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[主题活动] 8月、9月GRE同主题写作(附视频教程与点评) [复制链接]

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美国offer勋章 建筑offer勋章

发表于 2017-8-29 07:02:30 |显示全部楼层

Argument找逻辑谬误的顺序问题,一般需按照原文顺序吗?

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2017-8-30 07:21 编辑

1. 篇章结构问题

2. 在Argument写作中,如果原文出现了3个claims,在没有特别的先后顺序的情况下,需要按照顺序去攻击吗?如果第三点我个人可以说得非常多,是否可以作为重点放在第一段?还是仍需按照原文的顺序来写?

3.
举例:
argument 4.The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams
Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25,
many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high
as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's
$144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home
with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I
listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home
quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument.
Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are
for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

其中第3点我可以挑出更多可能的谬误:
The author assumed that following factors remained unchanged during the past ten years: the economy, the supply and demand of the market, the locations of the mentioned two households.
我可以找出这么多,但前两条就写不了很多。

这种情况下,是否可以把我认为是重点的错误放在第一段?这篇我看老师也是按照顺序行文的,但是三段还是能保持长度一致。我的话觉得比较难,有可能个别段落非常能写另外的就比较空洞了。

回复


Argument中间段的写作是有套路的。首先写主题句,按照题目指引概括全段内容。然后用PIE模型,先指出需要的证据(或问题或假设或解释),再讨论其他可能性,最后指出其他可能对论证的影响。至于各段内容的顺序,还是应该尽量按照原作者的思路来写。有时候攻击点比较多的时候,需要将不同的点按照主题和角度组合到一个中间段里,这需要费一些心思。各段的篇幅应该大致保持一样。不过这只是理想的状况,实际操作中,如果写不出三个饱满的中间段,写两个也可以。
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美国offer勋章 建筑offer勋章

发表于 2017-8-29 07:11:40 |显示全部楼层

issue中对题目的回应需达到什么程度?

1. 内容构思

2. 在issue中如果出现了claim和reason这两部分,对reason是需要每个ts都回应关键字吗?

3.
Issue49:
Claim: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from those whose views contradict our own.
Reason: Disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

TS:
I strongly agree that it is much harder for us to learn from people with contradictory views than those who share similar ideas.

ts1: It is almost impossible for people to reach a consensus whey they share different belief systems. Generally, one's belief system, such as a religious one, is a set of transcendental moral orders, which cannot be proved or disproved by mere facts.

ts2: Hardly can we learn from people with different value systems. Although in this case, an open debate is possible, we can hardly agree with ones who stand a different ground.

ts3: It's also hard for us to learn from people with different way of thinking.

reason中提到了不同意见的人难以互相学习是因为会导致紧张情绪。我同意这个观点,那么是否我必须每段都同意这个reason?本来我可以从多角度来论证不同意见的人无法互相学习,有的是思维模式不同,有的是知识结构不同,并非都是因为stress才导致无法学习。我可否在作者的reason之外再提出自己的理由呢?

如果写不同意作者的观点,那么似乎限制少了一些。可以批驳这个reason的不合理性,也可以说尽管reason合理,但其论证过程不合理。

总之,同样的claim,加了这个reason感觉思路严重被限制了。

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美国offer勋章 建筑offer勋章

发表于 2017-8-29 09:10:11 |显示全部楼层

Argument中需要指出evidence“强化”论点的情况吗?

1. 内容构思

2. 我们经常看到题目指引是这样的:Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
但是,大多数情况我们都是在写一个证据、假设是如何削弱一个论点,很少指出什么样的证据会“加强”论点的

在老师的文章中,有时候会用让步的形式来指出“加强”的情况,如:
It may be safe to assume that litter and vandalism compromise the shopping experiences
at Central Plaza and partially lead to the reduction of business. But we need more
evidence about...


所以,我们是只要指出如何削弱一个论点就可以了的,还是在指引中出现how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument时,要写出加强了的情况?

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训练营勇士

发表于 2017-9-2 17:05:06 |显示全部楼层
tesolchina 发表于 2017-8-7 14:11
Lecture 1 Resources and tips for GRE writing tests  (Lecture 1视频链接,如无法播放请按此跳转)

王老师,你好,
GRE视频写作教程中的第2-6个视频如【第2讲 1+3模型的应用(argument)】已经不能回复可见了。看到“有需要视频教程的同学请前往这里”来的,不过本页上的视频似乎没那么全?

想问下哪里可以看到另外几个视频呀?

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发表于 2017-9-6 17:48:17 |显示全部楼层
我的同义转换:

转换第一次:The vice president recommends choosing Buzzoff for their pest control instead of Fly-Away in order to save money with the belief that the latter would cause more pest damage than Buzzoff.

转换第二次:The vice president recommends the company choosing Buzzoff in stead of Fly-away for pest control, and compares the loss of pest damage in the warehouses of both companies with the belief that Fly-away would cost more money even though its lower price.

(答案一)In the memo, it is argued that Buzzoff should be selected over Fly-away as the pest control service provider to reduce pest damage.

(答案二)The vice president contends that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control instead of Fly-away.  To support his choice, he compares the values of food loss in the warehouses served by the two companies and believes Buzzoff could help save money despite its higher price.  

(答案三) According to the vice president, Buzzoff should be hired to control the pest because the company lost less food in terms of money value in a warehouse served by Buzzoff than a warehosue managed by Fly-away. Even though the services provided by Fly-away is cheaper, the vice president insists that Buzzway can help the company save more money.  

自评:跟简洁版比较我觉得我同意转换的还可以,王老师的“… recommend … ing…in order to….with the belief that…..” 帮了大忙 :)跟全面版比差了些。有想到原文说A比B多,那我就说B比A少好了这一点。对于连接词汇还是知道的太少了。

114) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.( 78 114 116 117)

Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years in Palm City, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

提纲

Claim: our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Data:The loss at Buzzoff’s site is less than the loss at the site of Fly-away.
Warrant: The ability for B to control pests is much better than F.

Question: What is the percentage for warehouse served by each pest-control company? 我只想到这一点,作为一段太单薄了就参考了老师的
Is pest-control by Buzzoff more effective than pest-control by Fly-away?            
e.g. percentage/different kinds of pest in different area/different weather
       

Claim: our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Data:The loss at Buzzoff’s site last month is less than the loss at the site of Fly-away last month.
Warrant: The ability for B to control pests is much better than F.

Question: Is it adequate to compare the amount of loss just in one month?

Claim: our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Data:The loss at Buzzoff’s site last month is less than the loss at the site of Fly-away last month.
Warrant: B can handle all of the work for this company’s pest control services.

Question: Is B available to handle all of service area this company has? E.g. staff/timing/ability/license….


全文:The vice president recommends the company Choosing Buzzoff in stead of Fly-away for all of their pest control in order to save money and have good control effect, with the belief that the latter would cause more loss than Buzzoff. While the conclusion is what the company wished for, there are a number of questions about the effectiveness of pest control, the usefulness of the data from last month, and the ability for Buzzoff to handle all the business of the company.

To begin with, we should ask is pest-control more effective served by Buzzoff than that by Fly-Away? Even though the vice president mentions that the loss from last month served by Buzzoff is lass than Fly-Away, we are not sure if the way Buzzoff using to control pest is more effective. Chances are the pest are different in different area. In Fly-Away’s site, the pest is hard to control than the pest in Buzzoff’s site. Also, it is possible that the weather in Buzzoff’s site easy for them to do pest control. Moreover, we should ask what is the percentage for the loss caused by pest control. If the percentage of Buzzoff’s site’s loss is way more than Fly-away’s, why the company should choose Buzzoff?

In addition, another question needed to be answered that is it adequate to using the data for loss just collecting in one month? Even if the percentage can prove Buzzoff’s work is more effective last month, we don’t know what will be in one year or even longer. What if the loss per year served by Buzzoff is more than that served by Fly-away? It is not doubt that this company had better not choose Buzzoff just by one-month data.

The final question to ask if the ability are good enough for Buzzoff to handle all of service area from this company. Even if Buzzoff can do very well in Palm City, it can’t prove that they can handle all the services from this company. Do they have enough staff with excellent skills to control different kinds of pest? Do they license in different area to do pest control? It is possible that Buzzoff don’t have enough staff with license but Fly-Away has. At this point,  it is not necessary for this vice president to choose Buzzoff.

In conclusion, a lot of questions needed to be ask if the vice president want to make a good decision。

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香港offer勋章

发表于 2018-11-11 21:37:23 |显示全部楼层
深井冰233 发表于 2017-8-14 09:07
问题类型:篇章结构
问题:如何控制例证的长度/深度?

值得学习

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发表于 2019-1-7 11:47:47 |显示全部楼层
感谢分享,顶!

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发表于 2019-1-9 15:32:01 |显示全部楼层
顶!

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发表于 2019-1-9 15:32:24 |显示全部楼层

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发表于 2019-1-12 15:39:08 |显示全部楼层
有用

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发表于 2019-1-12 15:39:27 |显示全部楼层

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发表于 2019-1-12 15:39:40 |显示全部楼层

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发表于 2019-5-17 00:02:14 |显示全部楼层
老师您好,我刚刚看到这个贴子,只有issue三个视频的链接可见,已经学习完了,请问argument视频在哪呀?可以重新发一下链接吗

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发表于 2019-6-10 08:15:25 |显示全部楼层
太有用了8⃣️。请问老师现在还有这样的同写活动嘛?

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FALL祈福章 加拿大offer勋章

发表于 2021-3-28 07:04:44 |显示全部楼层
谢谢分享。

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RE: 8月、9月GRE同主题写作(附视频教程与点评) [修改]
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