issue120 进入[color=#0000C0]瓶颈期，大家扔点砖头，给点感觉吧

seeseafastUID: 127774

好像进入一种瓶颈期，写出来的冬冬都差不多，没什么进步了。只好让大家的砖头让我觉醒一下。

120.So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.

Now, people face new and complex things such as new technology--machines, computers, and new thought. All what people see, currently, seems big different from those past things in various sides. So, some people argue that an understanding of the past would provide little guidance for living in the present. As far as I am concerned, I believe that an understanding of the past will contribute greatly to guide living in the present, because most of today things are the inherence the past and people can find the conference for today in the past.

In the first place, most things today have inherence effect from the past, which combine the things. For example, in science field, the atomic theory, which is the basis theory of nuclear power and nuclear plant and so forth, has inherent from the Einstein's equation--E=mc2. If someone cannot study the history of the thinking process of Einstein in the equation and consider relative material in history, he or she cannot completely understand the meaning and thought in the equation. Only know the expression--E=mc2, cannot solve any problem. It is also real in art field. The development of art has a history inherent process. An artist, when he or she creates new expression forms or ideas, must originate the forms or ideas from learning and thing the old ones. Otherwise, the artist cannot know the value in his or her mind, and express the mind in correct ways. Such as Picasso, Beethoven, and Da Vince all created their achievement based on the understanding of the old art. As New Town ever said (and I paraphrase): "Why I can gain those great discoveries is the reason that I stand the should of the formers." It means that New Town contributed his achievements on the understanding of the formers' works and grasps the merits for building new one. In short, because of the inherence of things, people have to consider the history.

In the second place, the things that ever had happened in the history always happened again in the later time. What had changed in those things was only the locations and time. For example, the World War I and the World War II have many comparing points. If the leaders can study and understand the history, it might help to cease the war in the further. In addition, if the scientists could take care of the error happened in the history, they would can more effective in their works. For instance, the misunderstanding of the religious had leaded to the faults in many scientists in history. Current scientists learn to treat the physic things with objective attitude, which making a rapid process in the recently hundred years. Especially in business field, the success and loss has its features, the people who take time to learn and study the history events in business in history would know more for his or her success. In short, if people can know the history events for comparing with today events, they would more correctly and reasonably in decision and judgment.

In addition, one can benefit from the understanding of a widely history. For example, students learn art history, science history, business history, and so forth. Those knowledge would help the students know more rapidly and deeply of today things. And the understanding of the relationship of those things in history would give his or her conferences for today relationship among most things.

Further more, if students know little of history events, students would confuse many things today. For example, if the student in China did not learn the history between China and Japan, his or her could be not contained by society. As the Prof. Lee, the head of History Department of my university, ever said: " History is the soul of one nation. If the people loss the remember of their nation history, the nation would be loss for ever." It means that one nation must keep the people understanding the nation history for the nation feeling, which is essential for a nation.

To sum up, history cannot be neglected for any people in any field. History plays complex effects in daily life. Firstly, history is guidance for many researchers. Secondly, history plays a conference role for the decision. In addition, history gives a nation feeling to people.

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

Now, people face new and complex things such as new technology(和things矛盾)--machines, computers, and new thought(s). All what people see, currently, seems big(?) different from those past things in various sides. So, some people argue that an understanding of the past would provide little guidance for living in the present. As far as I am concerned, I believe(和as far as I am concerned 重复) that an understanding of the past will contribute greatly to guide living in the present, [U]because most of today things are the inherence the past and people can find the conference for today in the past.[/U] (语病)

In the first place, most things today(直接说today) [U]have inherence effect [/U]  from the past, which combine the things(不通啊). For example, in science field, the atomic theory, which is the basis theory of nuclear power and nuclear plant and so forth, has inherent from the Einstein's equation--E=mc2. If someone cannot study the history of the thinking process of Einstein in the equation and consider relative material in history, he or she cannot completely understand the meaning and thought in the equation. Only know the expression--E=mc2, cannot solve any problem. It is also real in art field. The development of art has a history inherent process. An artist, when he or she creates new expression forms or ideas, must originate the forms or ideas from learning and thing the old ones. Otherwise, the artist cannot know the value in his or her mind, and express the mind in correct ways. Such as Picasso, Beethoven, and Da Vince all created their achievement based on the understanding of the old art. As New Town ever said (and I paraphrase): "Why I can gain those great discoveries is the reason that I stand the should of the formers." It means that New Town contributed his achievements on the understanding of the formers' works and grasps the merits for building new one. In short, because of the inherence of things, people have to consider the history.(只有例子啊??花这么大的篇幅写例子啊)现在和过去有联系,什么样的联系 为什么会有 它的重要性?

In the second place, the things that ever had happened in the history always happened again in the later time. What had changed in those things was only the locations and time. For example, the World War I and the World War II have many comparing points. If the leaders can study and understand the history, it might help to cease the war in the further. In addition, if the scientists could take care of the error happened in the history, they would can more effective in their works. For instance, the misunderstanding of the religious had leaded to the faults in many scientists in history. Current scientists learn to treat the physic things with objective attitude, which making a rapid process in the recently hundred years. Especially in business field, the [U]success and loss [/U](success and failure, achivement and loss 不要乱电鸳鸯)  has its features, the people who take time to learn and study the history events in business in history would know more for his or her success. In short, if people can know the history events for comparing with today events, they would more correctly and reasonably in decision and judgment.是不是应该说从过去我们能到一些规律和教训之类的 其实这和body第一部分意义上有重合的部分 你觉得呢?

In addition, one can benefit from the understanding of a widely history. For example, students learn art history, science history, business history, and so forth. Those knowledge would help the students know more rapidly and deeply of today things. And the understanding of the relationship of those things in history would give his or her conferences for today relationship among most things. 又是例子 能不能讲道理

Further more, if students know little of history events, students would confuse many things today. For example, if the student in China did not learn the history between China and Japan, his or her could be not contained by society. As the Prof. Lee, the head of History Department of my university, ever said: " History is the soul of one nation. If the people loss the remember of their nation history, the nation would be loss for ever." It means that one nation must keep the people understanding the nation history for the nation feeling, which is essential for a nation.

说来说去就那么一点意思,感觉你没有想开来,每个逻辑层次之间的关系应该再考虑,我觉得他们都能互为论证了

To sum up, history cannot be neglected for any people in any field. History plays complex effects in daily life. Firstly, history is guidance for many researchers. Secondly, history plays a conference role for the decision. In addition, history gives a nation feeling to people.

用词不够准确 加油
不要暗示自己在什么阶段 往前走就好了
我快考了 限时还不成功呢 我都不急

seeseafastUID: 127774

最初由 九月爱上乒乓球 发布
[B]Now, people face new and complex things such as new technology(和things矛盾)--machines, computers, and new thought(s). All what people see, currently, seems big..

以下省略...... [/B]

我的提纲是
1.历史和现在是继承的关系。了解过去有助于深刻了解现代事物
2.历史事件对现在有指导意义。要吸取历史教训
3.历史对一些事物关系的影响。比如国家间的关系
我本来觉得历史和现代就是个继承性的问题。然后分成指导，教训，和国家关系三方面。用词的却是差了点。呵呵。我现在关键是想把文章的系统脉络掌握好。欢迎对提纲提出批评。但是我想到的历史意义就这些。刚刚又想到一个历史事件对于人的鼓舞作用。

不指导将道理怎么个讲法。曾经试过理证，但是非常累。而且觉得那样容易变成都是空话。所以，现在开始走例证的道路。难道是例证的手法不对？

seeseafastUID: 127774

好像有的题目比如容易理证。比如学习类，教育类。但是有的好像比较需要使用例证。比如历史类，政府类的。说历史的影响，就得拿几个人出来，说说，不然空对空很难说服人。政治一说到scandal好像就得Clinton, Nixon出来表现一下。不然，总有个空洞的感觉。可能这个平衡我还不能掌握吧。

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

不指导将道理怎么个讲法。曾经试过理证，但是非常累。而且觉得那样容易变成都是空话。所以，现在开始走例证的道路。难道是例证的手法不对？

个人认为说理更重要,例子是一个补充的作用

我的提纲是
1.历史和现在是继承的关系。了解过去有助于深刻了解现代事物
2.历史事件对现在有指导意义。要吸取历史教训
3.历史对一些事物关系的影响。比如国家间的关系

我认为第一和第二之间没有什么逻辑关系啊  "了解过去有助于深刻了解现代事物" 对于"历史事件对现在有指导意义" 不是很好的一个论证吗吗 为什么分属于不同的论点呢?  还有什么叫"历史和现在是继承的关系??" 为什么??

seeseafastUID: 127774

我的论点间的关系是
1,历史和现在是继承的关系,着重讨论的是关系问题.证明是存在这个关系的
2.因为有这个关系存在,所以.有指导性的意义.
前者是后者的前提,后者是前者的作用.就和有的人把一个论点正面说一下,再反面说一下.我先把论述的前提说了,证明了,然后再讨论.是一个递进的关系.
论点3和论点1也是这个关系.不知道这个逻辑你怎么看.
呵呵,谢谢的意见

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

我觉得这样是可以的 汗!总算明白你的意思了

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

In the second place, the things that ever had happened in the history always happened again in the later time.
提一点, 如果这是你body第二段的ts 请问它反映了你的提纲里面的意思吗?

seeseafastUID: 127774

写的时候是有点词不达意,
可能是这个缘故.
我看到题目开始写,脑子里是个模糊的印象.写着写着清晰起来了.到结尾的时候才完全明白要说什么.看来要留些时间修改文章的.
词不达意,是个大问题.要改.呵呵.谢谢.

dashuiniuUID: 142361

:p
120.So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.

Now, people face new and complex things such as new technology--machines, computers, and new thought. All what people see, currently, seems big different from those past things in various sides. So, some people argue that an understanding of the past would provide little guidance for living in the present. As far as I am concerned, I believe that an understanding of the past will contribute greatly to guide living in the present, because most of today things are the inherence the past and people can find the conference for today in the past【最后一句不懂】.

In the first place, most things today have inherence effect from the past中式表达, which combine the things. For example, in science field, the atomic theory, which is the basis theory of nuclear power and nuclear plant and so forth, has inherent? from the Einstein's equation--E=mc2. If someone cannot study the history of the thinking process of Einstein in the equation and consider relative material in history, he or she cannot completely understand the meaning and thought in the equation. Only know the expression--E=mc2【用英文表达吧，弄得方程式乖乖的】, cannot solve any problem. It is also real in art field. The development of art has a history inherent process. An artist, when he or she creates new expression forms or ideas, must originate the forms or ideas from learning and thing the old ones. Otherwise, the artist cannot know the value in his or her mind, and express the mind in correct ways. Such as Picasso, Beethoven, and Da Vince all created their achievement based on the understanding of the old art. As New Town ever said (and I paraphrase): "Why I can gain those great discoveries is the reason that I stand the should of the formers." It means that New Town contributed his achievements on the understanding of the formers' works and grasps the merits for building new one. In short, because of the inherence of things, people have to consider the history.【觉得有点怪写得，总觉得在打擦边球】

In the second place, the things that ever had happened in the history always happened again in the【删掉】 later time. What had changed in those things was only the locations and time【这两句话用一般时态吧，表达变换一下，不要这样】. For example, the World War I and the World War II have many comparing points. If the leaders can study and understand the history, it might help to cease the war in the further【不一定吧】. In addition, if the scientists could take care of the error【that】 happened in the history, they would can more【没谓语】 effective in their works. For instance, the misunderstanding of the religious had leaded to the faults【不动】 in many scientists in history. Current scientists learn to treat the physic things with objective attitude, which making a rapid process in the recently hundred years. Especially in business field, the success and loss has its features, the people who take time to learn and study the history events in business in history would know more for his or her success. In short, if people can know the history events for comparing with today events, they would more correctly and reasonably in decision and judgment【第一个topic sentence与后面论证似乎不紧密，前两句说历史重现；重现又没说好，后面又说领导人，科学家怎么样怎么样，有点乱；】.

In addition, one can benefit from the understanding of a widely【？】 history. For example, students learn art history, science history, business history, and so forth. Those knowledge would help the students know more rapidly and deeply of【know of这样的搭配好像表达了解某方面东西，而不是认识某方面的意思；并且为什么就有好处，也没说情出】 today things. And the understanding of the relationship of those things in history would give his or her conferences for today relationship among most things.

Further more, if students know little of history events, students would confuse many things today. For example, if the student in China did not learn the history between China and Japan, his or her【?】 could be not contained【这个词语怪啊】 by society. As the Prof. Lee, the head of History Department of my university, ever said: " History is the soul of one nation. If the people loss the remember【？】 of their nation history, the nation would be loss【？你把人家的意思可能都意译偏了】 for ever." It means that one nation must keep the people understanding the nation history for the nation feeling, which is essential for a nation.

To sum up, history cannot be neglected for any people in any field. History plays complex effects in daily life. Firstly, history is guidance for many researchers. Secondly, history plays a conference【这个意思不明百】 role for the decision. In addition, history gives a nation feeling to people.
【fuge,你写的不是特别顺畅啊，至少思路上，我感觉总在打擦边球。文章与其面面俱到，不如深刻分析几处】

dashuiniuUID: 142361

也给我自己加油！！！
呵呵