【独立写作】西瓜贝的作业贴11.23

西瓜贝UID: 3546565

东方欲晓bnu 发表于 2014-10-20 20:12
1015 欢迎讨论~~

恩，应该是我第二点用的那个fail to有些误导作用吧，其实我想讲的是旅行对于了解自然景观（第一点）和学习人文背景（第二点）都要优于去博物馆。第三点确实是一个让步。
还是措辞不当啊。。。谢谢批评~~

zuokanyunqi123UID: 3556753

已改 很好

cherylljyanUID: 3498963

10 20互评

西瓜贝UID: 3546565

cherylljyan 发表于 2014-10-22 15:15
10 20互评

昨天已经提交了啊…

壹乐UID: 3564739

10.17我也写了。 不过写得比较生活化。没有楼主那么讲究逻辑。
我通过慎小嶷的裸奔法想出以下idea供参考：
1. Peers are always in the same team, influenced by same culture;   
2. Elders' pieces of advice are more trustworthy because they are not as emotional as us but they are more forward-looking.
3.Elders have much more experiences than us;  
4. Peers are more skillful in terms of Internet or electronic products.
5. Elders shoulder more responsibilities than younger.
6.Elders' advice will be helpful for young people's careers.
7. most teenagers at this age are addicted to temptation, and put less energy to their commitments.

shaoshanglqyUID: 3517688

已改~~

Richard_FongUID: 3496847

上次的综合写作改好了
西瓜贝独立写作作业10.20 re by R.docx (11.32 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2014-10-24 16:56:43 上传

下载次数: 1

dolphin_wbyUID: 3408651

好像18号被欠了一次？