person, who have diversified education, background, research and interest direction perhaps have absolutely different point of view.》》 I concede that to some extent此处应该加逗号吧？ it is unnecessary and improper to oblige every faculty in college and university to work in the society. But, I firmly have the harmonious perspective with the speaker. In other words, it is obviously indispensable for the faulty to have some connection with the real society outside the academic world. Moreover, taking work in professions relevant to the courses they teach is an effective shortcut.我觉得开头废话多了点，还是开门见山的比较好，开头些多了有凑字的嫌疑，还有耽误时间，难免紧张

When encountered with this issue, what must be mentioned is what the ultimate aim for用of吧？ the college and university is. This problem refers to several portions, such as social, education, science and so on. However, the pith of it would not evade form the intention to increase the product ability for the sake of attaining the human great advancement and progress. So, the higher education, mostly the college and university level education should pay enough attention on the relationship between the reality and the theory. To accomplish this objective, the faulty in the college and university have to connect with the relevant work 教职员工需要于相关工作连接？这个用法不太妥当吧？ in the society. He/She might find something valuable for the work in the college and university, particular which is the newest evolvement in his/her research field. With these work outside the academic world, the faculty undoubtedly could give the students more effective and efficient instruction. I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this point. An authority in my department, maybe one of the top 10 respectful professionals in the composites research in China, always join himself to the industry and market. Since his interested direction is always the most front area, meanwhile, with his experience, we all learn something really useful in his class.

Furthermore, spending some time working outside academic in professions relevant to the courses the faulty teach in the college and university give them more opportunity to expand ken and cooperate with other professionals in the same or relevant fields. As we known, modern society suffered form the explosion of information, the new emerged information economy give the traditional convention serious challenge. With the more particular divided societal work, the junction in some knowledge becomes gradually vital. Hence, if fail to neglect the practice immediately, any theory in the textbook would shift to out of date.

Admittedly, too much and frequent connection with the society would distract the energy which should be focus on the academic research initially. It is impossible for a person to have the same high passion on the academic research and teach work in college and university after busy work in the society, whether the work is pertinent to his/her teaching courses or not. And not every department should force their faculty to attend the work outside the academic, such as some professionals do pure theory research, what is the significance for them to join some work in the society? It is of course that the college and the university provide them the most suitable environment, for the reason that these researches share a common ground that they all have little association with the practice.

Generally, all part of engineering has the compact connection between theory and performance. So, for faulty in college and university, it is not only imperative to familiar with the course they teach, but also compulsory to keep ways and means for application in hand. Despite some pure theory research may require this less Despite 后面加名词吧？, yet working outside the academic world is always crucial under the prerequisite that it would not affect the normal work in the college and university
总体还不错，比我的强，呵呵。加油

cxqq2002UID: 150983

Is it essential for all faulty at the college and university level to spend time working outside the academic world? The speaker claims so, and he/she assert(asserts) that the faculty should work in professions related to the courses which they teach, so as to enhance the quality of instruction. Since these kind of hot issue would of course arouse long-time and intensely discussion, each person, who have diversified education, background, research and interest direction perhaps have absolutely different point of view.(这句话没什么实际意义，可要可不要） I concede that to some extent it is unnecessary and improper to oblige every faculty in college and university to work in the society. But, I firmly have the harmonious perspective with the speaker. In other words, it is obviously indispensable for the faulty to have some connection with the real society outside the academic world. Moreover, taking work in professions relevant to the courses they teach is an effective shortcut.
（提点建议：首段有点罗索，问题+作者意见+你同意作者意见就可以了）

When encountered with this issue, what must be mentioned is what the ultimate aim for the college and university is. This problem refers to several portions, such as social, education, science and so on. However, the pith of it would not evade form the intention to increase the product ability for the sake of attaining the human great advancement and progress. So, the higher education, mostly the college and university level education should pay enough attention on(to) the relationship between the reality (practice)and the theory. To accomplish this objective, the faulty in the college and university have to connect with the relevant work in the society. He/She might find something valuable for the work in the college and university, particular which is the newest evolvement in his/her research field. With these work outside the academic world, the faculty undoubtedly could give the students more effective and efficient instruction. I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this point. An authority in my department, maybe one of the top 10 respectful professionals in the composites research in China, always join himself to the industry and market. Since his interested direction is always the most front area, meanwhile, with his experience, we all learn something really useful in his class.(例子很好，感觉你总是在刻意用某些句型，因此有时不能准确地表达，建议你用自己最熟悉的句型写，熟练后在学别人的句型）

Furthermore, spending some time working outside academic in professions relevant to the courses the faulty teach in the college and university give them more opportunity to expand ken（建议用horizon, 我遇到一个老外对这词很陌生，所以我想可能他们不太用ken而用horizon) and cooperate with other professionals in the same or relevant fields. As we known, modern society suffered form the explosion of information, the new emerged information economy give the traditional convention serious(great) challenge. With the more particular(subtlely) divided societal work, the junction in some knowledge becomes gradually vital. Hence, if fail to neglect the practice immediately, any theory in the textbook would shift to out of date. (某些修饰词不太贴切）

Admittedly, too much and frequent connection with the society would distract the energy which should be focus（focused) on the academic research initially. It is impossible for a person to have the same high passion on the academic research and teach work in college and university after busy work in the society, whether the work is pertinent to his/her teaching courses or not. And not every department should force(necessarily require) their faculty to attend the work outside the academic, such as some professionals(professors) do pure theory research, what is the significance for them to join some work in the society? It is of course that the college and the university provide them the most suitable environment, for the reason that these researches share a common ground that they all have little association with the practice.(过于强调句式了）

Generally（很好）, all part of engineering has the compact connection between theory and performance. So, for faulty in college and university, it is not only imperative to familiar with the course they teach, but also compulsory to keep ways and means for application in hand. Despite some pure theory research may require this less, yet working outside the academic world is always crucial under the prerequisite that it would not affect the normal work in the college and university.
注意避免用绝对化词汇：absolutely, always,替换为somewhat, to some degree和sometimes.
不要过分强调句式，其实简单的句式照样拿高分，只要表意清楚，通畅。
文章的思路很清晰，ts最好能精练些，做到开门见山。