issue207 就快烤了，急需大家帮忙看看！

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

Issue207 请砸！！ :o
------摘要------
这篇写了N久，对思路的把握不是很明确，重复写了三遍。最后思路定位在rituals and ceremonies can convey some meaning to cultures, but they are not the only factors to distinguish groups of people and societies. Body3提了下rituals and ceremonies的other function.
------题目------
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.
------正文------
Rituals and ceremonies are regarded as the symbols of a kind of culture and custom. However, do they have requisite relationship with the definition of a society or a group of people? The author assets they have, which I take leave to doubt and in my opinion, people can distinguish themselves without rituals and ceremonies, moreover, the functions of them are not limited in defining a culture.

As a threshold matter, what is the sense of who we are? Although there is no definite concept about it, it must be related with the groups which we belong to, the living habits, the same race and so forth. People can distinguish themselves through a certain kind of rituals and habits in some occasions. It is acknowledged that rituals and ceremonies can convey the great meaning of some definite cultures, such as the festivals are different in countries. Chinese are used to celebrate spring festival and in western countries, people hold distinguished ceremonies to welcome Christmas Day, in addition, Chinese people regard Dragon boat festival as an important day to hold family party together, while the American and Canadian view that Thanksgiving day is irreplaceable due to it is an opportunity to appreciate God for harvest and healthy. Therefore we can distinguish which group we belong to owing to the difference between the rituals and ceremonies which convey the meaning of various cultures.

However, rituals and ceremonies are not the only factor contributing to the formation of culture and habits. And there is little possibility that people will lose themselves once they do not celebrity those rituals and ceremonies. In this era with rapid living pace and development of society, plenty of careers or professions, such as international trader, multinational corporation's manager, and 24-hours service persons for drop-in mending seem like all year taken, so there are increasing persons neglect those opportunities concerning rituals and ceremonies. It is very popular to have a holiday and entrainment in spare time instead of joining a ritual or a ceremony for them. Nevertheless, those actions do represent that they lose the judgement to themselves, and they can define themselves through other ways, such as the customs, the thoughts, eating habits. It is easy to distinguish an eastern person through the using of chopsticks; it is manifest that a German favors beer; and you can find out who are Mussulman through what they eat.

Moreover, rituals and ceremonies can convey other meanings rather than helping define a culture. As the globalization of our world and the effectiveness of communication, we have more opportunities to connect other cultures' rituals and habits. It is common in China, more and more new couples follow the western traditional to hold wedding in churches with the witness of god fathers, which give us a signal that the popularity of western style of wedding. As a consequence, there is a tendency that the holding of ceremony or a ritual can represent a kind of fashion or inclination.

To sum up, we can not only judge a peculiar custom through the ritual or the ceremony of this group persons, sometimes can we also feel a trend of popularity through it. Moreover those rituals and ceremonies are not the only factors to judge a peculiar society, and the eating habits, languages, personalities also account for it in some occasions. Thus in the absence of those ceremonies, people can also distinguish themselves through other ways.

ryanqUID: 154025

As a threshold matter, what is the sense of who we are? Although there is no definite concept about it, it must be related with the groups which we belong to, the living habits, the same race and so forth. People can distinguish themselves through a certain kind of rituals and habits in some occasions. It is acknowledged that rituals and ceremonies can convey the great meaning of some definite(？？) cultures, such as the festivals are different in countries(such as+n.). Chinese are used to celebrate spring festival and in western countries, people hold distinguished ceremonies to welcome Christmas Day, in addition, Chinese people regard Dragon boat festival as an important day to hold family party together, while the American and Canadian view that Thanksgiving day is irreplaceable due to it is an opportunity to appreciate God for harvest and healthy. Therefore we can distinguish which group we belong to owing to the difference between the rituals and ceremonies(意思走了) which convey the meaning of various cultures.
However, rituals and ceremonies are not the only factor(s) contributing to the formation of culture and habits(应该是体现文化和习惯吧，意思不对). And there is little possibility that people will lose themselves once they do not celebrity those rituals and ceremonies. In this era with rapid living pace and development of society, plenty of careers or professions, such as international trader, multinational corporation's manager, and 24-hours service persons for drop-in mending seem like all year taken, so there are increasing persons neglect those opportunities concerning rituals and ceremonies. It is very popular to have a holiday and entrainment in spare time instead of joining a ritual or a ceremony for them. Nevertheless, those actions do represent that they lose the judgement to(of) themselves, and they can define themselves through other ways, such as the customs, the thoughts, eating habits. It is easy to distinguish an eastern person through the using of chopsticks; it (is) manifest that a German favors beer; and you can find out who are Mussulman through what they eat.
Moreover, rituals and ceremonies can convey other meanings rather than helping define a culture. As the globalization of our world and the effectiveness of communication, we have more opportunities to connect other cultures' rituals and habits. It is common in China, (that)more and more new couples follow the western traditional to hold wedding in churches with the witness of god fathers, which give us a signal that(of) the popularity of western style of wedding. As a consequence, there is a tendency that the holding of ceremony or a ritual can represent a kind of fashion or inclination.

感觉论证得不够清晰，有一些地方意思到了，但没说清楚。

总体来看不错，继续努力。

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

多谢ryanq中肯的建议！我先把语言上的毛病改过来，思路上的问题我再考虑下，看怎样说明白，困惑ing  :confused:

最初由 ryanq 发布
[B]such as the festivals are different in countries(such as+n.).
[/B]

改成：
such as diverse festivals in different countries.

最初由 ryanq 发布
[B]difference between the rituals and ceremonies(意思走了)
[/B]

改成：
the differences in rituals and ceremonies

最初由 ryanq 发布
[B]However, rituals and ceremonies are not the only factor(s) contributing to the formation of culture and habits(应该是体现文化和习惯吧，意思不对).
[/B]

改成：
However, rituals and ceremonies are not the only incarnations of cultures and habits

先睡了，明天看大家意见！期待ing :rolleyes:

LSDUID: 157855

占座！
呵呵

LSDUID: 157855

------题目------
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.
------正文------
Rituals and ceremonies are regarded as the symbols of a kind of culture and custom. However, do they have requisite relationship with the definition of a society or a group of people? The author assets they have, which I take leave to doubt and in my opinion, people can distinguish themselves without这里用without似乎有点……绝对化了,毕竟它们还是很有作用的阿 rituals and ceremonies, moreover, the functions of them指代不明哦 are not limited in defining a culture.

As a threshold matter, what is the sense of who we are? Although there is no definite concept about it这里的it, in my opinion 还是有点指代不明啊, it must be related withto the groups which we belong to, the living habits, the same race and so forth. People can distinguish themselves through a certain kind of rituals and habits in some occasions瞧！这里就和首段的那个without 茅盾了阿. It is acknowledged that rituals and ceremonies can convey the great meaning of some definite cultures, such as the festivals are different in countries. Chinese are used to celebrate spring festival and in western countries, people hold distinguished ceremonies to welcome Christmas Day, in addition, Chinese people regard Dragon boat festival as an important day to hold family party together, while the American and Canadian view that Thanksgiving day is irreplaceableindispensable due tofor it is an opportunity to appreciate God for harvest and healthy. Therefore we can distinguish which group we belong to owing to the difference between the rituals and ceremonies which convey the meaning of various cultures.例子举得不错哈，个人感觉分析少了点了
这段看完了之后感觉TS没有写好，不能总结全段的意思啊，望楼主改改！

However, rituals and ceremonies are not the only factors contributing to the formation of culture and habits. And there is little possibility that people will lose themselves onceeven if they do not celebrity those去掉 rituals and ceremonies. In this era with rapid living pace and development of society, plenty of careers or professions, such as international trader, multinational corporation's manager, and 24-hours service persons for drop-in mending seem like all year taken, so there are increasing personsmore and more peoplewho neglect those opportunities concerning rituals and ceremonies. It is very popular to have a holiday and entrainment in spare times instead of joining a ritual or a ceremony for them. Nevertheless, those还是指代不明阿 actions do represent that they lose the judgement to themselves, and they can define themselves through other ways, such as the customs, the thoughts, eating habitsand so forth. It is easy to distinguish an eastern person through the using of chopsticks; it is manifest that a German favors beer; and you can find out who are Mussulman through what they eat.这段的论述，我觉得不是很突出论点阿，呵呵，个人意见

Moreover, rituals and ceremonies can convey other meanings rather than helping define a culture.有点突兀阿，段落安排在想一下哈 As the globalization of our world and the effectiveness of communication, we have more opportunities to connect other cultures' rituals and habits. It is common in China, more and more new couples follow the western traditional to hold wedding in churches with the witness of god fathers, which give us a signal that the popularity of western style of wedding. As a consequence, there is a tendency that the holding of ceremony or a ritual can represent a kind of fashion or inclination.个人认为这段与文化这个落脚点有点差距阿

To sum up, we can not only judge a peculiar custom through the ritual or the ceremony of this group persons, sometimes can we？？ also feel a trend of popularity through it. Moreover those rituals and ceremonies are not the only factors to judge a peculiar society, and the eating habits, languages, personalities also account for it in some occasions. Thus in the absence of those ceremonies, people can also distinguish themselves through other ways

呵呵，以上纯属个人意见如有不妥请多包涵:p

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

我觉得正文第一段：“As a threshold matter, what is the sense of who we are? Although there is no definite concept about it, it must be related with the groups which we belong to, the living habits, the same race and so forth. People can distinguish themselves through a certain kind of rituals and habits in some occasions.“作用不是很大，不如把“It is acknowledged that rituals and ceremonies can convey the great meaning of some definite cultures, such as the festivals are different in countries. “作为TS。 第二段：个人觉得应该重点写 “they can define themselves through other ways, such as the customs, the thoughts, eating habitsand so forth. It is easy to distinguish an eastern person through the using of chopsticks; it is manifest that a German favors beer; and you can find out who are Mussulman through what they eat.“这部分。第三段思路不错，但是TS可能有点问题，让人感觉力度不够。是不是，重点写rituals and ceremonies 的globalization, 使得rituals and ceremonies cannot help define a culture. 个人看法，仅供参考！
总体感觉还可以，继续努力！

chenxgUID: 183868

Basically, i agree with what LSD said. He/She not only pointed out misken in spelling, but also some flaws on logic.  The second body gives a wonderful concession, but the third body and forth body donot give strong suppors.
In third body, you just express the meaning that rituals and ceremonies can make people lose sense of who they are due to they are too busy, what they want is lesiure.  My suggestion is give some examples and reasons, even  when they are too busy, but still have ways of seeking sense of who they are. I think the portion of support is not enough.

The most important that i want to mention is that writing of GRE is focus on logical thinking, not verbal. You should realize that point.

Above all is my opinon, just worth thinking.

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

谢谢大家的修改，我会慢慢消化，争取尽快反馈出来！

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

对于论证不清晰的问题，偶重新整理了下思路：
把rituals and ceremonies 作为载体cultures和civilizations的说，这是一层意思，so they can help define culture，再有就是sence of who they are 可以看作cultures and civilizations的另一种表示方法，除了rituals and ceremonies外，我们可以通过其他方式定义自己，也就是通过habits, languages, custom等表达和传递我们的cultures and civilizations的说。而且同时，some traditional ceremonies and rituals have already changed due to two factors: 1, some of them are superstitions; 2, some of them are out of fashion and synthesize with other customs or convert into other forms, such as wedding ceremony.

重点是把握住ceremony, custom, and culture这三个c之间的逻辑关系。偶就是没把握好，所以论证不清晰！！:(

大家再谈谈。。。