14 年秋季提纲互改小组-issue 74

chenboyuanUID: 3507674

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-31 10:25
I totally disagree with the author on claim that making important decisions today cannot benefit f ...

麻烦老师再批:lol
In the field of health care ,both doctors and patients rely on information from the past to make important decisions. Usually,doctor will read the history case documents about patient in the consultation.For example,If the patient had a head Bao before,doctor match the prescription for the patients that it will be avoid to use this kind of medicine.Similarly, people choose doctor always consider that the doctor’s performance.Such as the patient has been cured by this doctor who have good service and effective cure scheme,he/she would choose this doctor again depends on his/her past experience.On the contrary,people will not choose the doctor who didn’t help you that they will change other doctors to cure them.From the above example that we can see doctors and patients will consider the past things for reference to make important decisions.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

chenboyuan 发表于 2014-10-31 11:27
麻烦老师再批
In the field of health care ,both doctors and patients rely on information from  ...

你托福作文考过22分么？
感觉你的语法和表达问题挺大的
头孢怎么能写成 TouBao呢 额滴个神啊  

chenboyuanUID: 3507674

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-2 00:23
你托福作文考过22分么？
感觉你的语法和表达问题挺大的
头孢怎么能写成 TouBao呢 额滴个神啊

我没有考托福···，语法和表达确实有很大的问题···我这个头孢的单词是在爱词霸上面查的啊，我虽然觉得head bao这样的很怪，但是还是用了。

max940623UID: 3559548

老师求改...自我觉得这篇没有您之前说的我列提纲多而不精，而且主旨句主题句对应不好的毛病了。
但是始终感觉这三个论点中前两个经不起argue也很难说清楚，第三个有点发散但是有偏题的嫌疑。。。
KW: past, make decisions, today

V1
TS: Generally speaking, understanding about history could assists the mankind to compare the present and predict the future, therefore history always acts as an important reference for human to make decisions. Admittedly, in some fields the short history fails to enlighten us. But in most cases, history is long enough for normal people to grasp and utilize the universal rule behind. In fact, except decision-making, learning history could contribute more to the society.

ts1 反面的情况 历史过短
In certain fields like smartphone industry, the history could be useless or even harmful for the decision-making. 举例，诺基亚身为曾经的手机业霸主，基于对短暂历史的认知，放弃塞班系统后选择了错误的平台WP，输给苹果与安卓。
However, the similar situation occurs because the limited history in this field suggest the short-term experience instead of the universal rule behind. 因为历史不够长，一段时间内的随机性经验不构成普遍规律不能应用到任何时间，所以参照历史不具备价值

ts2 历史足够长
On the contrary, the short-term uncertainty mentioned above will be eliminated when a long history is assessable. In this sense, people could extract the theorem that could apply at any time from history. 举例，就用大家都喜欢的奥观海参考罗斯福新政救市吧，因为市场经济的参照历史长，能揭示凯恩斯主义这一正确且适用于任何年代的定理

ts3历史的其他作用
Besides decision making, history could also support the human to conduct self-orientation and transposition consideration. 历史除了揭示规律，还能让人学会自我定位和换位思考。

这题本来想写成ts1和ts2是论述参考历史对凡人做决定的作用（不能改变历史规律的统称凡人）
Ts3写那些颠覆历史的伟人也应该在决定前先参考之前的历史。举例贝多芬创建浪漫派其实也吸收了很多古典派的精华
但是操作难度有点大。。。不知道老师您觉得那种好一些

chenboyuanUID: 3507674

chenboyuan 发表于 2014-11-2 05:53
我没有考托福···，语法和表达确实有很大的问题···我这个头孢的单词是在爱词霸上面查的啊，我虽然觉 ...

恩！！

raikkonen36UID: 2871931

In the process of making important decisions, with the attitude of dogmatism towards the past, knowing the past always contributes to nothing. Nonetheless, the past can provide reference for people in the process. Moreover, learning from the past, people can even grasp the rules of things, which can be fairly useful for people to make important decisions.


1.        In the process of making important decisions, with the attitude of dogmatism towards the past, knowing the past always contributes to nothing. That is because social progress has brought a sea change in our living environment. Due to such change, if we completely apply historical experience to nowadays without any change, we always destine to failure. 举例：王明博古左倾路线 在第五次反围剿中体现了失败-教条主义。
2.        While the past environment may not be equally same with present environment, the past can provide reference for people in the process of making important decisions. That is because similarity always exits between the past and the present. Based on the similarity, the past can always provide reference for people to make important decisions.举例，2008年金融危机后，奥巴马政府的救市方案参考了罗斯福新政，新政的产生发生在1929年的大萧条后。
3.        Moreover, learning from the past, people can even grasp the rules of things, which can be fairly useful for people to make important decisions.  例如：人们从过去几十年的发展历程中，经济发展往往是以牺牲环境为代价的总结出了0和游戏的规律，这个规律现在广泛的适用于各个领域：  为了维持可持续发展，当政府面在经济发展和保护环境做决策时；一个企业面临在追求利益和社会责任时做决策时；个人面临在工作和家庭如何安排自己的时间时。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

raikkonen36 发表于 2014-11-3 12:08
In the process of making important decisions, with the attitude of dogmatism towards the past, knowi ...

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In the process of making important decisions, with the attitude of dogmatism towards the past, knowing the past always contributes to nothing. Nonetheless, the past can provide reference for people in the process. Moreover, learning from the past, people can even grasp the rules of things, which can be fairly useful for people to make important decisions.

你的几个分论点都可以成立  但是在措辞和形成整体的思路上还需要调整
你的第一点就是所谓的教条主义其实和第三点 可以从过去总结规律是紧密相关的
或许你可以先说第三点 我们可以从过去经历中总结有用的规律
然后再说 我们不能迷信或者墨守这些规则 避免教条主义

至于第二点 可能可以总结为我么可以从过去中找到一些处理问题的方法或者想法 感觉这一点放在最前面讲比较合适
所以你的主旨句可以改写为

Learning about the past can help us make deicisions when dealing with similar situations as we can borrow ideas or imitate practices from the successful experiences in the past. In addition, we can also develop some general rules or principles based on past events that may help us make decisions. Nevertheless, when using such rules, we should be flexible enough to avoid the pitfall of dogmaticism.




1.        In the process of making important decisions, with the attitude of dogmatism towards the past, knowing the past always contributes to nothing. That is because social progress has brought a sea change in our living environment. Due to such change, if we completely apply historical experience to nowadays without any change, we always destine to failure. 举例：王明博古左倾路线 在第五次反围剿中体现了失败-教条主义。

这个例子老美怎么懂


2.        While the past environment may not be equally same with present environment, the past can provide reference for people in the process of making important decisions. That is because similarity always exits between the past and the present. Based on the similarity, the past can always provide reference for people to make important decisions.举例，2008年金融危机后，奥巴马政府的救市方案参考了罗斯福新政，新政的产生发生在1929年的大萧条后。
3.        Moreover, learning from the past, people can even grasp the rules of things, which can be fairly useful for people to make important decisions.  例如：人们从过去几十年的发展历程中，经济发展往往是以牺牲环境为代价的总结出了0和游戏的规律，这个规律现在广泛的适用于各个 领域：  为了维持可持续发展，当政府面在经济发展和保护环境做决策时；一个企业面临在追求利益和社会责任时做决策时；个人面临在工作和家庭如何安排自己 的时间时。

raikkonen36UID: 2871931

教条主义我觉得就是照搬啊，没有任何总结，提炼，过去是怎么样现在完全照搬。例子的话或者郑人买履的故事，这个例子太少了。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

max940623 发表于 2014-11-2 23:44
老师求改...自我觉得这篇没有您之前说的我列提纲多而不精，而且主旨句主题句对应不好的毛病了。
但是始终感 ...

不好意思 回复较晚


74) Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.



老师求改...自我觉得这篇没有您之前说的我列提纲多而不精，而且主旨句主题句对应不好的毛病了。
但是始终感觉这三个论点中前两个经不起argue也很难说清楚，第三个有点发散但是有偏题的嫌疑。。。
KW: past, make decisions, today

V1
TS: Generally speaking, understanding about history could assists the mankind to compare the present and predict the future, therefore history always acts as an important reference for human to make decisions. Admittedly, in some fields the short history fails to enlighten us. But in most cases, history is long enough for normal people to grasp and utilize the universal rule behind. In fact, except decision-making, learning history could contribute more to the society.

你的前两个观点是将历史分作较长和较短两种情况 是不错的  
但是你的第三个分论点就离题了  


ts1 反面的情况 历史过短
In certain fields like smartphone industry, the history could be useless or even harmful for the decision-making. 举例，诺基亚身为曾经的手机业霸主，基于对短暂历史的认知，放弃塞班系统后选择了错误的平台WP，输给苹果与安卓。
However, the similar situation occurs because the limited history in this field suggest the short-term experience instead of the universal rule behind. 因为历史不够长，一段时间内的随机性经验不构成普遍规律不能应用到任何时间，所以参照历史不具备价值

从你的具体展开来看 我不太确定你的论述紧扣了题目
Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.
这里的past指的是什么  
诺基亚关于OS的决定是参考了哪个过去的事件？


ts2 历史足够长
On the contrary, the short-term uncertainty mentioned above will be eliminated when a long history is assessable. In this sense, people could extract the theorem that could apply at any time from history. 举例，就用大家都喜欢的奥观海参考罗斯福新政救市吧，因为市场经济的参照历史长，能揭示凯恩斯主义这一正确且适用于任何年代的定理

其实我在想这里的划分标准不应该是长短 而应该是有没有可比或可参照的事件




ts3历史的其他作用
Besides decision making, history could also support the human to conduct self-orientation and transposition consideration. 历史除了揭示规律，还能让人学会自我定位和换位思考。

这题本来想写成ts1和ts2是论述参考历史对凡人做决定的作用（不能改变历史规律的统称凡人）
Ts3写那些颠覆历史的伟人也应该在决定前先参考之前的历史。举例贝多芬创建浪漫派其实也吸收了很多古典派的精华
但是操作难度有点大。。。不知道老师您觉得那种好一些

gzc405933323UID: 3574833

今天的第三篇，这次提纲比较简短。希望王老师再多多提提意见！还有就是希望了解王老师您对conclusion的看法，我经常觉得自己在过去的习作中的conclusion没有做到对题目的升华，只是一个简单的总结。不知王老师有什么建议？


Thesis: Past information might not be conducive in facilitating the decision-making process because of the deficiency of historical facts or the unsatisfactory reliability of historical data. However, knowing about the history is not necessarily worthless for everyone in the process of forming decisions. For groups including employers and coaches, the information from the past in essential for them to form decisions.

1.        Past information might not be sufficient enough add value to the decision-making process. 例子：风险投资人（venture capitalists）投资的公司都是一些新成立的公司。 这些公司缺少营运，管理，销售和融资的信息，因此目标公司的历史信息根本不存在，因此不能再决策过程中发挥明显作用。

2.        Past information might generate bias in the decision formation process.例子与论证：假如一个赌徒过分相信筛子过去摇出来的点数，他会做出错误判断，因为该筛子各个点数在每一轮出现的概率是恒定的，是一个马尔科夫过程（Markov Process），与过去无关。如果过去出现许多六点而因此相信在下一轮六点出现的概率是大于1/6的话，赌徒将会误判结果的概率分布从而做出错误决策。

3.        However, for employers and coaches, the information from the past is considerably conducive to the current decision-making process. Employer需要阅览求职者的简历和犯罪记录等历史信息来觉得是否录取。教练需要了解球员过往的比赛风格和比赛数据来安排恰当的阵型策略，如篮球运动员在不同区域的投篮命中率，是突破次数多还是跳投次数多等。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

gzc405933323 发表于 2014-11-9 13:57
今天的第三篇，这次提纲比较简短。希望王老师再多多提提意见！还有就是希望了解王老师您对conclusion的看法 ...

关于conclusion 基本上用新的句子复述一下主要的观点和思路就可以了
所谓的升华 或许也可以考虑就具体的问题提出社会或政府可以做的事情吧 但这个也不是必须的
主要还是重新复述思路和观点

这个提纲等我明天WIP seminar以后再看
发给你的背景调查问卷  可否回答一下

chrishong119UID: 3412641

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-31 10:25
I totally disagree with the author on claim that making important decisions today cannot benefit f ...

   TS
    The speaker claims that it is of no use for people knowing about the past cause the world today is significantly more complex than it was before. It is true that knowing about the history can not help normal people to make important decisions today, but for elites of the society, this would matters significantly, even though the world today is not the one it was.
   
    ts1
    For normal people, get to know about the history can not help them to solve such pressing problems as good-paid jobs, an apartment, a car, medical assurance, soundable and affordable education for children, not to say to help them make important decisions, but to leave them a good time to devote into history and possibly cultivate one`s cultural spirit. 尽管人们掌握了更多的知识，似乎这很有助于人们更好的去做出重要的决定，但是，人们会发现，其实，别人也是和他们处于同一知识水平的，而且，随着现代化的继续，往往普通人并不需要做什么基于历史等的重大决定，更多的是要为一个体面的生活而奋斗。
    ts2
     It is true that the world is not the one it was before, the whole society is changing rapidly without a suspend. 我们今天所掌握的大多数知识都是过时的，比如说科学及历史，它们早已被新的科学及历史所覆盖了，甚至是被遗忘了。比如说，对于经典生物的掌握并不能让人们更轻易的做出有关基因学及免疫学的决定。甚至，最新的知识都有可能在几周甚至几天内过时。而随着社交媒体的出现，历史也逃脱不了这命运，现在的人们甚至可以知道目前这会儿在世界的各个地方发生了什么，他们所掌握的以往的事很快就会被新的历史及社会事件所覆盖。这个世界，确实是比以往更加复杂了。

    ts3
    While, for elites of the society, it will be so beneficial to know about the past, this could help them make important decisions more efficiently. 对于商业领导来说，对于过往的认知，可以让他们站得更高，从而更有效、精准的做出相关的决定。认知历史就是认识未来，谁弄清了历史谁就把握得住未来。这对于政治及外交也是一样的。在政治及外交中，对手可以是朋友，朋友也可能是潜在的对手，清楚了政治伙伴、政治小组、政党的过往，政治领导们就可以把握住全局，并在关键时刻做出有效的决定。尽管社会在不停的变化，但，有些事情是不会变的，尤其是有关人的本性的事。而对于政治及外交来说，熟知别人的历史非常关键，尤其是其本性，包括个人的、团体的甚至是整个民族的，所以，对于政治及外交，熟知历史非常重要。

JohnZZZUID: 3547934

老师的三段流很霸道啊，@chenboyuan写的感觉也不错。顶一个，原来是这样贴，我之前写的都保存在自己的Word里。。。先学一下1+3再来，加油

chrishong119UID: 3412641

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-9 21:40
关于conclusion 基本上用新的句子复述一下主要的观点和思路就可以了
所谓的升华 或许也可以考虑就具体的 ...

我写了个133的， 跟74有点近似了:lol



    TS
    The speaker claims that it is of no use for people knowing about the past cause the world today is significantly more complex than it was before. It is true that knowing about the history can not help normal people to make important decisions today, but for elites of the society, this would matters significantly, even though the world today is not the one it was.
   
    ts1
    For normal people, get to know about the history can not help them to solve such pressing problems as good-paid jobs, an apartment, a car, medical assurance, soundable and affordable education for children, not to say to help them make important decisions, but to leave them a good time to devote into history and possibly cultivate one`s cultural spirit. 尽管人们掌握了更多的知识，似乎这很有助于人们更好的去做出重要的决定，但是，人们会发现，其实，别人也是和他们处于同一知识水平的，而且，随着现代化的继续，往往普通人并不需要做什么基于历史等的重大决定，更多的是要为一个体面的生活而奋斗。
    ts2
     It is true that the world is not the one it was before, the whole society is changing rapidly without a suspend. 我们今天所掌握的大多数知识都是过时的，比如说科学及历史，它们早已被新的科学及历史所覆盖了，甚至是被遗忘了。比如说，对于经典生物的掌握并不能让人们更轻易的做出有关基因学及免疫学的决定。甚至，最新的知识都有可能在几周甚至几天内过时。而随着社交媒体的出现，历史也逃脱不了这命运，现在的人们甚至可以知道目前这会儿在世界的各个地方发生了什么，他们所掌握的以往的事很快就会被新的历史及社会事件所覆盖。这个世界，确实是比以往更加复杂了。

    ts3
    While, for elites of the society, it will be so beneficial to know about the past, this could help them make important decisions more efficiently. 对于商业领导来说，对于过往的认知，可以让他们站得更高，从而更有效、精准的做出相关的决定。认知历史就是认识未来，谁弄清了历史谁就把握得住未来。这对于政治及外交也是一样的。在政治及外交中，对手可以是朋友，朋友也可能是潜在的对手，清楚了政治伙伴、政治小组、政党的过往，政治领导们就可以把握住全局，并在关键时刻做出有效的决定。尽管社会在不停的变化，但，有些事情是不会变的，尤其是有关人的本性的事。而对于政治及外交来说，熟知别人的历史非常关键，尤其是其本性，包括个人的、团体的甚至是整个民族的，所以，对于政治及外交，熟知历史非常重要。