issue161, bricks!Thank you!

zhl_halleyUID: 140173

161. In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to the media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.  

I generally agree with the speaker's fundamental assertion that in today's intensive media scrutiny, public figures are no longer considered as perfect idol. Yet, the speaker cynically and irrationally extends too far in claiming that the reputation of anyone under the media scrutiny will eventually be diminished, which totally ignored the positive role of media in appreciating heroes and partially downplay the critical thinking ability of the masses.

Admittedly, a hero is, rather than does in the past time; while under today’s intensive media coverage, hardly heroes can escape from the media scrutiny and thus exposed some character flaws or misdeeds. The chief reason for this phenomenon is that everyone, however heroic or otherwise, is not perfect. They have their foibles and shortcomings, and sometimes could make mistakes for fleeting insanity or carelessness. And, the media, composed of profit seeking entities whose chief objective is to maximize the profits for their shareholders or other owners, are too ready to hound these character flaws and misdeeds. One needs look no further than the newsstands, TV news broadcast and talk shows, which are replete with these anecdotal stories concerning the public figures, especially those would-be heroes. Those are means by which the media companies manage to attract the viewers and thus maximize profits.

Why do the public media gaining their profits through publishing or displaying the heroes' foibles or misdeeds? And why would the public viewer prefer these anecdotes instead of their virtues or accomplishments. Therein lies my second reason for my opinion. In our collective mind, we ordinary people are inferior compared with those public heroes; therefore we expect them some sort of misfortunes and misdeeds as we do. The cynic ones even favor to watch their being knocked off the sacred pedestal in order to reach the so-called psychological balance. For that matter, the media know this all too well and just cater and exploit our psychological needs at every opportunity, thus attract more readers, listeners or viewers and earn money.

Yet, the speaker’s assertion predicated on the assumption that the media always provide the biased facts and perspectives upon the imperfect heroes. Media, however, offer us the positive information of the heroic public figures as well. If reputation is defined as a place in public esteem or regard, which is fundamentally judged by people themselves, then given the information provided by the media, the masses can critically appreciate the public figure. And, if some misdeeds would be considered as peccadilloes, and some unique characters could be classified into personalities, then the reputation in public mind is not necessarily diminished. In all probability, we would feel relieved and satisfactory to discover these flaws similar as ours. In my personal experience, I have red about the review on the character of Jack Welch, in which accounts his bad-temper. I was so excited that a flaw of bad-temper, if other virtues are complemented, does not prevent a man to become an effective corporation executive. Similarly, although the media revealed the embezzlement of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife, but it does not untarnished the very hero in the struggle against the apartheid.

To sum up, all people, including heroes more or less have some flaws and the media are too ready to expose the heroes’ foibles and misdeeds in order to cater the public psychological needs. Yet, with the advance in the level of higher education along with the boost of collective quality, vast majority of people have their own critical-thinking skills and objectivity to render a fair and fully informed judgment about a public figure based on the information provided by the media.
唉, 写完后改了n个小时, 参考了rain&rainbow和老外范文, 本来想写一段关于媒体审查制度使得媒体并不能作为对hero评价的yardstick, 比如国内很多深刻热reflect 现实的好片都被禁了, say, <Beijing Bicycle> , 但不成熟, 大家有没有什么好建议.

ryanqUID: 154025

up，先占一下

will_foreverUID: 193568

161. In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to the media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.

I generally agree with the speaker's fundamental assertion that in today's intensive media scrutiny, public figures are no longer considered as perfect idol.[Generally, owing to today’s intensive media scrutiny, I agree with the speaker’s fundamental assertion that public fingers are no longer considered as perfect idol] Yet, the speaker cynically and irrationally extends too far in claiming that the reputation of anyone under the media scrutiny will eventually be diminished, which totally ignored [ignores]the positive role of media in appreciating heroes and partially downplay the critical thinking ability of the masses.

Admittedly, a hero is, rather than does in the past time; while under today’s intensive media coverage, hardly heroes can escape from the media scrutiny and thus exposed[expose] some character flaws or misdeeds.[improper words and deeds你想表达的是罪行吗？我觉得用不恰当的言行比较好。]（这一句的主语a hero，谓语is，宾语？？） The chief reason for this phenomenon is that everyone, however[even] heroic or otherwise〔一直觉得不妥，但不知怎么修改比较好〕, is not perfect. They have their foibles and shortcomings, and sometimes could make mistakes for fleeting insanity or carelessness. And, the media, composed of profit seeking entities whose chief objective is to maximize the profits for their shareholders or other owners, are too〔不要〕 ready to hound these character flaws and misdeeds〔同上〕. One needs look no further than the newsstands, TV news broadcast and talk shows, which are replete with these anecdotal stories concerning the public figures, especially those would-be heroes. Those are means （？？）by which the media companies manage to attract the viewers and thus maximize profits.

Why do the public media gaining[gain] their profits through publishing or displaying the heroes' foibles or misdeeds? And[不要] why would the public viewer [viwers]prefer these anecdotes instead of their virtues or accomplishments. Therein lies my second reason for my opinion(这一句觉得不错). In our collective mind, we ordinary people are inferior compared with those public heroes; therefore we expect them some sort of misfortunes and misdeeds as we do. The cynic ones even favor to watch their being knocked off the sacred pedestal in order to reach the so-called psychological balance. For that matter, the media know this all too well 〔very well〕and just cater and exploit our psychological needs at every opportunity, thus attract more readers, listeners or viewers and earn money.

Yet, the speaker’s assertion predicated on the assumption that the media always provide the biased facts and perspectives upon the imperfect heroes. Media, however, offer us the positive information of the heroic public figures as well. If reputation is defined as a place in public esteem or regard[??], which is fundamentally judged by people themselves, then given the information provided by the media, the masses can critically appreciate the public figure[figures]. And, if some misdeeds would[could] be considered as peccadilloes, and some unique characters could be classified into personalities, then the reputation in public mind is not necessarily[impossibly] diminished. In all probability, we would feel relieved and satisfactory to discover these flaws similar as ours. In my personal experience, I have red about the review on the character of Jack Welch, in which accounts his bad-temper. I was so excited that a flaw of bad-temper, if other virtues are complemented, does not prevent a man to become an effective corporation executive[不明白]. Similarly, although the media revealed the embezzlement of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife, but it does not untarnished the very hero in the struggle against the apartheid.〔although,but 不能同用〕

To sum up, all people, including heroes more or less have some flaws and the media are too ready to expose the heroes’ foibles and misdeeds in order to cater the public psychological needs. Yet, with the advance in the level of higher education along with the boost[push] of collective quality, vast majority of people have their own critical-thinking skills and objectivity to render a fair and fully informed judgment about a public figure based on the information provided by the media.
你的看法是eclectic 吧，我觉得有点乱，能列出你的outline吗？
呵呵，不过能写这么多，真是佩服呀，我也是新手，该的不当之处，多多见谅阿！

will_foreverUID: 193568

to zhl_halley：把我改的paste到word上看吧，在这上面有些改的地方好像不是很好找

zhl_halleyUID: 140173

谢谢will_forever, 你是第一个帮我批的人

zqimagineUID: 193623

I generally agree with the speaker's fundamental assertion that in today's intensive media scrutiny, public figures are no longer considered as perfect idol. Yet, the speaker cynically and irrationally extends too far in claiming that the reputation of anyone under the media scrutiny will eventually be diminished, which totally ignored the positive role of media in appreciating heroes and partially downplay the critical thinking ability of the masses.

Admittedly, [U]a hero is, rather than does in the past time(这句话没读懂); [/U]  while under today’s intensive media coverage, hardly [U]heroes can(can heroes)[/U]  escape from the media scrutiny and thus exposed some character flaws or misdeeds. The chief reason for this phenomenon is that everyone, however heroic or otherwise, is not perfect. They have their foibles and shortcomings, and sometimes could make mistakes for fleeting insanity or carelessness. And, the media, composed of profit seeking entities whose chief objective is to maximize the profits for their shareholders or other owners, are too ready to hound these character flaws and misdeeds. One needs look no further than the newsstands, TV news broadcast and talk shows, which are replete with these anecdotal stories concerning the public figures, especially those would-be heroes. Those are means by which the media companies manage to attract the viewers and thus maximize profits.

Why do the public media [U]gaining(gain) [/U]   their profits through publishing or displaying the heroes' foibles or misdeeds? And why would the public viewer prefer these anecdotes instead of their virtues or accomplishments. Therein lies my second reason for my opinion. In our collective mind, we ordinary people are inferior compared with those public heroes; therefore we expect them some sort of misfortunes and misdeeds as we do. The cynic ones even favor to watch [U]their(them)[/U]  being knocked off the sacred pedestal in order to reach the so-called psychological balance. For that matter, the media know this all too well and just cater and exploit our psychological needs at every opportunity, thus attract more readers, listeners or viewers and earn money.

Yet, the speaker’s assertion predicated on the assumption that the media always provide the biased facts and perspectives upon the imperfect heroes. Media, however, offer us the positive information of the heroic public figures as well. If reputation is defined as a place in public esteem or regard, which is fundamentally judged by people themselves, then given the information provided by the media, the masses can critically appreciate the public figure. And, if some misdeeds would be considered as peccadilloes, and some unique characters could be classified into personalities, then the reputation in public mind is not necessarily diminished. In all probability, we would feel relieved and satisfactory to discover these flaws similar as ours. In my personal experience, I have [U]red(read)[/U]  about the review on the character of Jack Welch, in which accounts his bad-temper. I was so excited that a flaw of bad-temper, if other virtues are complemented, does not prevent a man to become an effective corporation executive. Similarly, although the media revealed the embezzlement of Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife, but it does not[U] untarnished(untanish)[/U]  the very hero in the struggle against the apartheid.

To sum up, all people, including heroes more or less have some flaws and the media are too ready to expose the heroes’ foibles and misdeeds in order to cater the public psychological needs. Yet, with the advance in the level of higher education along with the boost of collective quality, vast majority of people have their own critical-thinking skills and objectivity to render a fair and fully informed judgment about a public figure based on the information provided by the media.
我觉得文章很好,特别是用词和短语,太佩服了,敬礼!
希望你有空也指点一下我的文章^_^

will_foreverUID: 193568

呵呵，不客气，不客气，大家一起进步嘛