1T作文互改互评

fishergirlUID: 152325

我也来贴一篇吧:)

Topic: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Is progress always good? It is improper to answer “yes” or “no” simply. Progress mainly is good and leads a better life for people, but it also has some disadvantages as well as its advantages.  In my point of view, progress, as a two-edged sword, is not always benefit for human beings and nature.

On the one hand, many progress changed people’s life greatly and help us human beings live more happily and conveniently. There are countless great inventions that improve people’s life---- telephone and e-mail helps people who are in different places to communicate frequently, automobiles and other vehicles diminish the time used on traveling and make journey more safe and happy, the invention of antibiotics saves millions of people’s life. Without the progress of science and technology, people will still live in an unenlightened society.

On the other hand, progress also does harm to people’s life in some aspects. One of the most severe problems is the pollution of environment. For example, with the development of modern industry, more and more industrial wastes are produced and let out, of which some may destroy people’s health and lead kinds of diseases. Some scarce animals also die out or facing with the danger of extinction. So progress sometimes is harmful to human and earth.

In addition, more progress also means more usage of nature sources, which may result in the exhaustion of some irreproducible sources such as timber, coal, petroleum and so on. This is a problem that has been discussed and worried by scientists for many years, whereas if only the advancement of some fields needs them, such sources will be used all along.

Hence, I have to say that although progress really does great contributions in people’s advancement, it is also destroying the only earth we are living on. People must realize the potential danger when enjoying the happiness brought by such progress.

yadcxUID: 93144

最初由 fishergirl 发布
[B]我也来贴一篇吧:)

Topic: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Is progress alway..

以下省略...... [/B]

这个题目你这样子写是可以的，always如果同意就写好的，如果不同意可以写不好也可以写有时好，有时不好。但是不是所有题目都可以写成这种折中的类型的，需要注意。

yadcxUID: 93144

最初由 dyl99 发布
[B]偶耶找篇题目来写，请大家指教
How do movies and television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Movies and..

以下省略...... [/B]

基本论证过程没有问题，但是开头单薄。

fishergirlUID: 152325

谢谢yadcx:)

有不少题目都是这种二选一或者同不同意，里面很多都是那种任何一方都有一定道理的。如果一边倒会不会让人觉得很片面？GRE作文里面好像很强调逻辑的严密，托福是否也有这种要求，还是只要能够找到三个理由，无论什么样的观点都可以？

LeedyanUID: 187981

:) 新来新猪肉啊～～大家好啊！
希望能在这里跟大家一起作战！多多指教哦 ;)
topic:Some student prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

While some students prefer to study alone, I , together with others, prefer to study with a group of students. My specific reasons for this inclination as follow.
When I was a child, in the age of stepping on learning , my parents were so busy that they didn’t have time to teach me Tang poetry, even 1,2,3, and A,B,C，as many other parents did. The first Chinese character and first English letter I known was learned from my teacher in primary school together with other children. From that time on, I study in the atmosphere of a group due to the education system of China. Children study in different classes of the same grade. And each class have the fixed students. We learn math, English, Chinese and so on together in class. After class, we do homework in a group of three or five children, discussing with each other and learning with each other. In university as I am now, which students have more free time and do not have to study
Together all the time as we did in primary school and middle high school, I prefer communicate with my classmates or friends in my academic study, which we together can think out a method to solve the problem that only one can not crack through discussing, sharing opinions of each own, and even cooperating with devided work. In this way of study, I am stimulated by the learning circumstance of others. I am encouraged and urge to learn more and better, thinking that I will communicate with others. And I always gain good marks in my study.
Growing up in the learning atmosphere of group, hardly can I imagine how could studying alone during my age of learning be, although, I admit that we should learn to be independent and think solely. Studying alone, to me, is difficult for it is boring ,dull, and most important, I can not communicate with others whih can improve my own learning by knowing how others learn ,how they think, how I learn , what my superiority and inferiority to them are, and how I can make progress in my study. Especially in this time of fast technological and informational development, knowledge explodes. Only one person alone is not able to learn so much knowledge. Only through communicating with other can one learn what needed and make good use of it.
Comparing the flaws and merits of both studying alone and studying together with a group of students above, I prefer to study with a group of students.


thank you!

iloveeruo0720UID: 186167

最初由 Leedyan 发布
[B]:) 新来新猪肉啊～～大家好啊！
希望能在这里跟大家一起作战！多多指教哦 ;)
topic:Some student prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of stud..

以下省略...... [/B]

第一次给别人改作文，还是称提意见吧。感觉第二段叙事性太强，口语的味道有点重。其次，行文有点直白，什么in class we.....in university we.....。而且有个别语法错误，比如，应是in which students have......
就说这么多。大家互相帮助！ :D

dallowayUID: 156640

最初由 fishergirl 发布
[B]谢谢yadcx:)

有不少题目都是这种二选一或者同不同意，里面很多都是那种任何一方都有一定道理的。如果一边倒会不会让人觉得很片面？GRE作文里面好像很强调逻辑的严密，托..

以下省略...... [/B]

to fisher mm， YA可是大牛啊 :p

LeedyanUID: 187981

最初由 iloveeruo0720 发布
[B][QUOTE]最初由 Leedyan 发布
[B]:) 新来新猪肉啊～～大家好啊！
希望能在这里跟大家一起作战！多多指教哦 ;)
topic:Some student prefer to study alone. Other..

以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢你的宝贵意见！
这正是我的作文给人的感觉吧。我写完后很郁闷，受GRE阅读训练的影响，我写的句子又长又复杂，感觉很累赘。我写完后再对照胡敏的高分作文，真有眼前一亮的感觉，简洁清晰，有条理，逻辑性强。口语化或者是受T听力的影响！至于语法错误，自然是粗心造成的！
请教下托福作文是不是不要写太多叙事性的语言？

imongUID: 140258

汗
G作文现在都不怎么改了呢 忙些别的事情...

以后也还是改改吧 要不然整个坛子负担重呢

naiba369UID: 131655

干脆开哥TWE板块吧

这样大家也好学习

fishergirlUID: 152325

最初由 dalloway 发布
[B]to fisher mm， YA可是大牛啊 [/B]

呵呵，那我更要多问问啦 :D

突然感觉不会写TOEFL的作文了 :(  :o

DiabloManUID: 187172

谢斑竹!正在努力中！！

iloveeruo0720UID: 186167

最初由 Leedyan 发布
[B]:) 新来新猪肉啊～～大家好啊！
希望能在这里跟大家一起作战！多多指教哦 ;)
top..

以下省略...... [/B]

个人感觉不要太多叙事，毕竟twe写的是论述性文章。我也看到过高分作文那书上有些范文有叙事，但都是很简略的。

JANETZZFUID: 175685

偶今年11月份刚考的TOEFL，作文在考前一篇都没写，考试的时候那叫一个慌啊！！！！心脏都快跳出来了，原因是就为了在还没开始考时之前看看作文题目。结果还被监考提醒了。劝各位T友一定要在考前做好所有准备，要不考场上你一定会后悔的！！！

LeedyanUID: 187981

最初由 naiba369 发布
[B]干脆开哥TWE板块吧

这样大家也好学习 [/B]

举二十个指头赞成啊！！！ :D