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[我与雅思] 回馈寄托,定期帮大家改一篇作文 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2016-1-31 21:28:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
闲来无事,逛逛寄托,非常怀念当时出国备考的时光。寄托给了我很多回忆,没有寄托上大家宝贵的经验,我不可能拿到雅思高分,也不可能全奖拿到加拿大麦吉尔大学的研究生offer。看到大家那么努力,似乎想起了我当年为出国梦想奋斗的日子。在国外呆了三年多,英语水平还是有长进的,能够回馈寄托的也就是给大家定期改改雅思或者托福的作文了。GRE作文太烧脑,hold不住。

大家不嫌弃的话,可以上传一些作文,我尽力帮大家改一下。每天抽取一篇修改。上传word或者贴文字都可以。
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沙发
发表于 2016-2-1 10:07:55 |只看该作者
竟然米有人理楼主。。。。。:L

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板凳
发表于 2016-2-1 12:23:24 |只看该作者
woooooo!!
marvelous!
I will upload one of my compositions soon.
thx~~


PS, now the bbs of IELTS in gter is actually not so active like old days. I'm upset about it too.

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地板
发表于 2016-2-1 20:22:55 |只看该作者
楼主我来了,第一次写雅思作文,先谢谢修改了

Task 1
信件类别
求职信

You saw an advertisement about a project which will help protect the environment. Write a letter to the organizer. Tell him/her why you are interested, what you can do to help them, and when you can help.

Hi HR team,

I am very interested when I found an advertisement about your project. I have always been looking for a chance to get involved in such a project to help protect the environment. Hope you can consider me as one of the candidate for this position.

During college time, I have been actively participated in volunteer projects for four years. Teamed up with lots of volunteers who share the same concerns for our environment, we worked to improve people's awareness of global warming, protection of rainforest, and reduction of carbon dioxide. In all these activies, I was responbible to find target place and audience for environment related lectures and activities. I also had experience in designing posts and advertisement of activities. I am very sure that my past experience and willingness to contribute will make me a perfect fit for this position.

Currently I'm in school vacation and able to join this project within 1 week time. Please feel free to contact me if you want to understand more from me. Look forward to your reply.

Best Regards,
Tom Jerry.


Task 2
考试题目
Public celebrations will cost a lot of money. Some people think governments should spend money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

I agree with the statement that governments should spend money on other useful things, since there are so many critical areas that the governments need to focus on.

The most critical area to improve, from my point of view, is to ensure each and every child has education opportunity. There are lots of children that reach the age for school but couldn't afford. This is one of the things that government can help by providing education allowance for low income families. On the other hand, in some rural areas especially remote villages, many people are not aware of the importance of education. As a result, lots of students there quit school at very young age and look for job instead. If they could spend more time on school, they would start to have better estimation of their strengths and weakness, which can help them place themselves at more suitable industries. To improve their awareness of education, government need to fund the schools and come up with more effective solutions for this .

Another important field to focus welfare for senior citizens. There are lots of elder people taking up part time jobs in restaurants, train stations and shopping malls. Most of these people are forced to work because they cannot afford living cost in cities. After retirement, they can only rely on their savings and welfare from government. Forty years ago when these citizens were still young, our public welfare system is not so robust. Because of this even though they had worked really hard for so many years, they still could not afford living cost after they spent their savings. I believe it is our government's duty to provide necessary assistance for these people.

I think there are still more other areas for governments to spend money on, rather than spend money on public celebrations. After all, the most important responsibility of a government is to make sure its citizens are having good education opportunities and enjoying their life after retirement.

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发表于 2016-2-16 12:54:27 来自手机 |只看该作者
Competitiveness is seen as a positive quality for people to have in many societies today.
How does this competitiveness affect individuals?
Is it a positive or negative quality?

It is true that competitiveness is beneficial for people to survive and succeed in societies today.This competitiveness influences individuals in many ways,and I believe it is definitely a positive quality.

The competitiveness encourages people in many ways in terms of study,work and life.Firstly,individuals who are competitive own an attitude of enthusiasm regardless of their status like pupils,housewives,business men and officers.Secondly,competitiveness makes you have rivals all the time which would contribute to one's self-control and hard work which are essential qualities along the way of life.Take myself as an example,when I was at primary and secondary schools,I competed with my partner every quiz or exam which benefited both of us in the college entrance examination.Finally,mental incentives,which can encourage people to improve themselves,also play a significant role as one of the ways of competitiveness affecting individuals .

In my view,competitiveness is certainly a positive quality.It can give one who is competitive a sense of complication which is useful in one's constant progress.Also,only if a majority of people have competitiveness,can they step forward to make contributions to their families,careers and societies.At the same time,many fields of the country like economy,politics,technology and science can get advanced step by step thanks to the competitive public who have passion in all things.

In conclusion,competitiveness affects individuals in attitudes,incentives and goals,and I insist that it is a positive quality.

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发表于 2016-2-16 12:54:41 来自手机 |只看该作者
谢谢楼主!

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RE: 回馈寄托,定期帮大家改一篇作文 [修改]

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回馈寄托,定期帮大家改一篇作文
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